How to Deal with Mean Ppl

I feel for you; most people have a hard time with my high energy son. Imagine having to spend hours with such a crab. This will make you feel better: while flying on a plane, hubby and daughter were on the left side with a seat between them for son. I was in the lone seat across the aisle. Son wanted to cuddle with me (he was maybe 4 or 5). The woman next to me complained that my son was kicking and pushing against the seat in which her husband was sitting. She complained, not him. So I gently asked my son to try not to squirm so much. After all he was on my lap so I was feeling the fidgeting too! Then I sat and thought and thought. It was a crowded and hot plane so I understood that some people were having a hard time. What bugged me though was that she suggested [strongly] that my good quiet daughter [doing schoolwork] should sit next to her. I hate people criticizing my perfectly normal high energy son, even if its criticism in reverse. So I called to my husband across the aisle "Hon would you switch seats with us? This lady doesn't really like little boys". Hubby is 6'4" and was a bit on the chunky side. She didn't say another word the rest of the trip. The upside of having to stay in the same place as the crab is that the great line you could have delivered if you thought about it ACTUALLY COMES TO YOU SO YOU CAN! LOL!

8 moms found this helpful

Don't worry about the old woman (notice I didn't use "Lady".).

Her water glass is almost empty. Your apologizing was sufficient. If you were sitting beside me, I might have been upset too, but I realise your kids were normal and I would have asked if I could have been of service to you.

Don't worry about it. She is the moldy apple in the barrel.

Good luck to you and yours.

7 moms found this helpful

Sorry this happened to you. I understand, every time I take my toddler on the plane I inwardly cringe. Luckily we only had one instance where she was super crabby, and she SCREAMED, for twenty minutes straight. I thought I was going to die. Luckily most people were ok with it, I only had one guy give us a dirty look and at that point was so frustrated I was almost willing him to say something, so I could vent some frustration onto him. :) Bottom line is most people are understanding. If they aren't, well that's their problem. Honestly, you are probably never going to see them again, so don't sweat it to much.

7 moms found this helpful

Yes, it's true, mean people suck. What a terrible woman, teaching her kids how to be nasty to other mothers. I probably would have mouthed off and said something like, "It's obviously been a looong time since you've had small children. A little support from another mother would have made this experience less horrifying for me; hopefully you'll never treat your future grandbabies this way!"

Alas, you just get back on the saddle and carry on. Don't worry about it any further and Good luck!

7 moms found this helpful

She's going to be a horrible grandmother!

My advice to you is to just keep your head up and take your babies anywhere you want! Someone told me once to just pretend we are in a bubble when we go out and anyone outside that bubble will just disappear! I know it sounds strange, but really, when you focus on those that matter, the mean people just disappear!

4 moms found this helpful

That woman has serious issues. Please, don't let her ruin your life. You go and enjoy doing things. Some people are just not reasonable. It sounds like she hates children and has no patience. You, on the other hand, sound like you are considerate, loving, and caring for others. Your family is blessed to have you. Go live. But not in fear of others. Things like rides are not life-impacting. Seriously. She needs to get over herself.

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GET MAD AT THIS WOMAN!!! That's how you shake this feeling. Truly, she traumatized you.

You are a lovely lady. You care about the people around you. You apologized. I'd be proud to sit beside you. You did nothing wrong. People like this woman will be a horrible grandmother, and those teens who heard her say that will find themselves hating the way she treats their children.

As long as you are one of the responsible parents who don't allow your kids to run around restaurants, scream at the top of their lungs in stores without taking them out, and give into every desire they have so that they scream for more, you don't have to worry about you being a bad person. As far as being afraid to take them out in public, you HAVE to take them out in order for them to LEARN how to act.

Believe me, we've all been there. Just don't let her make you feel bad. She is the one at fault.

D.

4 moms found this helpful

Pity her, absolutely, and anyone else who would react to poorly. How sad her life must be, how awful it must be to be inside her skin, so angry at others. Poor her.

Focus instead on all the lovely ones, because they are out there too. Like some of the times I was traveling on a plane with my two kids under 3, by myself and juggling their needs. One woman met me at the end of the jetway with a luggage cart, and one flight attendant cleaned up after my daughter peed on the seat without batting an eye or showing an ounce of frustration. There are nice, accommodating people everywhere, focus on THEM instead and don't let the sad miserable ones scare you out of public.

4 moms found this helpful

I think you are very careful with your choices. I bet your husband realized that maybe that adventure was just not the best choice.

My husband and I were married for 10 years before we had our daughter. We loved going to movies, book stores, really nice restaurants. Once I realized I was pregnant, we started appreciating the things we would not be able to do for a while, if our daughter was with us.

We gladly put off these things until she was old enough to understand, to use inside voices and to use her words.

Instead we enjoyed a lot more "outdoor fairs" , Renting a lot more DVD's, Eating at more family friendly venues, And making sure our daughter was able to stay on her schedule to have the best results. And we only had 1 child.. so I can imagine with 2 it is double the excitement for you guys..

You did your best in that situation, who could have known the kids would become frightened? You did not plan this, just learn from it and move on.. The woman, needed to up her medication and calm down.

