How Do You Moms Make Friends???

I wanted to second what Beth said -- I have a hard time too. You're not alone!

Have you checked meetup.com for your area to see if there are any groups that interest you? What about taking a class either through a community college continuing ed, or through the local rec center in the evenings or on Saturdays? Have you considered joining your local YMCA and taking Yoga or something similar? A lot of the Y's have daycare, you can usually check online to see if yours does and what the hours are. Also, I met a lot of nice parents doing sports with my 5 year old through the YMCA.

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

I used to be very shy and didn't go up and speak to people. After beign a military wife for 16 years I have had to force myself every couple years to make new friends.
Friends can be found on the block, in church, in the bookstore, kid's mommas,
I try to start with a common ground statement. When the moms are all at orientation I say someting about the class the kids are taking, "I heard this class would be hard." Have you had this teaher before?" I have two in HS and two that i homeschool.
I offer to take children who are not mine to soccer practice for moms who can't make it a cetain day. Or cub scouts, girl scouts, etc.
Ask other moms for advice in person. If you go to a cub scout function or birthday party where everyone brings food get a recipe from another mom and her phone number.
I will watch my neighbors with little ones gather at one of the houses outside and go out and say hi.
Start with one of the moms. Compliment her in her new hair cut or something she is wearing. Have a Pampered Chef party or basket or Tupperware or Avon, whatever Something that you have to invite people over to the house.

2 moms found this helpful

It is tough. How large is Story City? Not sure I know where it is - is it east or west side of Iowa. So many cities in Iowa are extremely small, like where my husband is from everyone already knows everyone and it seems like they are all cousins or somehow related to a few families. Church seems to be a huge focal point - does your church have VBS this summer? PTA is another idea. Moms groups - might be few and far between if you are in a very small town, but that does not mean you could not start one. Bunco, spades, hearts etc groups are good.

2 moms found this helpful

Check to see if there is a chapter of MOMS Club in your town. MOMSClub.org.

2 moms found this helpful

I COMPLETELY understand! I had plenty of friends in high school and college, and I am still very emotionally close to them, but geographically, we range from a 3-hour drive to a 15-hour plane flight apart! When we moved about 4 years ago, I was startled by how hard it was to meet people. Our neighbors are the age of my parents, we had no kids (and when we did, they were too young to help us meet anyone), and I was writing my thesis from a distance (and so I didn't even look for work). I didn't have a clue how to make friends. I began to get depressed, especially since my husband works long hours.

I began to feel differently when I got involved in volunteer work. Yes, I had to give up a couple Saturdays a month (since I had no one to watch the kids unless my husband was home), but I had a way to get out of the house and have adult conversation, even though most of my volunteer coworkers were also outside my age group. Eventually, I found a couple people I really clicked with, and invited them out for non-volunteer-related events. I now have several close friends, although, 4 years in, I can still count my friends in my new location on one hand. But even just having one person to call when you're bored or lonely makes a huge difference.

Do you have something you're passionate about? If so, get online, do some research, make some calls, and get involved. If not, consider getting involved with your church or kids' school. Put yourself out there in a situation where you'll have to talk to people, and even if you don't find any close friends, at least you'll have people to talk to. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I have found mops and mom club very beneficial! I also did a sign up sheet with pre school with email addresses and we meet at a park one day a week in the summer which turned out to be really fun. We brown bagged lunches and played!!!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm in a similar situation and what helped me was getting my son involved in activities. I made a friend at his wrestling practices since we were all sitting there together for two hours three times a week and got a lot of chances to get to know each other. Scouts helped too, my son's best friend now he met in scouts and they recently moved into our neighborhood so we've become a lot closer to them. Get to know your neighbors, put together a neighborhood BBQ this summer or something. Maybe organize a neighborhood block party for the 4th of July or something. Check out Parks and Rec in your town/county too. They usually sponsor classes you can take with your child where you can meet other moms with similarly aged children and similar interests.

You just have to get out there and see what there is to do in your community. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband used to be in the military and we always found it easy to make new freinds at each new duty station. Military life is like a big dysfunctional family and you just sort of fall into friendships easily. We always did anyway. Once he got out of the military I was clueless. I mean, I should know how to make friends, I always had them before! But moving to a new city without that support system just built in, I had no friends. I gradually made some work friends, but that didn't really carry over into my off-time. Same with my husband. I really missed things like barbecues every weekend and going out and playing pool, but didn't know how to get that back.

