How Do You Wean Your Baby?

J.,

Both of mine weaned in their own time, one at 2 years old and the other at 3. I realize this isn't the norm here but it is what worked for us. That being said, congratulations to you for nursing your baby as long as you did and planning for at least one year. I don't have any tips personally to use on a child that young but found the following article to be something that may help you. I found it at www.askdrsears.com, I've pasted the whole article but the tips are closer to the bottom.

Best wishes,
M.
You can also read it at the website: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/t026400.asp

WEANING: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Weaning is not a negative term, nor is it something that you do to a child. Weaning is a journey from one relationship to another. The Hebrew word for wean is gamal, meaning "to ripen." In ancient times, when children were breastfed until two or three years of age, it was a joyous occasion when a child weaned. It meant the child was filled with the basic tools of the earlier stages of development and secure and ready to enter the next stage of development. A child who is weaned before his time may show anger, aggression, habitual tantrum-like behavior, anxious attachment to caregivers, and an inability to form deep and intimate relationships. We call these traits diseases of premature weaning.

While we advocate extended breastfeeding that comes to a natural end when the child is ready, we realize this ideal is not always attainable in every family situation. Breastfeeding is meant to be a pleasurable experience. When one or both members of the mother-infant pair aren't enjoying it anymore, it's time to wean. After all, all good things must come to a timely end.

WHEN TO WEAN
In many cultures a baby is breastfed for two or three years. Our western culture is accustomed to viewing breastfeeding in terms of months. This is not the norm the world over. While weaning is a personal decision, nutritionists and physicians advise breastfeeding for at least one year because by that time most infants have outgrown most of their food allergies and will thrive on alternative nourishment. We urge mothers to think in terms of years, not months, when contemplating how long to nurse. Breastfeeding is a long-term investment in your child. You want to give your baby the best emotional, physical, and mental start. Extended breastfeeding is nature's way of filling your baby's need for intimacy and appropriate dependency on other people. If these needs are met early on, your child will grow up to be a sensitive and independent adult. We have noticed that children not weaned before their time are:

more independent and self-confident
Gravitate to people rather than things
Are easier to discipline
Experience less anger
Radiate trust
Former Surgeon General, Dr. Antonia Novello, proclaimed: "It's the lucky baby, I feel, who continues to nurse until he's two." A baby's sucking need lessens sometime between nine months and three years. The age at which this need lessens is individual, yet very few babies are emotionally filled and ready to wean before a year. Have confidence in your intuition. While this beautiful breastfeeding relationship may seem like it will never end, you are laying a solid foundation for the person your child will later become. Cutting corners now will only create problems in the future.

HOW TO WEAN
The key to healthy weaning is doing it gradually. Remember, you are helping your child into a new stage of development, not forcing him into it. This is not the time for you and your husband to go on a week-long vacation to the Bahamas. Weaning by desertion is traumatic and may backfire. The following are suggestions for gradually weaning your child:

Start by skipping a least favorite feeding, such as in the middle of the day. Instead, engage in a fun activity together, such as reading a book or playing a game. Nap and night nursings are favorite feedings and will probably be the last to go.
Minimize situations that induce breastfeeding, such as sitting in a rocking chair or cradling baby. If you put baby in a familiar breastfeeding setting, he will want to breastfeed.
Use the "don't offer, don't refuse" method. Don't go out of your way to remind her to nurse. However, if your child persists, or her behavior deteriorates, this may indicate that breastfeeding is still a need rather than a want. Watch your child and trust your intuition.
Become a moving target. Don't sit down in one place for any length of time. But, remember, weaning means releasing, not rejecting. Breastfeeding helps the child venture from the known to the unknown. If you don't let your child make brief pit stops, he may insist on lengthy feedings when he finally gets you to sit down. Checking into homebase and refueling reassures him that it's okay to explore his environment, and gives him the emotional boost to venture out. Rejecting this need could developmentally cripple your child.
Keep baby busy. Nothing triggers the desire to breastfeed like boredom. Sing songs, read books, or go on an outing together.
Set limits. Putting limits on nursing, such as: "We only nurse when Mr. Sun goes down and when Mr. Sun comes up" does not make you a bad parent.
Don't wean baby from you to an object, such as a stuffed animal or blanket. Ideally, you want to wean baby from your breast to an alternative source of emotional nourishment. This is when dad should begin to take on a more involved role in comforting. As dad's role in baby's life becomes bigger, nursing will be less important.
Expect breastfeeding to increase during times of illness. These are times when your child needs comfort and an immune system boost.
Life is a series of weanings for a child: weaning from your womb, your breast, your bed, and your home. The pace at which children wean go from oneness to separateness is different for every child, and this should be respected. In our experience, the most secure, independent, and happy children are those who have not been weaned before their time.

