March 09, 2012,
G.R. asks from Bellmore, NY on May 03, 2008
How Long Should 14 Week Old Be Sleeping?
I have a beautiful 14 week old baby and she sleeps for about 3-4 hours at a clip (at night). She goes to sleep for the night around 9 pm and i pick her up and feed her a bottle between 11 and 12 pm(as late as I can stay up). She starts fussing and turning her head back and forth and grunting about 3 -4 hours later. I never let it get to a cry as I dont want to wake everyone up and then i would have a baby to calm down which is unnecessary i think. i just went to the store and this lady was telling me her 3 month old sleeps from 9 pm - 6:30 am! I was jealous! My first child, a boy who is now 4, was the same.. i remember he was 5 months old when he slept for over 5 hours for the first time. is this normal? I wonder if i put her in her room (across the hall) will i not hear the tossing and turning and maybe she will go back to sleep? I tried to not wake her at 11 thinking maybe she would sleep til 2 or 3 from the 9 pm time but it didnt work and that night i was up 2 times to feed her instead of one. Any input or suggestions or just reassurance would be great. Thank you! PS - I do not believe in Ferberizing...more of an attachment parenting style..
T.B. answers from Rochester on May 05, 2008
My son is 12 weeks old and he is sleeping throuogh the night. What I found to work was moving him to his crib, which I did at 10 weeks. My son is an loud sleeper and he would moan, thrash, and move around but still be asleep. I still hear him doing that on the monitor, but he falls back to sleep. I think I was waking him up further before by trying to comfort him. Another thing that has helped is my son eats every three-four hours during the day. In the evening, I feed him every two hours to fill him up. For example, he eats every three hours until 6:00pm, then I feed him at 8:00, then 10:00, then put him to bed. The last feeding is always done in his room with the lights dimmed, following one last diaper change and nighttime massage. Then I rock him and sing a lullaby, then put him down. He is then good for 6-8 hours! I think trying any of this may help. Let me know if it worked!
1 mom found this helpful
L.J. answers from New York on May 04, 2008
Hi, i read your email. "Toddlers need an average of eleven and a quarter hours of uninterrupted sleep at night and two and a quarter to two and a half hours during the day. Children at the younger end of this age bracket take two naps , in the morning and afternoon, but by eighteen months they consolidate to one midday or afternoon nap" The bracket for age group falls from thrteen to eighteen months as per the book, "Good Night, Sleep Tight- The Sleep Lady's Gentle guide to helping your child go to sleep, stay asleep, and wake up happy" by Kim West.
I highly recommend this book; I have a 22 month old and a now 3 month old. I saw Oprah's show one day as I was holding my first baby and jotted the title; The next day got the book and read it at the wee hours when I should have been sleeping myself. I have to tell you, I too did not want to listen to my baby cry but I did what the book suggested and she is now a happy toddler who says "night night" and covers herself to go to sleep; I'm training, and that's what it basically is, training my newborn the same way. No one shows us or teaches us about sleeping methods once we are discharged from the hospital so I am thankful I got my hands on this book and I give it as a gift to expectant mothers as a baby gift.
I hope you can read it because it's not too late to learn, I hope this helps. Sincerely, L.
K.B. answers from New York on May 05, 2008
How long is your daughter sleeping during the day?
Where is your daughter sleeping?
Have you tried a sleep (get ready for bed) routine?
So that she knows night time is sleeping time and daytime is nap time, she should only be sleeping a max of 2-3 hrs throughout the day. If she is napping for more than 2-3 hours, wake her up gently and try to keep her awake.
Also try to have her most awake stretch being the hours before bedtime (say 5-8 pm). I'll also "tank up" my 8 wk old daughter by having her feedings (she's breastfed) closer together during those hours.
On the flip side, never wake a baby that is sleeping at night. My 2nd daughter is starting to sleep through the night at 2 mos. old as opposed to getting up at 3-4 am. She's been in her crib since she's been home from the hospital and I finally have turned the monitor off at night because she is a noisy sleeper. Now, I only get up if she is crying for more than 2-5 mins--its not Feberizing, just making sure she's really awake and needs something.
For awhile there, I think I was rushing into her room too early when she was still asleep. Now that she has found her hands, she'll suck on her fingers and soothe herself back to sleep. So, my point is... try having her sleep in her own room and don't rush in right away until she is crying for more than 2-5 mins. Don't worry, you won't wake up the household (I too was worried about that) if she is crying for a short time.
This is my most important advice & proven to work:
Try doing a sleep routine-- its easy. Bathe the baby, rub her down with some lotion (a nice massage can't hurt), put PJs on her, and do a feeding. We usually start this around 7:30/ 8 pm. I then wait until she has a limp limb (pick her arm up and it flops back down) before putting her in the crib for the night at 9:30 pm. And even if she stirs when I put her down, she falls back asleep on her own.
Some tips: I always use the same lotion for nighttime (J&J's lavendar bedtime lotion) and will use a separate lotion for the day. This way she associates that particular smell with bedtime too. And if we are away from home, the smell of the lotion helps to soothe her and make it easier to fall asleep in a strange place. As she gets older, you can add or subtract things to the routine (like reading a book and brushing teeth).
I also have a cribtoy (one of the ones that lights up and plays music). I'll turn that on too so that the baby will focus on the toy and zone out as I exit the room. Now my 21 mos daughter will turn it on herself if she wakes up in the middle of the night and will go back to sleep on her own.
I've done a sleep routine for both of my daughters (one is 21 mos and the other 8 weeks) and it is the BEST thing. They both go to bed easily and stay asleep for 10-12 hours. Its simple and it works. Trust me!
I hope this helps! Good luck & Sweet dreams!
P.S. answers from Rochester on May 05, 2008
Wait until baby cries. I'm NOT talking about ferberizing. But wait until baby cries. My baby sleeps through the night, but I have to LET her. She will fuss and squirm all over her crib, and even cry out once in her sleep, but I go in there and she already is back to sleep. One great piece of advice I got was to turn down the baby monitor. Baby will wake up and cry when she needs you. Think about it, don't YOU wake up and roll over during the night? I know I do. Why should I expect baby to be different? Good luck.
N.J. answers from New York on May 07, 2008
Hi G., i have a 14 week old girl as well. She sleeps through the night but asks for a feed every 3-4 hrs. She takes the feed in her sleep. My signal for feed time is when she starts tossing her head around and grunting.... my doc says its normal.... my guess is that your daughter is also hungry... i good luck :)
D.D. answers from New York on May 05, 2008
Hi G. - this seems normal really...my son didnt "sleep thru the night" till 8 months and even now at 10 1/2 months he still wakes once to nurse. Some babies just arent great sleepers - i wouldnt worry, she is still very very young and there is no need to "ferberize" or try any other methods. unfortunately, i read every book out there and guess what? My son didnt follow the books rules! haha Just hang in there and know that sleep will once again come around. Just enjoy all the precious moments with your daughter because as you know, they grow so quickly. Good luck..D.
A.G. answers from New York on May 05, 2008
HI!!! I have two daughters and both have been good sleepers, at night, almost since birth but not much for naps. My 7 yo stopped naps at 18 months and before that they were max a half hour and the 21 month old is giving them up now. On a rare occasion she takes a long nap then goes to bed late. In the hospital they told me that a baby needs to nurse every few hours but unless your daughter is sick or has problems she needs to nurse when she wants to. I have seen friends who nursed on a schedule but for me when the baby cried I nursed. My motto is "Let sleeping babies lie!" and it worked for me with 2 girls. The 1st nursed 14 months the 2nd about 18 months. As for how much she should sleep it all depends on the child. At 14 weeks the "books" tell you about 16 hours a day total. My kids from birth were about 12 hours TOTAL a day. Every child is different so you will have to figure it out! Sorry!!! I would be the first in line for a book of definates with kids but there are NONE!! Good luck and trust yourself. You will figure her out! A.
S.R. answers from New York on May 05, 2008
Every baby is different. My son was like your daughter, and did not sleep through the night without a bottle until he was about 8 months old.
J.T. answers from Rochester on May 05, 2008
I have a similar problem. I just read in the book "what to expect the first year" how to work with your baby to sleep through the night.
But first, my baby was 3 wks old when I put him in his own room. We all slept better because we didn't hear each other in the night.
For the book, it says to feed your baby as much as he/she will take at the last feeding of the night. Don't wake the baby if she/he is sleeping. They will get used to waking up at that time. It also mentions different ways to extend the feedings through out the night. By month 4, it says that babies do not need to wake in the night to eat, they can go longer. Of course, this isn't for all babies, but I know that I'm going to give it a shot!
I just started feeding my baby a little bit of cereal before bed with a bottle. He slept for 6 hrs! His little tummy was growling when he woke in the night, and he slurped down 5 oz of formula, and slept another 5 hrs! That's the most sleep I've gotten at night since before I was pregnant!
If you don't have the book, I would suggest buying it, or going to the store and reading p258.
