14 answers

How Do You Transform Your Children from Wild to Not Wild?

My kids are 8, 5 and 2 and was just informed from other family members that they are wild. How did this happen? They don't listen. I am at my wits end here. Any suggestions?
Time out doesn't work.

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Many thanks to everyone who responded. I often think that everything the kids do is within reason of being kids, but the lack of listening gets frustrating at times. Naturally no one wants to hear that their children are wild. I do agree that a bit of fresh air never hurts either.
It's nice to know that there are other parents and grandparents who understand the challenges of being a parent.
So again, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!! I truly appreciate it!!!!

Featured Answers

When time outs don't work especially w/ the older ones you need to take away a special toy for us if my oldest gets a timeout he loses his computer game time that day so I usually don't have to get past 1 when I count. I recomend the book 1-2-3 magic. But I have a question for you are they really being wild or are they just being kids? When my boys get to loud and crazy for indoors we go outside to run around they can be as crazy as they want outside and make as much noise as they want it doesn't bother me.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

There are plenty of wild kids who won't listen, but then there are plenty of kids who are acting the way children act at a given age and adults often expect behavior that children are not capable of. I'm only throwing that out there since you said you were "informed" by your family that your kids are wild.

For ex, expecting my 2 yo to sit still for a lengthy meal out is unreasonable. Is she wild? No, she needs me to occupy her for that time, yk? When she's older it will be totally reasonable for me to expect her to sit still for a meal out.

I'd second the Dr. Sears book recommendation. I'd also suggest getting your hands on a book that talks about child development, so you will know whether what you are expecting is reasonable for their ages.

Good luck. And follow your own instincts on your kids, don't just listen to family members. It's really easy to criticize the parenting of others and tell them they are doing it wrong.

1 mom found this helpful

Teach them to listen, follow through, take control of your house and children.
What you do now will establish the basis of your parenting for the duration.
Have a very structured day with a schedule. Children function best with a schedule and they know what to expect when.
Make sure they have a period of time outside in the fresh air to run off their energies.
If we had one ( of our seven ) who seemed too lively for the house we would have them go outside and run around the house a given number of times. If there were more than one then it was a lot more fun for them.
Best to do your family a favor and have a strict schedule to follow.
Trust me in this...easiest and best way to manage energetic children.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with others that you should make sure that you really do think this is an issue. But if your kids really don't listen when you tell them to do (or not do) things, if you feel like you are always repeating yourself or saying "no," or if you just don't bother saying "no" half the time because you know it won't work, then you probably do want to take some action. Time outs might not work for the 8-year-old, but they probably will for the younger ones if you are consistent about them. I've found that in order for time outs to be effective, first of all they must be short (a couple of minutes for the 2-year-old and 4 or 5 minutes for the 5-year-old; we use a digital timer so that the length of the time out is not in our hands and can't be negotiated during the time out). Next (and this one is particularly hard for me), I must give a time out at the FIRST transgression. No second chances, or my kids quickly learn that they don't need to do what I say immediately. So if I say not to turn the faucet on and my son turns the faucet on, I don't say, "Do that again and you get a time out." I immediately put him in time out, even though he's saying, "I'll stop doing that now. I'm listening now." It's no fun to put my kid in time out, so I'm always tempted to believe his promises of good behaviour and give him a second chance. But even if he does listen that time, it only encourages him not to listen the next time, and ultimately my life gets more frustrating.

For the 8-year-old, you might need to find a different consequence. Just make sure it is something that will really be a punishment. You could take away a toy or privilege except that once you've taken it away, you have nothing left to take away if he has a second transgression. My kids are both younger than that, so I'm afraid I don't have any ingenious suggestions.

1 mom found this helpful

You must read How To Listen So Kids Will Talk and Talk So Kids Will Listen. And I agree that your kids may just be spirited--and that is good. It will likely serve them well later in life. But if you want to move toward a more harmonious relationship, do try that book. It is wonderful.

1 mom found this helpful

Please try the book 123 Magic. It really, really works!! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

When time outs don't work especially w/ the older ones you need to take away a special toy for us if my oldest gets a timeout he loses his computer game time that day so I usually don't have to get past 1 when I count. I recomend the book 1-2-3 magic. But I have a question for you are they really being wild or are they just being kids? When my boys get to loud and crazy for indoors we go outside to run around they can be as crazy as they want outside and make as much noise as they want it doesn't bother me.

1 mom found this helpful

Dear C.,

we found these books helpful: "The Discipline Book" (Sears & Sears) and "The secret of happy children" by Steve Biddulph. For sibling harmony i just read with great joy: "Siblings without rivalry" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, and i have ordered their "How to talk so kids will listen, how to listen so kids will talk".

Wild sounds nice, though. Full of energy, curious, explorative. Add trusting in their parents, connected to their caregivers and each other, kind, joyful, gentle and you'll have the perfect children. But then again: you already do.

Wild greetings and good luck.
D.

1 mom found this helpful

If you are looking for parenting/discipline tips, I found 1-2-3 Magic to be very easy to read quickly, understand and implement. You can probably find it in your local library.
I am currently reading Negotiation Generation. So far I like it, but it is not a quick-read like 1-2-3 Magic. The focus is on being proactive to set kids up for success.
The key to both is consistency, no emotion, no talking.
Good luck!
J.

1 mom found this helpful

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