How Much Sleep Do Your Kids Need?

Updated on September 13, 2012
S.G. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
17 answers

I have answered many questions on mampedia regarding naps, bedtimes and childrens general need for sleep. I've noticed by looking at other parents responses there doesn't seem to be anyone out there on mamapedia who shares my experiences with sleep. I figured that with mamapedia being such a wide community their would be some other parents with children who require less sleep than the average child.

My boys are seven and ten. They sleep ten hours a day. They go to bed at 10:00pm and wake up at 8:00am. They adopted this sleep schedule between the ages of two and two and a half, about the same time they gave up naps. Before they went on the ten hour schedule they still slept less than the average baby and toddler. They slept through the night and took two naps a day until a year of age, then one nap a day until they stopped napping. Their nighttime sleep and naps were shorter than average.

Now, having read the books and talking to other moms, I was of course concerned as to why my kids didn't sleep as much as the others. I asked the pediatrician about it on more than one occassion. He would ask "Are they tired? Rubbing their eyes? Unable to function? Sick often? Cranky?" The answers were no. "Are they energetic? Eating? Happy?" Yes. "Then I would probably say they are getting all the sleep they need". "Why do you think they need to sleep more?" Well, because that's what the books say, and that's what the other kids are doing, and it's really inconvenient for them to be awake all the time!!!

So I accepted the pediatricians answer. I was still not too happy that I wasn't having my evenings free to be alone with my husband, or getting hours of uninterupted down time in the afternoons, but I figured I would look on the bright side. The advantages were that I could make plans without having to plan around naps. I didn't have to leave evening functions early to get kids to bed. We could go out and have family fun after dinner. My kids had more time to socialize, interact, learn.

I am fully aware that this is not the average sleep behaviour for kids, but again, I know it is not that uncommon or unheard of. Both of my sons have at least one friend who have the same sleep patterns, and I know kids who I work with at the Y who sleep less than average, and they are all happy, healthy children. So, are there any othe parents on mamapedia with the same experience, or who at least knows kids who don't need as much sleep?

I should probably mention that I sleep the average seven to eight hours a night, although when I was in my teens and twenties I slept much less. As far as I can remember my bedtime as a child was 10:00 or 10:30pm (went to bed after MASH). My husband only sleeps five to six hours a night. He can't sleep in. He's been like this for the past 25 years.

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So What Happened?

No, I suppose the ten hours they get a night now at age 7 and 10 are well within normal, but as infants, toddlers and pre-schoolers they were outside the normal range. Reading responses her though it sounds like all the kids are getting way more sleep than mine need!
As for terrible twos-my older son didn't really seem to go through terrible twos. He was quite a mature two year old. He was an early talker, and would often tell the other toddlers at playgroup "It's time to sit down and listen!" He was what I considered a high needs baby, sleeping very little and needing to be held constantly. My younger son had terrible twos, but he suffered from chronic ear infections, which made him very irritable. Because of the fluid buit up in his ear drum he did not hear well, and was a late talker. His inability to communicate frustrated him a great deal He had tubes put in just before he turned three, and the terrible twos stopped immediately!
I'm so glad to see my kids aren't the only ones on mamapedia!

Featured Answers

C.B.

answers from Reno on

my kids go to bed on weeknights between 8 and 830 and wake up at 630, on weekends they are up till about 9 depending and up around 7 or 8. They are 10 and 7.
if they have a function or practice or something after i get off work they have been known to be up till 9 but they still have to get up at 630.
i think if they arent crabby or dragging in the morning they are fine. :)

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

There's a wide range of 'normal' (and 8 ISN'T on it until after puberty)

Infants usually sleep 15-18
Toddlers 12-15
Kids 10-12
Teens (puberty) 4-16
Adults 6-9
Elderly 4-16

These ranges are INCLUDING naps. Sounds like yours hit the 'kid normal' a little early. I'm curious if you skipped or had 'early' terrible two's? (Sleep changes in the number of hours is CLOSELY related to hormonal fluctuations. And the terrible 2's follow a hormonal flux that predicates big ole cognitive and emotional leaps and growth. (Ditto again at age 4-5, and again in 'tween' years as they start puberty, and then again mid teens as theyre exiting puberty).

