How Far Apart Should You Have Babies?

I have 3 kids, 6, 4 in a couple of weeks and almost 19 months. All girls. I didn't experience any problems with jealousy in the oldest two when my youngest was born. My oldest was like a little mom to her. She wanted to feed her and hold her and everything. My middle one (she was just 28 months when the youngest was born) was kinda indifferent. She wasn't jealous, but it was more "hi baby" and that was about it. Once the baby got older, she played with her more.

My children are two years apart and I had no problems with my son. Actually his little sister was born two weeks before his 2nd birthday. He loves and adores his sister and is VERY protective of her. Even now as they are older, he's 9 and she's 7, they are still close. I hope this helps.

My first two kids are pretty close in age...they are 6 & 7 now. These two are as close as can be, inseparable, I couldn't imagine it any different. Then my surprise baby is 15 months old. Jealousy is going to happen at any age! My daughter was 4 going on 5 when the baby was born and she hated the idea of having a little brother...she was extremely jealous the first few months, but she has grown to love him and thinks the world of him. Jealousy is going to happen, it also takes time to get over, but with your love and support your child will do great with adjusting in time. Just show your toddler that you still love them and include them into little tasks like "Bubby/Sissy needs a diaper, will you get mommy a diaper and help me?" It made a lot of difference with my daughter's jealousy. Good luck in your decision!

I'll bet you get all kinds of advice on this one! My boys are 4yrs apart the youngest a surprise! Lol! We tried for our first for 5yrs, he was the first grandchild and last hope for carrying on the family name. He also had some serious health issues so to say he was accustomed to being the center of attention would be a huge understatement! I was worried but he did sooooo well! I involved him in everything. He was 3 and i let him pick room decor, took him to the ultrasounds, had him help pick a name, discussed what he would teach him and what he might look like. He talked to caleb in my belly everyday and kissed him goodnight every night. If he was having a day with less interest in the baby i would tell him the baby could hear him and his big brothers voice was a comfort in that dark place. I always spoke with enthusiasm and bragged on connor about how he was already an awesome big brother to anyone who would listen! He adjusted very well, if your ready that's all that counts but i do have to say i'm a fan of four years apart one out of diapers but they still enjoy each others company!

I have 2 daughters 23 months apart and I think it is great!! It is also very tiring- especially the first 3 months or so! My oldest is great with my youngest... very little jealosy. My oldest is 2.5 and is in this stage where she wants to be treated like a baby sometimes but we never encounted any major issues. I say do what's best for your family b/c as long as everybody's happy- that's all that matters!

I have 4 kids who are 7, 5, 2 & 10 months. I prefer the 2-3 years apart. They become great friends. My firstborn loved his brother but his grandmother was not allowed to hold the new baby. Everyone else was fine - no jealousy - but "Mimi" couldn't hold the baby. My girls are 18 months apart and that was more work than I was ready for. I didn't enjoy potty training while nursing. I think the most important part is to include the older sibling in the arrival of the new baby. Good luck!

Hey J.,
I am pregnant with my second due in January and my daughter will be turning 2 on New Year's Eve. They will be exactly 2 years apart. I dont tend to listen to what everyone else says about having children a certain amount of years apart. You have to do what you feel in your heart is right for you and your family and dont let other people tell you how to do yours. Everyone did what was right for them and if you feel that you are ready then go for it! As you know your kids are the greatest thing in the world and you know how your first will react to the second. You just have to include them in everything so they dont feel left out. That is what I plan to do! So girl do what you feel is right for you and your family and dont worry about all of those sayings about how many years apart they should be. All children are different and they all react differently to situations!
So Good luck and Congrats on the Marriage and Babies!!!!!

I certainly think that's a very personal decision, and that you could have a great experience or a difficult one with any age difference (whether close together or spaced out more). My children are 22 months apart. I've had a lot of people tell me they LOVE that age difference ... we didn't "plan" our children's arrivals, we just let it happen naturally! ;)

I've had a good experience overall with my two being nearly two years apart. They're very close already (my son is almost two and a half and my daughter is 7 months). He's been really good with her, and has adjusted well.

I will be honest and say there are days that having a child in "the terrible twos" and a newborn that have been challenging. But, I like having them close together and think it will get even better as they age! ;) You just have to decide what you think will work best for you ... best of luck to you!

