July 17, 2009,
B.F. asks from Denver, CO on July 16, 2009
How to Handle 8 Month Old Standing up in Crib and Crying
Hi, My 8 month old just learned to pull himself up to a stand. now, instead of sleeping, he'll stand in his crib and cry. Do I go in and lay him down again repeatedly, or does this just teach him that this behavior leads to me comiing in and therefore not sleeping? Or, do I let him stand there and cry until he learns how to sit down and go to sleep? Any experience and advice you'd like to share would be great!
1 mom found this helpful
S.R. answers from Denver on July 17, 2009
I've read in several books that babies often learn to stand up before they learn to sit down. They can scare themselves about not knowing how to sit down again; they don't know how to do it and that's why he's crying. I would advise helping him out for awhile and he'll get the hang of it after awhile. I'd consider it a passing phase, not a potential bad habit.
S.L. answers from Boise on July 17, 2009
It depends on the kid. For my kids would NOT work to just leave them there crying. My first was the perfect cry-it-out baby. But when he finally cried enough (it was only about 5 minutes) to realize he was really tired and wanted to sleep, he was suddenly freaked out that he didn't know how to get down so he could go to sleep. So I'd let him cry for a few minutes, then go help him lay down. Sometimes he'd get back up, so we'd repeat. I'd just kiss him, lay him down, and say ni-night.
My second did NOT understand the cry-it-out thing, and it just made him hysterical that he was upset and no one was coming to help. So I had to go in to lay him down much more often, with little crying between.
I think the most important thing is to pick a method you think will work, and stick to it for at least 3 nights. If it's not helping after 3 nights, try something different.
The good news is that it's much less complicated once they learn to get down. You can help him learn to get down to speed up the process. Then you can go back to whatever method worked for him before he learned to pull up.
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J.A. answers from Denver on July 17, 2009
The reason he is crying is because he doesn't know how to sit back down again and feels stuck. Unfortunately you have to wait this out with him until he learns to sit back down. Don't give him a frustrated look. He will not feel confident then , just place him back down in the sitting position and smile at him. Or you can help him practice sitting back down. It will be over with soon and then you both can rejoice at this new accomplished step in his development . Hang in there!
A.B. answers from Provo on July 17, 2009
You should deffinately go in and "knock" him down so that he knows how to do it. He is screaming because he doesn't understand how to do it himself. Go in as many times as you need to to make sure that he can get to sleep and then practice in the middle of the day with other furniture so that he learns to get down by himself. Then you know that he is okay and you can leave him to scream if that is what you need to do. The first one can be hard because you want to walk that line between training them and teaching them to train you...heehee. Good luck and when all else fails go with your gut you can unteach him later if needs be.
B.M. answers from Salt Lake City on July 17, 2009
I have never agreed with letting an 8 month old just cry. At that age they need to know you are there for them. He has only been alive for 8 months, he is tiny and cannot survive without you. It is normal for him to be nervous when you are not there. I agree with the other Moms who said to go in and soothe him, without picking him up. It will take multiple visits each night and probably many nights. But, if you stick to it you will teach him that it is okay to be in his bed because you are still going to be there when he needs you. Good luck to you. I know how hard that stage is. Take care,
T.W. answers from Denver on July 17, 2009
Let him stand up and cry. Around 6 to 8 months they start to realize a whole new world around them and want to experience it. As hard as it is, you will be happier that you let him learn to calm himself down. Just set a limit as to how long. I usually gave it a good 45 minutes before I did the comfort thing. I just wouldn't let him go for 2 hours or anything then there actually might be something wrong. You know your son and what his limits are, I had one son that never gave up and one that liked sleep so he gave up after 10 minutes. Just trust your instincts.
S.S. answers from Denver on July 16, 2009
I remember a couple of my children going through this and I would go in, not saying anything, lay my child down and leave the room. I also found that my children only did that if they weren't tired or if they were over tired. Be sure to lay your little one down at the first signs of sleepiness to avoid this behavior. Good luck!
Make it a GREAT day!
D.M. answers from Denver on July 16, 2009
This is tough. I have two - almost 3 and 1 and 1/2. So I have just a little experience.
I should first say that I am not a fan of the cry it out method, and feel if our children are crying we need to first understand why. Having said that, if you know he's not sick, wet, dirty, hungry etc. he is likely wanting more attention. With my first I picked her up every time. With my son, we did give him some time to put himself down again - and he eventually did. Once we knew he was safe and healthy, we would leave him for a time. I struggled with this, but it helped to look at the clock and pick a time 2, 5 10 minutes and make myself wait to go get him. Eventually, he would learn to put himself back down. He now sleeps through the night 7:30 - 5:30 (early, but solid sleep).
Just be sure the crib mattress is low enough he can't climb/fall out!
Good luck, and follow your instincts about why he is crying. No right answer, just what works for you guys.
K.D. answers from Denver on July 16, 2009
We just go in and lay our kids down. Up is easier than down. We tell them (again and again) that it's time to sleep. Usually we haven't had to do it more than two or three times a bedtime. If you're worried he's doing it for attention, go in at 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15, etc., but I don't think it'll be a problem. We're doing it now with our third, and the most I remember going in recently is 3 times, 10 minutes apart. GL!