How Old Is Too Old to Still Be Giving Kids Help with a Bath?

Updated on April 07, 2013
A.M. asks from Liberty, SC
24 answers

I have two girls (7&3). My oldest just turned 7 and I still help give her a bath. I help rinse her hair and watch to make sure she washes everywhere. For convinence I put both my kids in at the same time to save water and time. The kids have no problems w/ it. My husband says she is old enough to give herself a bath. So, when do I need to start letting her do this on her own and how do I know she is getting squeaky clean? :)

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A.S.

answers from Savannah on

I think most 7 year olds still need help washing their hair. It is wonderful that you are saving water.

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S.L.

answers from Columbia on

I just started letting my 4 year old bathe herself with some supervision. I still help her with her hair though, and we're working on showering by herself too, but that can be a bit tricky since she doesn't like opening her eyes around water. We're not rushing it though... she'll be ready to do it on her own soon enough.

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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

My seven year old and five year old daughters still like to bathe together. Most of the time they do the whole thing themselves. Sometimes they shower, but usually they bathe. I don't nag about whether or not they get every part clean, but I do make sure they washed and rinsed their hair. If they didn't get it completely rinsed, I send them back in. My boys started showering / bathing themselves around age 7. As for the "squeaky clean" part, I think it's more important they learn responsibility and independence than that they get squeaky clean. You may want to read the Love and Logic parenting books. They are wonderful. www.loveandlogic.com.

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S.J.

answers from Atlanta on

I think you are fine for now, but in the next few years of course she will probably want more privacy. I help my little one who is almost 5, but I let her do the bathing, and I just help with her hair.

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V.E.

answers from Atlanta on

At 7 she is capable of getting herself clean. If she wants help rinsing her hair then help with that. Otherwise a quick spot check is all that is necessary. Try to help build her self confidence in being able to do things for herself. You may want to have her assist in getting little sister clean.

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K.H.

answers from Columbus on

My oldest just turned 7 this past June, she begged me and begged me to let me allow her to be in charge of bathing herself and her 4 year old sister....we are a bath every night kind of family so it was a huge undertaking for her. I let her have a few trial runs, I showed her what I expected, completely rinsed hair, clean ears, etc. I showed them the things I did not expect, the horsing around in the shower and knocking each other down. I still come in to monitor unexpectantly at times when they don't expect it but I am truly amazed at how responsible my little girl has turned out to be.

Now my 18 month old is still mine for a couple of more years and I am going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts!!

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J.C.

answers from Columbus on

A.,
I don't have experience with this, but I am a teacher. So, I would first ask your daughter if she would like to learn how to bathe herself. If so, my advice is that you teach her each aspect of bathing one task at a time. For example, start with lathering up...show her how it is done and then see if she can do it herself. You can still monitor her while she is in the tub with her younger sister. That way you can feel confident that she is getting all of the parts. Once she is good at that, move on to rinsing, getting hair wet, shampooing, etc.. I hope this helps.

E.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Really how old it depends on each child...my baby which is 25 now started on his onw around 6 but left the door open in case something happen...I miss those days I was in the bathroom watching him play with his toys, etc Enjoy your girls as much as you can they grow up so fast and what is appropiate for a given child might not apply to yours

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I have an almost 7 yr old ,she takes showers most of the time , but I ask her if she's washed everything and I check her hair to make sure she has gotten all the soap out if I dont then she ALWAYS leaves the shower or bath with soap in her hair. and that just makes it dirtier faster.

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C.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I have three kids 9,6,& 2. I have them all shower together for the same reasons. The 9 year old has been reponsible about taking care of her self, but the 6 year old does need to be checked on b/c she would just play the whole time. If the girls are happy bathing together I would let them be.

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I have heard 8ish. I think it is up to the two of you. Not to discount your partner. He may have some observer info or intuition about it. Have you spoken with her and asked her why/if she prefers it?
I say go with your head and your gut! It sounds like great bonding is going on to me!

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I believe I stopped my boys at age 6 or 7 from bathing them and from baths. I taught them how to do it themselves and take a shower. If you want to graduate your 7yo, then just teach her while you help/watch and give her some pointers.

Now my current 10yo does great with showering, but my 9yo doesn't. I charge my 9yo if he comes out (and I know by smelling, see if he used his washcloth, etc.) and hasn't really bathed. He is getting better, but he can be lazy at times and still likes to play. I chalk that up to his learning disability as to acting younger than he is.

She is old enough to do this on her own. I'm sure she'll do quite fine! Go for it!

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R.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

Mine is still too young for this, but my own experience...I finally "rebelled" and started showering when I was like 8 years old. My mom, if I remember right, would make sure I rinsed my hair well enough, especially since I have SUPER thick hair. I would still bathe on occasion, but primarily stuck with showers. My sisters continued to bathe togther (they were 7 & 6 at that time) for a couple more years, but that was almost for company than convenience.

