How to Choose the Right Dog?

Updated on March 18, 2012
M.P. asks from De Pere, WI
23 answers

Due to sudden illness, we had our dog euthanized in October. She was not even 3...illness was some type of "ideopathic neuropathy" that was causing megaesophagus and then lead to her back end not working - at the end she really couldn't walk and did more of a "bunny hop" but could only go a couple of feet before stopping to rest. It broke our hearts :-(

We are getting to the point where we have decided to add a new four legged furbaby to our family and I am looking for tips on how to choose the right one. We will be adopting from the Humane Society or similar rescue, not a breeder. We have a 21mo old son. We have been taking him to our local PetSmart where they hold/adopt out dogs from our local Humane Society to get him introduced to dogs/puppies - he was just starting to get interested in Kona when she got sick.

My question for all of you is - how do we go about choosing the right dog for our family? Eventually we will have more kids, but that is another year or two down the road. I am on the fence of whether to get a puppy or an adult dog. I am nervous about bringing an adult dog, who's past/personality we don't know into our house with a toddler. I know they test dogs for their behavior/temperament and say they are good with kids or not, but I need a dog that will tolerate a toddler's antics all day long. This is why I am leaning toward a puppy - who will "grow up" used to our son...but am I insane for adding the responsibility of a puppy on top of a toddler?? I am a stay-home-mom so I have the time to train a puppy, but I still know it is a lot of work. Any tips on how to choose the right dog? Any training tips? I have been there/done that once, but there wasn't a toddler in tow then...we just miss having a 4legged friend around the house. :-/ Thanks, in advance, for reading :-)

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

You, the Man and the kid all go to the pound together and take a look...ask to take him out for a stroll and a one on one....

You will just know it!

~Yeah, I think you are a bit crazy for adding a dog when you have such a small child but if you think you have the time and energy, go for it!

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Poor doggy :( I'm sorry to hear that!

Our dog chose US. My husband and I went to the Richmond SPCA 'just to look'... and out of all the dogs, there was one we kept going back to. So we asked to have a one on one with him (they have private rooms for that).

He humped my husband's leg. I was sold.

So we took him home. STUPID! The kids weren't there that weekend, we should have brought them with us! BUT... it all turned out well, our dog River loooooves his children and he is the best. dog. EVER.

But still, he chose us, not the other way around. Once you find 'your dog', you'll know :)

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A.R.

answers from Houston on

I don't have any specific advice but I vote for an adult dog. Shelters and rescue groups are inundated with older dogs (4 yrs +). That age bracket and on into senior years is simply less desirable because they aren't puppies. Our rescue Pug is wonderful, though. She's calm and totally housebroken. She has never given us one single problem and she's a puppy mill breeder so a less than stellar start to life. We joke we doubled her age when we took her to our vet. The rescue group estimated her age at 5 but the vet said no way. 10 was more like it. We may have fewer years with her but she's amazingly calm and happy go lucky. We're making darn sure her golden years are extraordinary by showering her with endless love and affection. Also she's fantastic with our 14 month old. He sits next to her in her bed and "pets" her. It's more of a Neanderthal thunking but she just takes it in stride. Our baby is very much her baby. She's just learned to watch his overzealous affections. Good luck in your dog hunt.

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Your 21-month-year old kid is face-level with most dogs and therefore will be perceived as a threat in the dog world. Can you wait until your son is older? Properly raising a puppy IS as much work as having another child.

Once again, I must remind people that nearly ALL dogs that come from the Humane Society and rescue shelters have originated from unregulated backyard breeders and puppy mills. So while it "feels good" to adopt these animals, remember that you're spinning the roulette wheel. Yes- you can get lucky with a good dog. But it's equally as likely that you'll adopt some expensive genetic defects and behavior problems. In my opinion, "adopting" dogs supports puppy mills.

Staff at those chain pet stores are not breed experts. Their staff work for a little more than minimum wage and usually have no experience on farms/kennels or have any specialized training on animals. On the other hand, breeders who are conscientious enough to register with the AKC are regulated and do have to go through a bit of training.

Research on www.akc.org. Notice, this is a dot-org that wants to educate, not a dot-com that wants to sell you something. I know you’ll end up buying from where you want. I’m just advising that buying from an AKC breeder usually costs the same as adopting from a shelter. A good breeder won’t even sell you a dog if they think your family isn’t ready for one.

A final beware: My gentle 5-year-old son was viciously bitten in the head (6 stitches) by a rescue dog (listed on PetFinder) who was supposedly "good with children" according to the pet store staffer holding the leash (I'm not allowed to say the name of the chain store due to the lawsuit). However, I love dogs as much as the next person, and continue to do so!

