L.S. asks from Omaha, NE on June 08, 2010
How Soon to Get Pregnant After New Job
After I lost my job last year, our baby plans were put on hold. I finally was able to get a job toward the end of February this year. My daughter will be 3 in August, and I would love to expand our family sooner rather than later. I don't mind my children being a few years apart, but as of now, they'll be about 3 1/2 if not 4 years apart. I'm okay with that, but this means trying to get pregnant after only being at my job at 6 months (my husband and I have talked about going off my pill in July). I realize that these things take time, but based on how quickly I got pregnant with my first (only one month), I'm thinking the soonest would be August or September. This could not happen, and I understand this, but I have to plan for everything. What do other moms think about being at a job only 6 months before getting pregnant or trying to conceive? Is this irresponsible from a career standpoint? I feel like my family comes first, and that by the time I'd have the baby I would be there for a year, so perhaps I should go on with my plans. But then I'm worried that it would be awkward at work, and I do have to work for financial reasons. At this point I'm leaning toward just trying in July and seeing what happens, and that because I work at a good company, it won't be a big deal. But being a fairly new employee, it still makes me nervous. Any advice would be wonderful. Thank you!
So What Happened?™
Thank you to everyone who commented on this issue. I can say that it sounds like the majority of you think that family comes first, and I agree. I agree that it's important to be respectful of your job as well, and that waiting is a good thing, but following your family's needs is good too. However, one mom made a good point that jobs come and go and are not forever, but your family is. I've decided to find a happy medium, and I may not wait quite a year to go off my pill, but I may wait one or two extra months than I originally thought - just to get a little closer to that one year mark and well passed the 6 months (also giving me a little more time to prove myself in my position). I'd like to not wait too long considering I turn 30 in August, and I'm not that new at my job really anymore. By the time a baby arrived, I wouldn't be new at all... so growing family, here we come! THANK YOU to all who provided me advice!!
M.F. answers from Minneapolis on June 09, 2010
Family comes first! You will have been there a year, I think that's o.k. I too was nervous when I switched jobs and got pregnant right away, I wasn't even there a year, but it worked out just fine! Good luck!
L.R. answers from Rochester on June 09, 2010
Go for it!!! Since being at my job for 6 years, we've had 2 girls come on board already pregnant (ha! They didn't share until they started). Everyone loved it. We got to know both girls even sooner. It was exciting. Maybe keep it to yourself about wanting to try. Opps happen!!
2 moms found this helpful
A.B. answers from New York on June 09, 2010
I think I am going to be the unpopular vote here. We work so we can support our families. What if your "nice" employer doesn't turn out to be so nice when they find out? My friend hired a woman who knew she was preggers and then said two months later she was preggers and didn't know it. My friend found out becasue the pregnant woman told another co-worker. My GF didn't fire her but was very unhappy about the deception and this woman was never seen in a good light going forward. I tell you this only because you refered to your job with a possible career path. I also think that the way jobs are these days I'd appreciate being employed a little more. I say wait till your year anniversary then get pregnant. The employer knows your start date , so even though other posters say you will be pregnant when you hit your year you employer might possibly think she only started 6 months ago. What's an additional six months?
1 mom found this helpful
A.E. answers from La Crosse on June 09, 2010
I agree with the few brave souls who admit that whether or not it is legal...you may be discriminated against for doing this...especially knowingly chosing this path. It is, in my opinion, unfair for your employer to hire you and expect you to fulfill certain responsibilities and duties, spend the time and money to train you, just to have you leave for weeks/months, and expect that there will not be repercussions. Whether or not your intentions are legal (which they are) is not the question...it is rather one of responsilbility, and in this climate where many of us are just happy to be working. I would hope that you would maybe take into account that you have the good fortune of finding a job ater a long search, and maybe hold off. Whether or not you realize it, your actions at work will affect many people, and getting pregnant right after being hired may cause resentment by your employer, your co-workers, and the people you deal with because they will have to work around your choice. If you have no regard for this, then power to you...go for it.
1 mom found this helpful
I.G. answers from Seattle on June 08, 2010
It totally depends on your employer. Where I work we don't discriminate based on maternity. We have in the past even hired women in their 7th and 8th months of pregnancy and offered maternity leave.
But I work for a large employer and there are a lot of options to find people to fill in.
I have a friend that worked for a small business and was laid off as soon as she announced that she was pregnant. Yes, it's illegal - but seriously what are you going to do...
Personally I think that jobs come and go and you can't let them dictate what happens in your family. If it puts a dent in your career at this particular place, just look for a new opportunity once baby is a bit older and you can invest more time and attention in your career.
1 mom found this helpful
S.H. answers from Minneapolis on June 09, 2010
I was in your EXACT position about a year ago. I had started a new job about 6 months earlier. (I started as a temp in January, and they hired me permanently beginning in May). We wanted to get pregnant again soon, but I also felt concern about how it would look to my employer to get pregnant so soon after taking the new job. But we went ahead and did it anyway. At this point, it sounds like by the time you gave birth, you would have been with the employer for the requisite 12 months of employment that will qualify you to be eligible for FMLA leave. In that case, as you know, your employer absolutely can't fire you, even IF they feel irritated by your situation. I know that's only SOME comfort, as you also want to continue making a good impression and showing signs that you are committed to the job and the company, etc. etc.
But you say you work for "a good company", and if that is your feeling about your employer, then I would think you are especially "safe" in going for it! I ended up getting pregnant end of last September (am now due in 3 weeks!), and was very nervous about breaking the news to my boss at the 13 weeks point. But he took it really well, was really happy for me and news spread quickly through our department. I was so relieved. They have been really accommodating throughout my pregnancy and really enthusiastic for me. I'm sure it helps that I have also made sure to exhibit signs that I am committed to my role here, that I'm very competent at what I do, and that my pregnancy and new child won't upset my situation so much to the point where I might just fly the coop or something... I think it will help your case, too, that you already have one child. Your employer will know that you are already accustomed to what it's like to juggle work and family life, and will be less likely to worry that you will decide not to return to work or something after your maternity leave.
Bottom line: it's not irresponsible. Show yourself to be a valuable employee and demonstrate that you can competently, successfully, cheerfully navigate your way through work AND pregnancy and it can only help your career. Especially if you really do work for a good company. Go for it. Totally go for it.
L.H. answers from Milwaukee on June 09, 2010
I wouldn't worry to much about it. The baby will be born after you being there for over a year. I would go on with your plans and have a baby.
C.R. answers from Milwaukee on June 09, 2010
I was fired a month after I found out I was preganant. I think they thought I knew I was preganant which couldn't have been FURTHER from the truth.
I found out I was 5.5 months pregnant and had only been in my position for about two months. They said it was poor performance yet I was still in training. I know my FEMALE manager didn't like all the doctor's appointments I had to go to. Not only did I have to deal with finding out I was pregnant but then I was also unemployeed at 7 months.
It all worked out since me unemployment was extended four times and that was longer than the seven months I was with the company. If I knew I was preganant I wouldn't have changed jobs so fast in the company not knowing her attitude towards missing ANY work.
M.S. answers from Omaha on June 09, 2010
That would work out fine if you get pregnant after 6 months. You'll be over your one year by the time baby arrives, so you'd could collect your sick time pay and take the full 12 weeks off. Besides, there isn't a darn thing they can say or do about it ; )