How to Be a Good Aunt for Newborns and Toddlers?

I have soon to be 6 grandchildren, 2 are older than toddlers, the others new borns or under 3.
Mommies want time with their children, and are often overwhelmed with everyday tasks. If she's a working mom especially. Offer to take her grocery list and she can sign her check book or pay you back, but do her shopping for her...or at least with her for help.
If you can afford it, she'd really appeciate it, a massage to relax, getting her nails or hair done, something "just because" or get her huband to give it to her, and you offer to babysit while she's doing a little "me time" to relax and unwind from stress.
Bringing in meals, either when you bake, make a little extra...or an afternoon making a few hotdishes (evn in foil pans) and take several to her into her freezer so she has those fast meals when she's overwhelmed.
If she's not too proud, offer to help clean her home, do laundry, that's always appreciated and hard to keep up with a toddler.
The baby, just help maybe give the bath.
The toddler, they love playground time, in winter, take them for a sled ride while you take a walk (pull them behind you).
Take them to McDonalds play room for a long lunch...just "listen" to the mom who may want to vent or just talk "adult" talk with someone...the toddler will enjoy playing, I do this with my niece who's a handful, and she'll play there for 2-3 hours, we just keep buying coke or snack on fries while we talk so we're still a customer after the main lunch.
Malls often have play areas, offer to watch the toddler, maybe the baby if it's sleeping, while mommy runs errands.
Toddlers like to be played with too...whatever their favorite toy is, just sit with their favorite video going, and play with the child while mommy give baby bath, naps with baby, or does her own chores...keeps toddler from underfoot.
My children loved to put make up on me or fix my hair, I'd be horrified if I had to answer the door, but when they were done, a moment in the bathroom fixed me enough to be "seen" again...and they enjoyed it (have lots of barretts, curlers, blush, eye shadow, just makeup brushes to brush your face, they like that. IF it' a girl toddler, do her nails (neutral or clear is still shiny and special for her), and just use the brushes without actually wiping the blush onto it, and she don't know, but "feels pretty". Make homemade icecream, or homemade cookies, let them help make lunch (open the can, help them poor in the soup, help them to put the things on the sandwich, it tastes better when they made it themselves. Make it "fun" with cookie cut outs big enough to cover most all the bread, it also cuts off the crusts then.
Kids love to be artistic, at the stores, they have many art kits, play dough (recipes for eatable playdough on line), then a special place at home, a door, wall, board that they are allowed to display their artwork. Not everyone likes their "fancier" homes messed up with kids art, so make it a special place if mom don't mind, the fridge is also a great place.
Hope these ideas help.

1 mom found this helpful

M., playing w/a 2 yearold can be as easy as sitting on the floor with them and rolling a ball back and forth. this not only intregues the toddler but teaches him/her coordenation skills. As for doing something for the mother, you could offer to watch the children for a few hours so that she can have a break (even if it's just to take a nap). She will really appreciate the time alone!
Good luck....and it isn't hard to be a good aunt.Just let them know how much you love them!

Children that age love you to tell them stories using their blocks and toys as props.

You can help momma by babysitting to giving her some alone time periodically or by taking her out to coffee or a movie while daddy babysits. Phone contact helps too. Momma's with children this age crave adult conversation.

First, be relaxed around the 2-yr. old and then let them take the lead for playing. If they are not interacting with you, here are some suggestions; read one of their favorite books, listen to a lively CD of kids songs and sing with them or teach them the word to a favorite kids song of your (Itsy, Bitsy Spider, Row, Row, Row your boat, etc.) Be animated when you are singing; smile and have fun. Bring along some snacks when you go visiting. Just be yourself and relax and have fun like you did when you were a kid.

Suggestions for the mom; take one or both children for a walk in the neighborhood or playtime in the park, so she can have a few minutes by herself. Offer to babysit in the evening so she can go out with her friends/significant other/husband. Offer to do some household chores so she can take a nap.

