C.R. asks from Topeka, KS on January 23, 2008
How My 5 Yr Old Interacts Is Beautiful but When It Comes Tme to to Go to Sleep ?
I am afraid to ask but here it goes I have a 5 yr old son and he is very smart for someone his age and very loving but still very picky on what he drinks and eats especially at bedtime. When i was pregnatnt w/him i ate very healthy to healthy if u ask me but nothing stayed down the entire pregnancy this was a 24/7 ordeal. Well he loves french fries till this day. He wakes up he wants french fries or waffles or apples or milk. Bedtime is another ordeal. In order for him to sleep the doctor said give him melatonin with milk. I do this daily for about a year actually less. Well anyway since he was a newborn he use to drink his milk and run his little hand to go to sleep. And he still does it now. I love him but my husband says i am losing hair i am not sure if i am i am to stessed out because i can' wean him away from me. He needs he says to go to sleep. I am worried that i am going to him damage you know emotionally or something Please someone tell me everything is okay and he will grow ott of these ideas and when he starts school he will have new things to explore. I mean he is very helpful around the house without asking he helps you so he can learn what your doing. He helps me to separtate and rinse food while in prep in the kitchen. He helps my hubby to do little things what ever he does. They go bike riding when the weather is nice. And i tell hubby he will grow out of it but i don't see it happening Do i give it more time. My other kids were not like this at all he even gets up in the middle of the night to come to my bed to twirl my hair again. So i don't know i buy him teddy bears or other stuffed animals to counter this because doctors say that would help but it doesn't. Please help me i am not trying to hurt him but i feel like something needs to be done what do you think? Any help u can offer would be greatly appreciated. I also have 2 bedwetters who are the 14,and 5 yr old. Thats another concern i have please help with your advice don't yell at me or get mad i already do that enough for so many i feel like a total failure. Since i have 2 bed wetter and the other issue my
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So What Happened?™
Thank you for all your responses it is helpful. I need to elaborate a little on my 14 yr old. 2 yrs ago he went to the pediatrician i told him that my son was suffering because he has never been able to go to sleep with out a pull up and also he has always suffered from frequent bloody noses. Night terrors lack of concentration and whole list of other things he was diagnosed with ADD and then this pass summer he had seen a ear nots and throat specialist and scheduled a surgery and he had a deviated septum tonsilectomy and another procedure i can't remember right now. We went to a urologist who said he wasn't 14 yet and that he wasn't fully developed yet or that the penal something other is smaller than other kids at his age. He is so self conscious about this he really doesn't know what to do and neither do i because he can't wake up to an alarm. even the one the doctor told us to put in his pullup. That particular one was to go from his pullup to his wrist. Didn't work either. I am no help either since my meds keep me asleep through the night. Unless of course some one comes to my front door and knockin at it around 1 am. I shot out of bed quick then. It turned out to be a police officer. Still not clear why he came to our door. I am a epileptic so i take tegretol, i take effexor for depression, and more recently as of yesterday was given Lyrica for pain since i was rear ended on March 4th 2006. Ever since then my problems have compounded and being sad is really an understatement because of dreaming of being in another rear collision. I can't get out of my head what i heard and that was Oh my God he is under her truck, she is up in the air. But in my dream i am not that lucky and all i can remember is being guided by an angel but before that i had to go by all my kids and giving them one last hug and kiss. I am so scared of being in a car now. And now with fibromyalgia being a part of my life it is just getting harder.
T.H. answers from St. Louis on January 24, 2008
First off, not all your childrens' problems is your fault. Especially medically. Bedwetting is usually hereditary as well as emotionally induced. Sometimes the kidneys and bladder takes longer to mature and develop and this can cause delayed control of night time bed wetting. My son was diagnosed with this and the dr. gave him a nose spray and he took the meds for 3 months and hasn't wet the bed since he was 12 years old. He happened to sleep very deeply too which didn't help the situation when we were told to get him up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom!So go to the doctor and ask him/her about nose spray that helps with bed wetting. Now for your original question. How can you get your 5 year old from needing to twirl your hair at night to calm himself? If you haven't tried a doll with hair don't worry that he is a boy and dolls are for girls according to society. It's a crock! Try it, they make boy dolls now but long hair is probably his preference. It may not work because your son is using this time to be near you. If you already tried it and you don't mind him twirling your hair then let him. Is it making your hair fall out? Not likely unless he is pulling it real hard! Are you hurting him emotionally? Not in my opinion. You are helping him cope and relax. Will he grow out of it? Most likely, but I knew a grown man that loved twirling hair and was not a deviant( bad guy) in any way. So it isn't necessarly a sign of bad things to come! Picky eater? Try offering something new to try before he gets his favorite food but if he tries it and doesn't like it then you have to give him his favorite food in place of it if he actually tries it. He sounds like a really smart little boy so you can't fool him as easily as most five year olds. Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting is the hardest job on earth and we all make mistakes. Your concern for him shows that you try and that is really what is important.
