June 22, 2007,
B.B. asks from Saint Augustine, FL on June 15, 2007
How to Better Incorporate God into My Life and My Childrens
I am trying to be more spiritual and I was hoping some other Christian moms might be able to help. How do you fit in time to spread the word of God with young children? i have a 25 mth old and 6 mth old so I really can't imagine taking them along but I work and I want to spend my spare time with them. Also, how do you stay true to god;s word? I find it hard not to wish I was a stay at home mom like my neighboor, which I know you aren't suppose to lust after what other people have but how do you not? I constantly tell myself not do but subconsciously I do wish my husband made enough money for me to stay at home with my girls. How do you not get angry with a family member who insults your children? From reading christian websites etc it sounds like once you repent and find the love of god you are in a different place..truly happy all of the time and follow his beliefs without a problem. Well, I do believe and have repent but I constantly seem to sin again and get mad at people when they hurt my feelings or say something mean about my kids. I want to be a better example for my children and need some guidance on how I can do that. I want to start spreading his word and living more righteous but how? I want to incorporate my children into what I do as well. My daughters are young but I feel like if I battle this now that I can save them from having sex before marriage and a lot of other stuff teens are doing now. I want some advice on how to better incorporate god's word and love into my life and my childrens.
L.S. answers from Tampa on June 15, 2007
I feel like this is something I deal with everyday. I want to stay in God's word and be an example to my children. Then I turn around and sin. But, we will still sin even though we are in God's word. The difference is our sins are forgiven.
God has really worked in my life as far as holding a grudge and getting angry with others. Let me tell you, I could hold a grudge like none other. Once you did something to make me mad, hurt my feelings, etc., I could completely harden my heart against you with the snap of a finger. My mother-in-law caused all kinds of problems around here. It was a really hard time for us. God worked on me and I've come to realize that no matter what her actions, I needed to respond in a Christian way. That doesn't mean I can be walked over. But, I can politely put her in her place : ) My feelings for her used to control me and just made me an angry person. It was affecting my walk with God and things she did would just eat at me. Why should I let her put me through that? I started prayign for her and gosh, I even found myself being nice to her!!! In fact, she recently went through some cancer and I put together a caring bridge site. She cried and said it was the nicest thing anybody has even done for her. Let me tell you, this is all God working in our lives because I never would have believed that I would do something nice for her.
One way I have found to stay in God's word is to do Bible studies everyday. I can't just go to church a couple of times a week and really stay in His word. You should check out Beth Moore's Bible studies. A lot of churches do them with the women. Ours doesn't. So I just do the workbooks on my own. I get up before the kids do and it takes about 30 minutes. That 30 minutes makes such a big difference in my day. When I skip a few days, I can see a difference. At your children's ages, I would read Bible stories to them. Get them into Veggie Tales or other Christian movies. Pray with your kids. When my daughter was 2 1/2, she had a bad case of bronchitis. After going into a coughing fit, she looked at me and said, "Mommy, let's pray." AH HA! I knew she had it.
As far as staying home with your kids, pray and pray about it. If it's something you really want to do, God will provide the way. When I quit working to stay home, we cut back a lot. On paper, we should not have been able to make it. God provided and I've been able to stay home the whole time and I'm homeschooling now. We did it all through prayer.
T.J. answers from Jacksonville on June 22, 2007
I think that everything has been said by others. I just want to tell you not to be so hard on yourself. Becoming a Christian changes your desires....you recognize sin and desire not to sin, and repent when you do. Notice I did not say that you do not sin. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. God is still working on us all. I admire your desire to make your children's lives better. That is what ultimately brought me to God 12 years ago. My girls are teens and involved in church and their youth group, and have been involved in church since my youngest was 1 and my oldest 3. They still have the same pressures in life to deal with, and there is no guarantee that they will not make mistakes. It is really hard to live in this world as a teen. I pray every day that they will not succomb to the pressures of this world. They know that they have someone to turn to when the pressure gets to much (Jesus Christ). I just hope and pray that they always call upon Him. I wish you the best in your endeavors and consider your children blessed to call you mom.