These are some things I've done for my daughter who has 2-yr. old twins.

Your SIL will love you if you bring dinner, clean the house, do laundry, or other tasks of living. Even keeping an eye on the children while she gets an uninterrupted shower will help. You might use this time to take the 2 y/o out for special "Auntie and Me" time. Take her(?) to the park and play. Or go for lunch or breakfast together. A trip to the zoo is always fun as well. If the weather is not cooperative, take her home with you and have a tasting party with new foods or a tea party. If you are crafty, make a simple project or just have her color a picture for Mommy. I hope this gives you some ideas that are helpful. Liz

M.,

I also have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, both girls. My 2 year old LOVES babies and playing house with her kitchen and toy cleaning supplies. I think last night we played for like an hour, I had 3 colored cups and I wouild hide a ball under one and she had to find it. She had a so much fun, little games like that are so easy.. I am just now teaching her how to play hide and seek, she loves to be chased.

As a mom, I would LOVE to sleep in for 1 day. That is what I asked my mom to give me for valentines day, a day my husband and I can sleep until we feel like getting up. Otherwise I would love it if my sister's would insist on watching them for a half hour so I can go excercise or take a nap.

My sister went with me to take my daughters to get their shots and their doctor appointments. That was the best help I could ever recieve. It's nice to have her distract one as the doc talks about the other. Also helping me take them to the store or park. Its hard to hold/monitor the little one when the 2 year old is running away from you.

I would also love to just go out to eat with my sisiter's or shopping even if it was with the 2 kids. I feel like I dont get to spend enough time with them like I wished because I am so busy now.

Sounds like you are a great Aunt.

M.,
Sometimes the new mom needs quiet time. You could take the 2 yr old out of the house to an indoor play land and both of you could run off some energy. Good quality time together is always fun. As for the new mom, the biggest thing that helped me is when my mom came and did some light cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, dishes and even cooking. This is so helpful when you are lacking sleep and energy. Good luck and kudos to you for helping out!

2 yr olds are easy to play with- they love EVERYTHING. You can be doing the most mundane thing in the world and they want to help you. There are a zillion ways to get a toddler involved in whatever you are doing. When I pay bills, my 2yr old puts the stamps and return address labels on the envelopes. When I cook, he dumps measured ingredients in the pot. When I sweep and mop, he has his own little broom and mop and dustpan. When I do laundry, he helps me sort it. Of course all of these things are done with 2yr old enthusiasm so none of it is done perfectly!

Offer to do laundry or do dishes or cook dinner - and get the 2yr old to help you; that way you are killing 2 or 3 birds with one stone!

Frozen dinners (homemade or even store bought) are a godsend for new moms! Bring one or more every time you visit!!!

When my son was a newborn, he was unable to stay asleep at all, and it meant severe sleep deprivation for me for an entire year. The best thing that happened during that time was my parents came over to help me with everything. Sometimes they would hold my son while I cleaned, sometimes my mom would make dinner, my mom would watch the baby while my dad went grocery shopping with me. My mom stayed overnight every friday for 3 months so I could have ONE night of sleep each week.

Depending on how your SIL is coping with the new baby, and how her particular situation is, her greatest needs might be different- the best thing to do would be to ask her how you can best help out- let her know what sort of things you are willing to do: baby sit one or both of the kids at her house, take the 2yr old to your house or out on an outing, do dishes laundry sweeping mopping clean the bathroom etc, grocery shop for her, make her dinners, stay overnight sometimes or have the 2yr old on a sleepover to your house. Tell her you really want to help and ask her to choose at least 3 things you can do for her.

My friends who have two kids say getting any time to themselves is their biggest challenge, as well as not getting enough sleep in the beginning. I would try to work towards helping with those two challenges if SIL can't provide you with a more specific answer.

