How to Deal with Easily Offended People?

Updated on September 01, 2009
S.L. asks from Lakeside, CA
6 answers

As a daycare provider, I spend a great deal of my down time talking with other providers online all over the world. I enjoy hearing what is happening with them and comparing notes. It's a great way to get ideas and sometimes to just not feel alone.

My problem is that most people I deal with are much younger and much less experienced than I am. I don't have issues with telling them how to care for the children. We usually see eye to eye on the day to day dealings with the children. But I am finding that younger providers are so selfish with their daycare parents. It gets so annoying to see them complaining about things that are clearly so selfish. For instance, a parent has a car in the shop for a repair that will take the week. They have to drive a rental and their job does not provide temporary parking passes. They have to walk to and from work a few blocks and need to pick up a little late for a week. The provider goes onto the group to complain that the parent is taking advantage of them and the other providers tell her to stand her ground and tell the parent it's not her problem and they must pick up on time. I stick up for the parents and advise them not to burn the parent or they might lose the parent.

No matter how these people feel about their rights and the fact that they don't want to be taken advantage of, I've been doing this 23 years. I know what types of things will send a parent running into the night! But when I try and stick up for parents in various situations, these people always say I am slamming them. I may not be all that good at sugar coating things. But I really do have their best interests at heart. These same people will come on and complain about the parents leaving their care and how broke they are because of it!

Does anyone else besides me have a hard time doling out advice without stepping on so many toes? I really despise dealing with people that are easily offended. It seems to me that being easily offended is a character flaw.

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answers from Topeka on

You say that you have trouble "sugar coating things" could be that the way you are phrasing things comes across as a little more harsh or judgemental that you mean for it to. I am not saying that it is all YOUR fault, but especially when you are dealing with just the written word and don't have tone of voice or facial expressions to help out, it is easy to mis-interpret what someone is meaning online.
I do agree with you that your years of experience ( and the generation that you come from) might have a lot to do with your perception of things!! I cannot imagine someone who truly cares for the people they are working with, complaining because someone is a few minutes late because of a temporary problem that is out of their control!! If it was a habitual thing, with no logical reason behind it, then you could see that they would have a reason to be upset.
As to the easily offended people...don't let it worry you too much, handle it the same way that you would handle someone in "real life" that is easily offended...apologize and move on.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

I would say to them in this economy you better appreciate those who butter your bread and if you think there won't be ten more providers in due time to take up the slack your kidding yourself. Everyone is replaceable. Lots of folks are losing jobs and they will start watching kids. So watch out you better be good because your rates will go down in a really bad economy or you won't work.


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Personally I wouldn't care lol. I never sugar coat anything and am blunt and to the point. I've told many people if you can't handle it don't bother talking to me.

If they can not appreciate your experience in daycare then it is their own fault. Honestly sounds to me like you need to get out in person a little. But I do agree that if you don't make acomendations for some situations then you won't get more business and then your screwed. guess all the younger generations will just have to learn that.(I am from a younger generation and my own generation makes me cringe half the time) so the only advice I truly have is either don't talk to them or tell them to grow up.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Joseph on

Honestly S., it's just like this message board...if you didn't want my opinion don't ask for it! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you are giving them yours along with a different and more seasoned wisdom. Their failure to listen to you is not your's the parents problem and soon it will be their problem because the parents will pull out from that daycare provider for being difficult to work with.

Keep on being you and don't sugar coat it...this society has been fed too much sugar coating and look how many diabetics it's produced! LOL...nope, you just tell it like it day, they may come back to you and say, "you know, you were right!"

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Ha ha, Ya me!! I step on toes all the time, mainly because I don't sugar coat much and don't believe much of the malarkey out there. I've offended several (just on here), because I like to tell people (usually in a nice way) to just get over things and not dwell on little mishaps life tosses your way. I've been accused of(and don't deny it)that I'm black and white and that "life just isn't that way". Well, if you want to be a drama queen, then life can be pretty grey. If you want to be easy going and not freak out about everything, and have a normal life, then life is black and white. My suggestion is, to just not answer these people(it's sometimes hard to bite your tongue, I know!)or just don't check the message boards anymore. We live in a very pc world now, where everyone is afraid to say what they think(or even think at all), because they just don't want to offend anyone.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Hey S. what ever happened to "If you don't want my opion don't ask for it"
Like you said these are younger providers give them some time they will get the idea sooner or later.
In the same boat.

1 mom found this helpful

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