14 answers

How to Bow Out Gracefully

Hey mammas and happy weekend!

Happy to announce that my position on my momsclub is officially over. I thank you all for your support when I was in crisis in trying to reconstruct my treasury report! Success yes, but stress big time.

My lesson learned is to ask as many questions as possible before stepping up to a voluntary position of an organization that reports to the IRS! Or to volunteer in another capacity.

Anyway, tomorrow night is the momsclub annual dinner. Traditionally many people do not attend because June is a big vacation month. But still the board complains at the lack of interest, but truth be told, people have other things going in besides the club, me being one of them.

I responded maybe and now I'm going to have to say no. My husband has an opportunity to see a friend he hasn't seen in a year. I don't want to deny him this for a dinner that I was on the fence with to begin with because the club position has taken up so much time when I was told it wouldn't.

Anyway, I'm thinking of saying that something came up and I regretfully can not attend. It's a kid-free event and I don't have child care and it's not something I would pay for child care either.

I will continue to see these women sporadically but it is no longer an obligation where I have to worry what they think because "I'm a board member." Thank goodness.

Yes, I still feel bad.

Help?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for chiming in everyone. I e-mailed everyone this morning about my situation. I thanked them for making me feel welcome as the newest member to the board, and also thanked them for all their hard work. I assured them we'd be seeing one another over the summer for activities and such.

I probably would have gone if my hubby didn't have this opportunity. His friend lives in the city and he has to take a bus, which conflicts with the time of the dinner.

Featured Answers

Even board members have other commitments or lack child are.
Release the guilt! Such a negative emotion.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I think you really just need to let this whole situation go.

RSVP your regrets. You don't need to give them an explanation. Don't go, and let the guilt go. it's not worth holding onto.

8 moms found this helpful

A guy would not give this a second thought. You don't have child care. End of story.

6 moms found this helpful

Tell the truth. It's REALLY simple. TELL THE TRUTH. A long time friend has come into town unexpectedly and we haven't seen him in a long time. Thank you. I will not be attending.

Do NOT worry about what people think. Just tell the truth. if they can't handle the truth - that's THEIR problem - NOT YOURS.

I don't understand why you would feel bad about this? You did your job. It was harder and more involved than you thought. You are NOT obligated to show up to this dinner just because you are/were a board member.

When you see these women again? Be nice. Be cordial. If you want more out of their friendship - put the effort in. If not? Press on!!

Have fun with your friend!

5 moms found this helpful

Even board members have other commitments or lack child are.
Release the guilt! Such a negative emotion.

3 moms found this helpful

Tell them you have unchangeable plans that conflict so you can't make it. You said maybe before the plans were set.
Just be honest.
If they have a problem then they are being petty and it's not your problem.

2 moms found this helpful

Don't feel bad your obligation is over and you can what you want without getting their permission.

Thank them and move on. Spend the evening with hubby and his friend.

These people are not going to be in your life that much and I wouldn't worry about their feelings. You have a life now live it with no regrets! Like Mymission says a guy wouldn't think twice about it.

the other S.

PS We women tend to over think things and get all guilt ridden about it -- a man does not. A decision is made and it is over end of story.

2 moms found this helpful

I would just say that something came up, or that I had a previous commitment. No need to bring childcare issues into your RSVP. Sounds like you have put in your time and effort, so no need to feel badly. Your family comes first, and it's sweet of you to encourage your hubby to see an old friend. Bow out gracefully, but try not to feel guilty. Cheers, and hope everything turns out well. :)

2 moms found this helpful

People would rather know where you stand than be stuck thinking you're may "in" or maybe "out" - so tell the truth without all the evaluation. Your husband has a long-time friend coming into town and it's a rare opportunity to get together. You hope they have a great evening. Period. Don't get into whether you are going along or staying home with your kids. You're leaving this group anyway. And don't sound too full of regret or they will think you are wistful about it, and sign you up for something else!

2 moms found this helpful

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