M. - I am so sorry to hear of you and your daughter's loss. I too lost my father when I was 12 years old. It was sudden and very traumatic for myself and the rest of the family. I never did receive any help w/processing this event until just recently (I am 35 yrs old). I would just encourage you to get your daughter the assistance she is asking for through her behavior. It is so important that children have the resources they need to understand and process through the feelings/thoughts they are having and may continue to have throughout their life. Death is very difficult and confusing, even when you are an adult. I now wish that I would have had some therapy at a young age - it may have changed my outlook on family, marriage, friendships, etcetera. Grief is such an individual process that no one can give you a one size fits all kind of approach. If one thing doesn't work, just keep trying - your daughter will thank you for it. I also agree with the others that you might want to seek some assistance for yourself in your grief as it may help you help your daughter with her process. Good luck! My thoughts are with you and your daughter. N.