(EDITED ANSWER for Katherine R and others). It's sad in this economy when families have to give away their pets. I sympathize. If these families had bought from a breeder, the AKC sales contract would require the pet owner to contact the breeder to take the dog back and re-home it. Under no circumstances would an AKC breeder allow their dog to end up in a shelter. So obviously, no shelter dogs came from an AKC breeder. Instead shelter dogs all ORIGINATED from puppy mills and backyard breeders. Not judging. Just saying.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

Puppies are like toddlers. There is no really telling what the temperment of the dog will be with your toddler as both the child and the dog age.

I would prefer an older dog even if I didn't know the background because at least they may be house trained already. Our dog is a great case from the pound. It has since become obvious to us that he was abused at his former home but he is a great dog. They claimed he was 1 year old when we got him. I'm thinking that he was probably a little older but fine.

He's a great dog. I wouldn't trade him for a pound puppy for all the money in the world.

Good luck an choosing the perfect dog for your family.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

One thing with a puppy and toddlers is all the nipping puppies do is tough. A friend said she had to keep her daughter and puppy away from each other a ton. Our neighbors got a puppy too and she's adorable and all the kids are older but the puppy jumps, wants to bite a lot so it's not ideal. We adopted from a rescue society and they were so good about judging temperment. They foster the dogs so it's not a quick look at a dog. They have them for awhile and turned us down on certain dogs that looked good on the website when I said we had young kids. A dog who is a year or 2 likely will adapt to a toddler easily but be past a lot of the training issues. Labs of course are good with kids.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

I'd call a rescue group and talk with them about your family and how your day usually goes. Then they can look at the dogs they have available to get a good fit for your family. Don't set in you mind that you want a particular breed. If you let the rescue group know what your household personality is, the activity level in your house, how much time is spent outside, etc. they'll be able to match a dog to you.

As far as getting a puppy with a toddler? If I were in that position I'd probably get a young dog instead of a puppy unless you have the time and resources to take the dog through formal training.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Personally I go for the older dogs. Not real old, but at least 3 years old. At 3 they are out of the puppy stage, have matured so they are usually good with kids, and still have the desire to run and play like a puppy.

As for choosing the right one, I go and look at the dogs. I have chosen 2 from the Humane Society and they have both been wonderful. I chose them because I felt an instant connection with them.

My hubby and I also had to put our dogs down about 1 and 2 years ago. We are talking about another one and I have told hubby and I want to pick the dog. It has to be a dog I have an instant connection with.

Enjoy your new family member!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

The amount of time you have to invest in daily activity would be a starting point.

We have a labradoodle & an Old English Sheepdog mix. They both avg about 80lbs & are about 3 years apart in age. They wear each other out every single day....which cuts down on the daily walks. But they do require regular attention or they become destructive. & I really don't blame them!

This winter was a challenge for them. The neighbors next to us moved away....& the neighbors behind us went to FL for the season. No doggie friends left to run with....& it created some very bored dogs for us! They required a lot more attention than normal....

Since you've been a dog owner before, you know what size & temperament you're comfortable with. From there, start visiting the shelters (or checking online). I found our labradoodle at the end of WalMart's parking lot....& found our other dog online in the local ads. I was happy!! to pay only $25 for each of them! OH, & the OES mix came from the rescue unit for that breed.

As for your toddler, train both your child & your dog/pup to treat each other with respect & all will be well. I hate seeing parents allow their child to be physically abusive - pulling ears/tails, etc.

& the only training tip I have is to be consistent with potty training. I find that using a crate overnight & for naptimes is great. & I abhor training pads.....I do not understand the concept of wanting to train your dog to go in the house! :)

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I would suggest a 1 or 2 year old dog, It'd be fully grown by then and with luck, already house broken. With a dog that age it should still be very playful and trainable. I would suggest a medium sized dog or larger. Something rugged because your son's going to take some time to train too. You also want a breed (if you can manage) that is very tolerant and passive, water dogs are great, Labs, Retrievers, Newfoundlands. They are bred for soft mouths (to handle birds) and are fetchers not hunters. Tracking dogs might be good too, they're bred to be calm and watchful. Herders are good too, but they might herd your son or other pets around with their mouths (no bite, but a slimy hold). These breeds are usually healthy, strong and smart. There might be breed rescues in your area too. Just a thought.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

Let's see....first off........so glad you are getting a rescue! I wanted a small dog....and the only thing I was for sure of....I didn't want it to shed. After getting a Yorkshire Terrier and loving him for almost 14 years....in hind sight....if I had to do it all over again....I would not get a dog with long hair...or one that hair grows out of his ears....a slick dog is what I'd get. So much grooming, and if you don't brush...they get matted...and the hair coming out of the ears promotes ear infections.Of course get a puppy....easier to house train....but then again...the ones older are so in need of a loving family....and don't have a good chance of being adopted....I can 't even stand to see them in cages. Whatever you do....good luck!!!