I will now wish a curse on her. "May her privates become inflamed and weepy."

I try to not become irritated by these situations, but if the parent just sits there and ignores the child, I am not pleased, but sounds like you were trying to calm the children down.

I honestly have actually asked if the parents would like for me to help them find the item in the bag or stroller they are searching for. I calmly tell them "it is ok, that everything is going to be all right".

4 moms found this helpful

I know it's hard, but don't let 1 cranky bee-otch ruin your outside time with your babies. If the places you go are kid friendly or public, 99.9% of the people will not get annoyed about things. You're doing fine, just keep talking to yourself till you get past it.

4 moms found this helpful

Don't let that one crazy lady's experience set your expectations. If someone else treats you this way, just roll your eyes and keep going.

I took my 3 month old to see Lord of The Rings. Before the movie started, a few people tried to get me kicked out. I (discreetly) nursed him to sleep anytime he made a slight peep. After the movie, the people apologized and said the teens and some adults in the audience were more disruptive than my baby.

It's not like you are taking the babies to an upscale restaurant and letting them wreck havoc on the world.

4 moms found this helpful

Dont let it get to you. I have 1yr old twins, and I dont take them any where that would be unreasonable for a small child ( like the movies, bars or restaurants that cost more than $20 to feed a family of 4) A few months ago I had a woman at village inn insist on moving as soon as we were seated so that her lunch wasnt ruined by brats.... At the time I was fuming and I let it get to me and than some fantastic moms on this site gave me some great advice about how to let it go. And now I dont let other peoples rudness get to me when it envolves my kids not being perfect quiet clean neat little people ( which they NEVER are) & I love that they are noisy & messy, that they throw food and screech like wild banchees. Take them out and enjoy it.

3 moms found this helpful

I was nervous like you too, cause when I was a teenage my OWN mother was this way to other peoples kids. It was so horrifying to watch her act this way in public. I loved my mom (deceased now) so much but I would become offended and angry with her for acting out on other peoples children. Reminding her more than once she had 4 "brats" of her own. NOW my older sister has this attitude, and she even goes off on my kids. She has one, and that ONE child could do more screaming and ranting than 5 combined, do you think it stops my sister from being rude to other parents? nah. It is totally just that persons personality. NOTHING to do with your sweeties. If that happens around me I tend to help the mom if she lets me. I will talk to the crying babies and try to give what they need if i have it. I have infinant patients.

3 moms found this helpful

I love all the responses and didn't want to add to it, but I just had to because my 19 month old is very difficult to take out. When we do, he acts up. Anyway, my point is I USE TO feel badly and will still get stares... basically, like the other mommies said - I just ignore them now. I know I am extremely considerate and the minute my son acts up, we leave (if we can). I try to take him only to kid-friendly places and unfortunately it doesn't all work out. One mom said it the best - gather your feelings on this one so that the next time it happens, you can release your Momma Bear. You do Great and 20 minutes sitting still for your twins is Great.

3 moms found this helpful

Whoo, Mama. First thing I'd do is thank my lucky stars I'm not related to that woman. Can you imagine her poor family?!? Yuck.

Second thing I'd do is go back out whenever the urge strikes. Sure, I'd probably be hesitant, too, but not going out is tantamount to saying she was right. She was not right. Is it hard and sometimes annoying to hear someone else's kids cry for 10 minutes? Yes. But they are *little* kids. Toddlers! That woman was well beyond the limits of reason. That she let herself go like that shouldn't stop you from letting your sons experience the world.

Hugs.

3 moms found this helpful

First off - you did nothing wrong! If I'd been there I would have told that woman off for being so rude! If the teens with her were really her kids, I'm sure they cried in public as babies! My experience is that loving mothers will ALWAYS feel like ripping the throat out of anyone who talks badly about our kids and / or parenting skills. Even worse someone who hurts our precious offspring either physically or emotionally! Unfortunately we can't be around them 24/7 and the truth is that there are lots of mean people out there. The best thing you can do is to expose your kids to as much as possible - the good and the bad - and model for them the way to overcome adversity and / or "bad" feelings. My 2 are now 18 and 15 years old respectively and it's often hard for me to let them fight their own battles, but I have to! Bottom line, we're our kids' "safety net" - we must let them fly, but must also be ready to catch them if they "slip"! God Bless :)

3 moms found this helpful

Chances are, the woman next to you isn't happy about a lot of things! I've found people so often just aren't happy anymore-some because life has been hard for them, and some because they're spoiled and don't consider what a situation is really about (a lot of us learn the difference between a spoiled baby and a scared baby with time).
Not to mention, many people find twins fascinating! I know I do! You are part of society too-and I'm sure more people would be delighted in seeing more of you! =)

2 moms found this helpful

I have some meta physical exercises you could try .. . first, pray. Ask for help from the great creator of the universe to heal and calm your soul.

Then imagine that you are stepping into a giant tea strainer and pull it up through your body - as it passess through you, allow it to take away all the debris and detritus and negativity that is blocking the healing, loving flow of energy that comes to you from the unverse. Do it several times, until you feel better.

