How to Deal with "Bullies" at School - 2Nd Grade :(

Updated on October 10, 2009
L.B. asks from Billerica, MA
6 answers

My daughter is in the 2nd grade. She told me a girl punched her in the stomach yesterday. When I asked her how she responded she said, "I just walked away." When I asked her why she didn't tell the teacher she explained to me that she doesn't like to be pulled out of the classroom. I guess a few months back a girl was kicking her, and when my daughter told the teacher, she was pulled out of the classroom so that the teacher could hear both sides of the story. I guess my daughter is so embarassed by being pulled out of the classroom that she won't tell on anyone if they hurt or harm her. How do I deal with this? Do I encourage her to tell on the other child, or do I let her handle it her own way. My daughter is very quiet and not agressive in any way. I just wish she would stick up for herself. Obviously, I would NEVER encourage her to hit back, but I want her to also realize that NOBODY should be hitting, kicking, punching her at school and this is totally unacceptable behavior. Any advice is appreciated! Thanks

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

Since you are only hearing one side of the story be careful to not make to many assumptions. Often parents step in way to quickly and do not allow their children to "handle" their own affairs. Believe me, there is always more sides to a story. Let your child work it out. Trust that the teacher will handle it. By stepping in, you are telling your daughter that she is not able to handle the situation, you are expressing doubt in the teacher's ability to teach and deal with issues that may arise. I have been a teacher and a substitute. Believe me, teachers see a lot. Other students see a lot too. Very few situations slip by students and teachers. Your daughter has to grow up and learn to deal with the real world. There will always be bullies. If you continue to take care of the situation you are not teaching your child to live in the real world. No one likes for their child to be hurt or mistreated. But what will you do when your child is grown and still facing the bullies? Are you going to go to their work place and tell the boss?

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C.T.

answers from Bangor on

Sadly, my son came home a couple of months ago and told me that *he* punched a boy in the stomach. When I dug deeper, this kid was verbally bullying him because of his size (he's quite small), and he had enough and punched him in the stomach.

I talked to my son, reminded him that we don't hit and it's not right, and *I* contacted the school to report it. They had no idea. If all parents involved would step up, maybe we could help the situation get better. Sometimes teachers just don't know and we need to tell them. Also, let your child's teacher know how uncomfortable she is with being pulled out of the classroom and the effect it had... again - knowledge is the key to make everything work. :D Good luck and hope it gets better.

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R.L.

answers from Boston on

A second grader shouldn't have the pressure to have to tell, be pulled out and chastized for it all again. Mom, you are his voice until They can do it which professionals don't believe some kids can do it until high school. Hence, that is why middle school is so difficult too. Report it and ask what the procedures to deal with it will take place. Tell your son what you did and reassure him that you are in his side.
Hugs to him!

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L.L.

answers from Boston on

Well I am dealing with the same type of problem at school with bully's with my 2nd grader as well......All i do is tell me son that no one has a right to hit him and i tell him he needs to tell a teacher, he tells me that the kids call him a tatle tail, so I went to the school and spoke to the teacher my self so nothing was put on my son and the teacher addressed the hole classroom and since then things have gotten a little better

L. L

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A.B.

answers from Boston on

I would absolutely step in. If she won't do it, then you should. Schools want to be safe places for all their children and they may not know the offending child is hitting others. Perhaps you can talk to her teacher and ask her to deal with it in a way that won't draw attention to your daughter. like at a recess or lunch so the other classmates are not watching. Don't let it go unaddressed. Bullies will only get worse as they get older unless they are put in their place early on!

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J.Z.

answers from Boston on

this is such a "tough" subject...no pun intended.=]

i feel the teachers have enough on their plates without having to scold kids for bringing their own problems to school. thats where it all starts from...home.

soooooo, with that. I FEEL, the teacher should just call the parents...both sets and have a meeting.

I would want that....if my children were getting harassed, I would want to meet the parents of the bullies...the parents say a lot about their child!!

good luck, my dear. its so sad that this still goes on in school!! kids will be kids...parents need to get involved.

I found from past experiences....if the bully sees that someone really cares about the child [he or she is picking on] sometimes they back off.....they look at the kid as a person, not just someone to pick on.

maybe i just lucked out...but i went straight to the principal...and asked them just to handle the situation very delicately.

also L., another thing that worked was, going into the class and volunteering for say, library....that worked for me too. and i really payed A LOT of attention to the bully!! ya know, eye to eye contact!!!!

gave him what he deserved!! a little scare to him!! all in good taste, ladies!! trust me, i am not a bully myself...

just a bear when it comes to my babies!! hee hee

just a thought....good luck sweetie!!

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