How Often Do You Go Out??

Updated on September 19, 2013
J.K. asks from Tempe, AZ
30 answers

To all parents with young kids,how often do you get a night out alone?(Besides the kids being at school)

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A.C.

answers from Huntington on

I guess it depends on what "night out alone" means.
A night out with husband? Maybe once every 6 months.
A night out with friends (girls only)? Again, once every 6 months
A night out ALL BY MYSELF? Several times a week. If by "night out" you mean going to the grocery store without kids, or going to the gym without kids, which does feel like an indulgence unfortunately! Usually I will drive the super long way to and from to stretch it out!

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S.L.

answers from Grand Junction on

we have been blessed with grandparents very close by who are very active and love having the kids. Both of them work but they are just so flexible :)

We probably do 2-5 times a month depending on the month and get at least 1-2 weekend days without them for the day because they are at the zoo or something with grandma and grandpa.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I'd say, my husband and I get a sitter at least 1-2 times a month on average. I'd also say average about one night out a week to meet up with a friend for drinks or something similar. Sometimes I'll have a string of weeks where we/I don't really have anything like that scheduled; a week like this week and I have had a date with husband, beers out with a girlfriend, and a back to school night. Which feels like a LOT.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

I read this as "how often do you put out??"

About as often as we go out... :(

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

You mean you're supposed to go out without your kids?
Like...never pretty much.
Not complaining either for the record.

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J.C.

answers from Columbus on

Yeah, I'm in the 'never' camp. 1. no money 2. no nearby relatives. So we just suck it up. It doesn't bother me most times.

Although, our 10 year anniversary is coming next month. We'd better at least go out to dinner! Dammit.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Go out?

What is this "going out" of which you speak?

I cannot remember the last time we did a night out alone. We are much more likely to take a day off from work every once in a while and do lunch/movie during the day....

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R..

answers from San Antonio on

Go out...alone?? I have almost forgotten what that is like...lol.

Actually, I used to go out to dinner or coffee with a girlfriend about twice a month. My husband encourages me to do so...sometimes he prefers if I help get the kids to bed first...if he has had a rough day...otherwise he is like go, go.

The really hard one that almost never happens is my husband and I going out alone without the kids. Babysitters are so expensive ($30.00) before we even walk out the door, then if we go out to dinner another $30.00...and then if we wanted to go to a movie then the sitter would probably be at least 40.00 plus dinner and a movie another $55.00...so almost a hundred dollars for an evening out. We just don't have funds for that right now.

If I go out with a girlfriend I maybe spend ten bucks...on a coffee or coffee and dessert.

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H.P.

answers from New York on

I go out once a week without the kids. Twice a month for date night with the hubby and twice a month for GNO. Sometimes the GNO ends up as wine and snacks at someones house after the kids are in bed (could even be at my house) but most times it is dinner out somewhere. I stay at home with my three kids and my husband travels ALOT for work. We don't have a nanny and are living in London England, so no family close by. I am with the kids all week solo and sometime even on the weekends if he is traveling. This is one way for me to maintain my mommy sanity!!!

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Totally alone...never. Date night with hubby....it's been months. We moved to a new area a few months ago and haven't found a new sitter. Grandparents are all 15 hours away.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

My kids are 6 and 3.
Do you mean go out ALONE? My alone-alone time is my shower, or the gym (oldest in school, youngest does the children's play area in the gym). Occasionally I'll go see a "grown up" movie alone or go get a coffee and read, but no more than once a month, and probably a little less than monthly. But I have a ladies Bible study I go to weekly, and the kids go to their Awanas meetings at the same time. And I go to a club for "girl night out" or another event they're having, a couple times a month.
If you mean date with my husband? That used to be great: every week, then every other week, then monthly.......not it's just monthly. He's been recuperating though and just doesn't have the energy or desire to get out much. It isn't optimal (it's why I joined the club 2 weeks ago) but it's a medical thing and can't really be helped. We do go out once a month on a proper "real" date though and that's important to us. Fortunately, our kids are young and go to bed early so we have quiet time every evening that we do spend together. I think it's a bit of a trade off: when our kids are young it's an issue to find a sitter and pay for her, have everything ready ahead of time for everyone, blah blah....BUT they go to bed at 8-8:30 so we have a couple hours a night that are just us, and we make the most of that time to reconnect, talk, etc. When they get older, they'll stay up later but it'll be easier to go out once a week or so because they'll be occupied with their own things and won't need a sitter (may be at a friend's house or whatever). That's the theory at least. :P

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L.B.

answers from New York on

With one kid, after he turned a year, once or twice a month. Now that kid #2 is five months, I hope we will start again soon. I feel nervous leaving two kids, but I want to get over it. Going out is so important! And I don't have family nearby either, so we have to pay for sitters.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

As in date night? My husband and I don't go out much without the kids. It's too expensive to go out and also have to pay for a sitter. Recently, however, now that our niece is living at a dorm at a college near us, we (hubby, kids and I), are taking her out weekly meaning hitting the town, going site seeing, restaurants, people watching, and music events. I must be getting old because I am finding all of this going out just exhausting:( I am so use to being a homebody. In fact, I was just telling my husband this morning that going out weekly like this is getting to be too much for me as well as our kids.:(

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Alone, almost never. I spend a lot of time away from my family during the week so I make it a point to spend my spare time with one or all of them. It doesn't bother me, though, because quite frankly I find girl time stressful instead of relaxing. I can stitch and -itch at home alone very well which is something I have been adding back into the night time routine after the kids go to bed. Some nights I focus on my husband and other nights we are together but doing our own things.