My 10yo needs and usually gets 10-11 hours, same as your kids.

That's mean a 9-10pm bedtime since he was around 4ish during most of the year, and a 7pm bedtime during snowboard season (up at 4am).

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R.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids are 4, 7 and 8. They go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 6am. On the weekends it is more like 8:30-9pm for bedtime and then they wake up around 7am. So they sleep 10 hours just like yours. The 4 year old occasionally takes a nap in the day but not often anymore. They stopped the 12 hours of sleep a night around age 3-4 and went to 10.

ETA I am pretty sure that kids ARE supposed to be down to 10 hours by the time they hit like 7 years old but I may be wrong.

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

That sounds about like my kids, at least. My 4 yo and 8 yo go to bed at 8 or a little after and are getting up around 5:30--so that's even less time. My baby, who is 20 months, goes to bed around 9 pm, gets up at 6 am or earlier, adn naps for about an hour a day.There are days she doesn't nap, though that's not frequent. We've tried and tried and tried to get our kids to sleep in in the morning, but honestly, my husband is up at 5:15 and they "sense" the movement in the house adn wake up. All we can do is put them to bed early adn hope for the best! My oldest would wake up around 4 am when he was a toddler!

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I believe that every child has slightly different sleep requirements... the recommendations are given on an average, not a minimum time for sleep.
My DD has always needed a little less sleep than average: she dropped her second nap earlier than others(around 9 mo), dropped napping completely at about 2.5 and since then sleeps about 10 hours a night (9 PM - 7 AM). She is not tired or cranky or has trouble concentrating or anything else that would indicate that she isn't sleeping enough. I know kids that still need a nap and 12-14 hours of total sleep at this age...(4).
Past infancy I have given up on reading the books and following the recommendations and just let my child and my gut lead the way...

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A.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh, do I hear you. My twin boys are the same. Even with naps (until they were 3), it was 11 hours max but mostly its been around 10 hours a night. I'm not a huge sleeper but their Dad is. Mostly I miss the freedom to sleep when I want to sleep. It kills me some nights to have to wait until 9:30 or 10:00 for alone time. Especially in the winter months when the darkness and cold makes me want to crawl into bed at 8. And there is nothing like getting up early (around 5) for some "alone" time and having a sleepy little one come get you and put "you" back to bed. Ugh. I suppose some day they'll be old enough to put themselves to bed.and skip the morning cuddling. At least at age 4, they sleep all night! I think they were 2 before anyone consistently slept through the night. Though I'm still waiting for the day when their Dad and I get the "big bed" all to ourselves. Like Houdini, they appear in the night. Ah, but this too shall pass and I know I will be sad when that day comes. Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son is 13 (will be 14 next month) and he does best with 9 hrs of sleep a night.
He'll sleep more if he's having a growth spurt.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Well, first of all, you have to understand what the "normal average" means. Average means that there are some who require less, and some who require more. It is a RANGE... and some are on one end of it, while others are on the other end, and then most fall somewhere between. There are probably a few outliers who are way out there apart from the "normal range". But not enough to include that number in the "normal range".

My kids, at ages 7 & 10, slept an average of 10 hours at night. My son was always still sleepy in the mornings (he was 10), but he is and always has been a very deep, heavy sleeper and has always been difficult to wake in the mornings and grumpy. He now, at 14, voluntarily goes to bed around 9:30 pm, and I wake him up around 6 a.m. He is still a little hard to get awake, and still kinda grouchy in the morning. My daughter (was the 7 yr old) doesn't sleep nearly as deeply/heavily and is easy to awaken in the mornings. And she wakes happy. She went to bed around 9:30 pm and got up at 7:00 and was fine. Nowadays (at age 11) she goes to bed between 9:30 and 10pm and gets up at 6 a.m., and she is fine. Still waking up happy.
And they are fine throughout the day. Not tired, or cranky or anything negative at all. Son's grumpiness is just first thing upon waking... well, that and the "typical" teen moodiness, lol.

