How Old Is a Great Ah to Start Daycare..

Daycare is not necessary for young kids. And I say this as a working mom who had both kids in daycare by 12 weeks old out of necessity.

When your child is 4 years old, I would suggest a good preschool to start to prep for school. But daycare is not needed, IMO.

Hopefully you spend a lot of time in parks or finding moms groups for your child to be around other kids, and you read to her. That is enough for a 1 1/2 year old.

As a former child care provider, I would recommend waiting until ages three or four and then, only a half-day preschool program. I say this given your ability to be a stay at home parent. This time is important for kiddos to just be learning (by playing, nothing else), spending time with mom and dad. You can read to her, sing to her, go on walks, create simple playtimes.... at this age they are just learning about their world.

Since someone else mentioned that you might be feeling challenged by your daughter's behavior, I would also suggest this site: http://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-article...

Try to keep your expectations in line with what your toddler can actually do and understand. I found that some child-proofing/changing the environment/changing my habits made things easier. (like, don't leave forbidden items in reach, for example; or instead of asking those polite "are you ready to go?" type questions- when they will obviously respond with "no"-- replace that with an authoritative "it is time to go". Sorry if this digresses from your original question a bit, but I will agree that daycare is not the solution for parenting challenges.

It sounds as though, from your other question, you may be wondering about toddlers, child development, behaviors, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable, and perhaps how to teach your child.

Discipline is teaching. It is not punishment. Discipline is when we teach them to hold our hands when they beg to walk alongside us in the parking lot. We hold their hands. We tell them that the cars may not be able to see them, and Mommy is here to protect them and make sure that we both get safely into the store. Punishment is when they let go of our hands and try to run free and they lose the privilege of walking like a big girl and they have to now be buckled into the shopping cart. Discipline is when we teach them that we sit politely in McDonald's and we don't throw food. Watch Mommy. Punishment is when they throw their french fries and start screaming and we remove them immediately from McDonald's and they don't get to play in the ball pit or go down the slide. Discipline is teaching, punishment is removal of privileges or dishing out consequences. The discipline must be clear and the punishment must be clear. This applies from the first time they figure out how to throw things and bang their heads until they get their driver's license and cell phones and are allowed to go out with friends.

And what's best for little kids is their parents' time, attention and love. Do you play with your child? Do you get on her eye level and quietly say "we will stop playing this game if you hit Mommy one more time"? And then do you follow through? If you're building with Duplos with her, and she pitches one at your head, do you quietly get up and walk away, and then return when she stops throwing them and resume the play? (This way she learns Mommy and I can play when I don't throw blocks at her head. Mommy doesn't play or talk with me when I throw stuff at her and scream.) Do you interact with her, play with blocks and dolls and cars and trucks and play-doh? Do you let her have a pot and a wooden spoon when you're making dinner, and do you engage her in conversation? When she hits or acts out, do you remove your attention and eye contact from her, and then resume when she takes a breath or stops for a second? Noticed behavior will increase, ignored behavior will decrease.

Do you have consistent rules and consequences, clearly established? Little ones don't understand "behave at the table". They can be taught to understand "don't throw food" or "don't bang your plate on the table". Little ones don't comprehend "get ready to go". They can be taught "go bring your shoes to me. I will help you put them on." One clear direction at a time, not a whole bunch of run-together directions. "Bring me your shoes and then we'll get your coat and do you have your blankie and oh where did I put my keys" will just confuse everybody.

If you're looking for interaction with other moms and kids, take a walk. Go to a park. Go to a library with her. A good day care will insist on some basic behavior standards, and you'll have to implement those same standards at home. So it's best to establish some good behavior patterns now, and then when she's older (3 or so) she can have the privilege of going to a little playgroup or day care and interact with other kids. But first, she needs the security of your clearly established discipline and consequences, delivered in a firm, loving, calm manner. Don't put her in daycare because you can't handle her. Put her in daycare when she's been taught how to behave and she's ready for some new friendships and it's nearly time for her to start pre-school, or because you, out of necessity, need a safe place for her to stay during the day (there are lots of valid reasons for daycare - a sick sibling, a difficult pregnancy, the need to work for income, an established career, work requirements and odd hours, having to care for an elderly or ill family member, no other kids to play with at all due to location, etc., but behavior problems are not a good reason).

