How to Encourage 7 y.o. to Stick with Piano Lessons

If she hates it, why not let her try something else? Piano is not for everybody. Maybe she'd rather join a children's chorus (which would also teach her music theory), or maybe she'd prefer ballet or swimming or... who knows. At this age, you might as well let them do what they like. If she shows an interest in piano later on, then she can start up again. It's so much easier to be a good piano student when it's something you want and love to do. There's nothing worse than trudging through 30 minutes a day of something you hate. We tried piano for my daughter (also 7) and it went over like a lead balloon. She confessed that what she really wanted to do was join a cheerleading team. So that's what we did - and she looks forward to it all week! I figure life's too short to have to nag your kids all the time!

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Here's my advice: have her go to a few lessons, you pick the number, and see if she likes the lessons. Then see if she practices on her own naturally. Then, after a set number of lessons, put a sheet at the piano with a sticker sheet. She can give herself 1 sticker each time she practices for 1/2 an hour. She needs to initiate the practice session. Playing should become one more at-home activity (added on to playtime, computer time, tv time, chores time etc.). The trick, I think is that she has to initiate the practices. Otherwise, yes, perhaps she should quit. Piano IS boring at the beginning; everything is boring at the beginning; she will quit every activity if she does not have the patience to get past the first stage of being new at something.

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Unless piano is very important to you, maybe you should try something else. If you want to stick with it, give it about 3 months, and if she still thinks it's boring then try another instrument, or some other sport or activity.

Realistically, do YOU like everything you've ever tried?

My son really didn't like soccer, and we made him do it a few times, but once he tried swimming, he had found his sport.

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Hi,

I have three kids and they have had many different lessons, swimming, piano, gymnastics, dance, painting,
soccer, ice skating etc. My oldest one is 11 and my youngest one is 5. Our rule is this. When I propose
lessons, or when they come to me and say I want to do this, if we decide that we do it, and I pay for the lessons, we are going to the lessons unless something prevents it, unlike sick or car breaks down. I take
them there to the teacher, and the rest is up to them.
They can sit by the pool and not get in, or be in the
gym and not be on the floor doing gymnastics, but
pretty soon, they figure out it's more boring
not participating than participating, and it's then
not boring to them anymore.

So take her to the lessons, even if you have to let her
sit there and not play the instrument. A good private
teacher or group class will have the kids participating
easily. At home, put her on the piano for 30 minutes
even if you have to let her sit there for 30 minutes
not doing anything and not playing. If you do this
for 2-4 weeks and she sits there not touching the keys,
which is difficult to imagine, then you can say to
yourself she is just not interested in it.

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Different perspective here: She's had one lesson, and a little over a week of practicing -- she doesn't yet know if it's for her or not. I DO think there is a huge benefit to having to stick it out and push past the initial difficulties, as you say. I work with a lot of teens who have not been given the opportunity by their parents to learn that life is not always fun or interesting, sometimes there are times (like when learning something new, which might be hard) when you need discipline and perseverance.

That said, you should try to make it as interesting for her as possible, and certainly try to have your 5 or 15 minutes of practice a day be a time where a) it's scheduled at the same time every day, so she knows to expect it, and b) you (or another adult she loves) are there with her while she practices, so that you can encourage her progress. I took piano lessons from the age of 5 until I was a sophomore in high school. I didn't always like it, but I liked being able to get better at something. And my grandmother, who raised me, was always in the room while I practiced during the early years. We had our share of arguments, especially when I just wasn't feeling it that day, but she encouraged me to no end.

You might try sticking with it for a few months -- set a date and tell your daughter you two will revisit the issue then; until then, she has to practice every day.

Just my two cents. Good luck!

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Hi K., I asked to play the piano when I was about 7 and I still remember how dullsville those early lessons were. I continued to practice because once I had mastered the lessons and spent some time on scales I could play whatever I wanted. You can try getting some books with your child's favorite tunes. Some libraries carry music books. Also inviting other children who play the piano to come over will help. Maybe there is a child at school who plays well but does not have her own piano and would love to practice on yours.