They both slept through the night well from an early age and we never had any major sleep issues. (the short period around age 4 when our daughter woke up at night with a bad dream here or there... which is pretty typical I think). They also both gave up naps early. When our son was 3, it was a nightmare trying to get him to take a nap. I pretty much quit them altogether by the time he was 4. Our daughter was done before age 4, unless she happened to doze off in the car in the afternoon for 15-20 minutes or so.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

My 5 year old seems to "need" more sleep than my 2 year old, which I don't think is right and I actually wrote this down to talk to their pediatrician about...is my 2 year old getting enough??
My 5 year old was going to bed at 8:30 and gets up between 6 and 6:30 on his own. That's 10 hours. But then he has ALWAYS needed and wanted naps. He can sleep 1-2 hours in a nap on weekends and be happy with it. Not every single day anymore, but 3 days a week, I have him lay down for about 45 minutes on school days and have to gently wake him for dinner. We stay very active though, even more so now that he's in kindergarten: he walks or bikes a mile to school and a mile home from school with me, he's in Kung Fu, Awanas, and is currently doing extra training to prepare for a belt test and an upcoming tournament. He just learned to ride his bike without training wheels so after school he's on a bike, scooter, or in the backyard playing army and "building" things until I call him in. He is great about playing with his little brother in the evening while I finish up dinner, and after dinner we often go to the pool. Now with the weather cooling down and it getting dark sooner, I look forward to him going to bed more like 8 (no more swimming, etc).
My 2 year old goes to bed at 8:30 (same routine, with the warm bath or shower, dressing in pjs, brushing teeth, story time, prayer time, and getting tucked in) but he will "sing" to himself until 9 or 9:15 UNLESS we've gone swimming (which will help knock him out quickly). He wakes up on his own no later than 6:15, so that's only 9 hours sleep. We're very very active with him too though, and he'll sleep hard 2 hours during the day. Without the nap, he's cranky and miserable but with that nap, he's fine all day. He's great, actually, for a 2 year old.
Neither of the boys rub their eyes, yawn, get cranky, or are EVER sick (except sniffles sometimes). So maybe they're on the schedule that works for them?? But I thought a 2 year old would generally need a lot more than a 5 year old....but Victor only gets about 1, maybe 2 hours more. The best I can figure: Joseph gets 10 hours at night, and *sometimes* an hour in the day. Victor gets about 9 hours at night, and 2 solid hours every day, but despite the age difference, they are different kids, so maybe different needs?

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My GD, who is 10, sleeps from 9:30 - 7:00. I was worried that this would not be enough sleep - I just moved bedtime from 9:00 to 9:30 to give her a 1/2 hour of reading time before lights out. And she used to get up at 7:30 but now we have to leave earlier.

I haven't noticed any signs of her being tired and this morning she got up on her own. I've heard that if they get up on their own, they have had enough sleep so I guess she's getting enough sleep.

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N.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Before kids, I slept a ton. I think it might have been my favorite thing to do! :) My kids do NOT take after me. My 3 yr old goes to bed around 9pm and wakes up at 7am. It's hit or miss with the naps, but if she does, it's usually for an hour, and it will probably mean she will be in her room awake until 9:30pm or so. My 13 month old takes 2 half hour to an hour naps during the day and sleeps from 8:30pm until 6am.

So, no...you're not alone. My kids thrive on that amount of sleep. I was always amazed by the stories of kids who went to bed at 7pm and slept until 8am!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

The bottom line is to go according to your child's cues.

Per my kids, they have always napped... when younger. My son for example, was a REGULAR napper since he was a baby until about 5 years old. He napped everyday. The naps stopped, because he was then in Kindergarten. And after school there was NO time to nap... being there was homework and their after school activities etc. AND he went to bed at night, just fine at about 8:00pm. And he naturally wakes up each morning at about 6:30am.
My daughter, who is now 9, would still nap when she was tired, even at 7 years old. AND she and my son BOTH go to bed at night, at about 8:00om or 8:30pm at the latest. That is how it is, even now, daily, per their ages.
So my kids get about 10 hours of sleep at night. And they are both in school.

