How Much TV Is Too Much TV?

Oh you are not alone! I think most households have this discussion or argument. Sounds to me like they are not watching anything inappropriate and not really spending too much time in front of it. From my experience growing up with 3 other siblings, we were not allowed to watch tv but maybe some cartoons in the morning before they woke and we would fight all the time! That is just a sibling thing and I believe it is very rare to find a household with siblings that always get along and never fight!

Probably has nothing to do with the tv. But if you argue in front of them, it can be what they are seeing from the two of you. Go to another room to argue, if possible.

I see both point of views. We turned off our sattelite in December (I can't stand all the commercials for toys before Christmas) we have not had it since. We only watch DVD's. My kids still fight. I do find that when they play their gameboy's too much they are much more cranky and short-tempered. Not having TV has changed our lives though. I'm not worried about what commercials are coming on and what they are watching. There is just too much junk on the TV now. It's not like when we were kids. I understand your need to put on the TV for noise. My husband does that in the garage when he's working on stuff.( he has rabbit ears on the TV out there so he can keep up on his sports. I've asked him to please be productive while he's watching the games. I can't stand the sitting around aimlessly watching sport after sport.) I must say, he has accomplished more in the past 5 months than he has in the past 5 years! (we've been together for 16) For noise, I have been downloading podcasts onto my ipod (catholic hack) and listening to that during my chores. There's lots of podcasts for all kind of topics on itunes. Anyway, back to your dilemma; I have found that with no TV, the kids and I play games with eachother daily. This has helped us spend alot of time together sharing and talking about stuff. I got the kids about 15 new games for Christmas in preparation for no more TV. Yesterday, I posted a reply to someone who was having trouble with their kids arguing, talking back, fighting with their siblings. Something that we do is keep a "trash-talkin' dirty jobs" bucket around. Every time the kids talk trash ie; name calling, teasing, talking back, arguing, anything that is not nice behavior, they have to pick out a dirty job from the bucket (a plastic trash bucket). Jobs like scrubbing out the trash cans (even the one that gets rolled out to the street for pick-up day), cleaning toilets, scrubbing tile grout, mopping, taking a walk around the block and picking up any trash they see(a timed chore of 10min. we have watches with matching times) cleaning baseboards, and pretty much anything else I can think of. I'll tell ya, we have gotten alot of cleaning up around here! It has helped my kids to think before they speak. Well, don't know if that helps any....good luck with everything. A.

Oh how I understand you...my husband and I have had that "discussion" many times! I was raised on the tv and seem to have it on all the time for comfort noise. I started noticing how much my girls (ages 9 & 6) were arguing last year about the tv and starting to want everything they saw on the commercials so I got sick of it one day and said "NO MORE TV" without really thinking about it before I said it! I had to follow through so we made a rule in the house...no tv Monday-Thursday. I have to say after one year of doing this, it is the best thing we've ever done! The kids seem to play together more, go outside and play board games. Now, I still watch tv at night after they have gone to bed...I can't do without for that long :) The first few weeks were hard and I heard a lot of complaining, but now it is just standard in the house and they are used to it. Good luck!

S.,
We do not have a television in our home, however my five kiddos do fight. Sounds like you monitor what they watch and for how long. Now, if they were mimicking something that they saw on tv and fighting, maybe that would be a different story. Kids don't have to be taught how to fight, my little bro and I fought like cats and dogs a lot of the time, but just let someone else try to pick on one of us and our sibling was one of the best defenders there was. Just remind them that when they grow up they will be each others best friends, other friends may come and go but they'll always have each other so they need to start working on it now. Hope this helps.