I have 5 children. I have experience both ways. I have 7 years between my 1st & 2nd. I think that is too long to wait b/c she was rotten being the only one for so long. My next 2 are 3 & 4 yrs old now (17 mos apart), and I think that is awesome. They play so good together. They can't stand to be apart from eachother. I breastfed them together too. They have the same interests being so close in age. My next 2 are twin boys that are 8 months old now. I am glad to have them as they can keep eachother company also. I love all my children dearly and wouldn't trade them for the world, but I wouldn't recommend having 4 children under the age of 4 if you have a choice before doing it.It's very expensive with my 3 & 4 year olds still in pull-ups at bed & nap time, and diapers for twins. It wasn't so expensive or h*** o* me only having 2 in diapers. But having the 3 girls that play & make messes constantly & the twins that need my constant attention is very challenging. It's really hard to spend good time with each one. Although, I think that when they are all a little older, we will have the best time together, and I'm hoping it will be much easier on me with them being more independant as they get older. Hope this helps you in your decision.

I think it's a toss up. You never truly know how your older child or children will react to a new addition to the family. Our children are three years apart and there's never been an issue. Our oldest is a girl and loves to nurture and take care of her little brother, I'm not sure if that makes a difference or not. My sister has 4 kids, all of them 2 years apart and there's never been any dramatics over attention with hers. There are a lot of factors that go in to play on how your child is going to act. Some of them are how you prepare them, some is just the oldest child's personality and how they handle change and some is the reality of it all and how parents handle the first born and second born once everyone gets home and starts adjusting. I'm not sure if girls do better than boys or vise versa.

best of luck

my children are 6 years apart. We decided not to have another until we were settled in our own home even though everyone wanted us to have another. Which we found out we were expecting 5 days after we moved in to our new house. My advice is if your ready have another if your not wait awhile some people can handle 2 in daipers but i know i couldn't Good Luck in which ever you decide. :)

I think there are pros and cons for having them close and for waiting. My kids are 14 months apart - my son is 20 months and my daughter is 6 months. Everyone says the first year is the hardest and they are absolutely correct! But once the little one is mobile, they'll be playmates. Plus you're able to take your kids places, like Disney World or ballgames, without the youngest one holding you back. My son, even at such a young age, was jealouse for a couple of months.

However, if you wait, your older one can possibly help you around the house, you won't have 2 kids in college at the same time, and you'll feel like you got to spend quality one-on-one time with each child.

i am a mother to alittle boy who will be around 26 months when my second is born and i thought that was the best cause i have a friend who has a 3yr old my friend is prego and her littel girl is excited but at the same time is very jealous and says mom and dad are all hers just not adapting well i think she has had longer to be the only one and says she is the "baby" i think a two yr old is still little and not really to the point of understanding so much what is goin on and will adapt easier i have another friend who's little boy is about to turn two and the mom just had a baby and things are soooo good after hearing the difference of an older child and younger it just made since so we decided to go ahead of course every child is different

a friend of mine had her girls 11 months and a day apart. I was their sitter and they were great together and one will turn 3 tomorrow and the other 4 in august. They are so close and get along pretty well. I also have some friends which kids are 16 months apart. Its funny the oldest is the girl and she is the one that adjusted, when the youngest which is a boy has the jealous streak. He rules the roost. They also are very close she takes up for him and is always trying to teach him something. I think it just depends. My girls are so spread out 20 yrs old 7 yrs old and 20 months. I still have to refree all sometimes. Its so funny how a 20 yr old can fight with a 7 yr old and so on. My youngest pretty much rules the house though so i think it just depends on how you help her adjust always include hIM and keep hIM
involved.

Mine are all 3 years apart.
Mine were born...
June 27th 2000
May 2nd 2003
June 9th 2006
By the time the new baby came the other was potty trained so I didnt have 2 in diapers. I think a 3 year old can play a little better on their own more then a 2 year old can and isnt so demanding for your time.

It worked out well for us they are now 7, 4, and 1 and the older two will both be in school this year (2nd grade and Pre-K) leaving me home with only the 1 year old. I am kind of looking forward to the break after the busy summer we have had :)

My husband and I went back and forth on this subject too. We started trying for #2 when our son was 2. It took me a year to concieve our daughter who was born in March. I find now that my son who got all the attention for the past 3.5 years is acting out - which I'm sure is normal but I think it would have been a little less dramatic for him if we would have had the second one sooner. He isn't doing anything terrible - when the baby makes noise he has to make more noise, he wakes her up when she is sleeping, he isn't listeneing when we discipline and telling us "no" alot. Now it could just be what 3 year olds do, I'm not sure. I think I would have prefered to do it sooner than later. I'm actually thinking about #3 now and our daughter is only 4 months old.

Good Luck.

I think that it is totally up to you what the age difference should be. Our two are 3 yrs apart. We wern't sure how long it would take us to get pregnant so when our son was 2 1/2 we started trying and got pregnant right away. Now their birthday's are only seperated by one day.
Jen