Me? Well I am the type that can function with the minimal amount of sleep. And I am a night hawk. My late Dad was like that too. I can function even with only 4 hours of sleep. My Husband is not like that. My kids of course are not like that. But I am.
Each individual is different.
Each has their own needs and cues, for sleep and/or naps.
And, it also changes, per the age of the individual.
I know of no adult... that has slept the same way they did, as a baby.
A baby, Toddler, child, Tween, Teen, College Kid, Adult, Elderly person... all have different sleep patterns and it changes, per age and age stage.
Sleep patterns, are never static nor the same all through a person's life.

Again, the bottom line is to go according to your child's cues. I KNOW my kids needs for sleep and/or naps, and their cues.
AND... if/when they are tired but we happen to be out or have a function to attend at night or whenever... I put my kids sleep needs, first. I never see it as their sleep times as interfering with my needs to socializing or time alone etc. Because, I rather have my kids get the sleep they need... instead of having them be sleep deprived and FUSSY the next day and not be able to function... at school. And/or get sick... because they are so lacking in sleep.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

if your kids are acting fine and not tired i say they are getting enough. i feel for you though, no time for yourself. i'd be miserable if that were our sleeping hours. no, in fact, i would cry all day every day :)
my kids are 8. their bedtime, since they were 2, has been 7:30 to (now, schooltime) 7. so 12 hrs. summertime, i let them watch tv in their room from 7:30 to 9, but they would sleep in.
BUT, let me point this one out, if my kids don't get that sleep, you can tell by 4-5 pm how miserable they are (and i get), i mean the whining for no reason, emotions all over the place, cranky. hmm no thanks. :)

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My friend has always sent her kids to bed at 10pm. They got up at 7 to go to school and they never took a nap once they started school. Even when their not feeling well they tend to stay awake too.

I have always observed our grand kids and they all took their 2nd nap of the day then were up for a while then each one of them started being sleepy around 8:30 -9pm. It was silly to me to fight about it so we make that their bedtime.

Now our granddaughter, she's 8 11/12, if she has low noise and is able to stay asleep she will sleep 12-13 hours per day. It doesn't matter what time she goes to bed, if she's not disturbed she is crashed out until about 10 or 11 the next morning. She does get up every school day and on time around 7am. On the weekends though, she's out for hours more.

i think that whatever works for your family if fine. They are getting 10 hours, that's a lot more than tons of kids in their school. Some don't even get 8 hours per night.

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S.S.

answers from Omaha on

If my son has to function the next day, he needs 10-12 hours of sleep most nights- does he get that? No. He's now 11, and his bed time is 8:30 but normally closer to 9 when he gets there. When he was 2 the ped told me he needed more sleep, as he would be up nearly all night if I didn't hold him down on the bed. I would put him down at 7 and he would be up every 15 minutes til 10:30 when I went to bed exhausted from chasing him, and the would still stay up most nights- then be hateful the next day. I too slept very little as a teenager and young adult- actually til I had my son- then slept very little as well due to him. Now I require as close to 8 hours as i can get each night and some nights more.

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K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son is almost 6. He goes to bed at 8ish and gets up about 6:45... Almost 11 hours...

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I think 10 hours isn't "less" sleep, if so, how much is typical? 12 hours? That seems like alot.

However, my kids, since the first week home from the hospital, slept in their own cribs, in their own rooms, for 12 hours straight....6pm to 6 am....with a 2 hour nap thrown in there.

Now they are 12 and 9. They are showered and in their rooms at 8pm, every single night. They don't have to go immediately to sleep, but they do have to stay in there. 8pm is when my and hubs time starts. lol They will read, listen to music, etc and then put themselves to bed. We have been doing this for YEARS and it really works. They usually fall asleep between 9-10pm and are up by 6, so they don't need a lot of sleep either and are not tired or ever sick. I think it just depends on the kids, same as the adults. Some of us need more sleep than others.

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