After I had my son and started staying home, even those work friends disappeared. My husband works out of town and it was just me, alone with a baby all the time. My only social life was my mom, with my baby dragged along! I love my mom but needed friends. I joined a Moms Club and it has been great. You should see if you have any sort of moms group or meetup group where you live. I started just going to playdates and stuff, but eventually started doing the moms nights out and buncos and now suddenly I have friends again. Ones that I have things in common with. I just wasn't very good at going up to moms at the library and asking for a playdate or mom-date. So an organized thing with an open invite to whoever wants to show up works so well. Recently one of our moms night outs was a very small group and I really got a chance to know the moms who came, and now we get together quite a bit. It is really nice to have friends again. I still have to consciously make an effort to extend the first invitations though. I'm with you, I just dont remember making friends being so much work!

1 mom found this helpful

Join a moms group. The best mom group that I ever belonged to is thru meetup. I would go to "meetup" and type in your zip code and see if there is a moms group in your area. Or you could start one thru meetup. See if your church or synague has a moms group of some sort. Join a local book club. Go to a local gym.
Its not as easy when we were are older to make friends. You can do it.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't have any advice, but I did want to let you know that you are definitely not alone. I have lived in the Chicago area for almost 9 years, and have only a few close friends. During all of college, I made many shallow-level friends, but only 1 deep friend. I did not live on campus and I became very good friends with a lady from a few of my classes, as we ended up on the same train together. That's pretty much it for me. I am pretty ok with small talk, but have a tough time making the transition from small talk to "let's get together" and actually planning something.

I have a group of about 7 friends from my high school that I am still very close with, as we all grew up together and know each other to the core. How I wish I could find another friend like that here! My hubby is a great friend to me, and thank GOD he asked me a bazillion probing questions when we were dating, or we'd probably never have gotten to know each other.

I think when it comes to making friends, we have to step outside of our comfort zone and just take the chance and ask someone to do something. For me, I know it's fear of rejection that holds me back. If not rejection of me, then of my kids--maybe Mommy A won't want to hang out with us again if my kid's too energetic for her tastes.

My church just recently started a mom's group that I am planning on joining, and I am looking into joining a community chorus, as I desperately need some friends over the age of 3 :) Good luck to you!!

**Haha, after reading all these replies I'm tempted to start a Mom's Meetup group called "Friendless Mamas" and see how many takers I get ;) **

1 mom found this helpful

I think it actually gets harder as we get older, we are less open and we do not have the school environment to push us together. I have moved a lot (military), at my last base I was living with a great group of military mommas I connected with, but this new place is different, and I too have been lonely. I have been thinking about finding some classes about things that interest me so that I can meet like minded people through them. Also, play group can help you meet other moms who may feel the same way you do. The most important thing is to not be afraid to talk and open up to someone so they can see what a great friend you would be.

1 mom found this helpful

I moved to Miami from Chicago via NYC. It took me a very long time to make friends - and even now, my closest friends are those parents of my children's closest friends. My kids play ball and I got involved at the ball park. Some of my best friends came from there. I have made a lot of friends through church by getting involved as well. The key is to get involved. And as your child begins school and activities it will be much easier.

I'm 31 and it's still hard for me to make friends easily. Sign up to be a room mom for Kindergarten. Go on field trips and to all the class parties. Hold play dates at your house or the park. Make yourself known to the other Moms.

In the end, one or two close friends are better than a million acquaintances, so don't judge your friendship by numbers.

I will tell you this. My youngest son was born shortly after we moved here. We had NO FRIENDS or family in Miami. He was born premature and was in the NICU. My husband I would literally take turns walking the halls of the hospital with the other two kids while the other was in the NICU with the baby. I know how hard it can be, and how lonely it can feel.

The older they get, the easier it becomes, I promise you that. You will be around so many people, you will easily decide who to ask on a lunch date or out to the movies, or even to the zoo with the kids.

Keep your chin up. I've been there.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't either , I have a hard time making friends as well. I don't do things more other moms do so being friends with my daughters' friends moms hasn't gone well.