23 answers

How to Discuss Puberty with 9 Year Old Girl

My daughter is about to turn 10 and is close to starting her period. She does not want to talk about it with me. Everytime I bring up a tid bit of information, I hear "mom". Is there a book that I could read that would guide me in how to discuss puberty and sexuality. I would like it with some scriptual guidance as well. Any advice?

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Hi P.,
I got my daughter these books from the library "the period book" and "my body, my self for girls".

1 mom found this helpful

Ready, Set, Grow is an awesome book. Depending on her reading level she may be able to read it herself. Good luck!

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I'd recommend the same books everyone else has for puberty. As for sex. We use the series God's Design for Sex. It is a 4 book series for ages 3-teen. I just read the 1st book to my kids ages 7, 7, 10 and the 2nd book to my 10 year old. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Ready, Set, Grow is an awesome book. Depending on her reading level she may be able to read it herself. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My girls are not to that stage yet. But, I have heard of a wonderful resource I plan to use. It is a curriculum put out by Family Life Today (Christian radio/resource program) The idea is you take your daughter away for a weekend together where you can connect and go through the program. I remember being young and embarrassed, but I still needed my mom to be the one to tell me. Making it an event might make it easier. Here is a link to their program. Best of luck!
http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3955827/k....

1 mom found this helpful

Hi P.,
I got my daughter these books from the library "the period book" and "my body, my self for girls".

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter is ten and i went and got the american girl series-the care and keeping of girls. It explains puberty, how to groom a growing body, feelings, etc. We read it together everynight together. It was a great tool and a great experience for the two of us. I bought it at barnes and noble-you can also find it at target.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with the other posts but would like to add:
Please try to keep open communication between you & your daughter. Don't make it a big deal, just talk freely about things that are not too embarrassing in a matter of fact sorta way. (If you are nervous & make it a big deal she might tend to be embarrassed.) The older she gets the more important it is that she know she can come to you with anything and that you will always be there for her.
Chances are her friends and her have talked about puberty etc & she thinks she knows stuff already.
Best of luck to you both.

1 mom found this helpful

You've received lots of great replies, but I wanted to throw you another option. I used the Passport to Purity book for my daughters. I think its either by Family Life or Focus on the Family (can't remember). It helps you set up a weekend getaway retreat for mother/daughter or father/son. It covers all topics and is biblically based. It was great and I have recommended it to a lot of friends.

1 mom found this helpful

When my now 12 year old was about 9 I went to LifeWay and got the My Beauty, My Body books. They were great!! Highly recommend. It is not so much a book that you read then discuss, but one you could read together of your daughter could read (as mine did) then discuss issues or questions. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter is only 4 (5 soon), but I wanted to be prepared, because I don't ever remember my mother talking to me about puberty, boys, or sex. I went out and bought "The Care and Keeping of You". It has been very informative, and when the time is right, I plan to have a girls weekend with my daughter (probably when she is about 8 or 9) to talk to her about any questions or issues she might have. You can find the book at walmart or another bookstore.

1 mom found this helpful

I love Chrisitan Girls Guide to Change. I bought it on Amazon and my daughter really enjoyed it. She read it alone and I told her that she could ask me any questions, that way she didnt feel I was pushing it on her. She readit cover to cover in a few days.

I love that it doesnt talk about sex and it covers everything from shaving to your period to hair and nail care.

1 mom found this helpful

Buy the American Girls book "The care and Keeping of you"

Read it together. it covers everything.

The American Girls series has a great book! ;)

My daughter is 14 and I started talking with her very early, maybe 5 or so, about it, so it wouldn't be a 'BIG TALK'. I think it was when she walked in on me in the bathroom and asked about 'feminine products' I was using. I just did it on whatever her age level was at the time. The illustration I used early on was that a girl's body is like a nest and every month the nest gets built up, ready for a baby to grow. When, of course,there is no baby, the extra stuff to help the baby grow leaves the body and your body keeps doing this just to be prepared, in case it's the right time. Don't tell her more than you're comfortable with and do it in 'bite sized' pieces so it's not such a big deal. This is just how I did it and it was pretty seamless. We talked easily about it. When she was about 11, I talked with her about it happening to her and we put together a 'kit' of supplies and how to use them so in case it happened when I wasn't around, it wouldn't be scary and she would know exactly what to do. As it happened, it was at her dad's house and she called to tell me and was able to handle it with confidence. All this may be more than you wanted to know but it worked out well for my daughter. Good luck!

Hi P.,
If you would send me your P.O. Box or address I will send you a small book that gives you the words to teach your child about puberty and other matters of life it also gives much scriptual guidance, the title is: "Questions Young People Ask". My regular email address is as follows: ____@____.com and be sure to put the word PUBERTY in the subject line.

Lillie

I came across a book at Target that was an American Girl book talking about a girls body. She might realte to this better as it has lots of pictures. It talked about shaving, keeping yourself clean, and of course had the period talk as well. I thought it was much better than the books I read as a young girl. Those seemed to scare me, but this is something that she might be able to relate to. My daughter is only 5 yrs old and has American Girl dolls so this will probably be a good thing to have for her when the time is right. Good luck. The best advice I can give it that you tell her the truth without too much being revealed. You don't want to put fear in her. Good luck.

We used The Body Book, It's a God Thing. I read it to my girls so I could leave out anything they were not ready for. It just talks about their body changes. It is set up for them to read themselves.

P.-
about the same age as your daughter, I gave my daughter (now 15 yrs. old) a book from the American Girl Doll Company. It's called "All About Me" and it is written on their level. She read it during her alone time and it seemed to help. Even though your daughter seems embarrassed, I would encourage you to keep talking with her. My daughter and I talk about everything now.
Good Luck-
K. M. (mother of 5)

If she doesn't want to talk to you......then I would go with the American Girl book....Care and Keeping of You.

Don't let your feelings be hurt....she may feel embarrassed to talk to you. Just be there for her.

I second "The Care and Keeping of You". It is fabulous. I bought it for my daughter just after she turned 10. It sparked questions and conversation.

Our church does a Created by God program that is basically a Christian sex ed course. It provides a book with the course. If you want to know what she is learning then you could sign up as a chaperone. It is a 2 day course. Maybe you could try an internet search to see if there is a church in your area that is hosting one of these classes soon. Good luck!

When I was growing up one of my friends moms took her on a girls weekend to have "the talk". They stayed in a hotel and did lots of girlie things, make-up, manicures, etc. It made it a little more private and less embarissing. There was no chance of anyone knowing what was been said behind closed doors. Maybe something like that in conjuction with a book might make her feel more comfortable. Good Luck!

I agree... The Care & Keeping of You is a wonderful book. Both of the libraries in our area carry it, so you might check Plano Library as well. We've checked it out 3-4 times over the last year... then it seems to stay fresh (our kids are at an age now where books that we own tend to sit on the shelf, even if they haven't read them in ages... in fact, some times when we're at the library they'll pick out a book that I know they already have at home!)

Good Luck!
www.familyeguide.com A free guide to affordable family activities in Flower Mound, Lewisville, Highland Village and the surrounding communitities.

I agree, run to Barnes and Noble or even Walmart and get the book the first mom mentioned. I would give her a day or two with it alone and then talk about the book together. It will give her time to prepare herself for the discussion. Maybe give it to her on a Wednesday and say let's talk about these things on Saturday - maybe go have lunch somewhere where you can talk openly without others hearing you so closely.

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