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Greetings K.: As the mother of 5, I want to encourage both of you because as we say at our house-- you have picked a hot button issue & ding round 1 and the leader will win!
We had a rule that each child had to do music lessons for at least 2 years-- with 2 instruments. Piano, was one and then the choice was theirs. Was it easy? no* was it worth it? yes for the most part.
My children all learned that they had to live up to commitments, to balance play time with practice time. As a starter when we had 3 children that all had to practice-- we decided to go to our church building and they could each go and use a different piano, while I sat in the foyer and could hear them all. One child liked to play late in the evenings and one early bird got up to practice at 6 am. Now as they have taken music classes in college they are grateful that they can read music, know theory, learned discipline, and can play.
Try having an talent night and have your child play for you. Is there a certain type of music that your child likes?? One of ours wanted honkey tonk so we changed teachers and they taught that. One 7 year old wanted to learn to play the Disney movie themes. So the teacher found creative ways for that to be the focus of the lesson.
Since you are the parent you will have the final decision to make, not the child. You are setting her up to learn that when something is boreing, takes to long, or you don't see the reward right away just leave it. This attitude won't help as they become teens and want to take the easy way out on many topics. I know that your insisting won't get the appreciation that it deserves now in the present. But I can promise you that it will in the future. So stand firm and insist that they finish out the next 365 days-- cross each one off a calender if you like but let her see that there is a personal reward at the end of that year!!!
Good Luck, Nana Glenda

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hi K....

unfortunately, you should let her quit, music should be enjoyable, and forcing her to continue taking classes, and practice, will probably backfire before it ever becomes if it ever becomes worthwhile. having said that, inform her that she must choose an alternate activity if you prefer music, then check out any and all instruments, most classes will allow your child to sit in on a class before enrolling, i don't know of any music store that wouldn't happily open their doors to you and your daughter to look, touch, listen or try out the instruments. if music isn't the defining option, there are sports karate dance pottery painting singing yoga...the list is endless, and let her test the waters (within reason) and find her own bliss. you may find she 'll realize beginning anything can be boring and that it will talke some practice, and she may even return to piano. but don't force your child in extra-cirriculars. if youy'd rather set a time she must endure piano for, one more month or what have you, and then she may choose to quit or continue. if you allow her to choose and test the waters let her know once her choice is made she must stick to it, it is a commitment, for how ever long you decide she must commit.

good luck and make it enjoyable

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Dear K.,
I think letting her give up after only one lesson would be a mistake. I'll bet at 7, she figured after one lesson she should be playing like Mozart by now. The very beginning is really kind of boring, but you have to learn the keys, finger placement, and how to read the notes. You really have to start at the beginning. I would let her watch people who've spent their lives practicing to get as good as they are. It might help motivate her. I never had a problem with my kids wanting to practice (to my dismay somedays). My daughter also studied the flute and for some reason, the piano was much easier on my eardrums. Speaking of drums, my son started percussion in the 4th grade and that kid was banging on every piece of furniture in the house. The piano, on the other hand, is so lovely and stationary and can't be dragged from room to room.
My daughter liked me recording her while she practiced. My son was just a baby and I'd put him in the high chair and she would "play" for him. She also liked practicing and playing for Grandpa.

Our piano teacher was at least 163 years old and it took her longer getting up the steps to the house than the lesson lasted. But dang, she could play the piano. She brought us all these really old pictures of her and her husband. They made their living playing in nightclubs and things every night when they were younger. She was a very interesting person so that was part of what we enjoyed about the lessons.

I don't think you should "force" your daughter about the lessons and practicing, but it just seems too early and a shame to give up after not even really getting started. I'd try to get her to stick with it. I believe she'll be glad she did.

Best wishes!

P.S. I also wanted to say that I know a kid who began music lessons at a very early age. That kid can play anything and even has his own band. They just went to Sacramento and recorded a CD. He went straight from high school to Humboldt State University and is majoring in music. He wants to be a music professor and at 19, he is well on his way. Your daughter may never be that interested in all the theory and technical aspects, but she may learn to love it.

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If I remember correctly, the first few weeks of piano is quite boring... mostly running scales and simple little tunes. But, it's an essential part of getting to the more interesting stuff. I would encourage her to give it three months trial. Also talk to her teacher about the difficulty she's having. The teacher may have some ways of making it more interesting for her too.