You should do what you feel is right. Maybe ask your daughter what she wants to do. Give her a test run of bathing or showering on her own & see how she does. If it doesn't go over so well, start giving her some pointers. Ultimately it's up to you.

Good luck & don't forget to wash behind the ears! :o)

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E.R.

answers from Phoenix on

By the age of 5 a child should be able to bathe them selves reasonably well, the only help they may need is with their hair, and back washing. As far as bathing together, they will let you know when they are not comfortable with it. don't worry about how clean they get, if they have a bath every other day the child will not put up a stink. Hope this helps.

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G.M.

answers from Columbia on

Keep them both in the same tub, you do the 3 yr. old and then let your daughter do herself while you dry and dress your little one. You can be teaching the little one how to wash and she will love it, then when she is done trying it for herself, you can bathe her correctly. Your 7 year old is way old enough to take her own bath and wash her own hair. Just tell her to wash everything good, try to get all the soap out of her hair and if she needs help with that then help her so her hair doesn't dry out, but she can do all the rest. She probably would like to be a big girl, so let her begin now.
It's never too early to teach children to be independent. One day they will leave you and you'll want them to be able to survive in the world, so start now, one thing at a time.
Everyone wins! Baths are great, huh?

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L.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Depends on the child. Trust your gut, you will get it right. I have friends that had a 4 year old that showered on her own. Mu 6 1/2 year old has just started. I would give her responsibility of helping with the 3 year old.

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J.S.

answers from Savannah on

Let the girls spend time together until the oldest mentions she needs her space. You can not create that bond on your own for them, and time slips away fast.

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M.R.

answers from Atlanta on

i think that 5 is plenty old to get a bath its self once in a blue moon let them take a bath together but only once in a blue moon take mine i have been a mother for 40 years almost 41 years and now i help my older doughter riase her kids she has smt aka sharko merie tooth a mucle problem.

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D.S.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I think it depends on the maturity of the child. My son is 5 years old. I used to sit with my son and help him, and then he just got to the point where he wanted to be independent and do it himself. So I watched him bathe to make sure he covered all areas and then just slowly let him do it all by himself. I would leave the door cracked and he would call me to check his hair for shampoo and I would peek in on him in between. Now he does it all by himself. He will get in and out by himself, put his towel in the laundry, comb his hair and brush his teeth.

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T.G.

answers from Savannah on

The best advice I can give you is to listen to your gut and your daughter. My 7 year old takes a bath alone and does everything herself but all she has is brothers. My younger sister and I took baths together until I was 8 or 9. My mom waited until I said I wanted to start taking baths alone and that's when it happened. Encourage her to do what she can but I say be there to help her with anything else.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

My sister and I started taking baths by ourselves (together) when I was 7 and my sister was 5. We were raised by our dad, and when I reached 7 my dad just started feeling a little weird about giving me a bath, so we gave ourselves one. Some of my ALL TIME FAVORITE memories from childhood are from bath-time!! We would stay in the bath for what seemed like FOREVER! (We used Ivory soap.... so we became "The Ivory Girls" and put on shows in the tub. LOL!) That much time in the bath....... we were always squeaky clean for sure! My opinion is, don't take away the girls' bath-time together until one of THEM (it will probably be the older one first) decides that she is too old to bathe with her sister. If you are worried about the 3 year old being in the bath alone with her sister (since she is only 3), maybe you could install one of those security camera's with audio ($50 bucks at walmart) in the bathroom so you can keep an eye on them. Or sit outside the door with a book or magazine just so you can listen. When we were young, we always had to sing.... that way the adults knew that we were okay. (of course we had no problem singing and laughing!!) Anyway..... just my 2 cents. :-) Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

7 year old is definetly able to bath self - if worried about not getting soap out of hair let her shower. Water conservation an issue - let her shower while she washes her hair (use a timer if you want) and let her fill the tub for her bath. You can put the younger one in the tub with the older. 3 year old should be able to wash self (may need help with hair), but being present to make sure everything gets washed is still important for this age.

My 4 year old gets a shower most every night alone and has for some time. My personal opinion - If they can fully dress themselves (buttons, zippers, etc) then they know how to put soap on a washcloth, wash their body, and rinse :)

Good luck!

~A.

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B.C.

answers from Augusta on

I say 7 is still young enough to bathe with her sister. She will probably let you know when she is ready for that to change. If you want to encourage independence in the tub, use a medicine cup and put shampoo in it for her so she does not use too much( same with conditioner). let her wash her own hair and check to be sure it is rinsed. as for cleanliness.....teach her how to wash and she will do it. girls dont like to be dirty.

:)

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S.J.

answers from Atlanta on

At 7 you can let her be. s not an age barrier thing, it is a common sense thing. If your child can clean her room, turn on the tv and find a station to watch-she can bathe herself. If you have to give it an age- I would say stop at 7. Byt that time they are in the first grade-not a baby anymore.

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