How to Decide on Preschool

Hi E.,

Visit all the ones you are thinking about, especially unannounced. Talk to everyone for recommendations. Do some research, I remember reading several articles about how preschool actually does more harm than good to little ones. Have you thought about homeschooling?

Good luck, S.

Both my children attend a Montessori preschool/daycare and started around 18 months in the toddler class. They begin potty training in the 2 yr old class and are in the traditional preschool class from 3-5 years old. I'm a huge fan of the Montessori method of learning - my son was reading by age 4 and both my son and daughter became very verbal and articulate starting in the toddler class. Our Montessori is not a 100% free-for-all. They have circle time every morning, lessons with the teacher, reading together, and spanish, french and dance classes in the afternoons. I would try to find a Montessori that includes some structure so the transition to regular school is easier. But most importantly, look for caring providers and a center with low turnover of employees.

If you are in the Haymarket area, there is a great preschool that offeres a one or two day program that doesn't require the children be potty trained. It is called daytime playtime. There is some "structure" like snack time, circle time, art time and lots of freedom to explore etc. I advise you to show up unannounced and ask for a tour of the school. That way, you can see everything as it "really" is. Good luck.

Be aware that if you want to put her in preschool "sometime after her second birthday" you may find that hard, if you truly are looking for a preschool program as opposed to daycare. Most preschools I've seen around here don't take children as young as two; some do begin them at two and a half but expect them to be potty trained pretty shortly thereafter. Starting at about age three is more usual. "Preschool" tends to mean half-day programs (from two to four hours, three hours being pretty widespread) for kids who can separate from their parents without major fusses for that period of time; who are ready to listen to an adult who's not a parent; who can follow basic instructions from that adult; and who can co-exist with other kids well enough to get along in a group.

As for making the decision: The best way is to get recommendations from parents you know, stop by preschools you see as you drive around, research them in local directories and then visit, visit, visit preschools that interest you and get a good feel for the place. Does it seem loud and chaotic or calm and ordered? Do you observe that the kids are engaged and engrossed or are they fidgeting and bored? Are the materials and toys and resources up to date and clean and interesting? Can the teachers keep the kids moving from activity to activity effectively and bring reluctant kids into the fold? Is it too "academic" for your child, or conversely, is it too basic without any attempt to teach at all? Any preschool that discourages you from visiting and observing isn't one you want to consider.

I don't know a lot about Montessori, but I've known families whose kids did well with that approach and families who disliked it. You need to figure out what approach will work best for your child, and at 18 months, it may be too soon to know that about her. And remember, a preschool that your parent friends just rave about may be terrific for them and their kids but make you feel, "This just isn't for us and I can't put my finger on why..." Don't be afraid to go with your gut on that and choose what works for your child and you too. My daughter was very happy at a more "school-like" preschool that just didn't work for my friend's child who needed more active play; I disliked the strict disciplinary tones of the application materials I got from another preschool that other friends said worked well for their kids. This process can take a lot of time and visits so it's good you're starting to think about it now. Be warned -- you probably will just love the first preschool you visit and think "This is the one!" but see others! I thought the first one I saw was amazing but then saw more and realized there are many good ones out there.

I run an in home daycare - what does your current Provider provide? Most parents think they have to move their child from the in home daycare to a "school" - there are many Providers out there - like myself - that would provide a preschool atmosphere for the children if they could get/keep children in their care old enough to have one. I currently have 4 two year olds and I am very excited they will be staying with me as I plan on starting a "curriculum" with them this Fall. There are many fabulous curriculums out there for us as Providers to take advantage of. Keep in mind too - some Providers don't provide a curriculum because many parents pull children from us before we have a chance to start one. Hopefully you won't have to move her from the environment she is comfortable with - Good luck!

I started both my kids shortly after their second birthday. It was a preschool program, not a daycare as another writer stated (although some schools offer a daycare portion for the afternoon). The 2 yr old programs have some structure but a lot of free time. I visited many programs before deciding on the programs for my kids. One thing I found was that in our area the programs fill quick, so you have to find out the registration date and get their early or you miss out. I missed out 2 yrs in a row for my daughter. Most don't require 2 yos to be potty trained, but one did. Most in our area make the child be 2 by Sept or you wait until the following sept to start, although if there is room , you can start once they turn 2. Some are parent participation and some are not. I went by what was available, word of mouth and visiting. Several moms in our area start their kids at age 2 to be assured a spot in the 3 yr old program. Both of my kids reacted differently to starting, my daughter cried for months on end, my son parted on the first day with a see you and loves it, gets upset when it isn't a preschool day. Good luck on your search.

I used word of mouth for my children. As the other person mentioned, you also need to decide what you want for your child. I know families who have gone on word of mouth and never visited the place but just registered. They were unhappy! What may work for one may not work for another so make sure you visit. You can also google questions to ask or what to look for, when you go to visit. Most programs do start at 2 1/2 if the child is potty trained. I know the school I work for has a preschool program and many are potty trained but I know there have been a few who were not but were shortly after starting. Christ the King (www.ctkparish.org), in Norfolk, is the school. They offer half day (everyday, every other day, or whatever works for you) or it can be all day (set up for the working parent). Decide what you want for your child at this time, google preschool expectations, and visit the program all before you register. Oh and keep in mind, some preschool programs have waiting lists so if you plan to start her after the program begins in Aug or Sept you may have to wait. I know our program has a waiting list so I thought I should mention that. Best Wishes as you embark on this grand adventure with your daughter.

she's awfully tiny for 'structure'! montessori is an excellent choice, a wonderful attitude toward education that focuses on the child as an individual and not on mass standards or tests. look into it, i'll bet you'll be impressed.
khairete
S.

I don't know where you are located. But in the Hampton Roads, Virginia area, there are a lot of church affiliated pre-school programs that take two year olds who aren't potty trained. If they don't take two year olds, they usually take them at 2 1/2 and expect them to be potty trained. In Northern Virginia and Maryland the starting age seems to be fixed at 3 for a two-morning per week program.

My daughter went to pre-school because she is an only child and she needed the socialization (I'm an SAHM who doesn't stay home)and she started at two. The first two years were great; her four year-old-teacher was horrible and we really had a rough year. I should have taken her out of that class when my insticts were telling me to (mostly because I was getting yelled at by the teacher for being a bad mother). After another horrible year in Kindergarten, I finally figured out the teachers that she has had for the past two years are verbally abusive. So, be aware that not all of the teachers in preschools are of the loving, nurturing type. I can understand not putting up with kid BS because I don't either, but you don't have to be nasty about it. Not every teacher, no matter the program, is going to love your daughter the way you do.

A friend of mine put her two boys into Montessori because her sister is a Kindergarten teacher and she highly reccommends the program.

Virginia has the Smart Beginnings program, though it seems to be more of a private business trying to make money than a state program. I looked at their website once and found it unhelpful. Supposedly it is accrediting daycares and pre-schools, so if you live in Virginia it might be worth looking into.

Best wishes to you and your girl. May you find the perfect school.