How to Approach a Neighbors...

Updated on September 18, 2012
M.S. asks from Teec Nos Pos, AZ
16 answers

I have lived in my apartment with my family for about 7 years now. We have new neighbors that have moved downstairs form us and smoke so much inside their apartment, that my apartment smells like an ash tray. They have been here less than 2 weeks and the smell is unbearable even with my windows open. I haven't formally met them yet but they are brothers of a sweet young woman that works in the library that I am friendly with and our ur kids also go to the same schooll.

There were other neighbors who have lived in that apt, that smoke It never came into my apt before. These new guys smoke in the house with their windows closed, and apparently smoke like crazy. I have also had other neighbors who were not a problem whatsoever while they lived downstairs.
Anyway, I want to go down there and let them know about it but I am reluctant because I don't want my first encounter being me complaining. I am also hesitant because one of my former neighbors turned out to be a psycho alcholic and I don't want to deal with crazies anymore. I have thought about saying something to the landlord but I feel like that will bring more tension than approaching them. Anyone go through something similar or have suggestions?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from El Paso on

Ask the landlord to say something about it without using any apartment numbers or names. Just ask him to say "a few tenants" are concerned because they can smell the cigarette smoke in their apartments. Very nonspecific, lets them know, and (hopefully) will get them to at least open a window when they smoke.

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.N.

answers from Boston on

I think maybe a 2-step approach might be helpful.

Step 1: Bring 'em brownies or something. Introduce yourself, just welcome them to the "neighborhood." Be the chatty, nice lady up stairs.

Step 2: Wait a week (sorry!). Go down again & tell them nicely about the smoke. Ask if maybe they could open their windows some, maybe get a small air filter or if there may be some vent that might be able to be closed (or opened, if it takes the smoke away from you). Give it a whirl. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

If it doesn't work, you can always call the landlord.

Good luck!

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

You need to contact management and MOVE. This is a health issue and it won't stop.

6 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

buy an air purifier for your apartment, that's what my more sensitive tenants have done here. some of the smokers bought one for their apartment and some of the neighbors of the smokers have bought one, and it seems to help, I havent had any complaints for a couple of years.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The land lord needs to know that their cigarette smoke is coming into your apartment. Tell them that you are going to have to move if it can't be fixed.

I can honestly say that I have never smelled cigarette smoke from any neighbors when I have lived in apartments.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.K.

answers from New York on

Get an air purifier for your apartment.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Charlotte on

It probably won't do any good. They like smoking and probably aren't going to stop what they are doing and go outside to do it. They also are so used to the smell, that it doesn't bother them at all. Anywhere they go where there is smoking, they don't smell it, so they won't really "get" why the smell bothers you...

I would talk to the landlord first about ways to help mitigate the problem. It could be that there are some inexpensive ways to help this. The landlord also might like to know what's happening because it affects his property.

If your lease is coming up anytime soon, I recommend that you move...

Dawn

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

What is the smoking ordinance in your county? If there is none, contact the building management and have them advise the new tenants that they must NOT smoke inside the apartment. Smoke only outside.

OR

I do like the approach of being good and welcoming neighbor and bring a cake or something and be honest...their smoke is rising up into your home and is affecting your health. IF they don't want to stop the smoking, then take other action.

Smoke smell is terrible not to mention the health hazard to all concern.

If anyone should move...it should be the new tenants and I would also request that the owners of the building state their policies in advance so this will not happen again.

Keep us posted.

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Contact your landlord or apartment manager to first find out if there is some other reason this is happening.

Thing is, it is their apartment, they can smoke in it. To go complain you are going to get a big middle finger response.

So start with management, tell them what is going on and ask them what can be done. You have no right to complain to your neighbors.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I would talk to the landlord. Just from a property standpoint, if the smoke is affecting your apartment, imagine how it's affecting theirs! The landlord might be glad to know.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Smells coming in your house, noisy neighbors that you can hear through the walls, kids running across the floor..unfortunately, these are some of the things you have to deal with when living in an apartment. Do you really think they will smoke less if you tell mention this to them? Nope they wont. Sorry you have to deal with it. Get transferred to another apartment or maybe they will move soon. If smokeing is allowed in your apartments, there is nothing the landlord can do.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

If you absolutely cannot move, talk to the landlord, yes. But if there is smoking allowed in the building, the landlord may say he or she cannot tell tenants what to do regarding an activity that is legal and allowed in this building.

There is a very good and sobering commercial that runs in our area, courtesy of a local health department. It shows someone smoking in the basement of a house, and it traces the smoke's path through every air vent right to a small child upstairs. It points out that there is no way, NO way, that others are safe from second-hand smoke.

Getting an air purifier will not get the chemicals out of the air or out of your lungs. It might improve the air smell, that's it, but go in your closet right now and really smell your clothes. I bet they smell of smoke and so do your kids' clothes. And their soft stuffed toys, which suck up odors from the air. Eventually you will start to find a mysterious brown, sticky substance clinging in odd places such as items deep in the kitchen cabinets, items you haven't used in a while so they've sat there in the back of a drawer. That substance is from cigarettes. Imagine it in your kids' lungs.

I may be sounding dramatic here but the nastiness of smoke is for real. We had to scrub down the basement of our house because the previous owner smoked there and the walls -- which appeared clean and white -- actually ran with that sticky brown crud once we started washing them down. Same happened when I cleaned out my late mom's home in which she smoked for decades. I knew both times what the goo was because it stank of cigarettes.

Asking them to open their windows when they smoke won't make much difference. You would be depending on the thoughtfulness of strangers who don't know you or particularly care. Nicotine's addictive and they need it more than they need a good relationship with their upstairs neighbor.

KayB's post is right. This is a serious health issue. I'd really look into whether there are non-smoking buildings in your current apartment complex or elsewhere. Meanwhile, impress on the landlord that you share the air ducts with the entire building and your family is breathing the same air as the smokers downstairs.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from New York on

Tell them you or someone in your family has asthma and the smoke drifts up to your appartment and causes an asthma attack.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Can you invite them up for a burger or pizza and a beer.
Ask them if your apartment smells like smoke to them and that you can't figure it out--you don't smoke and have never had this issue before....

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.H.

answers from New York on

That's terrible! Don't approach them. You will get the finger. Talk to your landlord. If there is nothing he can do, MOVE!! Secondhand smoke is bad for you to say the least. Not to say, you are going to have to put up with it smelling your apartment.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.E.

answers from New York on

if they are allowed to smoke in their apartment (i know most apartments around here anyway youre not supposed to smoke in) theres really not much you can do.. i think you have a point, if youve never met them before and the first time you do is because you want to talk to them about this, its probably not going to make for a great first impression.. if you are close with your landlord i would ask what his/her opinion is.. maybe he or she will be nice enough to go to their apartment and ask them nicely if they can open a window to let some of the cigarette smell out, and wont mention that it was your idea.. i think you should go introduce yourself.. give it a little time and get familiar with them, that should give u a better idea of how to approach the situation.. i mean sure they could be psychos but they could be perfectly nice people also

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions