How Hard Should It Be to Get a Baby to Take a Pacifier?

i tend to look at pacifiers as a useful thing for babies who have that oral thing going on. why bother to teach a disinterested baby a skill you're later going to have make him quit? i'd spend my time figuring what she actually likes and can be encouraged to do to self soothe.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi K. you didn't say your reasoning behind getting your daughter to take a pacifer. My advice would be not to force her into taking one. Not all children need to be comforted in that way. Some use blankies, teddy bears or pillows. So if she doesn't want it please don't force her for you may regret it later on.

K.,

My son was the same way when he was first born until he was about 2.5 months old. He would constantly spit out the pacifier when I gave it to him. I figured out that he would only take 1 type of pacifier & it is made by Avent! It is round & straight, it does not have any curves or anything. Also I think when they are that little its hard for them to hold it in their mouth. Just keep working with him & he will get it down. When you put it in his mouth hold on to the pacifier until you feel that he's really gotta good grasp on it then let go. Eventually if you keep doing this he will get it down. It worked w/ my son. Good Luck!

Hi- I also have a 10 month old and she hasn't taken the paci. I have started holding her facing me about chest level and putting the paci in so when she spits it out my arm moves to put it back in. She has been sleeping a little better. When she spits it out I leave it out, I just have it while she is trying to sleep because she wants to suck.

Neither of my boys would take a pacifier at all. I think it's an individual thing for each baby, just like so many other things are. As long as they figure out a way to self soothe, they will be OK without the pacifier.

You're probably going to get a million responses about how bad it is to use pacifiers, but I found them to be a lifesaver! My daugther had a very intense need to suck, but wouldn't take a pacifier at first. For about 2 months she would only suck on my right-hand index finger, palm up. Or my husband's - no one else's. I think we've still got calluses. Finally a nurse took bandage tape and taped a hospital-issue nipple to a washcloth -- rolled the washcloth up like a tortilla, folded it in half, and taped the nipple to the point in the middle. That worked for some time, and then finally we were able to switch her onto a regular pacifier. She had her preferences -- the Nuk kind, which is available in different sizes.

You may also find she just doesn't like them at all...I don't know if there's a "too late" point, but if you've tried different brands then she may just not like them. In that case, you may not have the consolation of it now, but at least you won't have to deal with weaning her off it!

I don't really understand why you want your daughter to use a pacifier, but I guess if she wants to use it she will and if she doesn't she won't. It's probably not a good idea to force it on her since she obviously does not care for it.

To answer your question, now is probably a good time to give up since you say that she rejects it every time. My daughter also immediately rejected the pacifier so I gave up with her fairly soon after.

hi K.! I didn't get my daughter to take a binky until she was about 4 months- she was just not interested. Her babysitter showed me how to do it. Once she was done nursing, I popped the binky in her mouth immediately, every single time. THen I'd rock her and hold her close for 10 min or so. The key is to NOT give it when the baby is hungry or fussy- she knows right away it's not food, and it'll make her mad. Instead, it is a comfort item, and works best when the baby is calm and full. She'll get used to it that way as a comfort source, and will ask for it when she needs comforting. Now my daughter (15 months) uses it to fall asleep or when she is frightened or cranky. I was really rather strict about when she got it though, so as to not foster dependence. She ONLY was given a binky after she was fed and as she fell asleep (i got really tired of being her pacifier while breastfeeding her. got old and exhausting really fast). I don't let her have it any other time. I know a lot of people say that it's bad for kids etc, but my personal feeling is that if your judicial about the use, it can be okay.

I will echo what some of the other moms have said: My first kid wanted nothing to do w/ a pacifier--would spit it out so fast it practically bounced off the wall. With my second...well, we recently got her to give it up, and she's starting college next year. HA! Seriously: I rarely saw her without her boppy until she turned four. Then I told her that we'd put all her boppies in a box for when she had a little girl, and she agreed. She's almost eight now and just the other day checked to make sure the box with her boppies was still there.

They come out of the womb the way they are, sometimes...

I was in the same boat as you. Some babies just need to suck and I didn't want to be a human paci. My second was not interested until she was 3 months. I all but gave up offering it, but then all the sudden she figured it out or something. She would only take one kind, so you may just want to buy 3-4 different kinds to see what she likes. I'd give it another month or so of trying and if she's still not interested then she'll have to learn to self sooth without it. I know that's tough for you cause you know if you 'nursed' her she'd be happier. Just make sure when you nurse her it's because she's hungry or you'll be nursing around the clock. Good luck.

