42 answers

How Not to Struggle with a 6 Year Old Every Morning Before School?

I been very frustrated and not looking forwarding during school week to wake my son up to get him ready to go school.
He always, always fights with me and tells me he is tired, he's cold and he would end up raising his voice saying I am mean..
Every morning! After I dragged him into bathroom to have him brush his teeth, hair, he would slam the door and stays there for awhile, then he comes out alright then its easier to take him to school..
What can I do in the mornings to be able have him up without fighting!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I found a new trick and it seems works wonder..
I set my alarm at 6 am.. Slowly waking him up and I go enjoy my coffee for about 15 mins, go wake him again and I have his clothes and shoes on the bed, I go back into the living room to contiune enjoying my coffee and by 6 30 to 6 45 every morning, he comes out to the living room fully dressed.. He always been dressed by 7, he knows I wld take him school in pj because I almost did once as mothers here shared me her ideas!
I don't argue with him anymore, I made sure he has his space and me enjoy my coffee every mornings, it works great! He never overslept past 7 am for somwe reason, and OH yep, he has a clock in his room too.
Thanks again for all your help!

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I had to struggle with my oldest daughter. What I did is that I had her pick out her clothes and set her stuff (tooth brush face cloth etc...) out so when she woke up. She was ready to go. Don't know why this worked for her, but it worked well.


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How do you go about waking him up?Do you just go in, throw the covers back and tell him it's time to get up? My daughter always has a little tickle session that includes some good morning kisses and wakes her son up slowly and in a good mood. When I have him, I rub his back a little and have a glass of juice for him to drink and ask what he wants for breakfast. He always wants an extra five minutes to sleep, so I give him that while I make his breakfast. When it's time to eat he never complains about getting up because he's had his extra five minutes (sometimes it's only three, but what does he know?). After he eats, it dress, brush teeth and hair and we're ready to go. You just have to start early enought so nobody is screaming to rush. As for slamming the door. If you let him get away with that action not, he'll do it all his life. He needs to learn to control his temper. He needs to learn that action is not acceptable in the house and he should be punished when he does it. He'll learn, it just takes a little time.

I have 3 boys, and getting them all up and out of bed to there they were actually making progress toward going to school was quite the challenge. What I found worked for me was to have something fun that they liked to do (play video games, get on the computer, watch TV, etcetera ….) And as soon as they were 100% ready to walk out the door, they could have free time and do something fun till it was time to go.

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Hi L. - I couldn't help but want to respond to your question since I have a new Kindergarten child that has been in preschool and we've had these same issues. Here's some things we do to make the morning easier:
1) I took a course in Love and Logic Parenting a few years ago. You can google that to find the website. They talk alot about not having control fights with your kids, you are in control. One suggestion they gave went something like this (which we've done successfully): Daughter, the car leaves at 8:50 and you will be in it. You can choose if you are going to wear school clothes or still be in your PJ's with stinky teeth. We went through the morning and I would remind her once, "put on clothes", "brush your teeth", etc. 5 minutes to go and nothing. I said load up in the car and she still had on PJ's, burst into tears and said she couldn't go to school like that. I responded kindly (not irritated)"that's so sad, you had a moment to get dressed but you still have 5 minutes so whatever you can do in 5 minutes is good with me". She ran off changed, came to the car fully dressed and we've hadn't argued about it since. I have friends that went through this process and even took kids to school in PJ's. Just put their clothes in a sack because they will want to change before going to class. We've done this with church too.
2) This year, I went to Lowe's and bought a hanging bag labled with the days of the week for her clothes. I put all of her clothes in it on Sunday night. She has an order to which things are done: clothes, socks, shoes, breakfast, teeth brushed, then, if time, special hair do or cartoons. But, my car leaves when my car leaves and it's up to her to get through the process. She always has on clothes but we've left without breakfast, without hair-do, whatever. I don't stress over it.

The fear is that when we don't have our children perfect, packed and on-time that we fail as parents. So, we stress, yell and complain and end up in a tug a war that can't be won. I loved the advice from Love and Logic cause it says simply, your the parent, you won't fight about this, and they will learn to make a good choice which will follow them for their lives.