5 moms found this helpful

we started to give her a sippy cup at around 8 months and then started giving her milk at about 12 months. she and i would cuddle like usual for naps in her rocking chair but she would use her cup instead of nursing. it was a gradual thing but it totally took. after that, we started with night weaning when she was about 13 months old. we were VERY READY to do some sort of gentle not-crazy sleep training and the night weaning fit into that really easily. we used this book: http://www.sleepyplanet.com/sleepeasyBookNew.html
and it saved us. seriously. i never thought it would work for our girl but it did! anyway, she was weaned and we were ALL sleeping by the time she was 14 months old. amazing.

3 moms found this helpful

I weaned both of my kids at about a year. It was really easy. Each time I would add a meal of solids, I would eliminate one nursing. When they were eating three meals a day, I was down to only 3-4 nursings between meals for snacks and at bedtime. Then around 10 months I added a snack of Cheerios, fruit, or whatever. At about 11 months I introduced milk so I never had to worry about formula. By 11 1/2 months I was only nursing at bedtime. At one year, I stopped nursing at bedtime and just rocked them to sleep. It was a piece of cake and I didn't have any pain and they didn't seem to realize that they weren't nursing. You may want to start eliminating a nursing if you are feeding your child meals of solids. Give your child juice or water to drink during the meal. Anyway, it worked really well for me.

2 moms found this helpful

My lactating nurse actually gave me this advice (i'm a first time mom as well). She said to mix the breast milk in with regular formula. She suggested doing it in stages though. Start with 3 parts breast milk to 1 part formula, then 2 parts breat milk to 2 parts formula, so on and so on. The Pediatrician also suggested this method once my son was 12 months and ready for regular milk. Mix the formula in with the milk using the same method as above. It worked perfect for my son. He is now 18 months and has no problems drinking a sippy cup filled with Milk.

1 mom found this helpful

2 or 3 days of a bottle at night
2 or 3 days of afternoon bottle AND bottle at night
2 or 3 days of late morning bottle AND afternoon AND night
then finally the early morning

the biggest pain for me is the huge breasts, but the gradual process makes it better for sure
be prepared to ice them

M.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J.,

I am a mother of four breastfed babies. Each of my children were nursed for different lengths of time. I nursed my younger two longer than my older kids. When I weened, I did it gradually. Think of which feeding you like the most and get rid of that one last. I held on to the morning feeding because I liked to sleep in during the mornings. I found it easiest to stop the day time feedings first. I just replaced the nursing session with solid foods and formula/milk. At one year old, you can start to feed the baby cows milk (unless there are allergies involved). I kept the night and early morning feedings til the end.

I never had any issues with engorgement because I did it over a six week time span or maybe even longer. I did have milk still even months later, once they were weened. I would not even bother with transitioning your son to a bottle at all...just start putting his milk/formula in a sippy cup now. It will save you the problem of trying to ween him from a bottle later.

It would be a good idea to talk with your pediatrician about nursing and weening. They will tell you how many ounces of formula he should be drinking in a 24 hour period. My pediatrician also recommended nursing past one year. I nursed my younger kids around 15-17 months. I truly enjoyed every minute of nursing. But if you decide to nurse longer than 15 months, at that point, it will be more difficult to ween your son. When the baby starts to get older, they will need to be the one who decides that they are done. Pay attention to your sons needs, he will tell you what he wants/needs.