S. answers from Tampa on June 16, 2007
Once you repent and trust God you are in a different place, but it does not make it easier. I have been a Christian since I was 8 and it is still hard. I was raised in church and attended a Christian college (my choice). I still sin and still make mistakes. Even Paul, in Roman 7, talks about being a Christian and still be a sinner. We are sinners, we are just forgiven. Don't get me wrong, I try not to sin, but I do. The difference I recognize and repent of my sins. Being a Christian does not make you happy all the time. It does however help you to find peace and contentment. I am also a working mother, and there are times that I wish I could work part time or stay home full time with my daughter. (It isn't wrong to think that you would like to do something that others are doing and having those feelings isn't bad. I think resenting that person and letting it consume you is the bad part. My friends have things I would like. That is okay. Being jealous and wanting it because they have it is wrong. If you would sincerely like to stay home with you children it is okay to wish you would like to do that, like your friends do). But I know that right now I can't. So I make sure that she is well taken care of and I spend as much time as I can with her every evening.
I think the most important thing to help you is to become part of a Christian community. If you are not in a church, that would be a good place to start. It would be a good place to connect with other Christian mothers and other Christians in general. Also staying in the bible. If you are a new Christian start in the book of John. And then move on to Romans, Ephisians and Galations.
The thing is we are not perfect, even if we are Christians. I know that I am going to make mistakes as a wife, mother, friend, daughter, employee and Christian, but I also know that I can learn from those mistakes and not make them again. And, no matter what I do and where I am, I am never alone, God is always there and ready to listen and talk. See I want my daughter to grow up understanding that God's loves us with all of our flaws and that if we love Him we can be better and do better and love better. Being a Christian does not make life easy, but knowing that I don't have to do any of it alone, makes it a lot less scary.
Also, I think right now the important thing is your family. Making God and your family your priority and living each day for him will be a witness to those around you. They will know there is something different about you and see God in your life.
Read the bible everyday for yourself and to your children. Let them see you pray and listen to Christian music. Get involved in a church. It is the little things that make the most impact. Start small and your faith and relationship with God will grow.
God bless you!!!!
A.M. answers from Jacksonville on June 16, 2007
First I think it's great that you are trying to raise your children with God's love and get better connected yourself. As far as not coveting someone else's life, in the case of being able to stay home with you children, I believe as a mother God allows you the desire to be with them. However, part of life is challenges and how you handle them...God will provide a way if you just keep praying. He has always pulled through for me and my family and I'm in no way perfect, but I'm trying. You need to make peace with your place in your family and I'm sure God will take care of the rest.
I'm not sure what kind of things people would say about you children but I've learned that ignorance runs rapid among the jealous and otherwise unfulfilled...my advise is to turn a deaf ear to it. You love them unconditionally and that's all that matters. If there's anything you need or just want someone to help hold you accountable you can email me @ ____@____.com.
I help incorporate God into my kids life by reading Children's bible stories and saying prayers with him, he really enjoys praying before we eat, he even reminds us if we forget. Other than that he loves music, even remixed hymns. Kids will see the good in what we present to them as long as we show a desire as well. You can try to protect them from things like premarital sex, but when that time comes they will either choose to save it or not...it's not our decision to make for them. My advise is to just make sure they know how special a thing it is to save themselves for marriage, that when they do fall in love and find that one person they want to marry that it makes their relationship even more unique. When something is deemed dangerous/wrong for some reason kids are drawn to do it to spite their parents...hopefully they grow out of that.
I'll keep you and your families needs in my prayers. God Bless!
D.J. answers from Jacksonville on June 16, 2007
Shop around for a good church where you can call home. Many churches offer Sunday School programs that your oldest will enjoy. The churches also have nurseries with good, kind, loving caretakers. You need time in church alone so don't feel as if you aren't spending every second of your spare time with them. You have to nuture yourself in God's word and in doing so you will have more to offer your kids. Set a side at least 30 minutes everyday in prayer and reading the bible or religous books preferably when your kids aren't around.. There are tons of good ones out there that you will like. I enjoy www.beliefnet.com and www.God'sMinute.com and you can choose many different topics send to your mailbox each day to read. I began reading bible stories to my kids everyday and they loved it; that is what they do in Sunday School. I taught for years. You will make many wondeful people there who live moral lives and in doing so their ideas about raising kids the right way will rub off. Don't force it; it will come naturally.
