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How to Be a Good Maid of Honor?

My lovely sister is getting married! She asked me to be her maid (matron) of honor and oh wow, I am so thrilled, but also nervous about doing a good job. She's in her 20s and so are her other bridesmaids. She's the first of her friends to get married. I'm 41, and I feel like I don't have a clue what to do. Do you have any suggestions? I want to be the perfect amount of support for her BIG DAY. I'm clueless about stuff like - do I give her a bridal shower or bachelorette party? or both? Oh, and how about the toast? Any tips?

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I'm considerably older than my sister as well and she asked me to be her matron on honor for her wedding 4 years ago. I also live 3000 miles away (California to New Hampshire to be exact with the wedding in Michigan).

I was in charge of the shower (helped by the other bridesmaids), but had her college roommates handle the bachelorette party since I am too old for that and my kids and I had a 7 am flight home the next morning. Everyone was fine with that solution.

The toast is up to you and the bridal couple. They asked if I wanted to give one, I said if they wanted me to, I would, but if it was my decision I would prefer to give one at the rehearsal dinner.

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There is a book out there about being a great Maid of Honor which cover a whole lot of stuff that you can do and also lets you know the basics...plus since the bridesmaids are young...it is probably best that you are the maid of honor.....I would call each bridesmaid up individually...after you feel comfortable with your part and introduce/say hi to them and get a take on what they feel is thier part in this wedding...you might also want to tell them what you'd like to do at maid of honor....you may have some that say..oh, I really want to help with that, to ..oh, I really want to throw the bachelorette party.....let them run with it..but help them or just make sure everything is covered etc...

Resposiblities of a Maid of Honor...

Shower

Other Showers..make sure bridesmaids know of them.

assisting bride with anything

day of wedding assisting bride and making sure bridesmaids assist bride

Help with wedding reception party favors

help bride plan a bridal luncheon

throw an engagement party

throw bachelorette party

assist bride in problems that come up

offer help to wedding coordinator

help with addressing wedding invitations

help with thank you cards

making sure the bride looks her best at reception...

there are many other responsibilities...and the above are not what you have to do..but suggestions...it all matters on what the bride would like...just offer and see if she wants you to do that. I'm from the south...so we tend to do things a little bigger and go overboard with weddings...best thing is to get a feel of what the bride is doing...as well as the abilities of the bridesmaids.

And also..HAVE FUN!

Hi J.,

I got married a little over 2 years ago and have been in a few weddings myself. From my experiences, the maid/matron of honor is responsible for planning the bridal shower or wedding shower. I agree with some of the others who suggest that you should have one of the bridesmaids (her closest friend) to take on the coordinating/planning of the bachelorette party. You're also responsible for making a toast at the wedding...and just making sure that you're there supporting the bride in any other way you can with going with her dress shopping, etc. Sounds like you'll you're on the right track with seeking advice! Good luck! and congrats!

I'm considerably older than my sister as well and she asked me to be her matron on honor for her wedding 4 years ago. I also live 3000 miles away (California to New Hampshire to be exact with the wedding in Michigan).

I was in charge of the shower (helped by the other bridesmaids), but had her college roommates handle the bachelorette party since I am too old for that and my kids and I had a 7 am flight home the next morning. Everyone was fine with that solution.

The toast is up to you and the bridal couple. They asked if I wanted to give one, I said if they wanted me to, I would, but if it was my decision I would prefer to give one at the rehearsal dinner.

Congrats to your sister! My best advice is be there for her. Offer to help anyway you can. Technically all of the bridesmaids throw the shower and bachelorette party. Maybe get the emails of the other bridesmaids so you guys can all talk about it. Usually it is the MOH that is the main planner for those 2 events. As far as the toast goes, don't tell too many embarrassing stories, welcome the groom into the family, etc. I've been a MOH several times so if you have any more questions you can send me a message!

dear J.: first of all, let me say congratulations to your sister...and well, unfortunately my sympathies to you.. lol.. not to be mean, but well, i was 20 when i got married and i asked my sister to be my matron of honor... she declined, so i went on to my best friend at the time. Needless to say, it was a DISASTER!!! my matron of honor not only did not do my wedding shower, she arrived OVER 2 HRS LATE! and on top of that, when she did do my bachelorette party, which SHE INSISTED had to be vegas, i sent her the list of girls i would like her to invite.. and well, she didn't, she invited her cousin and HER friends.. again, another disaster... my point here, make sure that what you are doing, wether it's the shower or bachelorette party or what not is what your sister likes..or atleast among those lines.. you know, you dont want to sit there and push things along. you are also supposed to be the "ring leader" for her bridesmaids, be involved in that. I wish you and your sister the best always, this will be a great bonding time between you both, and hopefully it will make an already close relationship even closer.

Bridal Shower and Bachelorette party are primarily the responsibility for the MOH planning wise. Of course, I would hope that the rest of the bridal party helps out as well. Since you're her sister, you might be the best one for the job, anyway as far as finding out what she'd preffer and delegating tasks to the rest of the party so that you're not stuck doing everything. For the big day, one regret that I have as the MOH for my sister (and she was mine) was making sure that she had something to eat. We were separated for most of the morning and I didn't think about it at all and I know she was hungry all day- I made sure to pack a goody bag with bobby pins, a sewing kit, safety pins. Anything that might have been forgotten by the others in the bridal party. Since the bride has so much to think about, I tried to remember things that might have slipped her mind.
Your sister might be able to tell you for the toast what she'd prefer. I for one, asked that any toasts be short and sweet and only those that wanted to give one had to. It's definitely not a requirement.

How fun! My advice is to go online and research wedding planning, just bone up and be the best resource you can be. You may need to do alot of 'bridesmaid wrangling', especially since you are the 'big sister'. You can help out so much by being organized, and by helping the other girls keep on track as well. Steer her towards a wedding coordinater (she's not a planner, but she will help you plan)- they think of all the little things you would never think about (when booking a venue- do the table linens go to the floor? Who lights the candles on the tables? Does the caterer supply coffee?) My coordinater handled the flowers as well as the catering and coordination of the day- it was wonderful! Good luck, and keep researching ideas!

How exciting! Well, I've been the maid (matron) of honor in three weddings. You are the one responsible for the bridal shower. As for the bachelorette party you can ask one of her friends to organize that if you think they'd be more in tune to what her age group would want. And, yes, I hate to tell you this, but you are responsible for making a toast as well! The toast shouldn't be too tough since she's your baby sis! Plus just be there as a support system and make sure she has everything she needs. Easy, huh? Hahaha.

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