Just a funny story to share about my youngest weening...I had decided that it was time for her to be finished nursing. She was around 16 months old and she was only nursing once a day. On Mother's Day, that year, I decided it was time for her to be done. So, we had our last nursing session. Well, with in a week, she was sick with a cold. (Remember nursing really does help them with their antibodies!) So, in the middle of the night, she woke up all congested...i felt bad that she was sick then i wanted to nurse her again, so I tried. Well, she just did a raspberry at my breast, it was like she was saying "I dont want that"! It was pretty funny and i guess i got the message loud and clear..she was all done nursing! In a way, it was a sad day for me, but it was what was best! Just a funny story. Enjoy the last months of nursing, it really is a special time...
T.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J.!

Although it was a long while ago, my pediatrician recommended that I substitute one feeding for a bottle for a week and then the next week a second feeding for a bottle and so on. She said it would take about a month on that method. <chuckle> My son had his first bottle and loved it so much, he quit nursing then and there! Ouch! But, we both survived and I loved the fact that my husband could finally handle some of the "feed the baby" responsibilties.

Good luck!

My son is 2 yrs old and still nurses, but what have done is talk to him about what he is feeling (are you sure you want mama's milk? What about water? Food? Cuddling? etc.) just to make sure he's listening to the signals well. This probably won't work for you, but I was adamant that he be able to wean on his own. Good luck!

Do it slowly and with love. If you do it cold turkey, you will end up with engorgment issues. With my son, I dropped one feeding at a time (of course replacing it with big people food)until I weaned him down to just nursing before bed. This took at least a month or more. Then the last feeding I shortened by minutes until we were only down to a few minutes. I then gave him a sippy cup with water, and it went over great.

Just another little note, though. My son started loosing interest himself, and I helped with the process. He was 14 months. Studies show that women who breastfeed for 2 years or more reduce their risk or breast cancer by 50%. I'm pretty sure I'm going to breastfeed my daughter, now 10 months, until she's ready to stop.

I did that with my daughter and it worked great! I cut out one feeding a month so we had 3-4 left at 9 months, 2-3 left at 10 months, 2 left at the beginning of 11 months and figured out only 1 feeding at the last month. She left her early morning feeding until one morning she slept in and didn't need it. This worked the best for me!

Hi J.,

Remember, the longer you breast feed the better the brain development (at least for a couple of years). Look at your reasons for the agenda of weaning at one year and then think about what is natural for your baby. The two may not be the same. In my experience, letting the baby wean when he/she is ready helps them not only feel secure, but also somewhat in charge of their own life. That is a self-esteem builder. Also, it really strengthens your bond with your baby.

V.

I was SO THERE! it started to get really difficult around 8 months then I spoke to a woman who was still nursing her 15 month old and I thought "no way will I do that" she looked more haggered than me getting so little sleep and puting out all the nutrients. well....I ended up nursing until my baby was 2yrs and 7mos old. I ate my words on judging that other girl.
the first thing I would do is to cut out the night feeding to save yourself allot of suffering. then they say to work it down to one feeding per day, cutting each feeding one by one every one or two weeks.
well, you know how it is, when the baby really really really wants it, that is the feeing he gets, it's spuratic, so I began offering him other options for a drink each time as a distraction and and exciting new choice, then nursed him at the most necesarry times only. when it came down to the last days, I had caught a virus and was not getting better, I needed to stop nursing him and that's what I did, I just stopped one day. It had obviously become a habbit of comfort for him, security and safty more than food. with in 3 days, he was accepting it. I told him that the Doctor said no more and he got it. yey
good luck,
weening within one year is not in the babies ajenda but would be healthier for you.
oh by the way, I would start exercising regularily as soon as you ween to regulate your system, I did not and the transition slowly creped in to my fat cells.
Best
L.