Alison

I've heard that children should watch no more than one hour per day. But, I also like to have the TV on as background noise while I am doing chores around the house. I found I like the radio just as much as the TV and I don't feel guilty about having the radio on. :)

My opinion is that PBS is excellent for children and it doesn't seem that you are letting them sit in front of it "too much" but the TV being on for you may be the problem. Have you tried music instead? If you already keep the TV on, then you are used to commercials so they shouldn't be any more annoying on the radio than they already are, however remember that commercials contain more than words and whether or not your kids are "watching" anything but PBS doesn't mean they aren't picking up the subliminal messages broadcast through TV commercial visual as well as audio (radio can be just as dangerous depending on your station choice). Some family shows in the past were not negative, but now there is so much sexual content or verbal conflict on even "family" TV that it's really hard to recommend any commercial TV - most of it is baloney "reality" shows. If any of the shows you keep on for yourself have questionable content or advertising then your kids can be affected by it - think of it like second-hand smoke - poison they can't control but you can. They may be "arguing/teasing" to get your attention when you are giving it to the TV as well. Maybe your husband has issues with you watching TV, not the kids so much, and he doesn't know how to address it. I have raised three sons who watched (and still watch) PBS. The two oldest have graduated from college which they attended on full academic scholarships and educational TV was a very positive influence. My youngest is in middle school and we are definitely having to monitor his choice of shows because he doesn't have his siblings at home anymore to keep him company or provide positive influence. Really try getting some CDs of your favorite music - or trying some new ones - you might find that your kids respond better to that background noise than TV. Good luck.

HI! Frist of all I totally understand you I have been married for 10 years also in june and I would have told my husband hello ! If he so concerend then fell free to take them outside the box ! and go outside with them and throw the ball kick the soccer ball around or why dosent he talk to them too ! Men ! Hello your doing all of these things fell free to chip in ... Feel free to vent anytime ill listen .. Now I understand why (everybody loves raymond )wife debra use to yell at ray all the time ! lol I hope this helped .... L. a stay at home mom

i agree with your husband 1/2 hour a day is too much...and to have it on when you're not even watching it is a waste of energy/electricity. we don't have any cable service, we just use dvd's so the kids are interested in what they are watching instead of just "vegging out" in front of the t.v. my kids are not allowed to watch dvds during the week and they never ask for it or feel disappointed about it. instead they play outside or play legos or we go for family walks or play family games...tv is not worth fighting over...

S.,

Is your husband an only child? Perhaps he doesn't understand the sibling rivalry issue because of it. The radio suggestion is a good one.

PBS Kids is not a bad thing to watch. I can't imagine that "Super Why" is teaching them to fight.

This is national turn-off your television week.

Please read this. peace ~d

Top 10 Reasons to Turn Off Your TV
By Mark Stibich, Ph.D., About.com
Updated: July 24, 2007

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our Medical Review Board

Turning off your television will gain you, on average, about 4 hours per day. Imagine if you took that time to exercise, give your brain a workout and develop strong relationships. Not only would you be adding years to your life, you would become more interesting, energetic, and fun. So take the plunge and try not watching TV for a week. At first it will be strange and awkward, but stick with it and soon you will love all the extra time.

1. Television Eats Your Time
The average U.S. adult watches more than 4 hours of television a day. That's 25 percent of waking time spent every day. Imagine if you suddenly had 25 percent more time -- that's three extra months per year! You could get in all your exercise1, cook your meals from scratch2 and still have time left over to write a novel.
Over a lifetime, an 80-year-old person would have watched 116,800 hours of television, compared to only 98,000 hours of work. As a nation, adults watch 880 million hours of television every day or 321 billion hours per year. Whew! Imagine what could get done if we all just stopped watching TV.

2. Television Makes You Stressed
With the average of four hours a day gone, it's no wonder everyone is feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. We put aside paying bills, finishing projects, making phone calls and cleaning our homes to watch TV. We feel overwhelmed because of all the things we should be doing (exercising, spending time with family, eating right) go undone.
And when we feel overwhelmed, tired, and exhausted we don't have energy to anything but -- you guessed it -- watch TV. It is a dreadful cycle. So take a break from TV for a week and see what happens to your life.

3. Television Makes You Overweight

Eating while distracted limits your ability to assess how much you have consumed. According to Eliot Blass4 at the University of Massachusetts, people eat between 31 and 74 percent more calories while watching TV.
This could add, on average, about 300 calories extra per TV meal. Now consider that at least 40 percent of families watch TV while eating dinner. It becomes clear that TV is a big part of the obesity epidemic in the U.S. and that TV, in fact, makes you gain weight.