What a great aunt you will be! You care enough to want to be there for them! Family is SO important. Good for you :) She is lucky to have you :)

Hello, M.!
I am Heidi D., and my sister had a similar situation. I was fortunate enough to be single at the time, and would stop over after work while she was fixing dinner and play with the neices. The things we did were simple - she would show me her latest or best toy, or we would help mom by sorting laundry together, or read on the couch or run around the living room and laugh. Toddlers are in such a neat learning stage! If you establish a routine, they will follow the pattern and be able to learn more. so, maybe once a week you come around the same time and allow the 2 year old to show you toys or something in their bedroom. Make it a time of playing peek-a-boo with the toy, eventually leading to simple hide and seek with the toy (and then great hide-and-seek games when the two year old is four!).
Or, go outside and spend some time looking at leaves, grass, ants. Taking time to sit and explore the outdoors with a youngster can lead to their being much more observant about their world when they get older. I saw this with my older niece, Chrissie. When I'd stop over in the spring and summer, we'd play outside while my sister was fixing dinner or taking a well-deserved nap. She was so scared of ants she'd step all over them, screaming! I got her to calm down and watch them, and gradually she was fascinated by them. Her two sisters followed in her footsteps, and now we have three nature-loving girls!
My boiled-down advice: think of what you'd want them to be like when they are older and work toward that goal. If you want them to be polite, train them now to be polite around you. If you want them to be willing to help, let them help now and make a BIG deal about the BIG HELP they are, and continue finding ways to be a BIG HELP TO MOMMY every day. And, talk to your sister-in-law about the things she would appreciate from you.
Hope this is helpful! I love being with my nieces, who are 17, 12, and 10.

I am the mother of two three year olds and a 16 month old. I am so grateful when family and friends prepare meals for us. I love to cook but it is very difficult to do with the kids. Also taking the two year old for a day or overnight would offer your sister-in-law a little break.

Two is such a great age! Get down on your knees and PLAY!! Interact and have fun!
Show them how to play with....anything, cars, little people, MUSIC. Most kids at this age LOVE music! There are even some artists out there that have an adult quality to the music - not just Disney cartoon characters, etc. Teaches about morals and values.

Also if mom isnt too afraid of messes, do some art. Put plastic down and old clothes if you have to, but let them create! Make something special for baby and mom. Get a onsie, wash it and use fabric markers to draw a special hello on it. Make a Moms day gift.....

Have fun and enjoy!!!

Hi, M.!
I am a first-time mom to a 5-month-old little boy and one problem I encounter is that everyone is happy to babysit my son while I "get out for a bit" if I take him to their house. Rarely does anyone offer to come to my house where he is in his own environment, with his own toys, and just play with him while I get work done around the house. I don't really want to "get out" or be away from him, I just want to be able to leave the room for more than a few minutes at a time without worrying about him falling sideways or getting tired of his play mat or swing. If you live close enough, I would suggest offering to play with the two year old and tend to the newborn while you're SIL is there and able to nap or get chores done. The two year old will LOVE to "help" you with things for the baby!

Hello M.,
Me and my fiance have a 2 month and 5 day old daugher. We also have a 2 and 1/2 year old niece. She loves when we read together, play with her toys, we invent new games together, outside and inside. Outside we run together and inside we play with toys, read, watch her movies, and just talk. She really loves to talk and it helps expand her mind, curiosity, and her well being. She loves to go to the park when it is niece out. Just be creative it will come. Hope all goes well. She also loves animals and buttteflies and likes learning about them.

Two year olds are in to doing EVERYTHING. Its all new to them so if they are trying something new or you want their help, they are more then happy to be there for you or do what ever it is you are doing. Two year olds are the best to be around and hang with. I miss the age.

For the mother. Cook some dinners for her, time is always something a mother with a newborne does not have enough of. Maybe bring a crock pot over. Stop by in the morning, Through in some meat, vegies, and a can of cream of "something" with some spices. Put it on low. By dinner time it is ready to go.