P.M. answers from New York on May 04, 2008
I think you're doing the right thing. Don't start comparing, babies are so different from one another. 14 weeks is so young, and yours seems to be doing great with only waking once a night. If your baby is actually eating/drinking when she awakes, then she is hungry. You may want to consider decreasing night time feeding gradually, and increasing it by the same amount during the day. Congrats
E.M. answers from Albany on May 05, 2008
I had the same problem with my daughter. My ped said to only expect 6 hours of straight sleep at this age. So I had to move my daughters crib out of our bedroom because I think the noises of myself and my snoring husband were keeping her awake. When I moved her away from us she started to sleep much better. I also went to her before she started crying and I don't think that helped things. The other thing I did that really helped right away was making her wait for fifteen minutes longer between each feeding. I did get this suggestion from Ferber, but I did not let her cry. I started this on a weekend. I sent my husband in to console her and after the 15 min of waiting was up, I went to her and fed her. This helped so much by the second night she went 5 and a half hours. And it continued to increase over time.
I also have my daughter on a very rigid sleep schedual, but I wasnt able to get it to be consistant until she was five months old. Now she sleeps 10 hours at night and 4 hours during the day. She will get there it just takes time
T.P. answers from New York on May 05, 2008
Yeah to attachment parenting. It's a pain in the rear-but what can you do? Just keep on loving her-she sounds like she needs more of mommy than your first one. They each have their own temperaments. Try putting her across the hall and see if it works, it not, just remember that it will eventually end. My 10 month old just started sleeping through the night and he is not doing it consistently. I will just tell remind him of it when he's older and says that I don't love him :).
M.F. answers from New York on May 05, 2008
Congrats on your new little girl! My daughter is 11 months old and she has only slept through the night once (earlier this week actually!) She goes to bed at 6:30pm, wakes up at 2am to nurse and then goes back to bed until 6:30am. Some people are very lucky and have babies that sleep through the night at 2 months, but I don't think that is the norm. It sounds like you are a light sleeper if you are up before she even cries... she might also be a light sleeper. It sounds like you are doing a great job, I wouldn't change your routine until you are too tired to get up so much, at that point you can start phasing out some of the wake up by waiting 10 minutes before going to you daughter when she cries, it will give her a chance to go back to sleep on her own. I started this around 5 months with my daughter and over the course of 1-2 months she went from waking up every 2 hours to nurse to every 6-8 hours.
A lot does depend on their personalities though....
Best of Luck!
M.M. answers from Evansville on March 09, 2012
You may have heard this already, but have you tried keeping her awake longer in the day and teaching a schedule. Same feeding time, bath, nap, play time, and bed time. It takes 14 days to start a habbit. My daughter just turned 13 weeks and she sleeps 9-4 which is when I wake her to get ready for her day. I do the same routines every day and she works wonderful with it. When I go to work her father does the same routine and its like she has a sense of what goes on. If you can try something different I am not no expert but this may help. My little lady tosses and turns when she has bad dreams. I put the binky in her mouth and she goes back to sleep.
I also learned the hard way a warm, bundled up baby is a happy baby. I am a first time mother and I thought cause she was bigger I didn[t need to swaddle her still. Well I was wrong and when I noticed it she was even better
N.C. answers from New York on May 05, 2008
when you say she starts fussing and turning her head back and forth, is she sleeping?
my boy is also 3 months old, but he sleeps through the night (9:30 pm to about 6 am). there are times when i first put him in his crib (been in his crib since 1 month old) where i would hear him grunting and tossing / turning, but i asked my doctor and that's normal. their body "thrusts" because it's exercise to them, they sleep right through it.
again, when i first him in his crib it wasn't a straight through the night thing. i would wake up at 2-3 am, do a quick feeding and he'd fall asleep and i'd put him back in his crib for another few hours.
try putting her in her crib, it might help her and you get some sleep. she'll let you know if she's hungry.
A.M. answers from New York on May 06, 2008
hi, my daughter is 3 1/2 months. now she has slept thru the night(which by definition is only sleeping like 5 hour stretches) from very early on, but every baby is different. thats why i am against ferberizing, because some babies need more help than others to get to sleep. i am wondering if you are maybe making more work for yourself. DONT wake her up. after one month of age, you dont need to wake her to feed. in fact, it may be a disruption overall and her body may start expecthing this additional food. feed her the last feeding, and put her to bed. when she wakes, she should be hungry, but make sure she actually wakes up. im not saying full blown cry, but my daughter grunts and turns her head back to sleep several times a night, then around 4 am is when she does it and wakes up to nurse. if you could just get thru it for a week, you should end up knowing which time she is really waking up vs just stirring.
now although my daughter sleeps great at night, she does still eat as much as every 2 hours during the day to stock up. your daughter may eat thruout the day and night the same so she may be waking for food. but sometimes she wakes at 1 and then again at 4 and 6. and 4 hours at night is pretty good anyway