4. Television Makes You Uninteresting

Many people have whole conversations that are recaps of TV programs, sporting events and sitcoms. When asked about their real lives, there is little or nothing to report and no stories7 to tell (except the TV shows they have watched).
Life is too interesting and wonderful to spend your time either watching TV or recapping television to your friends. Find something interesting to do: volunteer, read, paint -- anything but watch more TV.

5. Television Ruins Your Relationships

A television is turned on an average of 7 hours and 40 minutes per day in many U.S. households. With the TV on that much, there is little time for you and your significant other or children to spend time together, share experiences, and develop deeper relationships.
Sitting together and watching TV does not grow a relationship. Turn that TV off and find something to do together -- cooking, exercising, taking a walk, anything.

6. Television is Not Relaxation

TV is the opposite of exercise. If you are watching TV you are usually sitting, reclining or lying down. You are burning as few calories as possible. All that extra food you eat while watching TV does not get burned off. Your brain goes into a lull.
But you are not relaxing -- your mind is still receiving stimuli from the TV, you are processing information and reacting emotionally. Have you ever found yourself thinking about TV characters? Do you ever dream about TV shows? These are signs that the brain is working hard to process all the TV you have been watching.

7. Television Loses Opportunities

If you are sitting and watching TV, nothing new or exciting is going to happen to you. New opportunities and ideas come from being out in the world, talking to people, and reading interesting things.
Watching TV isolates you. Nothing is going to change in your world if you are watching TV. Turn off the TV, go out into the world, talk to people, and see what happens.

8. Television is Addictive
Television can become addictive. Signs of TV addiction include:
using the TV to calm down
not being able to control your viewing
feeling angry or disappointed in how much TV you watched
feeling on edge if kept from watching
feeling a loss of control while watching
If the idea of giving up TV for a week is horrifying, you may be addicted to television. Luckily, TV addiction is a habit and not a physical addiction like smoking. You should be able to control it once you are aware of the problem and make a decision to change.

9. Television Makes You Buy Things
By age 65, the average American has seen 2 million commercials. Your knowledge of products and brands comes from these TV commercials. Your perception of what you need also comes from these commercials.
If you didn't know that your iPod could talk to your running shoes, you wouldn't feel like your current shoes are too low-tech. If you didn't know about vacuums that never lose suction, your current vacuum would seem fine. Our perception of need is determined by what we see. Need less by watching less TV.

10. Television Costs Money
A basic cable package costs $43 per month12 and many packages cost much more than that. That comes to at least $500 a year spent on TV. For that much money you could: buy a membership to every museum or zoo in your town, get a gym membership, buy a nice bicycle, invest it every year for 10 years at 10 percent interest and have more than $10,000.

Sources: TvTurnOff.org: US Census Bureau

More Ways to Improve Your Mental Fitness

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First children don't fight becasue of watching TV, there are a lot of good educational programs that they can benefit from on it. Children fight because they are bored, have different personalities, are learning to assert their selves, and are learning to communicate on an intellectual level. It would depend on what they are fighting about, are they disagreeing about something , maybe one asserting dominance over another because they are older, possible a younger one trying to get their own way by creating a scene. These are all childish behaviors that are normal for their age group. Your 7 year old is probably in 2nd grade and is learning all sorts of new things in school and learning about different cultures in school (ncluding aggressive behavior), if your 5 year old is in kindergarden he is also learning to get along with other kids in school and at 5 some of those kids have sharing issues and selfish behaviors that he may be picking up. You have to correct the behavior based on the event that immediately caused it and then let it go. Don't constantly bring it up. Kids tend to forget these type of incidents as they are really unimportant (only the lesson that they learn from you and your reaction is important). If you correct them (and explain to the level of their understanding why the behavior is wrong)they will learn what is and isn't acceptable. But don't scream at them, you only get screamers as they grow up.
And you have to be consistant, don't say its wrong now and then later say well its okay this one time, it has to be wrong everytime and corrected.

I hope the ladies who are fans of TV "background noise" don't think this is a crazy idea, but if all you want the TV for is "background noise," -- if you don't care what program is on-- why not have the TV turned to something that you would want the kids to watch, or at least something that your husband doesn't think is bad for them?

Personally, I love my favorite TV shows, but hate having the TV running when I'm not paying attention to it. I find it distracting and stressful.