We started our son at two, out of necessity. He was a late talker, but within a couple months of starting was combining words. It was great for him. Our daughter started off as an infant, but it was also a good experience for her.

Honestly, I would save your money and just hold off until preschool age (3+) unless there's a specific reason you think she'd benefit from it. It's extremely expensive.

I think it depends on the child's personality as well. Some need/want that interaction, some not so much. As long as you're having play dates and teaching her I don't think it's necessary. Those early years are so precious, enjoy her. Some churches have "Mom's day out" programs which are a few days a week until noon. That might be a good option...

My husband and both work full time. We knew we would have our son in daycare. Having said that we delayed as long as we could doing a combination of care by his grand parents and a manny until he was 15 months old. We wanted him to have individual attention and to have a more robust immune system/ constitution before he started. For is that was 15 months with our first and hopefully as long with the second.

Our boy thrived in daycare and enjoyed the structure and interaction. I hope the same proves true for your daughter.

F. B.

I put both my kids into Monday Wednesday Friday morning preschool 9am to noon when they were 3 years old. It gave me a little break/time to work and they got good socialization time with fun activities. At age 19 months and younger I would do an hour swap with a friend where we would watch each other's babies a couple times a week. Also around that age with my 2nd child (My first was in school) I hired a part time caregiver who watched my child and my friend's child for 2 mornings a week. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and need a little break and there is nothing wrong with that. If you do decide to go back to work full time then I think this is the time to use a day care. There is nothing wrong with this either if that is what you need to do.

I'm not saying daycare is bad for kids, but daycare is not better than a stay-at-home parent. As a stay-at-home parent it is important to socialize your child and expose your child to a variety of activities and experiences. A combination of nursery school a couple afternoons a week (starting at age 3), playgroups, library story time and fun outings (zoo, museum, swimming, park etc) with mom are much preferable to daycare. I don't think anyone puts their child into daycare if they don't need to.

I just read your first question and it seems you are looking to dump your child on someone else and expect them to discipline her.

Most children start preschool around 3 or so and the younger ones usually start because both parents are working. I suggest that you get a handle on your child's behavior before sending her to daycare.

It's not easy being a parent. Teaching a toddler to behave takes lots of time, patience and constant repeating yourself.

You are a SAHM and a frustrated one at that. Most all moms go through a period of frustration.

Do you not have any mom groups in your area? It's healthy for moms to meet with their children so mom can socialize too.

Try meet up if you don't know anyone.

Before I just placed her in daycare, I'd do things with her such as mom and me classes.

If you feel like you are not cut out to be a SAHM, it's ok. Get a job part or full time and put her in moms day out or a daycare.

She is your priority so seek guidance with professionals so you can be the best mom you can be.

Daycare is a great option for working parents. Not sure why your baby would need it? This time goes so fast. Enjoy the time together while you can! Snuggle, read, play, explore the world through your baby's eyes. If she needs socialization go to library programs or mom's groups or parent child classes at the YMCA. If you need a break, maybe you could trade off sitting with a friend or hire a great sitter. She will be in school at 4 and you will never get this time back.

well, no, there's no need to put a healthy happy toddler in day care. i only put mine there because i worked and had to. i would much rather have kept them at home.
kids don't 'need' any sort of institutionalized care if they have parents at home who are doing healthy happy things with them.
it sounds more like YOU want her in daycare than something she needs.
if your home life is unhealthy and unhappy, then yeah, it's probably good to get her out of there, so now is no worse a time than any.
but i think your focus is off. i'd look more toward making your home a great place to raise children than to get them out for their own good.
khairete
S.

if you don't need a daycare then don't bother with it. preschool programs and other weekly activities will help and assist with socialization.all i did with my kids was morning story time at the library 1x a week. (then off to grandmas so mommy could have a few hours to grocery shop and have lunch with a friend.. mommy recharge time)

so see what programs you local park district has and what kinds of activitied your local library does and get involved in something. (this may assist with the out of controll behavior as well since your child may be bored with you and is probably lashing out since shes young and does not understand her emotions yet.