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F.M.

answers from Lincoln on

What i would do is research online the type of breed you are looking at. Check to see how much maintenance the dog will need. Check to see about health problems and how temperment with children is. Dogs 101 is a good website to go to. Honestly, I would not adopt a rescued adult dog if you have children. What if that dog was abused? What if the dog was never around children? I would totally get the dog as a puppy if they are good with children that way they can grow up with your babies and know that being around kids is ok. good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Furry friends are are such a wonderful addition to our families!

One thing to consder is how much time do you have to exercise the dog... make sure you don't get a dog that needs a lot of exercise if you don't have time for it.... that will be trouble, regardless if you get a puppy or an adult dog.

If you have a breed in mind, there are often rescue organizations for that breed...for example we have Rescue a Golden of MN for Golden Retrievers and there I know of another organization for Greyhounds.

I had to put our dog to sleep when my daughter was about 18 months. We adopted a golden retriever a few months later but she found us (sort of) her owner died and a mutual friend asked if we were interested.

Children and dogs always need to be watched - certainly you want to know as much as possible and see if the dog seems skittish and work with your son about proper behavior. Early on, my daughter wasn't allowed near the dog when food was around or when she had a treat/bone... now it isn't an issue.....

My last 2 dogs have been adopted 'older' dogs.... and both of them have been fantastic. The dog we had before our current was a stray, so I knew little about him, but he had the most wonderful personality.

Also, keep in mind, with the current economy, not all dogs in shelters come from unknown backgrounds, they are given up because their families can't afford them or lost their home.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

First of all, what we did was familiarize ourselves with dog breeds and ones we like or felt comfortable with (most "family type" dogs, and sporting dog breeds, size medium to large, but specifically Labs, Boxers, Schnauzers, GSD, Retrievers, etc.) and ones that we did not (for us, those would be Rottweilers *, Dobermans *, Pit Bulls *, Chows, Shar Peis, small/toy dogs in general). Find out about the basic temparements of the breeds. (* our home owner insurance said they would raise our rates if we got one of these breeds, and in the case of Pitt Bulls, they would cancel our insurance if we got one... you might want to check with your homeowner's ins. about this.)

Then, keeping that in mind, we did some research and found out that a mutt generally will behave like what it looks like, i.e.: a mutt that looks like a Lab or like it has a lot of Lab in it, will act more like a Lab than anything else.

Then, finally, we read up on temperament testing. Here is a good place to start, with some excellent links for more info at the bottom of the article.
http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Temperament.php

D.B.

answers from Boston on

We just got a rescue dog after 18 months of misery and mourning after losing our cairn terrier of almost 14 years. We went to the local humane society (they put profiles of their dogs in the local paper) and wound up with a wonderful non-shedding dog (part Cairn, part affenpinscher, part who-knows-what). A real love-bug sort of lap dog but she had some food aggression - but it only took 10 days of training to break her of that. The shelter chose us because we know terrier temperaments, and figured we could handle a dog who'd been given up several times before. We liked that she was 18 months and had a general understanding of housebreaking (she still had to figure out which door we used, but that was it, only a few accidents) and we knew how big she was going to be. Most of the chewing stuff was over, and she could go all night without going outside.

Advice we got: give a treat when the dog goes to the door, make her sit/stay before getting her dinner (so she knows you're the boss), definitely use a crate so she has a safe place to sleep (really important when you have a child who can be a little too much with a dog), and have a dog who can deal with a child being too touchy-feeling.

Go to a shelter that has good background info on their dogs, and will match one that is good with toddlers. A long application shows a shelter cares. A one-year-old dog is not too old for a toddler. A puppy can be a hassle, and you don't have any extra guarantees that make it important to start so young.

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

How long do you think it will be until you want to get pregnant with #2??? That would be the deciding factor for me. If you have more than a year before getting preg with #2, then I would get a puppy. You would have at least a year to train them and then the puppy would be at least almost 2 when your #2 was born. You can totally handle a toddler and a puppy :) Just go for lots of walks!!! And really consider spending the money on obedience class - at least a few!