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I had to struggle with my oldest daughter. What I did is that I had her pick out her clothes and set her stuff (tooth brush face cloth etc...) out so when she woke up. She was ready to go. Don't know why this worked for her, but it worked well.


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I got the greatest advice on this very subject when my daughter was 5 from a Montessori teacher in the form of a parenting book called The Practical Parent by Geneive Painter. I think it is no longer in print but I will try to give a synopsis.
1. Discuss with him that he is now old enough to get himself ready for school and that you also need to get yourself ready, etc. etc.
2. Take him to the store and buy him an alarm clock all his own that is simple that he can work by himself with a simple on off alarm button.
3. Discuss how long he needs to get ready and what time you will be leaving the house each day.
4. Set his alarm and put his clothes within easy reach for him to manage. Put things that he can mix and match himself and give up worrying about perfection. Give him the control of that. (as much as possible)
5. Tell him that it is now his job to get up when his alarm goes off and get ready, that you will no longer be reminding him.
6. Give the consequence: If you are not ready on time Mom will have a bag with clothes in it and you will have to get dressed in the car or will go to school in your pajamas. (talk to teacher if necessary in case this should ever happen, but I bet it doesn't)
7. Begin the new procedure. Make it fun and positive. That you are so proud at how big and independent he is.
This worked great for me for about two weeks and then one morning I heard my daughter turn off her alarm and go back to sleep. YOU CAN NOT REMIND OR INTERFERE WHEN THEY MESS UP! If you do you are right back fussing and nagging and begging them to get ready.
You must follow through with the consequence of calmly but firmly putting them in the car in their pajamas.
My daughter screamed all the way. You can not react. Just calmly state that you are so sorry they did not get ready.
8. It will rarely if ever happen again. My daughter became completely responsible and independent and our mornings were never a problem again.
Instead of you having all the responsiblity it puts the ball in their ball park and makes everything so much healthier for everyone.
Good luck!

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I had many difficult mornings with my son at that age. I know it's hard to get into the school routine after summer vacation so I gave him a few weeks to adjust. When things didn't get better I started putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier and let him pick out an alarm clock for his room. That made all the difference. He's 14 yrs old now and knows he is slow to wake up. He sets his alarm 15 minutes earlier than he needs so he can snooze and wake up slowly.

A friend of mine had the same problem with her daughter. What worked for them was to wake her daughter up with something to drink, like chocolate milk or juice, and she turned the bedroom tv on. She gave her about 15 minutes to drink her milk or juice and watch tv before it was time to get ready for school. That seemed to work for them.

Well, I am going through the same thing with my 4 1/2 year old son so I do not have the perfect answer. I have noticed on days when I do not wake up with enough time or do not wake them up with enough time things become extra tense. Mornings are hard and I hate to wake up my peacefully sleeping children but if I can get them up with a full hour to get the two of them fed, dressed and ready for school, things usually go okay and I can get the morning accomplished without having to raise my voice.

My first instinct based on what you shared is that he sounds really tired. Maybe try an earlier bedtime for a week and see if that does the trick. I remember reading that kids age 5-6 still need from 10-12 hours of sleep per night.

It could also be that he would benefit from a list of things to do in the morning before school. Having it written down and following it like a steady and predictable routine might help, too.

Good luck! Hang in there! :)

Hi L.,
I don't have problems in the morning, mine is after school.I've done the reward chart.Possibly it can work for mornings.My son is eight and loved it.Get the colorful stickers and discuss w/your child that every morning for a whole week that he earns a sticker that there will be a reward at the end of the week.It doesn't have to be a big reward maybe something he enjoys to do,ride his bike around the block w/you,play time at the park or maybe a $2.50 happymeal.The alarm clock idea is a good one too.Have him pick it out help him set the time and show him how to turn it off.Things like that excite most children.
I start the routine of bedtime at 7:30 shower,brush teeth and off to bed by 7:50 and hes out by 8.Getting enough sleep for children should be very important cause not enough sleep for someone the age of six can be very stressfull for anyone having to deal w/a sleepy grouchy child.OHH and no naps after school that can delay bedtime.Very important NO NAPS instead find ways to exzert him durring the day so he'll fall asleep tired when bedtime comes around.GOOD LUCK!!

