34 answers

How Old Is Too Old to Walk Arround in J. Underwear?

I saw the incredibly sad question about the dad and his daughter and doing very questionable and wrong things and a few people commented at 9 she should not walk around without a shirt (they didn't blame the things her dad did on this, J. stated an opinion) and should be almost embarrassed if her dad sees her without a shirt.
I was like this when I grew up but really don't want my daughter to grow up like this. If my grandpop tickled M. and accidentally brushed my chest I would yell that he touched my privates and make him feel horrible because of all of the lectures my parents gave. I don't see the chest as a private area on a little girl. I J. have a daughter and have no issue with walking by her without a shirt J. to go downstairs to get a bra I need out of the dryer. Granted I J. dont walk arround nude or J. in underwear all day and dont stop and coverse but I also am not hiding myself and putting a towel on to walk in front of her. If I had a boy I think I'd feel diferently.
Anyway back to the question...my 5 year old Emmy always walks around in J. underwear when getting ready for bed and in the morning. She's either fully dressed up (heels, dress, shoes, and so on) or J. in underwear. I have never seen an issue with this, she does so in front of close friends and family and I never thought twice. She often will get ready for bed and come out to give everyone a quick hug when she's J. in underwear since that's how she sleeps. I don't see any issue with this. So my question is,
1. How old is too old in your home?
2. Do you ever walk by without a shirt quickly?
3. Does your views change with kids of oppositte sex?

My answers are obviously
1. I'm not sure...looking for your opinions to take into account
2. yes
3. Yes, as in I don't think I'd walk by my son at 5 without a shirt (although as long as I have a bra on I feel that covers as much as a bathing suit) and obviously any guy around her has to wear shorts

I think most of my opinion comes from the fact that I don't think girls chests are any diferent than boys until they hit a certain age. I don't think its any diferent to see a 5 year old girl shirtless then a boy at this point.

What are your opinions?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I agree with you about chests. It's OK for everyone in the family to walk around in their underwear. I know a family that walk around naked. It's not sexual unless someone makes it sexual. If someone in the family is uncomfortable with it then the family shouldn't do it.

11 moms found this helpful

1. "Too old" is when the someone is uncomfortable. I remember being nine and working out in the garden (we lived in the country then) and taking my shirt off-- and then having my own feeling of 'oh, no, I'm too big for this'. No breast buds or anything at that age, J. an awareness.

2. My five year old son sees M. naked pretty regularly. We are a one-bathroom household. He loves to come in and talk to M. while I'm showering. Last week, I got a ukelele seranade.:) I do gently kick him out because the bathroom is small and I need the space, but he's seen it all before. When he starts honoring my requests for privacy before I have to ask for them, or begins to seem uncomfortable (looking away, asking for privacy when he changes his clothes) then I will follow suit.

3. My views do not change based on gender. Some people are very modest and want privacy at a young age, some are not. If I had a daughter or so who wanted 'their space' in a dressing room shopping, etc. I'd honor that too. It's less about the gender and more about the person.

8 moms found this helpful

I've never understood why it's fine for a male to go shirtless, but "indecent" for a female. And don't tell M. it's because females have breasts. Men have nipples too, and I have known guys who had man-tits that were bigger than my 32B's.

7 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I agree with you about chests. It's OK for everyone in the family to walk around in their underwear. I know a family that walk around naked. It's not sexual unless someone makes it sexual. If someone in the family is uncomfortable with it then the family shouldn't do it.

11 moms found this helpful

1. "Too old" is when the someone is uncomfortable. I remember being nine and working out in the garden (we lived in the country then) and taking my shirt off-- and then having my own feeling of 'oh, no, I'm too big for this'. No breast buds or anything at that age, J. an awareness.

2. My five year old son sees M. naked pretty regularly. We are a one-bathroom household. He loves to come in and talk to M. while I'm showering. Last week, I got a ukelele seranade.:) I do gently kick him out because the bathroom is small and I need the space, but he's seen it all before. When he starts honoring my requests for privacy before I have to ask for them, or begins to seem uncomfortable (looking away, asking for privacy when he changes his clothes) then I will follow suit.

3. My views do not change based on gender. Some people are very modest and want privacy at a young age, some are not. If I had a daughter or so who wanted 'their space' in a dressing room shopping, etc. I'd honor that too. It's less about the gender and more about the person.

8 moms found this helpful

I've never understood why it's fine for a male to go shirtless, but "indecent" for a female. And don't tell M. it's because females have breasts. Men have nipples too, and I have known guys who had man-tits that were bigger than my 32B's.

7 moms found this helpful

My nine year old still whips off her shirt in the house if she's hot. She even practiced her hip hop dance routine in the living room sans shirt the other night. The older one was more modest at that age but I can't say it would matter to us either way.

The sexualization of the human body comes from society and adults, not kids. I've said it before and here I go again. There is nothing wrong, inappropriate, sexual or traumatizing about a family in various stages of undress around eachother. In our house it is not only OK but basically a non issue. To each his own but we've got bigger fish to fry around here.

7 moms found this helpful

Our daughter would say Privacy when she was pretty young.

By the time she was 8, she did not want M. to help her wash her hair anymore, because she wanted privacy..

One problem we came across, was a little classmate came over for a playdate.. they were in 3rd grade.. she did not shut the bathroom door.

I was ok with this, but my husband would have been mortified.. So for those of you that do not close doors to change , undress, use the potty, PLEASE explain to your children, that out in public and as visitors in other peoples homes, to close the door..

6 moms found this helpful

Agree. I have to admit, I was kind of dumbfounded by the comment about a little girl walking around without a shirt. My daughter is going on eight, and still walks around in J. underpants. She is nowhere near developing. To M. personally it's not an issue of modesty. She is at home and is J. comfortable with herself and her body.

6 moms found this helpful

I think most girls will automatically stop doing it by about age 8, if not before, even though they still don't have any breast development.

At 5, I think it's fine. I wouldn't worry about it. These things usually take care of themselves at the appropriate time.

This society is so uptight about nudity. It's sad. I was J. watching some anthropological show showing women who wander around topless with their completely deflated breasts, and wondered how we got so weird about lumps of tissue that are meant for feeding children.

Still happy that mine don't look like that yet, though. ;)

5 moms found this helpful

My daughter is 4 and she will play in the house in only her underwear, no top or what have you. I have no problem with it, neither do my husband or other kids. If we are outside playing in water and she is not wearing a swimsuit and wants to take off her top because it is soaked, I also have no issue with it. She is 4. I think I insisted my older girls start wearing a top around 7 or so. Of course, right around that time they start to become conscious of themselves anyway. Since I have an older son (13), I do not walk in J. a bra or no bra. However, when they are still in bed, if I am getting ready for work and realize I forgot something in my room-and it is only 5 feet away anyway--I have run to my room to get whatever using my pj top as a shield. I also tell my husband to not walk freely in the house in his underwear when the kids are up.

5 moms found this helpful

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