DD is mildly dyslexic. Her IQ is above average, but symbol interpretation is hard. She has a tutor once a week (we can barely afford that). But the school insists she is not "dyslexic enough" to get help through them.
Here is the problem: when she has homework or we try to get her to work on school work in areas where we know she is weak, it turns into a HUGE issue. She cries and drags everything out and turns it into a big production. This has worked for her because we dread trying to get her to do anything at home! But, I think we need to keep pushing or she quickly falls behind at school. But, I am afraid of doing serious damage to our relationship with her. Or just to her..... How do I gauge too far??
Thank you all! Especially you martha!! I was much more prepared when I went to the P/T conference and we cleared up alot of misunderstandings on both sides. We are advocating for further testing and evaluation as she is testing at above grade level in reading and other areas and below in math. Clearly since she was diagnosed as dyslexic and got intervention, her reading now matches her IQ, so we need to determine how it is impacting the math or if it is another issue all together. We are pushing now for the school to do more assessments to see what the problem is. Since she was "passing" they had no intention of doing anything.
You have gotten some great advice..
I pulled my daughter out and I homeschool her. She has gone from crying every time the math book was pulled out to asking for homework in math "like the big girls". I also have two high schoolers.
It took me all year last year to be very patient and sometimes we did half a lesson a day.
Good luck with her.
What grade is your daughter in? Is the tutor doing an Orton-Gillingham based reading program with her? Did they give you a measure of her phoenemic awareness? By symbol interpretation, did they mean her ability to recognize the letters or her ablity to understand the sound letters represent?
I would do some checking with the PA department of education to find out the rules that the district must follow for disablities that do not quailfiy for IDEA. If you do not have your own evaluation, I would try to find a way to pay for one from a nuerophsycholgist. There is a chance that you can get this covered by insurance, especially if you can have the order come from your physician, or a psychiatrist. IDEA has favored something called RTI, response to intervention, and the NCLB gives you some additional teeth. Children need not fail to quailfy for assistance and she is entitlled to make a year of progress in a years time, the trick is going to be realizing if she is off track before a year goes by and getting her what she needs. I think you can get this through the school, if you speak the right language and do the right things.
Can you tell me if they used the discrepancy formula to make their call? Did they tell you that her IQ was one number, and her reading abililty is not two standard deviations below that to make their determination? They are in a rough spot if they did, Response to Intervention is the preference now, so kids need not qualify for IDEA before they get intervention for reading issues, that is the whole idea behind RTI, that they get intervention before they are identified as being disabled, in the hopes that fewer children will actually carry the identification.
The place I would push is on the school end. Start wtih www.wrightslaw.com, read about dylsexia, 504 plans (some dyslexia intervention is offered this way) RTI, and Orton Gillingham based reading programs (alphabet phonics.) Also read "Tests and Measurements for Parents and Advocates."
You can PM me with the information and I will try to walk you through. If you have a Scottish Rite Temple in your area, sometimes they offer free dyslexia intervention, and easter seals is worth a try. I would call the PA DOE, and get some help there too, the department of exceptional children, or what ever PA calls their division that oversees school districts with IDEA and 504 issues will be a helpful source of information.
On the wrightslaw web site, you will find a "yellow pages" there may be some support groups in your area and advocates too, get her help as soon as you can. The reading window closes between age 8 and 9, and she does not have any time to waste!
M.
Schools will try for as long as possible to mainstream a child's learning ability. If it is not working and it sounds like its not then something has to change. Schools are required by state law to do a case study within 30 days of a written request. It has to be written and your better off to make it and put on the bottom cc: teacher, principal, special ed advocate and state board of education. you can get addresses for all of those on your local school's website. (only exemption to this will be if your child is in a private school) If your child is dyslexic there are ways to teach her and the school is responsible for doing them and providing what needs to be provided. The observation/case study will be done by her teacher, the school nurse, the school psychologist, the special ed person for the district, maybe the principal etc. they will not in any way interact with her they will simply be observing her during the day. you will then be asked to come for a meeting with all of those people who will give their reports. you will probably be asked to make sure she is up to date on eye exams and hearing exams. bottom line you are you child's best advocate. but you will have to be willing to accept the help they suggest. and one of the things may be that she can have the tantrum but the work must still be done so be prepared for that. the no homework thing is a blessing for a short time. but you wont' want that to go on for very long as it gives the kid the idea that he / she can skate through once they are able to do the work. my son had that as part of his iep for several years. but as he got older and was able to control the adhd the homework aspect was added back in. cause lets face it in the real world we all have to do "hard" stuff. I would ask in writing right away for the case study. (it may be called something different in your school district but case study is what it is called in illinois)
Start looking up/ googling "dyslexic advocacy" & "advocating for my child at school".
I've yet to meet a school that DOESN'T out and out deny responsibility, to making things extraordinarily difficult to receive your MANDATED aid (sometimes parents luck out with a teacher who plows through all of the red tape for them, but the schools alwaaaaaaays drag their feet and deny deny deny as much as they possibly can. If she has a Dx of dyslexia (no matter the "degree") the school is required to assist. IEP's &/or 504s.
Just as an example of a common dyslexic "accommodation"... my 10yo niece has NO homework. The teachers hate it. Every year (except one) they fight it. She is allowed to be given assignments, but they have to be completed in school with the help of the special needs teacher (where she goes for 2 hours a day NOT during enrichment time -which they also try and pull every year), and there are no deadlines allowed on that work.
My SIL has to fight for her daughter every year, and stay on top of the school throughout the entire year. But she greatly prefers figuratively fighting with adults, to literally fighting with her daughter.
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I've been here and no, you don't want to damage your relationship. Let the tutor be the heavy, but be sure you have the right tutor that knows how to work with her particular learning issue. You don't want your child to get behind, but let go of needing a straight A student.
My guess is that she doesn't want to cry or drag out homework any more than you do, but she just doesn't get it. It's overwhelming for her. She could do it if it were presented to her differently.
Possibly you could get scholarship funds for a school that might work with her, smaller classroom, etc... We put my son in a school that worked with children with ADD or learning differences. All average to above in intelligence. The nightly horrors of homework disappeared immediately.
Push for the IEP. If she is "officially" diagnosed with dyslexia, she qualifies. The teachers don't have the authority to say she does need more help from the school, and can get in trouble if they do. It is expensive to the school district to add additional help, and so teachers aren't allowed to say much of anything. You have to go higher. Just keep pushing the school and her.
If you don't push her, you are giving up on her. Yes, it's hard to do but it's necessary. I doubt if it will damage your relationship in the long run, and that's what you are in it for.
I am the mom of a Dyslexic child and the school is FAILING HER!!! You need to get a diagnosis in writting from her Dr, who did the evaluation and she needs an IEP!!!! Do NOT Let up with this!!! She needs to be given accomedations (sorry spelling is off tonight) for her school work and home work. She will need extra time to complete tasks and copies of the notes given to her by the teacher for each lesson. Have her homework be typed - there are MULTIPLE accomedations that are available to her. She will need this more so than ever when she gets to college!!!
Do NOT give up your child has a Learning Disability (I hate that word but you will have to use it - I prefer Learning Differance) and it is COVERED BY FEDERAL LAW!!!! If at all possible find an education advocate and talk to them - they know the law the best - do not let the school bully you around at all on this!!!
I know b/c I am currently undoing the damage I did to my own daughter by my mindset of "the school knows what is best" BS I know what is best and I know the law (better than before). Skip the school and go to the school board or the district and fight for your daughter - get your Dr to help out with this and if there is a major issue - use the ever effective "I will be going to the media with this" (it worked for many parents who have had to fight schools/school boards who don't want to help the children)
Email me if you want more info
Also checkout http://www.ldonline.org/index.php it is a resource for learning disabilities
Dyslexic is dyslexic there shouldn't be how bad it is to the school. It sounds like the school is trying to get out of their obligations with helping you child succeed. I would speak with a school law attorney and see what your rights as a parent are and what the school needs to be doing. Has she taken any state tests that show she is dyslexic? If not, I would recommend that first since you will need some proof. Does she get special help during the day from teachers or does she have an individual work plan? I would push until you feel comfy with what the school is providing otherwise as a parent I would not stop. Your child should be able to succeed just like any other student.
how old is your daughter? Our daughter has Irlens syndrom and was very resistant sound just like yours they ened up putting a prism in her glasses and she finally could see correctly . she is totally fine now.she had double vision also which has almost resolved. But she did have normal acuity. So she passed a regular eye exam. Dig a little deeper for her. Good Luck.
Just wanted to throw out vision therapies. My childhood eye doctor is now completely specializing in problems like this. He is in Pgh. PM me if you want info.
I love, love, love the idea of a college student tutor along with the tutor you already have. Even a high school student working on a senior project would be awesome. My son (not dyslexic) always responds more calmly of the tutor/helper is NOT me.
And don't stop advocating for your daughter. make the SD cough up what they need to for her to learn! Squeaky wheel gets the grease!
Best of luck!
I am in a similar situation as your daughter, and I wish I had more help when I was in school. You need to advocate for her to the highest levels for help for her dyslexia. If she really isn't that bad (as confirmed by at least one outside, independent tester) then you need to work to help her overcome her fear and frustrations around the areas she has trouble with. My guess is (based on my experience) that a tutor is the best way to do that-- maybe more than once a week. I don't know how old your daughter is, but there might be a college student or maybe even a high school student who can provide some additional tutoring? Or one of her teachers at school? Many of my high school teachers would stay late and work with me for free.
Check out this website www.dianecraft..org There are several things you can do yourself and she has some ideas for different learning problems
You won't damage your relationship with her, or her.
Everybody has to do school work, and everybody hates doing it. Some kids just do it and get it over with, other kids fight doing it every single time. However, no kid has ever been traumatized from being made to do their homework. I promise :)
Keep pushing till the work gets done.
