How Much Is Too Much? Too Many Sports?

Updated on March 22, 2011
C.R. asks from Vienna, VA
19 answers

First let me admit right off that I am sensitive about my daughters size and I think that is why I allow her to participate in so many activities. She has been off the charts since she was 2 months old and we have always had her in sports/activities to make sure that she is getting enough exercise and being healthy. She will be 8 in a few weeks and is about 110lbs and 4 feet 9.5 inches. Most people think she looks closer to 12 than 8 and she is definitely on the "thick" side. I try really hard to make sure that she understands that people come in all different shapes and sizes and we do try to emphasize exercise and healthy activites. I know she is not happy about being larger than the other kids and so I want to help her in anyway I can. Plus she really loves loves loves participating in anything and everything. No, really, she always wants to go to practice or do any kind of group activity. I am not worried that I am pushing her (honestly, I've reflected upon this and don't think I'm being delusional!). ;-) I am worried that I am allowing her to do too much. Right now she is scheduled for soccer 2 days a week, basketball 2 days a week and swimming one day a week (we've had this schedule since early Dec). Even as I type this I know that it sounds completely ridiculous to even consider letting her do more and yet we are... She would like to do additional soccer 1-3 times a week depending on what we allow. This would mean 4 week nights of practices and 2-3 games on the weekends. She does well in school and so far her activities do not seem to be interferring as that would influence my decision if it was. Please give me honest feedback. I shouldn't feel guilty about not letting her do more, right? Or should I go ahead and let her do as much as she wants/enjoys since it is keeping her active and she loves it?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses. This ended up being a moot point. After talking to her current soccer coach and reading all your responses, we decided to allow her to do soccer one additional day a week. Unfortunitely, we then found out that basketball practice is scheduled to be on the same night as the addtional soccer. So we are sticking with her current schedule for now. Thanks again!

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A.P.

answers from Gainesville on

I think that if she really loves the schedule and its not stressing you out go for it. But how are you eating dinner? If you just do fast food because the schedule is keeping you too busy I think you might need to take a step back to reevaluate. Exercise is awesome and can keep you healthy but you also need to consider the way you eat. Chosing a healthy lifstyle and healthy eating habits will benefit the whole family. I know its not as easy as it would seem. Good luck!

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I am a big fan of kids in sports of any kind I would say if she is enjoying it and it is not cutting into her school work then let her do as much as we wants. She might want to slow down as she gets older but keeping her active and happy is the most important thing

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I am sure a lot of parents on here are going to tell you it is too much and overboard. I will remind you to do what is best for YOUR child. What makes HER happy.

Our daughter would not have done well on this schedule, she also was in no way a fan of any of the sports you mentioned, BUT, she has a very best friend who LOVES physical activity.. She wanted to be on every team, in every sport offered. All through school her mother was overwhelmed by the schedule her daughter was on, but like your child, her daughter made excellent grades, was happy, did not complain about chores, or getting up early or staying up late.

This young lady was always class president from Elementary all the way through High school. She was also in Band, Marching band (Drum Major) and had her own band!

A life Guard each summer all through high school.

She came in 3rd in her graduating class and is now at the University of Texas, yes, in a Sorority, on a Soccer team. She runs marathons, she spends summers volunteering in other countries each summer..

She never stops.. Her younger sister is also super active, but not to the extent of this girl, but they just love being active. Hasn't hurt them.

Just make sure she is getting her school work done, rest, and you let she know anytime she feels she wants to slow down, you will support that too.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Some kids thrive on this type of schedule. I have an other recommendation. Theatre can be amazing for group activity, perhaps letting her explore another side to herself as she is pretty "sports heavy". She will be creatively using her whole body in a way that has nothing to do with structured exercise.

I think empowering her to do what she can, then perhaps pulling back when necessary, allows her to learn about how to balance her life.

I and my child could never keep this kind of schedule, but if yours loves it, go for it.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

If she likes it, has friends involved and is doing well in school- let her keep up with it. If things start to slip academically, then re-evaluate her activities. As she gets older she'll start to pick things that she really likes and will let go things that are fun, but not "great".

Just a side note (from someone who is also very sensitive about her size), please don't refer to your daughter as "thick". She's pretty much the same size I am (proportionally) if not a thinner... 5' 120lbs. I was the shortest in my class all through school and dealt with the opposite issue (people thought I was 8 when I was 12). My mom talked about it way too much with me and with others... led to a bad scene in high school and college. Just be aware that if you are writing this, you are thinking it and you may be saying it without realizing it.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would let her choose to either pick up more soccer or stay with what you are already doing. Especially as she gets further into school, it will be harder for her to rest and keep up with the school work. If it's working alright now, why not just maintain this level for the rest of the year? June isn't that far away.

We encouraged the kids to do at least one thing per semester, but no more than one sport at a time. My stepson had enough on his plate with AP classes and a couple of clubs. He didn't need to do more than wrestling. We even talked to him about not taking on more leadership roles than he could reasonably handle. Kids want to do it all sometimes, and sometimes it's too much.

Remember, too, this means your family is hopping to that schedule. I'd also bear in mind everyone else's needs, too, and your need for unscheduled family time.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I would say, be sure she's getting balance in her life. She needs and clearly likes the sports - great! But be sure to check in with her about whether she might want to pursue any other activities that are more oriented towards arts or learning. Encourage her to have one activity that's not physical. It's good to ensure kids aren't all sports, all the time. If she's a "joiner" you might find her just as enthusiastic about an arts class as about sports. Yes, it does not help her get exercise, but it's good for kids to have activiites that use a different part of their brains from the part that loves to move their bodies. You will see the benefit, as she continues on in school and it gets harder, of her being well-rounded. Plus, she might just realize it gives her a break from sports.