All mothers feel bad when people say bad things about their kids. Are they just being nasty or are they trying to make a good point? If they are just plain nasty then pray for them; it will make you feel better and God Being protective is natural, so don't feel guilty about it, but if their ideas are constructive think about it before being offended. God forgives all sins when repented. Think about Him as your Father and friend and pray to Him that way. I believe it takes a community to raise a child if they are to be well rounded. Most parents now a days feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids and in feeling that way they spoil them and will defend them to the death though not realizing that others suggestions i.e. teachers, etc. are there only to help with problems they may see. Always consider the source though. Kids love to have routines and rules; it makes them feel secure. The best way this can be described is kids in a school yard playing. When there is a fence they know that they can play safely all the way to that fence. If there isn't a fence there is a chance that if their ball, etc rolls out into the street they become frightened because they don't know if they can get it safely, and the playing field is shortened to keep them safe. So give them ground rules and they will flourish. As they age, widen their so called fenced in area. Think about it. You probably felt safer when you were a child because there weren't as many choice to make; yoo didn't have to worry. If you fluctuate in the rules they will test you day to day they will constantly be testing you. Teach them integrity for this trait will benefit them all of their lives.
M.A. answers from Tampa on June 16, 2007
Paise God. You are seeking Him. Your on the right path. Always. Always turn to Him. Take a good look at your finances. Start cutting back. Start trying to become debt free. Work at the future of being a stay at home mom. I could live in a hut and drive a junky car. I could care less. My peace is w/the Lord. Rise above what everyone says. Do what is right. Please Him. Be patient. Work on your marriage. My philosophy. If the marriage is at it's best. Everything else falls into place.
Go to Sunday school. It's the best thing you can do for you and your family. You and your husband are seeking his work while your children are being looked after and the bible is shared w/them. This is what I was taught: The Lord is 1st.then your husband,then your kids,then your church,then your job. Every time get a rattled about something . I go back to this and put everything in order and focus on the right priorities. And it works.
A.A. answers from Tampa on June 16, 2007
Hello B., I completely agree with Theresa about this; is best discussed in person or over the phone. You can e-mail me as well or I can always call you on the weekend.
I know that you are putting on God's face just by trying to be the besty mommy and person you know how to be. It is natural to want to be home. I think God put it in our hearts to be with our children. With my first son, I worked until he was three. God knew how much I wanted to be a SAHM. God has made that possible after three years, but HE had to make some changes with my husband's job and so forth. My husband is in a line of work that he never thought he would be doing. Anyways, this was not the main topic.
As a person who has given her life to the Lord, you must surround yourself with godly fellowship. Other moms in your situation would be good for you. I am sorry but my children need me. I thought I would be able to write in more detail. I would be happy to encourage you more. Please contact me. i have been in your situation and I have friends that deal with working, teaching our children the Word of God, and more. I am sorry that I could not write more, but I am sure you understand. A.
A.K. answers from Jacksonville on June 19, 2007
It is awesome that you want to make God a part of yours and your childrens lives!!! Your right it isnt easy to stay on a straight path, but through prayer you can ask God to give you the strength to do His will. In addition it is very easy to add God into you childrens lives. Go to church, read them Bible stories, pray with them before they go to bed at night, say blessings at the table, and the list goes on. Be very open with your children. When teaching my children to clap I tell the to "clap for Jesus" and when getting them to raise their arms over their heads to change their clothes I say "praise the Lord". But above all you can teach them by example. They learn best by watching you if you follow in Gods path then they will as well. Going to church will be of great importance there you will get the support you need to follow in His path and during service you can take the kids to sunday school and they will help you in teach your kids about our Lord. About staying home with your kids just pray about it. I was a single mom for about 3yrs I longed to be home with my daughter but wasnt able to between school and work I hardly ever saw her. But them God brought a wonderful man into my life, at first i still had to work but about 1 1/2yrs ago He opened a window in our lives that has allowed me to stay home with my girls. Remember God has a reason for everything and in time maybe your husband will get a promotion or a new job that allows you to stay at home. Pray, pray, pray. Trust that God will provide. He always has for us. GOD IS GOOD!!.
God bless and good luck.
D.R. answers from Tampa on June 17, 2007
It is wonderful to hear that you are seeking to live a Christian life and share that with your children. I am a grandmother of 7 (3 girls/4 boys)and mother of 2 sons. Right now I have guardianship of my almost 4-yr-old granddaughter - and just when I thought I could relax!
My "free advice" is to find a church where you feel welcome and where God's word and the Bible are taught. Attend church regularly and be sure to get your little ones involved. A church that has "home groups" is always a good place since you will meet other families more quickly.
There is also nothing like spending quality time with your children, however you cannot spend every waking, breathing minute with them. Take time for your marriage too.
