How Much $ Do I Give as Wedding Gift?

Updated on October 19, 2008
T.N. asks from Gilbert, AZ
18 answers

What is a good amount of money to give as a wedding gift? My husband's only cousin on his dad's side is getting married this weekend. They aren't very close, but we see him a couple times a year, usually at the holidays. It's a small family and my husband and his brother are groomsmen and we're the only ones with kids, so our son was asked to be a ring bearer. We're already spending $300 (!) on tuxedos for my husband and son, so I don't want to give a ton of money but I also don't want to come across as cheap.

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So What Happened?

We gave $50. That's what I was thinking and many of you seemd to agree. My husband wanted to give $40, but I didn't want to come across as cheap. I hate figuring out this kind of stuff! It was a nice, small wedding and we had to rent two tuxes for $300 total and we felt that was part of our gift to them. Thanks for your input.

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N.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I always give around $50 any other function is $20 to $30. I do bring extra dollars though for the dances and what not. Give only what you can afford.

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H.K.

answers from Phoenix on

After going to 13 weddings one year alone I hit on an idea at about wedding #3.
I buy a pretty frame (suiting the decor and style of the newlyweds home or taking my cue and colors from the invitation)and I frame their wedding invitation...
It is inexpensive, looks like you took time to be personal. I usually don't spend more than $15-$20 on this and it makes a great gift to send ahead if you aren;t attending the wedding.
You have spent more than enough on the tuxedos. I considered that the "gift" from all my attendants and told them so!

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S.L.

answers from Tucson on

$50 is plenty and cash is always appreciated

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi T., Being recently engaged, and planning a small second wedding, I would be thrilled with a gift of cash...ANY amount! However, being that it is our second wedding I am going to put that no gift is necessary since we live together and are already established. I would think any amount of cash would be hugely appreciated by the bride and groom. And as far as you guys being in the wedding, I told my wedding party (from my first wedding) that since they were paying for their attire, we did not expect any gifts from them, their love and support was what was needed! I hope this helps and good luck!!!

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

give what you can afford, after all they are well aware of what you have already spent. and a gift card is always a good gift and you dont have to go shopping either. if you dont want to do a gift card and they have registered somewhere, you may want to pick something out of there. one of the best wedding presents we got was a friend of ours took pictures with his camera during the ceremony and also during the reception so he got a lot more thanthe paid photographer got and different ones. they were special because he knew the people that we were close to unlike the photogorapher and he gave us the pictures and the negatives and two framed pictures as our wedding present. now he is pretty well off and id a proffessional photographer so he could afford to give us the pictures all developed so you may want to jsut take a few or take some and aoofer to pay for the develping of some or if you have a digital cmaera it owuld be better. but ake sure you ask if it is ok with their photographer ifrst ifthey have one. ours was really nice and he didnt mind but some of them are realy picky about having someone else take pictures

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L.G.

answers from Phoenix on

I think this depends completely on your current finances. I usually spend $25 - $50, depending on how close we are. But for the past 6 months, my husband has been unemployed. I have been unemployed for the past 4 months. This summer we got 4 wedding invitations so we have only given $10 - $20, depending on how close we were. I give from the heart and could care less if someone thinks I'm cheap. That is their problem. I think it's wrong to spend more because of what the recipient would think. I have always explained to my kids that every gift, large or small, should be appreciated for what it is - a gift!

I try and find sales or use coupons (Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons never expire even though they have an expiration date) so that the person gets more than what I can afford. I know I would appreciate your presence and the willingness to spend what you have already. Be sure to have your kids make a wedding card. You can have some fun with crafts. I bet they will love it.

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M.J.

answers from Tucson on

When my SIL(also my BFF) got married. My husband, both my children and I were in the wedding. Not only did we pay for my dress $200 and part of my husbands tux. I made the guest book, pen stand, photo album, garder belt, ring pillow, wedding arch. We also got them a $50 gift cert for Pampered Chef. We lucked out on the kids, we made my daughters dress out of my MILs wedding dress and I already had a white tux from when my brother was little. My son wore that with a maroon shirt.

Most people we know well we try and give them a $50-$100 gift cert to the store they register to. Others I try and make a nice gift basket with a bunch of the small stuff they register for. It usually cost between $25-$40

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K.B.

answers from Tucson on

$50 seems to be the standard. When we got married, everyone seemed to be on the same page. Close family gave more, close to $100-200. Hope that helps.

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M.C.

answers from Tucson on

If you are not close and already spending a lot of money... wow. I usually give $50 to people that I am close to and $25 that I am not close to. A thought, since you are in the wedding maybe you guys could get together with other members of the wedding party and chip in for a larger item that way in this economy you can all work within your budgets.

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S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I think $50 is more than generous. We just spent about twice what you spent on my BIL's wedding and $50 for a giftcard was all we could really afford. We figure that they have to decide what's important, you being a part of their special day or money. Hopefully it's being a part of their day! Hope that helps.

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J.R.

answers from Albuquerque on

WOW - now I feel cheap, but we can only do what our budget allows - right! And it sure can be hard in this present economy. I usually give off the registry spending about $30. Or I have made personalized gifts in the past. (ie: a concrete paver with their wedding colors, last name & year of marriage). That seems to be a big hit & it's inexpensive to make.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

We usually give $100 if giving cash. If I didn't know the person well, I'd give $50 - anything less would seem cheap to me personally, but it depends on your personal finances. Don't give more than you can afford. Or we get them something off the registry that we know they want/need, and you can sometimes get it cheaper with a coupon depending on the store.

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T.C.

answers from Phoenix on

I also give $25-$50 depending upon how close I am with the person getting married. But they will understand that you are giving what is in your budget and that you are already spending $$ on the tuxedos. I like the idea of pitching in $25 or $50 with the rest of the wedding party to buy a larger gift for them.

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C.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I'd keep it at $50-$100, with $75 as a good medium. Also, if you keep an eye on Amazon and other great discount/bargain sites, you may be able to find a great temporary markdown so that your $75 becomes $30-$45. And, of course, Bed, Bath & Beyond always has their 20% off coupons.

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C.T.

answers from Phoenix on

Well, You can see one of my posts about wedding gifts. And well, all of the totals seem low. I guess we give pretty hefty gifts even if it is not in the budget, but we plan for it. If we attend the wedding, we give $200+ depending on how well we know the person, which in our mind pays for our dinner plus a little something for the bride and groom. If we do not attend the wedding, like one this weekend, we send $125-$150 depending on the person.

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V.J.

answers from Phoenix on

I agree-- $50 is a reasonable amount. To make it more personal, you might consider getting a gift card instead of cash so it's more apparent that you made a special trip to get a gift with them in mind. I've given gift cards for Things Remembered so the couple can get something engraved to remember their wedding day. Or you could have a picture frame engraved for them.

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E.C.

answers from Phoenix on

We generally spend $20-$30 for people we are not very close too.

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V.P.

answers from Santa Fe on

If $50 wouldn't hurt you financially then I would give $50. Only give what you feel comfortable with! This is a wedding after all and it should be about celebrating the Union of 2 people, not about how much money they get, or who gives the best present.

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