Hi there. My daughter NEVER used a pacifier. Some children don't and that is fine. Sometimes it is a comforting mechanism and supports a natural sucking reflex for babies. Others do not seem to want or need them. If your child seems happy and well-adjusted,don't worry. My child is now 15 but I remember that there are several good books out there about raising children that have very practical information that would be helpful for you. You will find that your little girl may have needs and a personality that are quite different than your son's and you should support her and not try and duplicate (e.g. pacifier) what you experienced with your son as a baby. I wish you much luck with your beautiful family.

If she doesn't want it then leave it alone. My daughter NEVER took the pacifier. I just figured it was one less thing I'd have to transition her off of later.

I don't think it was the lack of a pacifier that made your son like that. I think that was just who he was. My girl wasn't like that at all and again, she never took the pacifier. She simply wouldn't take it.

Hi - With my son it was something that had to be tried again and again. Also, make sure you are using the infant pacis - or the Nuk brand pacis. My 4 month old still will not take "normal" pacis. We started with using it when we could hold it his mouth while cradling him and pushing him up against my chest (kind of like as though he were on the boob). The nanny was also really helpful with this - you just have to be persistent. Now, he really does like it and uses it most of the time, but occasionally refuses. Hope this helps!

My first child took the pacifier for the first 6 months but with reluctance. My second two didn't want it at all. Now this one my almost 4 month old loves his binky and wants it all the time. I think it is just her preference of why she doesn't want it.

my son never took one...as far as I'm concerned its just another habit you will have to break. If your baby wont take it dont stress it

I'm with Diane. Why does your daughter need to take a pacifier? My daughter took it for a week or so when my mom could sit with her and rock her, but she would spit it out after that (and I didn't always have the time to sit with her and hold it in). She never took one and it has never been an issue. If she cried I solved the problem in other ways and moved on. She had brief stints of sucking on her fingers or thumb, but they never lasted, and now she's 1 1/2 and we've never missed it. Honestly, after seeing some of the problems other kids have with not being able to give it up, I'm glad she never started!

K.,

I had to laugh, because I felt the same way with all 3 of mine. I wondered if they were broke or something. Everyone else's child seemed to be sucking on a binky so what was wrong with mine? LOL I finally gave up with all 3 boys. I don't remeber them breastfeeding any differently as a result. Although I BF on command anyway. I said once that I was the 'cow on call'! LOL!!!! I love to get my babies on a schedule. So when I had my 2nd son in 2000, the oldest was in speach therapy 3 times a week and other stuff. My husband worked a ton of hours back then and I basically did it all on my own with those 2 boys. Keegan was on such an awesome routine that you could bank on him eating every 3hrs. So I'd schedule everything in between his feedings. Made life so much easier for all of us.
My sister's son, who's now 1yr old, will not go to sleep with out his 'pa-pa'. She has called me at midnight before because she couldn't find it and had to go buy another one. I guess there are ups and downs to everything, right?

Take of those babies and enjoy cause they sure do grow up fast!

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 13, 8 & 2 yrs old and married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs. I love to help other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal!

If you are breastfeeding, your baby gets all the sucking he needs. He doesn't need a pacifier. My babies would never accept them. Af

Hi K.!

Sometimes kids just don't want the pacifier. My son was obsessed with his pacifier, and used it nonstop. He was very dependent on it. My daughter absolutely would not take the pacifier. I too tried to get her to use it because it is a good soother, but she absolutely refused. Look at it this way, you won't have to take it away from her when she is too big, one less hassle!!

pacifier's are not that great for children.

if she dosent want it then that is good, because that is one less thing you need to wheen her off of.

also dont run to her every time you hear her cry. teach her to slefsooth.

my son didnt care for it too much, when he got realy up set he would some times use my clean fingers or i would try and give him the passy and he would use it for long enough to calm himself and then spit it out.

I wouldn't encourage pacifier use. I used it for one child who was colicky because I was at my rope's end.

Especially for breastfeeding, I would avoid it if I could. It can start to replace a feeding here or there, and it can interfere with weight gain. Research conducted all over the world has found a correlation between pacifier use and shorter duration of breastfeeding.

