How to Get over a Breakup

I am sorry about your situation. I am a little confused. Are you still getting over your divorce with your husband? You stated that you have a wonderful boyfirend named Charles. I am just trying to understand your situation.
I have half sisters and while my father and thier mother were splitting up, it was very bitter environment for them. I could remember one of my sisters was around 5 years of age and said that she was glad dad was gone because there was no more fighting or yelling. From my own point of view, I feel that the environment your child is in is the most important. So if it is free of bitterness and fighting then I think your child is better off. Your son comes first..However, you need to be able to take care of yourself and be able to handle your emotions...if you can't, your son will sense it. try to set aside some quality one on one time for you and your son.Good luck!

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My advice is to keep busy. Go and do things with your son and if you can, go out with the girls. Keep your mind off of it and in time it will fade. Thats how I got over it. I dont know if that helps but I hope it did.

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When I divorced my first husband I immersed myself in my son. Children have a way of easing your pain. Being a mom is one of the fringe benefits of being a women. They are not separate. Look in your sons eyes, get to know him better. It seems you have not given yourself time to get over your divorce let alone the breakup. They are very close together. Have faith and belief in yourself and thank God everyday for that little innocent in all of this. Allow the tears to come and embrace YOU!!!!!

Hi J.,
First of all kudos for going back to school. I just graduated this past May and it was such a confidence builder. I have been divorced for almost 4 years and recently (2 years ago) started dating someone wonderful; or so I thought.... Bottom line, I am now single and having the same problems with how to handle my emotions and not scare my son. What to say vs. what not to say. For me and my personality style, I read a book called "It's Called a breakup because it's broken" by Greg Negrendt. This book gave me the reality of breaking up, how to keep things in perspective, and by the time I got to the end, I felt so much better. I am not sure if it works for everyone, but it definitely helped me. Good luck and remember you are strong and can accomplish what ever you set your mind to.
Smiles,
Jen

Hi J.,
It is very hard to not show emotions when your dealing with children. I too went through the same thing myself, although my son is 12 it was hard for him. Are you on good terms with your ex? If so, try to keep him in the loop of your child's day to day routine - it will help. If you are not; encourage a healthy relationship with your son's dad (sometimes difficult I am aware) But, in the end they will appreciate it.
Make some time for yourself, yes, get a sitter and go get a pedicure or something for yourself. It helps. Keep it in perspective that you are the Mom and Dad know and it is rough and tiring, but, I have done if for the past 12 years. My son loves and respects his dad, but, knows that I am the one that has been present. If it gets to much, go to therapy it has helped us tremendously.
Good Luck
Roberta
Stayin HOme and Lovin It

If I may ask, why did you break it off? How long were you together?

: )Kathy

I am going through the same thing and i agree it does stink and I am trying to find ways to get over it. I find myself more tense, less patience and my 6 year old feels it. Being a single mom was not in my plans and it feels like I am trying to get used to handling everything but it is not fun. I find myself feeling more guilt then anything else. I have just been trying to spend more quality time with my daughter and find ways to keep busy and try my hardest to take a deep breath when I feel angry. Sometimes getting out alone feels good or with my friends something I was never permitted to do. So if you find ways to get through it please let me know some tips.

I suggest getting out with friends and finding one good friend to talk you through your break up. No denie your feelings about the break up. Your child shouls see you deal with your emotions this how they learn. I wouldn't use my children has a sounding to deal with my angry. You don't want them thinking it a wonderful day in the neighborhood with are sad. When I broke up with my husband and my daughter's father (not husband) the losts were different. I had with my since we were 16 and 17. My daughter's father and I were together for a year.

Take it one day at a time. rearrange your home, making you feel like you are beginning a new life. When you need to cry cry when your alone, like the shower, basement doing laundry or on the ride in to or from work. let it out. don't hold it in. i think you can mention to your son that you are sad and that you miss his father but make sure you reasure him that you two are going to be okay and try to keep him busy and active so he don't dwell on the situation.

Any chance in rekindling the relationship with Trent's father? If not - you need to get out with friends and remember that you will find true love...it is just a step away.!

Take one day at a time. I know it's hard I left my girl's dad after 13 year's. I left him when our youngest was just 2 year's old. Things will get better, I promise. It's going to be a long hard road, but you need to be strong for little one. Cry, but cry when he can't see you or hear you. Redo your home, if it has to many memories of the past, and have your son help you ( i know he's only 3) but have him smell candels to see which one he like's, let him help pick out a pillow for the sofa (I know it might not be company type of design, but if you do it together you'll start feeling better) If your exhusband was controling, do something that he never would have allowed you to do ( as long as it is safe for you ad your baby boy). Now is the time when you need understanding friends and family for you to lean on, i can't "reach out and give you a hug" but I am here if you need to talk/cry to someone. Like I said it's going to be hard, but it does get better. You will start noticing you will be crying less and less, and the "heavyness" in your heart will become lighter. good luck and take one day at a time. Just remember that you have a new beginning with your son, so the biggest advice that I can give you (as corny as it sounds, but it's my new philosophy) "live life through your childrens eye's, you'll be seeing things for the first time"