How Normal Is It to Have Imaginary Friends?

Oh I had to laugh at this. My oldest at age 3, had a friend that was ordered to sit on the back of one of recliners one day. She actually introduced him to us and made sure we knew "she" was there so we wouldn't sit on her. We laughed really hard, but not at her. She was downright serious! Well, "Shordyn" eventually faded and one day she simply didn't want to speak of him or her anymore. She never really "used" Shordyn as an excuse for naughtiness..and that shouldn't be allowed. You might if the going gets tough institute a "policing" of the friends by simply telling her that you cannot watch her invisible friends, but you can watch her and if one of her friends is going to misbehave then she will have to correct them, and perhaps she should show them how that works. Does she do time out? All for one and one for all...she has to stick by her friends as well. She can't just decide they are there when she does something wrong. If that becomes a problem, simply notice who and start weeding out the bad seeds. Say something like "Okay.."nikky" has to go home now as I cannot have rule breakers here..etc..make a big show of ushering someone (firmly..) out of the house and say "I'm sorry you did that, now you cannot play with my daughter until you can behave nicely in my house." Lets see what happens. Tell your daughter that she cannot play with "the bad one" until she proves that behavior is better. (Not the imaginary friend's behavior..but her behavior.). I dunno, I think it works in theory :) Anyway, the imaginary friend thing is pretty normal, your kid is just a very popular social butterfly amongst hers :)

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My daughter had 2 imaginary friend when she was younger. Molly and Horse (although they were both human)! She adored them. They went everywhere with us. My daughter blamed things on them, also. I asked her pediatrician about it and he said it was absolutely fine. He even said children with imaginary friends often grow up to be advanced. My daughter is now 10. She is doing well socially, with plenty of real friends. She also does very well in school, advanced in many subjects.
Do not worry about the imaginary friends! Enjoy the time. Our family misses Molly and Horse. :) We have some of our best memories with them!

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Very normal.

My daughter doesn't have imaginary friends, but she does act through her toys. Sometimes she blames them (or her foot, or her leg, or her hand) for doing something. I just tell her that she is in charge of [toy] and that she needs to tell him/her/it to behave.

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Totally normal! Especially for very bright kids! My daughter had many when she was young. They traveled with us, played with us. you name it. It was fun for her and harmless. She is now an accomplished business owner, wife and mother of 4 boys. She still remembers her imaginary friends fondly!

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absolutely. my dd started this just past her second birthday, and now she has a whole slew of imaginary friends. some of them are based on real people, some on tv or story characters, and some, well, I don't know where they come from. my doctor assures me this is the sign of a healthy, intelligent and creative child, and eventually, they leave their imaginary friends behind.

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TJ...

We laugh at this at my house too! My oldest son Korbin started having an imaginary friend when he was 3. Of all things he named him "Invisible Korbin". In the beginning he blamed Invisible Korbin for some things, not much tho. He is mainly just another play toy now. Yes he is still with us, now that Korbin is 5, however not as much.....but I have noticed recently that his little brother, now 3, has kinda taken over Invisible Korbin as his own friend!

I think it's fine...dont worry!

K.

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TJ - my younger son Sebastian also has imaginary friends. They are often naughty. :) We have to speak with his friends a lot about their behavior. He also tells us about his day with all kinds of exciting stuff he has done with his friends, AND about school (which he doesn't go to) with his buddies.
I love the friends, until they misbehave that is.
L.

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It is totally normal, and common for that age. I have heard though that children invent imaginary friends at a time in their lives that things are difficult, or too much to handle alone. You might find a reduction in the number of imaginary friends if you look at calming down her life, or easing some of her fears.
It may also just be that she is learning how to use her imagination and both enjoys it and thinks you are dumb enough to believe that her "friend" is doing certain things instead of her.

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TJ, I'm glad you asked this question --- I'll be interested to hear what others have to say, since my 3.5 yo daughter is doing the same thing!

Here's a couple of things I've heard so far from friends:
- it's healthy and developmentally appropriate to have them at this age (and to blame bad behavior on them!)
- acknowledge the imaginary friends, because they are "real" to the child
- admonish the imaginary friend when they are naughty

That's all I've got, but I'm looking forward to hearing from others!

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Hi TJ,

My daughter is almost 2 and I am just waiting for the day when she says something about an "imaginary friend". I'm sure that it's just a phase and when she starts school on a regular basis, her friend will go away (or as another mama said, become her younger sister's friend!). Enjoy this time because I'm sure it's not going to last forever.

P.S. I had an imaginary friend when I was about her age and her name was Sessy. I used to make my mom actually set a place for her at the dinner table... and she did, very cool mom!

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-- dont give away her college fund-- your treasure is a VERY bright child- and for that group--- imaginary friends are very commen --- very. DON"T worry---

blessings,
J.

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My sister didn't just have imaginary friends--she changed her name depending on her hair style--if her hair was down she was Casey (her real name), but if it was in a pony-tail her name was Kelly. When people would ask her what her name was she would have to feel her hair first! It didn't last that long, but it was pretty funny.

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Very normal. When I was three, my mom had to send "Cinderella" home because she was telling me to pull the flowers out of the flower bed. I still have a tendency to get lost in my imagination now and again (especially after a good movie), but I live a very normal life. Your daughter has a wonderful and vibrant imagination, and she will probably be a very artistic person. I would get her involved in writing, drawing, acting, or maybe dance so that she has more ways to express herself. Also, encourage her to tell you about what her imaginary people do. Don't bother to explain what is and isn't real unless something imaginary seems to be frightening or inhibiting her. She'll develop a sense of the split between fantasy and reality in her own time, especially if she's allowed to express herself to you. When she's a teenager or young adult, you might want to watch out for rumination (constantly sitting and stewing on a topic), which can cause depression or obsessive fantasizing, which can cause discontentment, but for right now, just let her have fun.

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Soooooo normal. And lucky.

<Laughing> I remember always wanting an imaginary friend growing up. I never understood why my parents would laugh at this. ;)

My son has had 2. His "40-Grandpa" (the way he explained it, I was 1, my mum was 2, HER mum was 3, her mum's mum was 4....and 40-Grandapa was waaaaaay down that list! He actually MEANT generations!!!) So not only did he have an imaginary friend, but the friend was family, and apparently LONG dead. 40-Grandpa told him outrageous stories, kept him company at night, and *generally* gave him good advice.

Sing Sankh came along later. He was MUCH younger then my son, and needed my son's help with a lot of stuff. It was too precious listening to my son explain things to Sing Sank, and including him in his/our play. Sing Sankh, had apparently been my son's "best friend in China" around a hundred years ago. According to my son he was still alive in china, but as a very old man. His spirit though, was already out and about...and was, of course, a very young child. The "of course" btw is my son's. Silly me.

Also, my son has "friends" in some of his oldest stuffed animals. Tlankying (his blankie) is his oldest friend (and the only one who doesn't "talk"). His other "friends" all talk and have different personalities...but his blankie you have to hold real tight and then he "talks in your heart". Awwwwww...

At six we almost never hear from either his 40-grandpa, or SingSankh. And I have to say...I really do miss them.

Z.

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