Whenever a substitute is used for the breast there are consequences. You increase the risk of early weaning, ear infections, slow weight gain, thrush, dental caries, incorrect suck patterns, earlier return of Mom's fertility, and mastitis.

The funny thing is that we call it 'using my breast as a pacifier' and tribal women who don't use pacifiers see us as 'using a pacifier as a breast'.

(all technical information aside, I think it makes life for you more difficult as time wears on and it becomes habitual)

If you want to try to get her to go a bit longer between feeds, see if you can increase hindmilk for increased calories... encourage her to stay on one side longer, sometimes a nursing necklace helps when they start to become interested in checking things out.

Good luck!

I tried to get my first son to take the pacifier. A month went by with little success because he couldn't keep it in his mouth. So I didn't really force the issue. He liked it when I'd hold it there but the point was for him to do it himself so that I could do other things. Well, by the time he was 6 months old I tried again....he took it like a pro. I don't know if this will help you. My second boy is a finger sucker. I would much rather have a finger sucker then one that takes a "binky". Finger sucking can be encouraged if that's the way your child would like to go.....It's always with them and never gets lost :)
Good luck!

I would not recommend using the paci if at all possible, especially since your daughter seems disinterested. My son took to it right away, and I let him because he had so much trouble with sleep early on. But it has caused dental trouble, not with the teeth, but the roof of the mouth, which is much more difficult to fix than just getting braces. Be very happy that yours doesn't want it and I say don't push. Try to give her something that won't deform the mouth, such as a really soft blanket corner to rub, suck on, etc. Anything is better than a thumb or paci. Good luck!

You can try a couple of different nipples on the pacifiers but if she doesn't want it don't force the issue. Breastfed babies do want to breastfeed what seems to be constantly in the beginning. BE PATIENT. Good luck.

I wouldn't push the pacifier with you son you thought it was bad because he was clingy but for one he was clingy because of your responds to to him not having one and next you don't understand what you didn't have to ween him off of. You just need to understand that the baby has to learn to self sooth weather it's a Binky or something else. My daughter twirled her hair. (Not tightly just a little) and that put her to sleep. You can't feed her more or feed her to sleep. Feed her (rub her or whatever to keep her away while feeding) than put her to bed awake. That way when she's tired and she will fall to sleep. She will get used to falling asleep in a dark room by herself at a young age. If you nurse her to sleep that's exactly what she will get used too. My daughter never used a Binky and I also Nursed.

Actually it's healthy if your baby doesn't want a pacifier. Especially since she will be able to learn to self soothe. I have a friend whose #2 child didn't take a pacifier and it was great for her. Her daughter also learned early and quickly how to soothe herself to sleep. Pacifiers are a great tool for parents. We look to be able to just pop one in and quiet our children. I wouldn't push it with her. Especially if she shows no interest. Good Luck. I am a mom of a 3 yr and a 19mo. The first one took a pacifier, the second one didn't and then I made the mistake of giving the 2nd one a pacifier on an airplane at 10 mo....she still has it.

I had the same problem with my 11.5 month old dd. We finally gave up and like with your son, I'm her pacifier since she is breastfed. I'm pregnant with #2 and with this one, I'm giving a paci asap, right after he/she is born in the hospital. I can not go through being a pacifier to another child. It's too hard and tiring. My SIL gave a paci to her 2 boys right after they were born in the hospital and they both did fine breastfeeding after wards. So I'm not too worried. Sorry I don't have any advice, just writing to say I understand what you are going through. I agree that you should get different brands of pacifiers and see if she will take to any one in particular. To this day I is still try to give her a pacifier, LOL, just to see, but she just chews on it and plays with it. Good luck!

I tried to get my son to take the pacifier, as well... no luck. In the end, I was happy though since I never had to wean him of the pacifier habit and he didn't need it to sleep through the night. Might be tougher now... but easier later.

I didn't read all 44 responses to see if anyone addressed this, but I thought I'd throw this in:
Breastfed babies don't "suck" to eat, they use a combination of tongue movement with a sucking motion. Therefore when a pacifier is put in her mouth, her tongue automatically pushes it out. She's not rejecting the pacifier, she doesn't know how to just suck on it, because that's not how she eats. Persistance will help, just takes tons of patience. I have three kids and none would take a pacifier, but I didn't want them to, so I didn't push it. My friends all did, though!