I love labs :)

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S.E.

answers from New York on

before i got pregnant my fiance and i were going to get a puppy theres quizzes u can do online about breed selection.. animal planet.com has a pretty good one.. they ask things like what size dog do u want how much time do u have to devote to the dog how old are your kids, things like that and then it gives u the best breed for your individual situation.. theres tons of these quizzes out there try a couple.. just type in the search box what breed of dog is right for me

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

When my 14 year old American Staffordshire Terrier passed away, (DEVASTATING time) my son was only 1... We waited 8 months to get another one and researched.. I knew I "didn't" want a puppy because of all the responsibilities of raising one, but I wanted to make sure the dog I got was 110% okay with my son and cat.... I looked on many rescue sites and found a dog that was being fostered in a home with other dogs, and small children...We also wanted a dog that was about 2-3 years old and potty trained (I didn't want to go through the potty training and puppy teething stage with my son being so young) We met the dog at her foster house, we would take food from her bowl while she was right there (to make sure she wasn't food aggressive, especially around a toddler).. We fostered her to "make sure" she was the right fit for our home.. It worked out perfectly!!!
I LOVE puppies, but I don't want to have to train them and deal with the "puppy phase"... I highly recommend adopting from a local rescue, where the dog is being fostered.. That way, the foster mom knows that dogs personality...
GOOD LUCK!

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K.L.

answers from Chicago on

If you have the time then I say go for a puppy. There is a great website, some breeders, petstores and shelters give it to you free, otherwise is $5 a month but its great!
www.Mypettrainer.com
You can look up anything, watch videos, ask questions and it will help you learn everything you need to about your new puppy.
I think that you will just have to interact with the dogs and let your son interact with them as well. I strongly believe that you will know when you find the right dog for you :-) Dont just take the first one you see or play with though, make sure you get the feel for what each dog is like. You may go back to the first and realize it was for you but take your time. Good luck!!

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F.B.

answers from New York on

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your pet, and applaud you for thinking of a shelter dog. Speak with the shelter, see if you can "test drive" the dog for a week or two. Maybe an adolescent is a good choice for you, a dog which is out of the puppy phase, but still relatively young.

Many others have already said it, I think you should go with an open mind, and look for signs that the right dog has chosen you.

I went into the shelter looking for a medium beige dog (beagle, sheperd, wheat terrier mix), I ended up with an 80lb BLACK lab/terrier mix, and couldn't be happier. She came out of the kennel, sat at my feet and licked my hand.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I would get an adult. As you said, they have a past and a personality, and a good rescue knows that, so they will have a better chance matching the dog's personality to your family. Puppies haven't completely developed their personality, and they also nip and jump, which can be terrifying for a small child. Go to Petsmart, go on petfinder.com, and let the rescues know that you have small children and need a calm and gentle and tolerant dog. Then go meet the dog (with your child). Watch the interactions. Get a feel for the dog. I have rescued all 3 of mine, and two were adults when we rescued them. Adults are more predictable in many ways. Good luck.

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

We have a dog that we got at 4 1/2 months and so he was still a puppy but house broken and that would cut out all that work doing the training for that. The other issues depend on the dog, like chewing on things and making extra messes. Our dog was VERY good and didn't chew anything but his toys at that age so it was perfect for us. Our dog we had for 17 years was 20 months old when we got her and she also was house broken and very obedient and good with the kids. Both of these are Poodles. The miniature would come get me when one of the babies cried, sat by them like a 'mother' to them, and was very gentle with all the kids. I would think an adult dog would be set in his/her ways and harder to adjust to your family. Puppies bite, nibble, and make huge messes plus the housebreaking issue. Just find the right breed for your family and you can look online and see which ones need more exercise, which ones are hyper or not, which need a lot of care and brushing, shedding, etc. I hope you get the right one for a lifetime of loving.
http://www.iams.com/pet-health/dog-breeds?utm_source=msn&...

http://www.akc.org/future_dog_owner/find_breed.cfm

http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/search.htm

Where ever you adopt your dog from should be able to tell you what the dog is or is mixed with.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Get a lab! I am NOT a dog person, and never wanted one. However, I bought my husband a lab as his wedding gift when we got married (he's a dog fanatic) and I have been so happy.

The dog is GREAT with kids. The dog is now 4, and we have a 3 year old and and two year old. The kids climb all over the dog and he loves it. Also, when the kids play outside, the dog is always within about two yards of them. He is always watching them and if a "stranger" comes within eyesight, the dog barks his head off.

Labs are REALLY trainable - very eager to please.

I would recommend getting a mature lab (or lab mix) - one over the age of 3 - when they are "puppies" they are ALOT of work - need lots of exercise, and also chew.

Get a lab! :)

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