First, this really helped me deal with my stepdaughter when she was six and the SAME way!!
1. I made her bedtime at 7:30pm Sun-Thurs. Yes, it's early, but kids this age really need at least 10 hours of sleep a night!! She would wake up refreshed each day. This works for my 5 year old son too.
2. Menus- They pick what they for the week on a chart. Oh, you don't want waffles today? That is what you picked, eat it!
I also put school snack and school lunch on the same chart. They pick on Sunday night and thats it.
3. They can either sleep in their clean school clothes (my SD loved this) or I would recommend a closet organizer with clothes for the week in it (my son loves this).
4. I make them brush teeth just before bed. I'm not too worried about before school, it's just another kink in the morning.
5. Wake up is at 6:00am. Dressed by 6:30 (gives them time to wake up), breakfast between 6:30 and 7:00 and out the door at 7:15. IF AND ONLY IF breakfast is DONE by 7, they get to watch cartoons for 15 minutes before leaving the house. (no, they don't scream, we would "practice" and I would tell them, "okay, this is what 15 minutes is like" and turn of the TV after 15 minutes and explain that they would not get to finish a cartoon and it's too bad because it will be on again next time. If they do throw a fit, no TV at all for the next day) Believe it or not, it was acceptable and now, we very rarely turn the thing on anymore! Now its just play with cars or something before school.

None of this is guaranteed, but it sure works for me. Yes, they will still have their days when nothing is going to work, but at least it's not EVERY morning now! It did take about 2 weeks to get used to the new ways though! Good luck.

Not everyone can just jump out of bed. Wake him up a few minutes before he really has to get up. Give him time to adjust. Maybe put some music on for him. I'm not a morning person and I don't get up very easily until I have had a few minutes of "snooze" time. That way, by the time it is time for him to get up - he still may fight you - but he is more awake and you won't be rushing around too much. Hope that helps. After he has had some time to ajust - then there are no exceptions. He has to get up.

I found that with my kids, get them their own alarm clock & set it & let them be mad at the clock instead of you when they are awakened, it sure worked for me & also I played soft music while they were getting ready for school & that seemed to keep them calmed down. We had five children & those things worked pretty well. Good luck with your boys. W.

Do not argue with him. Before he goes to bed at night tell him what is expected of him when he gets up in the morning. Let him know that when he wakes he is expected to perform his morning routine without arguing with you. If he tries to argue, talk to him in a calm manner and tell him over and over what he needs to do. Yelling only feeds into what he is trying to do. Anger you. Our children know how to push our buttons. How many times have you been on the phone or busy doing something, and he calls you over and over? (He has not said a word to you until he sees you are busy.) "Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama." You then stop what you are doing and find out what he wants. Do him the same way. "Brush your teeth." (camly) "Brush your teeth." If you say it enough, you just might be able to turn the tables.

My ex-roommate went through this with both of her children. Her oldest was 5yrs when he started this with her. Instead of taking control of the situtation she let it continue. He's now 15yrs and refuses to get up in the morning. He was late to school so many times that he was put in an alternative school. That didn't help. He was late to alternative school as well and is now going to some type of alternative to public school. He goes from 1pm to 5pm. He will get his high school diploma, but it's one step up from a G.E.D. Her youngest is about to be 8yrs and does the same thing. She feeds into the arguing and then babies him. When the youngest first started school, he was great in the morning. Then he seen what his brother could do, and he did it too.
Hope this helps.

We use a timer at home on the evenings of school nights. I set the timer at 6:30 p.m. for 30 minutes. At 7:00 p.m., the tv gets turned off and we start to wash up. When we're done washing up, we get ready for bed. If he's had a good day at school, he gets a story read to him. If he gets a folder mark, no story just prayers.

My son will be 6 in January. We usually get him up at 5:30 a.m. We let him stay up late on Friday and Saturday nights.

Good Luck.


I also have a 6 year old who can be difficult at times to get up in the morning to the point that she says she doesn't like school and wants to stay home with me. We just reinforce that she has such a great time at school and all of her friends will be there. My husband is usually the first to get up so he will go in and turn on her light but say nothing, then we will turn on the morning news and create enough noise to rouse her. We have also given her responsibilities in the morning like making her own breakfast. I'm not sure that any of this may work for your son and you, but it seems to make mornings a little more peaceful for us. We still have the occasional battle, but early bedtime seems to resolve this.