M., it's wonderful to see that you are really thinking about this. AS far as the two year old is concerned, just get down on the floor with her and play with what s/he's playing with or read books. As far as the mom, does she have a favorite meal that you could make her? or offer to take the two year old out of hte house for a couple hours on an outing, so mom and baby can rest. Another favorite offer that I've received is to do a chore when coming to visit. Sometimes I've found that just asking what you can do to ease things for mom is really helpful. If you look and listen when you visit, you may find out what would be helpful for her.

Well my daughter has NO involved Aunts or Uncles so let me tell you what I would dream of from a Aunt or someone like you.

If my daughter only had a Aunt I would love:

Aunt to pick up my child around age2 and older and take her out for the day, go to the zoo, park, shopping, McDonalds etc., maybe let her spend the night. Give me a break, spoil my child I wouldn't care. Or come over and play with my child get down on your hands and knees like a child yourself and play. Entertain whatever.

I would love the Aunt to bring my daughter cute unique thoughtful gifts for her birthday or xmas and call and congratulate her on her soccer goal or great report card from school.

If my daughter had a Aunt that would call and offer to come keep a eye on the kids or help me with a project or around the houes I would be in heaven.

Your very lucky to have nieces or nephews Love 'em up..

My family is in dysfunctional land and my daughter has NEVER had aunts/uncles as I don't myself don't have neices or nephews but if I did I would be the coolest great Auntie ever.

Hope that helps you!

Hi:)
I'm a mom of a newborn and 1yo. As far as what to do for the mom, I would love it if someone came over and payed a lot of attention to my daughter (1yo), so I can have some time with my son (newborn). I'm sure the 2 yo. needs a lot of attention. Also, it's next to impossible to take both the kids out shopping, so when you're out and about, call and see if she needs anything! She'll more than appreciate that, I'm sure:)
It's very nice of you to be thinking of her and asking what you can do to help.

J.

I have a two year old and he loves playing simple games like memory, puzzles and reading books. He also loves animals and pointing out different colors and shapes. My one year old daughter just loves it when I'm in her room with her while she's playing with her baby dolls. I'll wrap them up in blankets or pretend to give them a bottle and she has a blast. A simple thing to do for a mom of little ones is just go to her house and watch the kids so she can take a shower or go to the grocery store alone.

Hi M.,

I would take the 2 year old out of the house to give the mother some time with just the baby. My daughter is almost 2 and she loves the MN Children's Museum and indoor playgrounds (Edinborough or Eagle's Nest).

Also, I'm sure the new mom would appreciate you doing some laundry and/or bringing over meals. Try to think of dishes that reheat well and can provide multiple meals (e.g., lasagna, a whole roasted chicken with vegetables, etc.).

Another thought is that the 2 year old might need some alone time with mom. You might want to come over between the baby's feedings (if the mom is nursing) and babysit the newborn.

If your sister-in-law will be honest with you, just ask her what she'd like. I know a new mom who, when asked, said all she REALLY wanted was for someone to clean her bathroom!

I'm sure your help will be appreciated no matter what you do!

Toddlers love books. I have simple one word picture books and ask the child what the picture shows. Toddlers mimic what they see mom doing so a doll with trimmings like diapers would be fun. If a boy, get play tools such as dad would use. Let the child lead the way . They are very smart at this age.

I would say the best way to be a good aunt is to be a good sister-in -law. Offer to watch the babies for a couple of hours each month so that the mommy can go and get her nails done or whatever else she might want to do. 2 yr olds love to be read to, love to play with building things, pretty easy to keep occupied, but remember you can't turn your head for a second!

Hi M.-

When my son was two (he's 4 now) it was such a wonderful time for him (and a much appreciated break for me) anytime his aunts/uncles/grandparents would take him to any of the following:

-The park (any park most of the year- Edinborough or one of the free indoor play areas at local malls during the cold, winter months)
-The MN Children's Museum
-An indoor gym
-The library
-a walk "around" (i.e. along part of) the lake
-the Touch and Feel Room at the Bell Museum
-pretty much anywhere, really- just over to their house to play, or even when they stayed at our house and played on the living room floor while I was out of the room or in the backyard while I was inside the house

And it could have been a long adventure or just a quick hour or so- it was always memorable and fun for him.