With my husband, once or twice a week. BUT we don't actually leave home. We hustle the kids off to bed in a truncated bedtime routine; he handles the routine for our the toddler while I handle our baby. Then we regroup after story time to a picnic I lay out on the coffee table (cheeses, crackers, bread, fruits, fondue, seafood, whatever adult fancy food which is not kid appealing) or my husband picks up a take away meal we eat at the coffee table. The informality of eating on the floor at the coffee table and chatting without the kids climbing all over us and making buckets of noise is great. We can eat slowly, enjoying each other and our meal. It works for us because we don't have to dress up and plan. Also it saves us the cost of a babysitter which causes the date nights to be too expensive for our tastes. We want to unwind as a couple and can do that very well at home in the quiet aftermath of bedtime for a cheap price. We have also been known to bundle the kids into the car right around nap time. As the kids sleep we pull through a coffee place, grab a nice coffee and drive around the fancy neighborhoods. We gab and dream while the kids nap peacefully.

Finding time is a matter of creativity and flexibility. I don't think it needs to elaborate; simple is often best and effective. I think back to all the things we did as a couple before kids. Often times what I miss most is the quiet nothingness of planning our future together so that's what I strive to keep going in our stolen moments.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Alone? Does that exist? Never. The last time we did anything as a couple was for our anniversary 2 or 3 years ago. Went to dinner and the home. No movie or anything else.

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J.S.

answers from Phoenix on

We try to go out every 2 months or so. Usually we pick a night that we only have our daughter (other 5 kids at their other houses) and we will get a babysitter or ask my MIL to watch her.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

This was one reason why we waited till our 30's to have kids.
We did enough going out and traveling before we had our son that we didn't want to do much by the time we had him.
When our son was in school and I worked a 4 day work week and my husband had every other Friday off, we'd do a lunch date or see a movie if a good one was playing.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

When my kids were tiny, like babies, I didn't go out unless it was my anniversary or we were going to a wedding. I was a working mom and didn't do evening time away from my babies. My MIL never understood why I kept turning down her offers to babysit so that we (dh and I) could go and see a movie in the evening after work.)
As they got a little older, I had book club one night a month. Date nights with movies and restaurants were not in our budget so Dh and I really only went out alone for our anniversary and Valentines day. I occasionally had dinner with my sister or a movie with friends.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I go do stuff whenever I need to. Hubby is quite able to manage the kids while I go get grocery's or go to a class or meeting. I just say "I'm going to the store, you have the kids" then I leave.

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a single parent...and I mean single , there is me and only me! lol I rarely get out ever! I used to not mind so much but, sometimes I could really use some time. Sometimes I feel my daughter resents me trying to have any individual time...she isn't used to it!
I would say "couples" should try and take the time for eachother at least once a week...maybe a date night so to speak.
Don't make the same mistake I did, get them used to letting you have your own time. Even if you just stay home and watch a movie..you and your kids deserve the time apart! :)

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Not very often. My cousin was just in town, so I went to visit with her and left hubby in charge.

I go shoot weddings and that is my time away and to myself.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Our daughter just started college so right now we are out more!

When I was pregnant, we made sure that our weekly date night would not be compromised unless someone was sick, etc. We continued weekly date night and we still go on weekly date night. We feel it is important to maintaining a good relationship.

We put that weekly $$ in our budget, we had good sitters and we paid sitters about $60-$100 a week for our date night.

When our daughter got old enough, she started babysitting for others and she usually babysits at least 1 night a week and brings in at least $60-$100 a weekend night (or day)... dates can be daytime too!!

As for alone time, I was in a neighborhood bunco group about 10 years and we played once a month, I lunch with my best girlfriend at least once a week.

I know it is tough and expensive to make it work but we felt like it was a priority for our relationship and so far it has worked... daughter is almost 19 and we've been married 25 yrs.

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L.M.

answers from Orlando on

we have every other weekend because my daughter goes to her dads house then. but when she is home we never really go out w/out her unless it is something really important that can't be rescheduled (work events, etc)

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C.R.

answers from Kansas City on

About once every 6 months

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'm way past this now, but i tell you true, if i hadn't had my horse when my kids were small, i'm not sure i (or they) would have gotten out alive! i worked all the frickin' time, including cleaning stalls to pay for her board, but she was also my 'me' thing, my sanity salvation. i made time to ride her 2-5 times per week. so while i didn't go out with friends hardly at all, i did take that 'selfish' time for me, and i don't regret it one bit. often it meant riding in the middle of night, but that was okay.
khairete
S.

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Alone just me or alone with my husband? I try to get out alone at least a couple of times a month while the kids stay home with my husband. My husband and I only get out together a couple of times a year, usually for a weekend away. I'm too cheap to hire a sitter.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

As needed... We have gone several months with not much going on and then realize we need a night out. It also goes in spurts depending on events we have. Went out by ourselves for anniversary, then a few couples went out for a friends birthday, then we got an invite from a few couples at school. It seems to go in spurts but I don't like to go more than 3 mos or so without a mommy/daddy night out. Even if it isn't just us alone. And we have no family so yes, we pay a sitter everytime but it helps keep our sanity even more so since we really never get a break!

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

When they were pre-school age, Almost never.

Around school age we did a trade with a couple other parents and it bumped up to about four times a year. Now that we have found a babysitter, though, we may up that date night is once a month:)

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Never. I homeschool too! About two years ago I was in a book club, and I may start that back up again, but to be honest, hanging out with a bunch of ladies isn't "alone time." I find it stressful!

My mom does take the older kids for me from time to time, every 6 weeks or so. So I will get a few hours to myself (when baby sleep).

I'm waiting for baby to no longer breastfeed so hubby and I can do a make up dinner out for his bday (baby came two days before his bday, so we didn't get to celebrate his bday as I had planned). I figure in about 7 more months we can hit the city without the kids and go to our favorite restaurant!

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M.S.

answers from Salinas on

Like once every 2-3 months.

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