I have 3 boys, and getting them all up and out of bed to there they were actually making progress toward going to school was quite the challenge. What I found worked for me was to have something fun that they liked to do (play video games, get on the computer, watch TV, etcetera ….) And as soon as they were 100% ready to walk out the door, they could have free time and do something fun till it was time to go.

Tonight have a talk with him - tell him you're frustrated, that you HATE fighting with him in the mornings and it makes your morning as bad for you as it does for him. ASK him what the 2 of you can do so it doesn't happen. Let him be part of the solution. Write down all of the ideas - his AND yours. Make the decision together. Also make him aware that there'll be consequences if he doesn't follow thru. One consequence my son had was that if he wasn't dressed when it was time to go, he'd have to go to school in his pj's. It only happened once. And don't yell, don't fight, don't you said him to death. Just let it go. I also wrote up a contract - typed it and everything - that the both of us signed. It had what he would do and he definately had suggestions on what I should do - no nagging, no yelling, etc. Put them in there with YOUR consequences too.

With your 16 year old, you may want to text him from time to time. I'm finding it's working with my 14 yr. old daughter who stays sequestered in her room. information with some emotion - it's time for dinner, I'd love to see your handsome face - I could use your big strong muscles to help me move the table....those sort of things. Good luck!!

Try talking about it the night before. Have him help you lay everything and prepared for the morning routine. Then, tell him he can either go to bed early or wake up on time. Of course he won't want to go to bed early. So, when you go to wake him up in the morning, remind him that if he doesn't get up he will be going to bed extra early tonight. If he still throws a fuss say "Uh-oh!" Looks like someone is going to bed really early tonight and follow through. After about a week he'll get the idea! Good luck!

Hello L.,

One question would be "How are you waking him up?" Maybe try a different method. Sometimes the method changes depending on the morning. A compromise I've done with my son (just turn 7 this past Sunday) is if he is cold then he can sit up in the bed and put the blanket over his shoulders while he gets dressed but he can't lay back down or he'll lose that the following morning or he'll lose his cartoon time. Sometimes I will have the dog wake him up where she is jumping on the bed and licking his face sometimes he thinks this is funny other times mommy comes in for the rescue and has our dog go back downstairs. Some mornings I even have little people(my fingers) running on his back which with him being very tickleish makes him laugh and he's up and moving. I usually will ask him what he wants for breakfast and give him a few choices, then say ok while you finish getting dressed mommy will go get your breakfast ready for you. This helps to also cut off any crying or frustration he's having in the morning. You may also want to try changes his bed time to 30 minutes earlier and see if that helps as well. Some mornings will just be hopeless but if the others go well then it won't be as stressful. Just a few things I've tried. Some will work some may not but don't be afraid to experiment. If he likes to be fast tell him the night before that your going to time him and let's see if you can beat it the next morning. You'll have to play with it a little and see what works for your son.
Good Luck
M. :)

I have a 7 year old son and he has had a hard time this year at school for the first time ever. He usually fights me in the mornings but he uses tears up and tells me how much he hates school when he has always loved it before. I let him help me pick his clothes out at night. I let him help make his own lunch or pick stuff out for it and I let him tell me if he wants his hair combed over (like superman) as he calls it or if he wants the front spiked up a bit. (I don't go in for the all over spiking or mohawk looks so I try to keep with something we can all except) The are all things I've done that help him except that he has to go to school. He is also riding the bus for the first time ever this year and that has been a hard adjustment for him. So are there any changes in your son's life besides a new school year? Also maybe you could check out your son's teacher and how they run their day in the classroom. Hope these suggestions help.

I myself go through the same thing with my 5 year old daughter everymorning. I feel terrible starting the day off like that. I don't like sending her to school that way. We always seem to be OK when we get in the car. If you get any responses, please let me know.

Is it possible to move his bedtime to an earlier time? What about just waking him up and letting him get himself ready? If you make him responsible for his own actions, he may surprise you and be ready when you ask.