Kids need friends and socialization and opportunities to state to separate a little from Mom/Dad in order to bond with other caregiver adults. That doesn't mean day care necessarily. If you have the money, it's fine to pursue it, as long as you understand that you pay for it all year round, whether you take the day off or not, whether he's sick or not, whether you're on vacation or not. A day care provider cannot fill a slot you don't use part of the time, so she/he loses income. So it's a commitment and not a drop-in setting.

I was a stay at home parent, and I did not use day care. I joined a mother's group through the Newcomers Club (but there are many other sources like Ys and community centers and churches and libraries....), and we had a weekly play date, alternating houses among 6-7 women. The kids got to play with the same kids every week, but in a different house - so they got used to going into new places and learning to share their toys (sometimes a challenge!). Eventually, different moms traded off babysitting, which was great for an extra play date and some free time for the mom who was "off". Another day of the week, we did story hour at the library. That's where my son learned to sit in a circle and interact with another adult in a teaching role. We went to a children's museum or nature center 1-2 times a month (we got a membership so it was worth it even if he just wanted to stay for an hour), and there were always other kids there. We went to a playground at least once a week, weather permitting, and often he ran into other kids there. We also did stuff with kids/families in the neighborhood, in 2s and 3s. So he had plenty of chances to socialize and interact with others.

Day care - some people use it at 6 weeks, others at 12 weeks (depends on whether they had kids while covered by the family leave act and what they could manage without pay from their jobs). Other people never use it, and start their kids in a little drop-in preschool. I volunteered in a community center, and they didn't have regular "preschool" until 2 years and up. There was a weekly play group where the parent stayed, just to get the child used to the building and staff. At 2, they went into a 2-morning-a-week preschool room, and at 3 they could go 3 mornings a week. And so on.

It's important to remember that these "schools" should NOT be about academics! Kids learn through play, so I feel strongly (as do most educators) that early childhood education should be play-based. If they learn to separate from Mom/Dad and trust that a parent will come back to get them, if they learn a little about being in a group and negotiating their own space without whacking the other kid on the head, if they develop fine and gross motor skills through play, it's a good program!

So figure out what your goals are, and make sure they are reasonable for a child that age.

Sounds like now is a good time, drop her 2 mornings a week, will be good for both of u. Ignore the judge-y answers, many SAHMs send their kids to an in home day care so they can socialize w other kids and learn to respect other adults and then you can food shop, fold laundry, run to store easily, maybe exercise, shower, go to dentist etc. all moms need a break.

I think kids do fine in child care. I have years of experience in that field and I have owned my own center where I had over 50 kids enrolled.

Millions of moms have to go to work as soon as the baby is 6 weeks old. Kids do fine in child care.

I think I would call around and go check out some centers. Home child care won't give you what your child needs. A home child care won't have the same sort of pre-school curriculum, will only have 3-4 kids all day, and they just don't have what I think you're looking for.

Honestly, if I had a toddler I would wait until they were around 2 to start them in a pre-school type class. They will have a more formal daily schedule, do more structured lessons, have circle time each day, and they'll be much less of a babysitter than a class situation. They still play and have fun but they also have some structure where they sit at the table and do things like coloring, crafts, and things.

Can I also suggest that you find a local Methodist Church and see if they have a Mother's Day Out program. This is a great thing for stay at home moms because it's part time, they will let you enroll your kiddo in a day or several days. They offer different programs where you can do half day, 9am-noon, they come, play, do stuff, go home. You feed them at home and nap them. Then there are versions where they do 10am-3pm, they come, play, do stuff, eat a lunch you provided for them, lay down and nap, wake up, have a snack, go home.

You get to choose so much. There might also be programs like this at other churches. Our Baptist church has a similar program but they call it something else. The Christian Church has almost the same exact program but they have it on opposite days as the Methodist Church.

They aren't expensive either. I took the kids to the all day one 2 days per week. I arranged my doc appointments and did all the shopping while they were gone. I got to have peace and quiet at Walmart and was able to get everything done in a short time.

I loved Mother's Day Out. It might be the perfect program for you. Not every day and a good short term program.

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