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My daughter is 6 (7 in a few weeks) she also takes piano lessons. And yes, at times gets very bored with practice. Fortunately we have an incredible teacher! Half an hour is plenty long enough for someone her age. I try and sit near her listening and critiquing (nicely, we don't need a power struggle). I also have sat down and played with her. She usually had 3 songs she is practicing and she knows that she has to do each of them 3 to 4 times. We also have a metronome that helps her keep the beat and also keeps her "company". She is allowed to play whatever she wants when she is done.
The other day she was incredibly bored with practice so we did something different...I showed her a youtube video of a 6 year old piano prodigy named Ethan. Once she was done watching the clip she sat right back down at the keyboard! I am attaching the clip...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT27q5_vJEU

Anything worth having is worth working for....

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Do any of her friends take piano also? My 7.5YO twins just started piano in August and knowing that some of their friends were also taking piano seems to make it more interesting to them, esp. since they're using the same books (the "Piano Adventures" series) even though they have different teachers

One week IMO is not enough time to decide on whether or not to quit. One of my girls picked up on the lessons faster than her sister (who was feeling frustrated/discouraged b/c she was learning at a slightly slower pace) but now that she's reached the learning notes on the staff, she feels more confident and excited about learning.

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It depends on the piano teacher. I started when I was 6 years old. I had a young and fun piano teacher. she made learning fun and practice was not a issue. However later she was accepted to a music school in Europe. My parents enrolled me with another piano teacher with theory, theory and more theory. As a 7 year old this was boring and I lost interest. Look into what she is learning...introduce some fun pieces to peak her interest. this may help with the practice part. Speak with the Piano teacher she/he may have another approach to encourage the practice part. Good luck...

I took a break and later picked it back up when I was in 3rd grade.

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Does she like going to the lessons? My daughter (now 17) tells me that if I had made her practice the flute she would have quit long ago. She practices when she wants to and enjoys going to her lessons, and she enjoys playing music.

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Take the child to concerts, watch music videos of John Meyer, John Legend, or Alicia Keyes, Encourage playing at the piano and not just working on scales.

Perhaps take a look at the teacher. A great teacher can sometimes make a big difference.

If after that she's still not ready, then postpone lessons until she is, or move to another instrument or another activity. But don't give up, you know how happy she'll be later in life when she has mastered the skill of playing!

Good luck.

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Where is the piano in the house? Is she separated from the family? I found that I had to take the time and sit in the room with my daughter when she practiced for the first several months. I think it felt like a punishment to be banished to the living room to practice, when her brother and I were in different rooms. I started sitting in the room with her and reading or knitting or her older brother (this made her smile), her would lie on the floor on his back and "twiggle" her back with his toes in time to the music ~ sort of like a backrub. She loved the attention she got while she practiced and stuck it out.

Try to get her to stick to it, she's really too young to know what she likes or doesn't like at this point and a week isn't enough.

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My kids have taken piano for years, and getting them to practice never gets any easier. They NEVER want to. I have tried to make it part of their daily chores and responsibilities, which has worked best, but still is hard. (there is always groaning and eye rolling involved, even when they do it!) I guess you have to decide how important it is to you and her that she learn to play, and if you are willing to stick it out, because it's never easy! Good luck!

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This is a really hard one. I wish I had been made to stick with piano lessons, but at the time, I would have done anything to get out of practicing. My mother would put a clock on the piano (which they had not been able to afford, but bought it anyway) so that I would practice for an hour a day. I would set the clock forward every few minutes, then climb out the window and run off.

On the other hand, at least some of my friends who are musicians have had a different experience--- their kids have been willing to spend the time practicing, perhaps because they see that their parents have to practice, too, and they have a living example in front of them of what they can have if they stick with it.

I think the person who advises letting the child continue taking the lessons, as long as they want, and making their own decision about whether they practice, and how often, has the best advice. (Of course, they'll have to have a teacher who is okay with this approach.) These kids may become more willing to practice as they make some headway in learning to play the instrument.

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