Good luck!

Neither of mine would take a pacifer either but the up side of that is that you won't have to endure the drama of them kicking to "paci" habit or the potential tooth alignment problems that can result from its use.

my first daughter took it and was very attached to it from day one til she was 2 and a half!
our second daughter refused it completely.

They pretty much choose to like it or not :)

Hi K.~Ok, here's my response. I have 5 children, 3 took the paci and 2 didn't. I never really "forced" the paci on any of them except the last one (now 16 months) because he had colic really bad and it did help keep him a little happy here and there (which in turn made me happy too). We had such issues with him as far as nipples went because we had to change him from the disposable bottles to the Dr. Brown's. Therefore, it made issues with the paci too. What I am trying to say is that you may need to experiment with different types and sizes of paci's to see which works best for your little one. My little guy is out of the colic stage and doing well these days and only uses a paci on occassion (such as taking a nap, or when he is fussy and we are out somewhere, or in the car when I am trying to get him to sleep on a trip). I would say, however, if you can get away without using one, it makes life a lot easier down the road. I personally think it IS possible to force the binky, but my question is, Do you really want to? I HAD to because of the medical issues at hand (and the doctor recomended it), but you may not want to if you can avoid it. Hope this helped some. Good Luck to you and yours.

Hi K.,

I agree with the second poster. I'm not sure why you are so intent on using a pacifier. I did passively try it with both of my boys, but when they didn't seem to want anything to do with it, I trew the binkies away without a backward glance.

The fact is that pacifiers are more the provenance of bottle fed babies. The nipple of the pacifier is just too different than the breast for breastfed babies to be wholly comfortable with it.

I don't see anything wrong with a baby being dependant on their mommy. They're only this little once and someday, you're going to miss nursing them, so I would recommend that you just enjoy this time. I know it can get frustrating when you want to get something else done, and a binky would help in those times, but for most nursing babies, it's just not going to happen. Sorry I couldn't give you more advice to help with getting her to take it.

This may sound like a silly question, but is the pacifier the right size? I had no idea that they made them in different sizes until I tried to put one that was too big in my son's mouth and he kept spitting it out. I found one that was the right size and he did really well with it.

He nursed just fine and gained weight just fine. His teeth are great, so no dental problems. We "weaned" him off the paci starting at 1 year old (only bed, nap and car rides) then took away those things by 18 months.

If she isn't taking it be glad. I can't get the passy away from my 2 yr old and it can be bad for their teeth. They use their hands and fingers for a replacement. Don't force her to take it, if she doesn't want it then leave it at that. She is better off without it. Good luck
Here is a question, Why are you wanting her to take it so bad?
S. h.

Some babies just won't take a pacifier, you can try the thumb, but I was a nanny and both of the older children, no problem but their youngest came and wouldn't suck on a pacifier or thumb, ever. I think at this age, isn't not too late for her to take it if she wants it, but she just may not like it. Sorry!

Hi K.,

My first child took the paci right away, my 2nd didn't take the paci until he was atleast 3-4 months old (but then it was a struggle to stay on too) but eventually he got used to it. My 3rd and last is 2 months right now and the paci would not stay in, although what seems to work for us was if you breast feed get the ones that looks like the nipple (they have MANY MANY kinds out there) you just need to experience which one is best and which one your daughter will like. With my 2nd child we went through 3 different kinds of paci (different nipple shapes) until he found the one he liked and stayed on! Don't be fustrated just keep on trying until both of you find the perfect one! Now my 2nd won't let go of it and he's 20 months old! Oh! Make sure it says 0-3 months or something like that because they have different sizes :)

Good luck in Paci finding! :)

My dd is almost 7 mo old now, and she just starting letting me give her the paci. She won't take it if awake, but after she falls asleep I can sub the paci for my boob and she's happy. Which roughly of course means that I can get out of bed now- she used to wake instantly when I tried to get up after she was asleep.

Also, to mention, some kids only like certain types of pacis. Both my dds only like the non-orthodontic regular pacis (like MAM, but not the straight soothi type) and they have to be latex, not silicone.

My infant son was hospitalized and the hospital wanted him to take the pacifier because he was unable to eat for a while. They used glucose water or sugar water. They simply dipped it inside the water and gave it to him. He loved it ever since. I just made sure that I only used the pacifiers when necessary.