One of the things that I would have appreciated that didn't always happen would have been for my sister or brother to touch base with me re: nap and meal times. Were they flexible? If not, how best to time an outing so that it wouldn't interfere? Could they stop somewhere like McDonalds for lunch, rather than rushing home?

I just had a baby a week ago and can say that things that I've really appreciated with a newborn around as well as an older sibling have been friends/family stopping by with dinners (e.g. lasagna, stew, whatever), or stopping by to either watch the kids while I take a quick nap, or run a load of laundry down to the basement, or whatever I've been wanting to do but can't easily on my own. Others have shown up with a package of diapers, or have stopped at the grocery store to pick up staple supplies for us.

Really, one of the greatest gifts we've received have been friends and family going out of their way to play with and entertain our older son- it's allowed us to relax and spend some one-on-one time with the new baby without worrying that our older son is feeling neglected or left out. The best part is that this doesn't have to cost any money at all- just some time, patience and love.

Hope this is useful...

M.

Oh my gosh... I'm in the same boat as you are. My one and only nephew just turned 1 this December, and they have another one coming in July. I'm sure I can learn from the advice that you will be getting, but maybe I can throw in what I've been doing.

Because I'm a first time aunt, I've learned that anything I can do to help them out as a family is good. I offer to dogsit if they're going out of town, babysit if they need a night off, and sometimes, during a week, I'll call a night or two ahead and offer to bring dinner over for the family (I'm single without kids, and live on a budget, but I'm still a fan of takeout spaghetti and breadsticks, or pizza, and it's usually not too expensive for several people, once in awhile- if you cook, even better).

I'm also the nerd of the family, and I know that not everyone takes the word 'nerd' as a compliment as I do, but I've kind of made the gift of books and musical CDs 'my' gifts... I give books at birthdays and holidays, and have considered that maybe even as they get older, I'll volunteer to buy their first bunch of books for college, (something I'm looking forward to, and would have loved personally) and I like to think that I'm creating something so positive as the love of books.

I also like to create CDs of kid's songs and give them for fun... I've learned that my nephew's mom likes to use music to get him either motivated or to listen to while playing (he's quite the little dancer), or slower stuff to wind him down at night, and it's helped her to have choices of what to listen to, so one CD doesn't get too old. It's been fun for me because I can introduce him to some of the fun (clean) music I like and also to some of the stuff that my grandma used to sing to my brother and I.

As far as interaction goes, this is good because we'll put in a CD that I made, and it's of course music I love that I've chosen for the beat or the fun lyrics (I've even snuck in some of my favorite band Aerosmith... Steven Tyler has a song he did for SesameStreet, called I Love Trash), and I'll dance around with him, or just get goofy and dance for him. (He's 14 months, and doesn't judge, and the exercise is good for me). I use itunes.com to buy single songs and burn CDs, but you can also buy children's CDs online or at stores, if it's easier for you than compiling and burning.

I also love books and illustration, and love to shop for and give him fun books. His current favorite is one I gave him, where it has bumpy monkeys he can touch and feel, and one disappears as you turn each page... (they're jumping on the bed, and you know what happens when one falls off...)it's cool to me to see him enjoying it. I'm looking forward to next Christmas, where I can give him and his new sibling some books that I found on this site: http://www.iseeme.com/ that illustrates their name and the alphabet. If you're interested, there's also a coupon code for free shipping, and it's FSJ11435A. I learned about them at firstbook.org.

Anyway, I'm having fun being a new Aunt, and I hope some of this helps, and that you have as much fun with your little guys/gals as I do with my new nephew and plan to have with the next one (gender yet to be determined). :)