One last thing -- I'm glad to see you have her swimming. Soccer and basketball are team sports which is fine, but they're hard to pursue on your own when there's no team around! Swimming or other one- or two-player sports are good alternatives to team sports that require lots of people, coordination and travel time.

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D.D.

answers from Phoenix on

As long as she loves it, I say go for it. The only reason I would stop, is if her school work is falling behind.

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L.C.

answers from Allentown on

If she really wants to do it, I'd let her, once her schoolwork is OK and she's not overtired. We played tennis just about every day when i was a teenager and I wish I'd kept it up.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

I say keep her active-if she shows signs of stress-you may have to modify her schedule. Has she seen a doctor re: her weight? does she follow a healthy eating regimen? all the exercise she is getting and her diet may keep her at her current weight-but not help her lose-and she may grow another 6 inches without gaining weight??? Then she'd be on the charts.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I personally think the schedule you have her on now is perfect. She does have school in between those activities. If you want to step it up this summer while school is out fine but I still would be careful but over doing it. Do you have any other children? Their schedules are important too :)

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C.D.

answers from Columbia on

She sounds like an awesome, energetic kid. Just make sure along with keeping the grades up and stuff that you watch for signs of compulsive exercising, and make sure she is getting adequate time for muscle recovery between activities. My son loves soccer so much he would play every waking minute. Once in a while though I have to cut him back a little because I will hear him make little moans and groans when he gets up or something. They are kids, so all they know is that they like to play. We have to teach them to protect their bodies so they don't get hurt having all of this fun!
Good luck and enjoys the season!

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You do not mention any other kids and my answer 100% has to do with that. If you have any other children then yes, she is in too many activities. Children's activities affect the whole family-not just the kid involved. The family dynamic changes to accomodate the activity. This is not fair to the siblings when this has to happen every day. Especially when they have to sit through endless games.

If she is an only and you are 100% sure that she wants to do this and that she is not doing it to please you and if you don't mind chauffering her every single spare minute then OK. Also-if you are able to feed her in a nutritious way and not drive through or frozen food b/c you are too busy to eat.

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R.F.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter is the same way when it comes to sports. If she does not have something going on she is bored and cranky. She plays soccer right now for 4 teams, plays basketball and lacrosse has also started. I think that when they are young and have the desire to play you should let them do it.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

for most people and most kids it would be too much. but 'most' is not 'all', and you sound like a very thoughtful involved mom who is paying attention and knows her daughter well.
it would make me nut up. i need a nap just reading this! but if you can keep up and she's loving it? well, you know your limits and your daughter's interests better than anyone else. if it's working for you both, i say keep it up!
khairete
S.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I'm not a high energy person but have friends who are and their schedules would make me crazy. But they're not me. They love being so busy. I also have very tall, heavily built daughters who I wish were so into sports. Likely your daughter is going to go on to be a real competitive athelete and that will help with any hesitations she has about being bigger. Her teammates will be similar etc. I'd let her do what she wants and just keep a very close eye on her mood and schoolwork and if you see any signs it's too much, then make a change. Otherwise, this is how she is right now and it's nothing bad so go with it.

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K.P.

answers from Norfolk on

I am going to be the stick in the mud here. Yes, she enjoys this, but is she straining muscles or other repetitive motions that may cause a future injury that will be compounded by the fact that she is so young? I was reading in a parents magazine (I think it is the March issue) that children should rest for at least 3 months between sports to allow their muscles to heal/relax/etc.

I was always doing some kind of sport growing up. Mostly backyard stuff as we were in the country and organized sports were too far to try to get to with mom running an in-home daycare. I am all for keeping her active, just make sure she gets enough rest so that she doesn't have an injury that will plague her for life.

I played softball for many years and now at 31, I have a bum knee from squatting for hours on end (combined with a gymnastics injury at 10). Just something to keep in mind.

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

During the school year 1 sport at a time plus another activity like drama club or science club.
During the summer aloud to do a little more since there is more free time, but no school going on.

Now with swimming we did that year round and did not count towards our sport even though we were on swim team (and later I taught swim lessons, was a lifeguard as well as on the swim team).

I personally do not think it is healthy to also have a rush scheduled. Maybe set up an exercise time at home without adding another sport or thing that has you and child running around. It is good to be activity BUT it is also good to not have every minute of every day scheduled.

Do what you think is best for your child, if you see her stressing out or not wanting to do so much cut back. The one thing I do want to warn against is with scheudles like this in gradeschool is more doable, in high school I see the kids try to do the same amount plus school and they are breaking down and the parents say 'well you did it before' or do not step in and put a foot down and say no. These kids are hardly eating or eating fast food all the time (super unhealthy!!!!), way over scheduled but they are just doing what they did in gradeschool plus the pressure from friends or others to be even better and taking up more time.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I am in the same boat. We are missing out on painting classes because I can not force myself to add another thing. I like having one or two days to not go somewhere. She needs down time. If I let her go 7 days a week, she ends up wanting to skip "just this time" so she can play outside or with her toys. Don't feel guilty.

If you can find a M. to carpool with you on practice days(not a mooch who will let you always drive, but someone to split it), it would give you some time to cook and clean.

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