It may not be possible for you to be a "stay-at-home" mom at this time, but remember, as long as you are on a schedule with your little ones, and they know what to expect from you and their daddy, they will flourish in their environment. When you add the spiritual ingredient, you cannot fail! Life is difficult, but God is faithful and loving. God will give you all the strength that you need to raise your children in a Godly way as long as you diligently seek Him and pray.
Many times I have wished for things or situations in my own life to be "better" or like someone else's life, but I am truly thankful that my life went as it did. I have learned a lot over the years. The most important thing I have learned is that my God is bigger than any situation in my life and He is faithful.
Your responsiblity as a mom is one of the most important things you will EVER do in your life - just remember that it doesn't matter if you cannot do it as a "SAHM", it only matters that you do it with the love that God has given you for those precious little ones.
I wish you the best and pray that you find just exactly the church and young Christian families that will be a wonderful support group for you and your family.
PS: Finding time to share God with your children is easy. Just teach them to pray with you at mealtimes, teach them to pray with you at their bedtimes. Read them little Bible stories. Remind them daily that God loves them. Talk about God's love to them often so that they develop their own relationship with Him. Let them know that God is a loving God by showing them through your actions toward them. Take them to church and Sunday School (very important). Pray with them often about many things, if they get hurt, if they are facing a problem, etc. Your actions as a Christian mom will speak volumes to them.
A.S. answers from Indianapolis on June 16, 2007
Veggie Tales is good and colorful for bible lessons and time to spend together. Also you can get a children's bible to read together. The 6 month old will like to hear your voice but by reading the good word to them.
As for the sex thing as teenagers, well there is not a good way to keep that from happening yet so good luck. Just keep having your small bible lessons and they might surprise you.
L.W. answers from Jacksonville on June 17, 2007
If I wrote everything I had to say, it would take me hours. So please give me a call so we can talk. Hopefully I can help you. ###-###-#### L.. Call me any time.
A.A. answers from Sarasota on June 16, 2007
You can't expect to never sin. Getting jealous about not being able to stay home and being angry when someone says something mean about your children are not things that you can expect to never happen. God knows that these things are probably the hardest things not to do. Of course, being in the Word daily is going to help you stay strong against sin. I'm assuming you go to church? Surrounding yourself with Godly people will also help with this. One way that we are starting to encorporate God into my daughter's life is to have her fold her hands and pray before meals (she's 19 months old). You sound like you're doing a wonderful job with your children. Keep up the good work.
T.T. answers from Tampa on June 15, 2007
well thats a mouthfull.you are sitting were i was and still am.my name is T. and i deal with all you are dealling with,on a daily bases.this is a conversation that can go on for a long time and can be better dealt with over the phone or face to face,but i will try to help here and if you need some one to talk to email me on here and we will get in touch and talk.well to begin with i have a 16 year old and a 10 year old and they are both boys and i worry everyday are they into something they shouldn't be into. can't sleep sometimes over it, but that is the life of a mom.that is our job,haa,haa,.the thing i chose to do is no matter what,my kids are in church every sunday and every wedsday.they go to childerens church and i go to my classes.we have a place in the basement of our church,we call the zone and in it everyone goes to gather after church and just talk play games and other stuff.it is so we can get together and talk to other christians of our church and the kids can gather with other christian kids to hangout together.i have talked openly and honestly with my kids about sex and drugs and other things and what they cause,and i have been very clear about things to them and so far my son hasnt had sex and has't done drugs.now i know he has been around people that are doing it,but as far as i can tell he hasn;t done them.and no i am not just keeping my eyes closed.i am very good at detecting things like that.you have to be,to be a mom in these days.i used to drive a school bus and i learned alot about kids and the things they do and their behaiviores.so my kids can't get away with much and they hate it,but you have to be if your gonna be a desent mom and get them grown and out of the scene and in a christian life.but you have to raise them in the house of god and let them know where the line ends and where it begins.and you have to let them know they are loved. know one the subject of people treating your kids bad,that is not exceptible and never will be.you have to draw the line there too and let this person know if they are gonna be in yours and your kids lives then they can't treat your kids and a way you don't aprove of.you have to protect your kids cause know one else will protect them like mom.and if the person chooses not to respect you and the way you feel then this person has made the choice of not being in yours and your kids life.becouse we have to stand up for our kids and show respect for others and show we respect ourselves and that we don't let others disrespect us,either.well i said this would be better done in a phone call or in person.so i am gonna close this now or i can go on and on about this.i have been there in your place and know where you are and how you feel.like someone is kicking you over and over again.mom always said if you don't have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.bye for now always and much luck,your friend T.....