My daughter went through this in 3rd grade. After fighting with her for almost a month I finally told her that I wasn't going to fight with her any longer. The next morning I woke her up and reminded her that she needs to get dressed, brush hair and wash her face by X time for breakfast and then we'd be leaving at X time. Needless to say she did NOT get out of bed, missed breakfast, and went to school in her pajamas. I left her clothes with her teacher and explained why she was still in pajamas. The shock and embarrassment my daughter felt that morning was enough to be the constant reminder to get up and get moving in the morning without fighting.

It's drastic, but it works! For me, our morning routine was not a battle I wanted to have. Hope this helps!

Oh, I am lucky that morning is the only time my 6 year-old isn't yelling at me! Kids this age love responsibility and think they are old enough to "do it by themselves." I gave my daughter an alarm clock. When it goes off, she is responsible for getting up and getting dressed in the clothes that she picked out the night before. Then she comes into my room for me to help her put on her sneakers.

Set the clock a little before yours even to give him some time to go to the bathroom and wake up...some people need a few extra minutes after sleep to adjust to the world.

I would have a talk with him before you present the alarm clock to him though, tell him that the current situation isn't working, that you don't deserve to be yelled at first thing in the morning and that you understand he needs some time to himself. Make it clear that the alarm is his responsibility and that he must get out of bed and start the day as soon as it rings (don't show him the snooze :)) Good luck!

Hi L.,

Sounds like what you're going through with both your boys is normal. Very common in fact. As far as the 6 y/o goes, what time does he go to bed? Maybe an earlier bedtime would work if he's "tired". Does he like his teacher? Bus driver? Is it a new school? All of these things can be overwhelming to a little one and make them resistant to wanting to get up. But in any case, he needs to learn that he shouldn't speak to you in a disrespectful way, it simply won't be tolerated. Stay calm and don't let him provoke you into a shouting match. Tell him he has "X" minutes to get ready, set an timer if you have to, then walk away. If he's not dressed, tell him he can go in his pajamas! As long as you are calm, quiet and FIRM about the rules (which should be consistent), he'll get the message. When mine were young and pulled the screaming stuff, I'd calmly say, "Would you speak to your teacher/Dad/Grandmother/babysitter, like that?" They always said no, so I'd say, "Then why would you speak to your Mom like that? It hurts my feelings". That usually stopped them cold. Still works on my 14 y/o daughter!

As for the 16 y/o, staying in their rooms is very normal. As long as he still talks to you when you are together, as long as you don't suspect drugs or alcohol, or see signs of major depression, and with you being a nurse, I'm sure you'd recognize all those signs...he's probably just being a normal teen. BUT...make sure nothing major has happened in his life. Did you guys just move? Is there a Father figure in the picture (you didn't say if there was or not)? Did he just break up with a girlfriend? Did he just change schools? Is this behavior REALLY abrupt (like almost overnight)? Did he just get skipped over for a team sport? Lots of things go on at this age, I'm sure you can remember some yourself, and maybe he's just confused or thinking things through. As long as he still seems "relatively" normal, the same old kid, I wouldn't worry too much. If you are able to draw him into decent conversations, things are probably ok. It could also be that he's tired of what's going on with the younger child and is just trying to avoid confrontational scenes between you and the younger child. One thing you might can do is ask HIS opinion on how to deal with the younger one. It would make him feel important and useful and who knows, he just might have the perfect answer! Good luck and let me know how things go.

We had similar problems with our son, who we have learned, is more of a night person than a morning person. He's like his Daddy! I think most importantly it's crucial to make sure your 6 year old is getting enough sleep. You might want to refer to the experts, but we make sure our son gets around 10 hours a night. While he wakes up very slowly in the morning, I start the process at least 15 minutes before I need him up. I talk to him and talk about what a great day he's going to have...putting on music that gradually increases in beat may be an idea...nothing to shock his system. You may want to turn on his closet light...or open the blinds to get him going, gradually. In the past, I have propped him up with me, and held him for several minutes...again talking in a calm voice. When I know he's awake, and just being difficult...I let him know there will be a consequence for his behavior if he doesn't get out of bed, or if we're in jeopardy of missing the school bus. Consistency seems to work best!!!! Hope this helps.

