March 12, 2010,
D.B. asks from Oak Lawn, IL on March 10, 2010
How to Break up with Your Hair Stylist?
I need advice on how to "break up" with my hair stylist. I have been going to her for over 7 years now. I love her as a person but lately she has not been doing a good job cutting my hair. She also cuts both of my daughters hair. I had a stylist before her that I was with for 10 years. I followed her when she moved salons even though it was a distance away. I ended that relationship when she booked a Communion girl on my wedding day and just said to me "I'll find someone else to do your hair". My engagement was a year and she did not have a calendar for the following year & told me not to worry we had a year. When she finally got her calendar, she had booked a little girl for her Communion and thought it was no big deal for me to have my hair done by someone else. No loyalty on her end, which made me really sad/mad. Needless to say I found a stylist closer to home since things are so crazy the morning of the wedding. I had a closefriend at the time that went to the same girl and when it came up why I wasn't coming in any more ... she told her exactly why. Other stylists were listening and couldn't believe that she wouldn't pass the little girl on to someone else & do my hair. Whatever, doesn't matter. I did really like her ..best cuts & colors. Was always going to classes on colors and new styles. My current hairdresser has never once talked about going to classes on new styles or color treatments. Now lately my stylist seems to be very distracted. She is starting going to school to start a new career and when I asked her if I should find a new stylist she said "no way, I am still going to do hair, I need the money. I know that she is having a hard time financially, but when I am spending $40 on a hair cut I expect it to be done right. The last 3 times I have had my hair done, I have not been happy. I took my girls last week to see her and I am not happy with one of their cuts. Yes, I used my girls to see if things had gotten better. (My girls love her and she falls all over them when she sees them.) She is very distracted between boyfriend issues, money and the possible new job change. She use to color my hair as well....at almost $100 and not being happy, I started coloring my own hair and just told her that I needed to do it myself because of money (sort of true). Let's face it ,your color is never as good as when a professional stylist does your hair. My question is, do I just stop going to her without saying anything or do I let her know that I am leaving her and give her a reason why? Confrontation is not a one of my strong sides and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She is such a nice person. I would like to hear from hair stylists what they would prefer, a lady that has been a client for a long time just stop coming in or a call (or note) telling you why they won't see you any more? And no I have no back up stylist at this point . Thanks for your help!
P.K. answers from Chicago on March 11, 2010
There is no need to get caught up in your hair stylist's drama. If you do not like the job that she is doing, stop going to her. I've been in this situation a few times too and it's difficult. To save money, I stopped going to my stylist (whom I loved) and started going to the Aveda School for highlights and cuts. It was almost a relief knowing that I wouldn't have to feel guilty about quiting a stylist anymore because they change so often there. Leaving your stylist a note might be nice but in her industry, she's probably used to clients coming and going anyway.
L.C. answers from Chicago on March 11, 2010
Ive been doing nails for 18 years and ive had regulars stop coming to me a few times, mostly without explanation. It happens. Sure, i'd love to know why, it could be as simple as they dont have the money, or it could be that they dont like me anymore or want somewhere closer, etc. If you are not comfortable talking to her, then dont. Just stop going. If you do tell her, she may say she will do better next time and then if she doesnt, youre in a more akward situation. Or you could send her a note or tell her you cant afford it right now, or just stop going. She will get over it. Dont worry too much about it. It happens in that line of work.
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C.S. answers from Chicago on March 12, 2010
Look a stylist is almost as important a relationship as with one's doctor or lawyer. It is your hair, your crowning glory and a vital part of your health.You were violated in this trust so find another preferably upon recommendation and just say goodbye or say nothing at all. She will get the hint.
E.B. answers from Chicago on March 11, 2010
You have a right to be happy with your hair and hair person! They are providing a service that you are paying for and if you don't think you are getting your money's worth, you can "fire" them. It doesn't have to be a confrontational thing. I think you can tell her that since she is going to school, you want to try other stylists just in case she quits and then just stay with whoever you find that you like. Once you find someone else, send her a nice note thanking her for the years she did your hair.
N.L. answers from Chicago on March 10, 2010
Your situation is so familiar to me. This just happened to me this week, but my hairdresser is my aunt. I have been going to her forever, and now take both of my kids there. This Monday, my kids were in rare form, and she commented that bringing them to her house for haircuts is not working and that next time I need to come by myself and make them separate appts. I live over 1/2 hour from her, and work, so how does she expect that I will have time to do double appts now? She doesn't take hair classes too, and when you bring a picture of a new do or suggest she cuts your hair a certain way, she will argue your opinion and do what she wants anyway. And when I get it colored by her, it is never done right (again, she is not up on the new coloring techniques and products). I am going to have to end this relationship too, but then continue seeing her at family functions. But what really got me was her comments about my kids. And she barely cut my son's hair because he was throwing a tantrum and she was scared to cut him. So I need to find him a child friendly hair dresser. If you have any referrals of a good hair dresser, please let me know.