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M.L. answers from Tulsa on January 24, 2008
Hi C., I am not clear what your main concern is. Is your son still trying to nurse? Or is he just needing to touch you to help him get to sleep? My neice does that but usually she wants to put her hand on your chest and then instantly she is asleep. No one is concerned about this although she is only three.
If your hair is falling out then you are probably deficient in vitamins and especially minerals. Go to a good health food store and get a good multivitamin/mineral combination. Prenatal vitamins are wonderful for hair.
The third problem, the older bedwetters- would make my hair fall out!! Take away all sugar, pop, caffeine drinks and fast food. Really work on nutrition and rest.
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S.M. answers from St. Louis on January 24, 2008
Hi C.! I have six children, ages 15,10,9,8,6 and my only daughter is 4! I have a bedwetter, too, my 4 yr old....my 15 yr old was a bed wetter as well. I was told to give him a teaspoon of honey before bed so that worked and I'm doing it with my daughter and it is seems to be helping her. I also don't let her drink ANYTHING an hour before bed time and make sure she goes to the bathroom before bed. My Dr. also said to wake her up about an hour after she goes to sleep to have her go to the bathroom again, I honestly haven't tried it b/c the honey is working. My daughter also says she will miss me too much at night and sleeps in our bedroom floor. I've recently gotten her to sleep in her brother's room, but she comes in ours in the middle of the night...so I started going to sleep with her in her bed and if I do that, she stays their all night....I have to wait until she is in a deep sleep, though. I hope this helps you!
Also, I've found a work at home job, I've been with the company since 7/26/07 and I love it! I actually get a GOOD paycheck every month! I was working as a mortgage broker full time and going to college full time for nursing...I don't want to work crazy hours, but it was for the money! I set up customer accounts for a wellness company and the best part is I SET MY OWN HOURS!!! You can visit my website at www.workathome-socanu.com if you would like more info! Good luck!
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H.S. answers from St. Louis on January 24, 2008
My daughter had a very hard time going to sleep. She is a very hyperactive child. When she was in her crib she could jump in her bed for up to 2 hours and then would fall asleep. When we moved her to a toddler bed it was just a nightmare. A night time routine picture board really helped her a lot. It also helps to blame the picture board so it isn't just mommy and daddy being mean....that is what the rules are. We have 6 things on it: Night Light On, 3 books, Warm Milk, Pajamas, Brush Teeth, and Potty. My daughter has a snack and then we spend 30 minutes doing the 'routine'. After 2 weeks it was incredible how receptive she was to it. We had some crying and tantrums. I had to sit outside her bedroom door and send her back to bed for almost an hour every night, but then she just assumed I was there and stopped getting up.
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P.S. answers from Oklahoma City on January 24, 2008
If your hair is falling out you need to explain to him that he can't do that anymore. He will grow out of it but some of this you are going to have to tell him that he can't do. He is 5 and he isn't a baby anymore.
Is there something medically wrong with your 14 yr. Old that wets the bed? I would start with a trip to the urologist first of all.
You five year old, make sure that he isn't drinking anything while he is going to sleep, first of all that isn't good for them, especially milk, it is terrible for their teeth and hard on their sinus's and ears. Sounds crazy but it's true.
A.C. answers from Kansas City on January 24, 2008
In regards to your hair falling out, you might want to get your thyroid levels checked (a simple blood test). You may have hypothyroidism, which is easily managed with medication. Just a suggestion.
W.G. answers from Oklahoma City on January 24, 2008
I don't really have much advice about your 5 year olds sleeping problems. Our 5 yr old daughter still won't go to sleep by herself and almost ALWAYS ends up in our bed by 3 a.m. We've done what the "supernanny" suggests for more than 2 weeks but I just she's just more persistant than we are.
However, I have have a sister who is in her early 20's and she still has problems with bedwetting. She has to take medication to help control it. Don't beat yourself up about it, sometimes it is a physical problem, perhaps as simple as an infection or a really tiny bladder.
M.F. answers from Lawton on January 24, 2008
The smartest advice I read when my son was small was "you can tell a child to go to bed but you can't tell anyone to go to sleep". I would put my son to bed at the same time every night. He had stuffed animals and he had books to read/ and look at. We ALWAYS read him a bed time story (my husband and I took turns doing this). We let our children pick the story. So I believe a routine is a must. If he got out of bed we just marched him back but did not get mad. I think Nanny 911 has a great method and she insists that you not get into conversation with them after the first time you tuck them in. As for bedtime snacks...just say no to waffles and french fries.