Hi J.
My son wanted it less as he ate more food (meals) and I would give him a bottle in place of nursing if he didn't ask for the breast. If he wanted to nurse, I would. I stopped at 11 mos (I wanted to get pregnant again and needed a break), he is now 2yrs. My daughter is now 7 mos and no where near ready to ween, she will probably be ready closer to 9 or 10 months like my son was. When he is ready, it will take only 2-3 months to completely ween him. Even if you go a little longer so what? My son started getting growing pains at 20 mos and I was nursing my daughter, so I gave him some breast milk in a bottle and within 2 days all his pains were gone, it's amazing!

what i did with my daughter was get a training cup (i started offering her a cup at 6 months) one with a soft spout (nuby brand). i got her to drink out of it after a month of her playing with it and chewing it. i had my daughter on a bottle so its a little different situation then yours. but it took me 3 days after she started drinking from a cup that she was off the bottle. so the best advice i can give is to just start to offering a cup (maybe with your pumped breast milk or his favorite juice). good luck!

I weaned my second baby by skipping one feeding a day and exchanging it with formula or formula mixed with breast milk)for 1-2 weeks. Then I added one more bottle feeding every other week until they were all bottles/sippies. Make sure the skipped breast feedings aren't back to back in the beginning. You shouldn't be uncomfortable since the weaning is gradual, your body will start shrinking your supply and your little one should get the hang of it fairly quickly. Feeding more solids will also help with the weaning as he depends more on table food more than milk for his hunger. My first daughter pretty much weaned herself at 9 months and was fully formula fed at 10 months.

Even if you are still producing you can pump and give your son a bottle - this worked well for me since the taste was familiar. Gradually the supply went down and you can pump when you need to. But I found that with my son it didn't matter how he got it if he was hungry he would eat from a bottle, from a breast or from a spoon.

For me, I just started by removing one feeding at a time, the first to go was the morning and the last to go was the night. I tried replacing the feeding time with play time and that worked well, or I would take my daughter for a walk, when she was busy it helped to not remind her about "her time" Good luck to you:)

I weaned my baby over several months. Every two weeks or so I would eliminate a feeding and replace it with a sippy cup or a meal. It is an easy transition for the baby and almost completely eliminates the sore breasts you would normally experience if you did it cold turkey.

i just weaned my 28 month old..yep went for over 2 years..at 15 months he naturally just weaned himself..but then i still had a lot of milk a month later and he had a cold and i just started bfing again...wound up going until about 10 days ago..i had to go on antibiotics and he couldn't bf b/c it was the kind that's bad for children's teeth.
i had to go cold turkey....
There's a window when they're ready to quit sometimes and you can just quit then...i'm glad i went as long as i did b/c there were times when my son got the flu and i was able to nurse him back to bed in like 20 minutes and other moms i know from a board i was on w/ the same age babies were up all night unable to get their babes back to sleep.
It wasn't that hard to go cold turkey..he was a bit upset but after a few days he's been fine...you can substitute w/ a bottle..i let my son have a bottle during that time w/ a little bit of almond chocolate milk mixed in...and now no bottle no booby.

Just gradually reduce the number of times you nurse him throughout the day. You could pump a little and start to mix regular milk with your milk so that his system gets used to it. This way he gets used to a bottle or a cup and his system doesn't have any problems with regular milk. As you reduce the number of times you're nursing , your milk should gradually dry up as well.

I gave my son a sippy cup and had him just use a cup during the day and breastfed only at night. He got used to his cup and it wasn't such a hard transition. Once you stop breastfeeding line your bra with green cabbage leaves to dry up milk. Sounds weird but trust me it works! Good luck and enjoy my baby is now 8!!

When I stopped breastfeeding I took it away slowly. I took away nne feeding a week. I saved my favorite time for last. I think by the time my daughter was one I was only feeding her before nap and bedtime. I have three girls and did this will all of them. My first was 10 mo. when I stopped my second was 1 year and third was 9 mo. I had no problems.

Good luck!

Why wean at a year?
Allowing them to self wean (dropping one feeding at a time as time progresses ) is much easier and healthier for them. They'll show you which feedings they can do without.
If you need to force wean, just look at your schedule and decide which feedings would be the easiest to skip. Drop one feeding per every week or two. First one of the day and last will take the longest.

There are a lot of good books and articles on the internet on this subject, but for me with both of my children, what worked best was to decrease the time they nursed by a minute every day until they aren't nursing any longer. Sometimes they lose interest on their own and there are some 3 year olds that would be content to nurse everyday, so you will probably have to take control if you really want your son weaned in 4 months.