November 25, 2006,
S.B. asks from Hendersonville, TN on November 09, 2006
How to Forgive My Daughter.
Two years ago my daughter got pregnant and then married. Her husband which I liked moved in with us and they gave me my first grandson. "A light in my life" They lived with me for two years except for a short time they moved out on their own for about 4 months. They choose a place within walking distance of my home. They eventually split up and my daughter moved back in with my grandson within this same time period. They secretly reconciled and anounced they were moving to another state closer to his parents. I begged and pleaded that she not leave, but her mind was made up and with in two weeks they were gone.
Now I have the biggest broken heart of my life. My days are filled with tears and its been three months. My daughter thought I would just "adjust". It's not happening and I cant seem to forgive her. She is coming here for Thanksgiving to retrieve the rest of her things. I will get to see them again and watch them leave. I havent been able to talk to my grandson because I cry when I speak to either one of them. I cant accept them living away from me. What should I do?
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So What Happened?™
First of all, thank you for taking the time and sharing your feelings with me. I cried reading each and every one of these responses. It took awhile to read them. Honestly, my heart is so broken over loosing this grandchild. Due to a response, I've decided to purchase a webcam while my daughter is here to try and keep in touch. My daughter knows there is nothing she could ever do to loose my love. She knows I am wrapped around her finger. I am not able to travel to visit them and they are far from here. I know God is in control and I pray ALOT. I am going to try to start over when they come. I pray you all have a great Holiday. Thank you again.
L.O. answers from Nashville on November 10, 2006
I know its hard to let go. I have a 19 yr old and 2 other girls 7 and 10 months. My 19 yr old has moved out and I miss her so much. I know it would be so hard if she moved out of state. I guess that is life though. I have a friend that her son just had a baby but she lives here in TN and he lives in PA and she gets to see him very little she has gone therre twice since his birth He is 3 months. You should really be thankful for having him in your life for as long as you did cause he has bonded with you and he will always remember you being there. Maybe they just need a new start and eventually maybe they will return.
You should really forgive your daughter this is probally the scariest thing she has ever done. I was adopted at the age of 2 I guess my mom didnt get to bond with me cause she really doesnt seem to care for me I love her with all my heart but I could never depend on her like your daughter can depend on you. Just calm down and stop crying on the phone so your little darling grandson can hear your wonderful voice cause he is probally mourning for you also. Ther is always a solution to every problem if you try. Please dont be angry at her just LOVE her. My children dont have a grandmother as wonderful as you so please dont lose that Make your grandson PROUD
PRAYING FOR YOUR WHOLE FAMILY
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D.J. answers from Knoxville on November 10, 2006
I don't have any tips but just wanted to send you ((((((((hugs)))))).
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S.J. answers from Knoxville on November 10, 2006
Oh My.. I really don't know how to tell you or what to tell you. I just wanted to write in and give you some *HUGS* because it sounds like you need them. I hope everything will work out. Maybe your daughter will realize that she has hurt you and that you miss the lil one very much. As far as talking to your grandson, talk all the time even through tears. this will let him know granman is still around.
&HUGS* i hope it gets better
V.W. answers from Nashville on November 10, 2006
It sounds like Nanna needs to go visit for a while. I know its tough, its hard for you to understand why she would leave. Maybe she feels its the only way for them to stay together if she agreed to go. Is she willing to send her son to stay with you for a week or so? Try to work things out with her so that you can switch up between going there to visit and him coming here to visit. I'm sure she's concerned and upset by how hurt you are by the situation. I don't think she would have left without thinking long and hard about it. I hope you feel better soon. Just pray for God to give you the strength you need to get through this tough time.
B. answers from Augusta on November 10, 2006
we kind of had this situation with us , we lived close to hubbys parents now we have moved and live closer to mine, you HAVE to think about the other grandparents , they deserve to see their grandchild too, you were spoiled by having him so close you could see him any time you wanted to now its their turn. I SERIOUSLY doubt they did all this just to make you upset. did they move because of a job or something like that or do they simply want to give the other grandparents a chance with their grandchild, or the grandchild chance to get to know his other grandparents, this isnt about you its about them and whats best for them. Something like this is rarely done to punish one grandparent. and if you want to see the grandchild that bad pack up and go visit THEM, heck my inlaws have been to visit EVERY 6 weeks without fail they have been here more in the past 6 months than my own parents have in the past year. Its not about forgiving her for what shes done its about you realizing that she didnt move to keep you away, she dosnt need forgiving she didnt do anything wrong.
A.S. answers from Jackson on November 11, 2006
I wish there was some advice I could give. Best thing I can do is send you big hugs and prayers. My boys are so young now I don't have to worry about this yet, but all you can do is tell yourself to visit them and get them to visit you as much as possible. And remind yourself, your daughter is doing what she feels is best. I live in the same town as my parents, but we only see each other once a week with the way our schedules are. Just hang in there and pray for guidance.
D.S. answers from Athens on November 12, 2006
My mother and I was in a simllar situation. I moved away to another state when my son was two months old and I was 21, For my husbands job.
Mama was soso hurt and every time i talk to her she would cry and evertime i seen her see would cry.
I missed her everyday and i talked to her every day on the phone. She is my mother and i never meant to disrespect her but it was time for me to Grow up and have a family of my own. It was soo very hard with mama being a single parent I just wanted to give my son the best.
It had been two years since i moved away and mama died in June. I miss her soo much and some times i do regert moving away but everthing happens for a reason and God has a plan for all us. It has taken my a long time to relize that. I have been away for two years so i know how to coupe a little not being with my mama so maybe God did that for me.
so Please dont not forgive your daughter forever just know that u did the best u could for her and now its her time to grow and give her family the best. Try to do some things that will help stay in touch. Like my mother and i got a webcam. And I emailed pics and lil video clips to here all the time.
I am crying now, your story insperes me b.c i know that maybe my envice can help.
I dont know your religon so i hope i did not offend You.
M.E. answers from Atlanta on November 10, 2006
Okay I am a young single mother also away from home and my parents. Life is about getting out on your own and making a life for you and your family( daughter, son in law and child) I dont see the problem. You should be happy for her, she is a mother, a wife and will always be your daughter!!! She loves you and Im sure she isnt doing anything to hurt you. She is growing up, which Im sure you want her to do, would you rather her be with you but be longing for her husband and uphappy. I am happy for her.. You should be too.