Another is to imagine the woman, and ask for help to release her from your life - say "I release you, I release you . . ." you don't have to forgive her, but if you want to try to that might help. But you can also imagine that you have a pair of blessed scissors that you can cut all ties with the experience you had with her, releasing you both, so you can be free of the negativity.

And lastly - when you leave the house, imagine that your family is enclosed in a great white bubble of God's strongest and most protective light.

Hope some of this helps . . .

2 moms found this helpful

She was an unhappy old bat. I'm guessing she probably has that attitude all of the time.

Now, I probably wouldn't have taken a baby on a ride like that, but that's me.

In any event, don't let it affect what you do & how you live your life.

2 moms found this helpful

yes, people can be very mean. What I did was learn to not care what others say without being rude or letting my kids be brats, which your babies were not. Just think that some people are just ignorant and there is nothing you can do about it, just let them be and don't let it get to you. They are one year old, the lady is crazy. You did nothing wrong and neither did your kids. Good luck! don't let those things keep you from living your life.

1 mom found this helpful

She sounds like the one with the problem. What a jerk for acting like she did. I bet her teenage kids were embarrassed as heck, or if not, they are a package deal. Don't you worry about a thing. Anybody who acts like that is not sane. No compassion at all. I hope other passengers acted better. Anybody knows you can't immeadiatly control a scarred baby, just try to soothe them the best you can, Dad takes one, mom takes, the other, coos, distracts, and try to ignore idiots like that. I'm so mad I can't even spell properly. I hate mean people and I hope it doesn't ruin your chances of going out again and trying again. You're doing a great job, and keep up the good work!! She's probably jealout that her two are nasty fighters or something! God bless!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hello, People like that woman should stay home and hide. You, your husband and your sweet babies were not the problem. There are going to be rude people sometimes. All you can do (if they are being rude to you) is either ignore them or apologize for their discomfort. Beyond that, just enjoy your time. It is important that we (I am a grandma) take our children and grandchildren out in public so that they become used to it and are comfortable around other people. What I wouldn't allow is someone to be rude to my child or grandchild. Whenever I see a child upset in public, I have to think to myself, "I've been there." It isn't my problem to fix. I do feel bad for her kids. She is either teaching them to be just as intolerant as her, or she is embarrassing the Hell out of them.
Good luck with your precious babies.
K. K.

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WOW! I feel horrible for you and especially those two teens. What a mom to put up with. It's hard to deal with people and situations like that. I must say that is probably much more extreem than I or any one I know has ever went thru. The best thing that I can tell you is just raise your children to the way you want them to be and forget every one else. It is actually very important that your do. First, If you keep them from going with you into public, they won't learn how to act in public. (However, you should train them at home first. Like if you let them throw things on the floor at home, they will do it in public.) I know a few moms with children between 3 and 6 who will take their children to grandparents house just so they can go to the grocery store rather than teach their children how to act properly.
Second, and other the other hand. They are still children. And you will come to find out that there are ALLOT of adult bullies who love to make some comment to you or even straight to your children to make you feel bad and them feel better. You have to be to a point to be able to stick up for your children if they make comments to them or totally ignore what they say. This is important because there have been times that we have been out with other family members and other people and someone else will make some comment about how my children are behaving. Now, they are not acting bad at all, not hurting anyone, not being too loud, and quite frankly being great kids, but we have run across an adult bully. The kids grandparents would then start to get onto my kids, even though they are not doing anything wrong at all. The grandparents just assume that if someone else says that they are doing something wrong, then they must be.
You must just realize that if someone is to get upset like that, if you were on that ride she would have been mad that the ride was too bumpy, or anything she could come up with to complain about.

1 mom found this helpful

Wow - I'm very surprised that someone who has kids would be so heartless. I guess she has conveniently forgotten what it's like to have infants.

Honestly, reading your post, I felt really sorry for the lady. Can you imagine how negative her life must be for her to react in such an extreme way to something as innocent and ubiquitous as a baby crying? I feel bad for her. Maybe her teenagers were tap dancing on her last nerve before they got on the ride. ;-)

I feel bad for you, too, that you had to encounter her that day. Please don't let her negativity keep you from giving your precious babies new experiences. They have just as much right to be out in the world as everyone else.

Best of luck to you all!!

If I had been there I would have told the lady to shut up for you! Stuff like that makes me SO MAD!

This makes me think of yesterday. I was with my husband at the doctor's office. We were sittng in the waiting room and a lady with two little kids comes in. The kids go off to the "kid corner" which is right next to where we are sitting. The kids sit down at the table, and the older child (girl) gets out a book an proceeds to 'read' aloud to the younger one (boy). It was a tad loud as some kids can be because they just dont realize how loud they are talking. MOther says "shh quieter" . SHe got a little quieter but not a lot. I thought it was really cute and was listening to her make up the story from the pictures (she was really good at it too) and her little brother repeating her. They arent hollering just talking kind of loud. We get called back and as soon as we are alone my husband says "That woman needs to take her little brats home if they cannot act right in public!" and he was actually mad! I thought he was crazy! He was a nazi with our ownn kids too. They were not allowed to make a soud in public.