Also be sure to use the ones that are appropriate for infants. Hospitals suggest using the green hard ones that they give at birth. They do not disturb the formation of the palate.

Pacifiers are a life saver to parents but really they are not that good for children. Be sure to get him off of them before he gets his first teeth.

Maybe a different brand would help. I had good luck with the soothie and mini mam. Both of my daughters used a pacifier and breastfed for 14 months so I think you have to do what will work for you. Good Luck!

It could be that her sucking isn't strong enough to hold the paci. My daughter never got the hang of it, and turned to her thumb.
My advice is that if you can teach her to self soothe, without the use of a paci or thumb, you'd be doing good, becuase then there is nothing to learn to live without.

M.

I nursed both my children who nursed like pros and then they both weaned themselves at the end of the first year. No weight gain problems - one is in the 5oth percentile for height and weight and the other is 98th for height/50th for weight. We never had thrush, breast infections, low milk supply, dental issues or any of that.

I agree that some kids don't enjoy the paci. My first liked hers but my second LOVES hers and I am sure personality has a lot to do with that. I did have to teach them both how to take the paci and keep it in there - not in a forceful way or 'against their will', but just the same way that you have to teach a newborn how to nurse. I just gently held the plastic 'wings' until they got hold of it, but if they were trying to spit it out forecefully or crying I'd immediately remove it. At two months, a lot of that is just a reflex as to nurse the tongue moves forward and for the paci it moves back.

As long as you don't use the paci as a substitute for nuturing or mealtime then I think it's fine. When people talk about 'learning to self soothe' a lot of times that means thumb sucking or another method. I use the approach that as a newborn they can't self regulate the paci, but eventually they can and I view it in the same way as sucking the thumb - it's available anytime they need it as an infant with weaning the use of it to sleep after the 1st year. My oldest used her paci for sleep only until she was 3. We told her when she was too big for it it would break and we'd have to throw it away. She bit it one night and it cracked so we threw it away. She cried for about 30 minutes and asked for it a few times and that was that. My youngest who is now about 2 1/2 still loves her paci but only uses it for sleeping. We plan to take it away at age 3 for her too, I am sure with much more resistance. But that's just how we roll here :)

It's your decision whether or not to use a paci - just like whether to breastfeed or bottle feed, to use cloth or disposable diapers, what daycare provider to use, etc. Do what makes you feel most comfortable. As long as there are mothers there is always plenty of criticism to go around, regardless of what you (we) do.

Hang in there!

I would just give up and move on. My little girl never did take on either. And if you look at the bright side, you'll never have to break the habit.

Also, I've read that it can be a little too easy to skip the special attention that babies need if they can simply be quieted with a pacifier. (You can pay as much or as little attention to that idea as you like.) Maybe at least the idea that you are giving all that "special mommy attention" can make you feel better about the extra work that comes along with a baby that won't take a binky. Just remember it gets easier.

Hola K.... I had the same problem with all three of my kids. I kept thinking it would make my life easier if they would just take it but in the end, i'm so glad I listened to 'them' when they kept refusing it. All three of my babies just spit it out, wanted nothing to do with it at all!! I feel that kids only get dependent on things if we, as there parents, let them. For example with what I was trying to do with the pacifier... after all, it would only be one more thing that I would have to ween them from later. That's just how I feel so I don't know if this helps you at all or not... I would say, if they are refusing it, it's usually for a reason. Good luck!

Both my boys used them and took them quickly. Although, with my first, we bought one that was too large for him and he would spit it out. Try different shapes and sizes.

As a side note, I had no trouble taking the binky away when they were about 2. (Personally, I think that it is easier to take a way the binky than a thumb.)

I agree. She may just not be a pacifier kid. I apparently never liked them, and my daughter is so-so with them. She's also breastfed and sometimes I do feel like a human pacifier, but other times she just prefers to chew on her own fingers. The feeding (or non-nutritional nursing) you experienced with your son could have been comfort, or could have corresponded with a growth spurt.

I noticed my daughter didn't like certain textures/materials. I had her using the brown nippled pacifiers, and she liked those. When I tried to switch to the clear silicone, she spit it right out. Also, some are shaped differently, and she would spit out ones she wasn't used to. So, try some different brands and materials and see if there's a different one out there she likes.