How Much TV Is Too Much TV?

I hope the ladies who are fans of TV "background noise" don't think this is a crazy idea, but if all you want the TV for is "background noise," -- if you don't care what program is on-- why not have the TV turned to something that you would want the kids to watch, or at least something that your husband doesn't think is bad for them?

Personally, I love my favorite TV shows, but hate having the TV running when I'm not paying attention to it. I find it distracting and stressful.

First children don't fight becasue of watching TV, there are a lot of good educational programs that they can benefit from on it. Children fight because they are bored, have different personalities, are learning to assert their selves, and are learning to communicate on an intellectual level. It would depend on what they are fighting about, are they disagreeing about something , maybe one asserting dominance over another because they are older, possible a younger one trying to get their own way by creating a scene. These are all childish behaviors that are normal for their age group. Your 7 year old is probably in 2nd grade and is learning all sorts of new things in school and learning about different cultures in school (ncluding aggressive behavior), if your 5 year old is in kindergarden he is also learning to get along with other kids in school and at 5 some of those kids have sharing issues and selfish behaviors that he may be picking up. You have to correct the behavior based on the event that immediately caused it and then let it go. Don't constantly bring it up. Kids tend to forget these type of incidents as they are really unimportant (only the lesson that they learn from you and your reaction is important). If you correct them (and explain to the level of their understanding why the behavior is wrong)they will learn what is and isn't acceptable. But don't scream at them, you only get screamers as they grow up.
And you have to be consistant, don't say its wrong now and then later say well its okay this one time, it has to be wrong everytime and corrected.

S.,

Is your husband an only child? Perhaps he doesn't understand the sibling rivalry issue because of it. The radio suggestion is a good one.

PBS Kids is not a bad thing to watch. I can't imagine that "Super Why" is teaching them to fight.

i agree with your husband 1/2 hour a day is too much...and to have it on when you're not even watching it is a waste of energy/electricity. we don't have any cable service, we just use dvd's so the kids are interested in what they are watching instead of just "vegging out" in front of the t.v. my kids are not allowed to watch dvds during the week and they never ask for it or feel disappointed about it. instead they play outside or play legos or we go for family walks or play family games...tv is not worth fighting over...

HI! Frist of all I totally understand you I have been married for 10 years also in june and I would have told my husband hello ! If he so concerend then fell free to take them outside the box ! and go outside with them and throw the ball kick the soccer ball around or why dosent he talk to them too ! Men ! Hello your doing all of these things fell free to chip in ... Feel free to vent anytime ill listen .. Now I understand why (everybody loves raymond )wife debra use to yell at ray all the time ! lol I hope this helped .... L. a stay at home mom

I've heard that children should watch no more than one hour per day. But, I also like to have the TV on as background noise while I am doing chores around the house. I found I like the radio just as much as the TV and I don't feel guilty about having the radio on. :)

S.,
We do not have a television in our home, however my five kiddos do fight. Sounds like you monitor what they watch and for how long. Now, if they were mimicking something that they saw on tv and fighting, maybe that would be a different story. Kids don't have to be taught how to fight, my little bro and I fought like cats and dogs a lot of the time, but just let someone else try to pick on one of us and our sibling was one of the best defenders there was. Just remind them that when they grow up they will be each others best friends, other friends may come and go but they'll always have each other so they need to start working on it now. Hope this helps.

Alison

Oh how I understand you...my husband and I have had that "discussion" many times! I was raised on the tv and seem to have it on all the time for comfort noise. I started noticing how much my girls (ages 9 & 6) were arguing last year about the tv and starting to want everything they saw on the commercials so I got sick of it one day and said "NO MORE TV" without really thinking about it before I said it! I had to follow through so we made a rule in the house...no tv Monday-Thursday. I have to say after one year of doing this, it is the best thing we've ever done! The kids seem to play together more, go outside and play board games. Now, I still watch tv at night after they have gone to bed...I can't do without for that long :) The first few weeks were hard and I heard a lot of complaining, but now it is just standard in the house and they are used to it. Good luck!

I see both point of views. We turned off our sattelite in December (I can't stand all the commercials for toys before Christmas) we have not had it since. We only watch DVD's. My kids still fight. I do find that when they play their gameboy's too much they are much more cranky and short-tempered. Not having TV has changed our lives though. I'm not worried about what commercials are coming on and what they are watching. There is just too much junk on the TV now. It's not like when we were kids. I understand your need to put on the TV for noise. My husband does that in the garage when he's working on stuff.( he has rabbit ears on the TV out there so he can keep up on his sports. I've asked him to please be productive while he's watching the games. I can't stand the sitting around aimlessly watching sport after sport.) I must say, he has accomplished more in the past 5 months than he has in the past 5 years! (we've been together for 16) For noise, I have been downloading podcasts onto my ipod (catholic hack) and listening to that during my chores. There's lots of podcasts for all kind of topics on itunes. Anyway, back to your dilemma; I have found that with no TV, the kids and I play games with eachother daily. This has helped us spend alot of time together sharing and talking about stuff. I got the kids about 15 new games for Christmas in preparation for no more TV. Yesterday, I posted a reply to someone who was having trouble with their kids arguing, talking back, fighting with their siblings. Something that we do is keep a "trash-talkin' dirty jobs" bucket around. Every time the kids talk trash ie; name calling, teasing, talking back, arguing, anything that is not nice behavior, they have to pick out a dirty job from the bucket (a plastic trash bucket). Jobs like scrubbing out the trash cans (even the one that gets rolled out to the street for pick-up day), cleaning toilets, scrubbing tile grout, mopping, taking a walk around the block and picking up any trash they see(a timed chore of 10min. we have watches with matching times) cleaning baseboards, and pretty much anything else I can think of. I'll tell ya, we have gotten alot of cleaning up around here! It has helped my kids to think before they speak. Well, don't know if that helps any....good luck with everything. A.

Oh you are not alone! I think most households have this discussion or argument. Sounds to me like they are not watching anything inappropriate and not really spending too much time in front of it. From my experience growing up with 3 other siblings, we were not allowed to watch tv but maybe some cartoons in the morning before they woke and we would fight all the time! That is just a sibling thing and I believe it is very rare to find a household with siblings that always get along and never fight!

Probably has nothing to do with the tv. But if you argue in front of them, it can be what they are seeing from the two of you. Go to another room to argue, if possible.