I had the same problem with my son at that age. It was very frustrating and it was such a negative day to start the day. I don't know if this will help, but this is what we did and it changed our days. I sat down with him during an especially bad moment and told him flat out that he needed to understand that he has to get up every morning, that it wasn't up for negotiations. I told him I wasn't going to argue with him any more about getting out of bed. He needed to make a "big boy" decision, and get up without the fuss. Otherwise, he'd be late for school. He didn't like that idea, because he knew it would lead to the principal's office. Then we talked to him about an alarm clock and decided to set it a little bit before he normally got up. He agreed to it and has used it every day since then. He's now 11 and I can't remember the last time we argued about getting up for school. I hope you can work it out with him. Maybe just a part of what we did will help. My daughter also loves her alarm clock. It makes her feel more grown up and independent at her grand 7 years.

I would try going to bed a little earlier. Also, something that made a HUGE difference with my daughter was getting an alarm clock that was for her room for her to use. For some odd reason, she loved having her own alarm clock that would wake her up and that she could get out of bed to turn off. I took her to the store and let her pick out her own alarm and each night she would turn it on before getting in bed and the next morning when it went off she would pop right out and go on her merry way.

Good luck!

I FEEL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a 6 year old daugher who does the same exact thing. I have tried to make a chart and if she gets up and gets ready she gets extra computer or TV time... (like 5 more min) but it seems alot to her. Well that doesn't work now. Being nice doesn't work,being mean doesn't work. It has almost got to the point where I want to pour water on her head and run out....(I would never do that don't worry) I just don't know what to do. I go in at 6:15 or so and turn on the TV, then at 6:30 I do turn on the light. Now by then my youngest who is 2 and HAPPY as can be is up and ready to go potty, brush teeth and get dressed so she can eat breakfast. Now the 6 year old is a different story. I know she is awake because I see her eyes shut when I walk in. And mind you I can not pick a 70 pound kid up out of bed. On the weekend she wakes up so early but during the week it is always a struggle...If you find a good solution then by all means LET ME KNOW!!!!!

Having an almost 6 year old daughter, we have had to change our nightly routine to accommodate several things.

First, depending on what time he gets up, you need to plan on him getting at least 10 hours of sleep, if not more. Yes, this will cut into your family time and make you change your schedule. I promise you it will help. Remember, the time I gave you is MINIMUM!

Have his clothes laid out the night before and everything for school ready. Give him at least 20 minutes to get ready in the morning, and wake him up at the last possible moment. (LOL). If he's cold, you might want to put a warmer in his room. I caution you on safety with this. Either that, or if you have a heat light that you could replace the light in the bathroom with and let him get dressed there.

The days we let our daughter stay up past 7:30 is the days we struggle (I get her up a little bit after 5:30). Now is one of those nights, so I need to get her to bed.


I had the same problem with getting my daughter up last year (she was in KG) and this year is so much better. So if this is your first year it may just take an adjustment. For this year we got her an alarm clock of her choice and now 90% of the time when I get to her room to check on her in the morning she's usually already taken care of the bathroom tasks and starting to get dress. She's 6 1/2 now. It does help to have everything laid out in advance (even the breakfast food, her deoderant, tooth brush, and clothes).

I use this method with my 2 & 3 year olds and I haven't had a problem since. I bathe my kids at night and while I get their pj's ready, I pick out 2 outfits and have them pick one of the two to wear to school the next day. I then place the clothes aside for in the morning. This has helped immensely in saving time and arguments in the morning. I also have them decide what they want for breakfast the night before. I usually ask them while I am bathing them. This way, they aren't trying to decide while sleepy. Now, for the morning of, I go in and gently let them kow it is time to get up and I leave the room to give them time to wake up. I then go and start getting breakfast set, after about 3-5 minutes, I go and turn on their room light and leave. This is the last chance they have to get up without consequences. I give them another 3-5 and then I let them know that that they will be going to bed 30 minutes early tonight and I FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT!!! THat is the most important part. I sat my daughter down and told her what I needed from her and how I expected her to behave and then explained what the consequence would be if she couldn't meet those expectations. I have put her to bed early twice & my son once and I haven't had a problem since then. Hope this helps. This method gives them a choice and therefore when you follow through they only have themselves to blame for not making a better choice. Now, if he gets up, but doesn't cooperate with getting dressed in a timely manner, You can use the same as above on top of explaining to him that he has two choices. Get dressed, brushed and ready to go voluntarily or you will do it all for him and then no tv/sports/friend time when he gets home from school on top of going to bed 30 minutes early and FOLLOW THROUGH. I have had to do this once with my daughter because she chose not to brush her teeth. I had to do it with her fighting me. She has made better choices since. Hope this helps and good luck. It takes me roughly 40 minutes to wake up my kids and get them breakfast eaten, dressed, hair & teeth brushed, and backpack ready and out the door.

