17 answers

How Long Did It Take You to Get Back on Track with Normal Life After Each Kid?

I read Em24d's question about feeling like a bad mom, and to help her put it in perspective I thought this question would help.

After you had your baby, how long did it take you to get the hang of normal life again? I'm talking about finding your balance between work, housework, other children, your relationship with your SO, running errands, playtime, just everything! Even the simple stuff like fitting in a shower and a load of dirty dishes.

After my first baby, I feel like I pushed myself and adapted really fast. After my 2nd, it took maybe 6 months to find that balance between 2 kids under 2 and everything else. After my 3rd, I just recently feel like I've got a grasp on 'normal' again, and he's a year and a half old!! He was a lot more difficult than my 1st two, and I contribute my chaos to him more than the fact that I now have 3 children.

So how long did it take you to get back in the groove of life?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Any day now!! :-) Mine are 36-33-24-20 yrs old. I think once you become Mom you have to re-define normal.

4 moms found this helpful

I don't think that it ever really goes back to the way that it was......it just becomes a different normal and it takes time to adapt. My baby is 9 months old, and I am still trying to get things back to "normal" - (if there is such a thing!!)

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Any day now!! :-) Mine are 36-33-24-20 yrs old. I think once you become Mom you have to re-define normal.

4 moms found this helpful

I don't think that it ever really goes back to the way that it was......it just becomes a different normal and it takes time to adapt. My baby is 9 months old, and I am still trying to get things back to "normal" - (if there is such a thing!!)

2 moms found this helpful

I think about 6 months or so. Once the naps get regular and the breastfeeding isn't constant :o) I've got 3 girls and the youngest is just about 6 months. I'm starting to get a little more sleep, she's napping longer and more regularly and my older two are kind of 'over her'.

2 moms found this helpful

I felt like by 6 months a lot of things settled but there were noticable improvements at 1 year and even more at 2 years. I have 2 kids that are now 2 and 5. Some things I am still struggling to fit in with 2 kids that I could do with one. Adding a 3rd for me would be chaos so I don't plan to do that.

1 mom found this helpful

Haaaa ha ha ha ha ha... you said "normal." With each child we settled into a new kind of normal. We did our best to stick with established routines, but had to maintain some flexibility. It was most difficult with our 2nd daughter (when our 3rd daughter was born) due to her rigidness and need for strict routines due to her Autism and OCD, but we managed and she coped (eventually) with the new normal. When she was born she needed routine right away... it was strange for me actually because my eldest daughter just isn't built that way. We went from being laid back and having a loose routine and generic schedule to having to be strict, strict, strict all the time.

It's okay, though. It can take time. I've had friends say that the new person in their family (each new sibling) often took until toddlerhood to feel like they belonged and had found their place.

1 mom found this helpful

With my first, about 6 months and with my second, close to a year. My second didn't sleep though the night until 10 mo. and even now at 16 mo. still wakes up sometimes.

1 mom found this helpful

I felt like a human after about 2 months and felt like I could function as a person after about 4. At 6 months I would say we had a new sense of "normal" and were all sleeping through the night which helps immensely!

1 mom found this helpful

I feel that after I quit nursing was a huge turning point back to a better & more maneagable routine. So, a little after the 1 year mark. I'm not saying it's back 100% ( youngest 15 months) but getting closer. I would imagine it's different for everyone, though. Everytime you add a new member to the family, it will never be exactly the same , again. I have 3 , also.

1 mom found this helpful

Three kids is WAY different than two kids for sure! I was shocked at the difference. It definitely added a level of chaos. No wonder you took longer to adjust to it!

I think my first took longest (oddly enough). Then my next, it probably took around six months. Then the next, a similar amount of time. Then after I had baby #4...I'm not sure I got back to normal before getting prego with #5. #5 was a surprise baby that came along when baby was only 6 months old. I'm now 19 weeks prego with number five and keep trying to get myself back on track. Out of the five, my youngest four will all be under five. it makes it hard to get a normal routine. But I know I will! It's just a challenge. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's an adjustment with all these little ones!

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with Christine F, its never back to normal. Life brings all kinds of joys and sorrows and everything in between. I kind of feel like my hubby and I just "juggle" whatever happens. We don't always have the houes perfectly cleaned or caught up with bills, etc. But we are happy and the kids are happy and that's the bottom line. :o)

1 mom found this helpful

Ha! ok, seriously....Alex will be 4 in June and I have not found my groove...maybe that is what happens when you space babies so far apart like I did ....I have a 15 yr old, a 10 yr old and an almost 4.
I have decided that this is the summer I take off the weight that I have been calling "baby weight" I think once they hit age 4 you can't blame them anymore = ) It was just a bummer, because before I got pregnant with Alex I had worked really hard to get into shape and then with depression during the pregnancy I let myself gain a ridiculous amount of weight.

1 mom found this helpful

I had to return to work fairly quickly after both my kids so my life had to go back to normal faster than I feel most people do. I was unable to breastfeed past the four week - just couldn't produce enough - and that actually helped tremendously. I have a friend that it took until her son was 11 months old because she was breastfeeding and he was not sleeping through nights until that point. I would say that once my DD's started sleeping over 6 hours a night my life became normal. That was about 12 weeks old. I had good sleepers generally. It didn't take that long with the second because everything was old hat. I "knew what I was doing" the second time around.

1 mom found this helpful

You know what it is? It's never back to "normal"; you just find a new "normal". And you know what else? It's OK to miss those aspects of your old "normal" life; it doesn't make you a bad mom.

1 mom found this helpful

Only 3 months with my first but pushing 10 months or more with my 2nd (they were only 17 mos apart and I ended up with a surprise c-section that threw my MIL into living with us for a few weeks *sigh*). I am about to have #3 and I see the whole preschooler, toddler and baby scenario is going to be a whole LOT of work and tears! I expect to feel back to "normal" once my boobies are mine again and I am not nursing anymore (probably around a year -- like with baby #2)...of course then there is the hormonal adjustment garbage I went through after I finished nursing last time -- so make that 14 months. Yes, it will be interesting!

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter is 3 months old tomorrow and my definition of normal life is totally different from before she was born! My husband I have been together for 9 years before we had our daughter (and she's our first) so getting back into the swing of "normal" won't be the same for us again.

With that being said, she just fell into a bedtime routine last week and we were able to have company over for dinner, have a glass of wine, play a board game.....it was the most "normal" we've felt in weeks and it was really great.

So I would say that it's taken me about 3 months to redefine a new definition of normal for our lives.

1 mom found this helpful

It happened pretty quick with the first he was 3 when sissy came into our lives I thought everything was going to be ok till the discharge came I (internal thoughts) didn't want to leave then came epsidoes long story so i'll just stick to episodes of feeling ill followed by symptoms from PPD,UTIs,IC,Gerd,theres more.It took a looong time to fell back to normal she was 18 months when I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd by that time things have settled down & I was ok but my last it was fine there wasn't much of anything I bfed her for an entire 15 months no bottles that was my BEST accomplishment the others well I had to give it up per drs orders with my 2nd & my 3rd he was 9 months & it wasn't enough for him.
Now life with 3 i'm greatful for all of them they all keep me up on my feet I wouldn't change the pitter patters in my home for nothing...

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I, who have 3 kids, and my neighbor, who has 5 kids, agree that after each new addition to the family, we sort of go through a "fallow year..." Sort of a slowing-down-ness, where we don't get out as much, or don't keep the house as clean, don't get enough exercise, don't cook as often as we should... etc. It takes about a year for us to feel like we're "up to speed" again!

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