I would make his bedtime a lot earlier. I would tell him that the reason his bedtime is earlier is because of the trouble he has getting up & getting ready in the morning. I'd say that once he shows that he can get up & ready without problems we could revisit the idea of a later bedtime. My mom struggled with my little sister about this from the time she was about 3 years old all through high school! It was a total nightmare. I am not a morning person either. I have to have my morning coffee before I can think about getting ready for the day. In my house we call it "time to thaw out". So maybe you could get him up a little earlier & you have your cup of coffee & give him a cup of warm cocoa. He might have his time to thaw out with you & feel like a big boy because of his mug of cocoa. Anyway, worth a try!

I offered to one of my sons, if he could get to the kitchen for breakfast at a certain time, without problems, he could have a sticker. Another son could have game system time, 15 minutes in the morning, if he got ready without fussing. Find his "currency" and use it.

Also, at my house you get to slam a door once, after that I take the door off the hinges and keep it for a period of time. It is very affective.

How do you go about waking him up?Do you just go in, throw the covers back and tell him it's time to get up? My daughter always has a little tickle session that includes some good morning kisses and wakes her son up slowly and in a good mood. When I have him, I rub his back a little and have a glass of juice for him to drink and ask what he wants for breakfast. He always wants an extra five minutes to sleep, so I give him that while I make his breakfast. When it's time to eat he never complains about getting up because he's had his extra five minutes (sometimes it's only three, but what does he know?). After he eats, it dress, brush teeth and hair and we're ready to go. You just have to start early enought so nobody is screaming to rush. As for slamming the door. If you let him get away with that action not, he'll do it all his life. He needs to learn to control his temper. He needs to learn that action is not acceptable in the house and he should be punished when he does it. He'll learn, it just takes a little time.

It sounds like you have received some very good advice already. One thing I would add is to make sure your little boy is getting sufficient sleep. All children have different needs, but at age 6 he probably needs at least 10 hours a night. I am basing this on articles I have read, and also on the fact that when I took my daughter for her 11 year checkup, the pediatrician said she should get at least 9 hours. So I figure at age 6 he probably needs at LEAST 10, if not more. That means if he needs to be up by 6:30 am, he needs to be asleep by 8:30 pm., and quite possibly earlier. I know that it is very difficult to get my 4-year-old to bed on time. My 9 and 11 year olds have so many activities, and it seems to push the evenings later and later. I have started feeding my youngest separately from the rest of the family, and I sometimes find myself putting her to bed while everyone else is eating dinner. But I know how important it is to her development that she get the right amount of sleep, so I do whatever I can to ensure that. It doesn't happen every night--none of us are perfect--but just do your best. Also, my oldest is not a morning person and has always had a hard time getting out of bed, but setting the alarm a little earlier so she can 'snooze' helped. And now that she is older I really don't have any problems at all. Just give him time! And try to be patient and understanding. Oh, one more thing--I noticed with my oldest that first grade suddenly got 'serious'--with the teacher telling the children they needed to make 'wise choices', no more free play at centers, etc., etc. I think for some children this is a big adjustment and it may be that he isn't liking school as much this year as he did last year. See if you can draw him out and get him to talk about school. He might feel better if he does. Good luck!

Hi I had the same issue with my little girl, first I moved up her bedtime 15 minutes, this helped a little. Then I made her take resposibility; what this means is I bought her an alarm clock, and had her lay out her clothes the night before etc. Then when the alarm clock goes off now, she gets up with not much problem, get herself dressed and goes downa dn even fixes her breakfast. The fighting stopped , becasue I gave the control to her!

What time does the child go to bed every night? My 12 year-old just this year has been able to stay up passed 9 pm. We have found (my husband and I) that the earlier they get to bed the easier to deal with in the morning. Of course you have your fight with them at night instead of in the morning but once it's routine the fight diminishes. We are foster parents with 2 children of our own. Our 7 year-old goes to bed at 8 pm and our 12 year-old goes to bed at 10 pm (just this last week we started letting her stay up).


If possible get him to bed eairler the night before. Let him have some time to wake up. Wake him up about thirty mins before he has to do anything let him veg out infront of the tv or something sit at the table to eat breakfast and look at the comics. Give him time to get it together. Hope this helps!

We would always make sure anything and everything that needed to go to school was next to the front door.

We always looked at the school lunch menu for the week, so I knew what days she would eat at school and what days she would need a lunch. We always looked at the school lunch menu for the week, so I knew what days she would eat at school and what days she would need a lunch. I just always tried to keep about $20 in that account at school. I gave her the same lunch each time. The only thing that I changed was the type of sandwich, the type of fruit, the type of raw veggies and the type of chip. It was up to her to let me know if she wanted something different. (She loved salads, wraps, and peanut butter that she would dip pretzels into.)

I gave my daughter "time" in the morning to wake up. I would set HER alarm for 20 minutes before she really needed to get up. Then I would ask her, do you want 10 minutes? She would usually say yes. I would always make her verbally give me an answer. After 10 minutes, I would ask her do you want 10 minutes or 5 minutes? I would make her answer me. By 20 minutes she was usually ready to get up.

I also realized she was not a morning person. She did not like to have conversations, or have to make big decisions first thing in the morning. So we made a deal. I would not ask her questions or have a conversation with her until she spoke with me first, if, she would get herself ready in a timely manner on her own. If she did not brush her teeth, brush her hair and get dressed, I would be all over her. (hovering and talking cheerily) It was her worst nightmare, hee, hee.

She was in charge of her own breakfast. If she wanted something that I would need to cook, like eggs or something. She had to ask me kindly. She always had instant oatmeal, cereal or toast she could make herself. I had a low shelf that I kept this stuff on at all times including the cereal bowls and spoons. If she ran too late , we always have fruit and cereal bars for the trip to school.

As she got older (about 8), she learned to use her alarm clock so she could snooze.I would still make sure I could hear her moving around at the designated time, just in case she over slept. This really seemed to work with us. I hope it helps a little with your sleepy one. We called our daughter the morning zombie. Good luck.

It seems like there may be a problem at school and he doesn't want to go each morning. Have you talked to the teacher? Is he having difficulty at school? Are kids teasing him? If he really like school then he probably wouldn't give you a hard time about getting ready each morning. Or, maybe he really is tired. Does he go to bed early enough during the school week? Does he sleep well at night? I'm sorry you are going through al of this. My kids aren't school age yet, but I used to be a teacher. I also remember as a kid that I didn't like school very much because I was so shy. I used to complain of stomachaches every morning because I didn't want to go to school.

I agree with the suggestions of an earlier bedtime. Try moving it up by 10 to 15 min. each night until you get to the right time. Get all of his morning things ready the night before to make the morning easier and less stressful. He can help. Do something soothing like reading and bath with low lights right before bed, so he gets in the mood. Also, nothing to eat or drink as this can stimulate him before bed. Does he have any night waking? You may want to check with a doc if he does. If these don't work, then he just might not be a morning person. I am not, my kids are. So, if that is the case I would just suggest keeping conversation to a minimum by stabilizing the routine.

Check out www.childrensmiraclemusic.com. It truly has been miraculous for my kids in the morning! They love it and I don't have to pester them anymore.
A. Robison

wow, reading your request was like reading one of mine except I have a daughter. Here is what I have done. I have my daughter pick out her outfit the night before and lay it out. I have also found that she has a better morning if she bathes or showers in the morning instead of at night before bed. It wakes her up as well as warms her up. He probaly just needs some extra time to adjust to the morning. Try those things and see if it helps.

It is very hard to deal with a sleepy head in the morning. Try putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier and see if that helps. Have your try letting an alarm clock wake him up(Using music) and putting it to ring a few minutes earlier so he can wake up less in a hurry and on his own. Good Luck!

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