How Do You Keep Your House Clean?

I am right there with you!!! If feels like a relentless task and I find that I seem to miss out with my daughter because of it. I've more recently started to get her involved with the cleaning. She loves it! She really likes to help and it makes her feel like a big girl. Grant it, in the begining it was WAY more work for me, but it's starting to pay off. She enjoys the time with me and she also helps out. As I was the dishes she will dry them and put them away (I had to re-arrage the kitchen a little for her to do this). She also is a big help with the laundry. We have front loaders and if I seperate the loads she will put them in, pull them out and switch them. And if it's something simple, like towels, she will fold them all by herself. I always give her LOTS of praise and thank her for the work she has done. Like I said, although at first it was more work for me, it has paid off and she enjoys the quality clean time with me.

V., I can completely relate! I have found that by getting the bulk of my "daily chores" out of the way in the morning before I leave for work. I have started getting up 15mins early, and that usually gives me time to get the laundry folded, and the dishes put away. I know that getting up early sucks, I get up everyday at 4:30, and I dont have to be to work until 8! but it works for me.
Good luck
C.

FLYlady! FLYlady is the greatest. Go take a look at www.flylady.net (do not go to .com it's a fake). Flylady is always free. It is amazing what you can do with a little bit of time when you have a coach and a cheerleader! Good luck! Flybaby J. in Tigard

You know what. There is no law book that says you have to keep your house clean. I have a 4 year old and an 8 year old. I work full time, and both kids play sports. I have an incredibly busy schedule. I straighten h ere and there, but dont worry about house cleaning during the week, because there is just no point. Especially with kids as young as yours. As long as they are fed, well cared for and have clean clothes, then I really wouldnt worry about it. Take the time for your kids and family instead. Worry about it on the weekends.

Worry less about the cleanliness of your home. I was so h*** o* myself when my kids were your age. Felt like I had to keep everything clean, picked up and really spent less time with my kids because of it. Don't worry. In no time your kids will be in school all day, and soon enough they will be grown up and out on their own. Your house can be totally in order then. Now is not the time to have a totally clean house. Do what you can and allow yourself to let things go sometimes. You'll have plenty of years with a clean house someday. Enjoy and love up those kids and be kind to yourself. Okay?

Hi V.,

My mother told me (before she died unexpectedly) that her biggest regret as a mother was that she spent so much time cleaning, instead of appreciating our childhoods. The time really passes so quickly and I have decided to heed my mother's advice. I clean when it works out (the kids are amused with something) or my husband can play with them. I also have my 2 year old "help" me by folding wash clothes from the laundry, help unload the dishwasher, etc., but I have lowered my standards and am appreciating and raising my kids. Life is very short... I want to be remembered as a really great mom, not a good house cleaner!

V., FORGET IT!!! I have three children and a wonderful husband that helps with the house all the time. However, before we moved to Wa, he was always gone...military. So I always had a messy house. I tried and tried and almost killed myself trying to keep things clean, but before, I worked from 530am untill 6pm mon-fri. My mother sat me down and informed me that I was missing my children's lives. I was so worried about the home that I didn't spend time with them. She said, don't worry the house will still be there, but someday they won't. She was right. My house is still here but my kids are gone to friend's houses! I did have them help out where they could, picking up clothes and toys, and now that they are much older they each have their chores. My four year does not although he shocked me last night, we came home from dinner and our dinner friends were coming over...he decided he had to "clean up" for my female friend that he just loves! so he picked up all his toys and put the pillows on the couch, "nice and neat." I laughed so much at him! Times will pass very quickly so stop and enjoy those babies while you can! Trust me, the only one's that will worry about your home are the ones that don't have children!!!

Enlist your husband and your KIDS! I have a 4 year old and whenever I try to do anything without my husband around, he is always underfoot unless I give him something to do. His dad taught him to fold clothes starting when he was about 2 or 2 1/2...things like washcloths...as he got older, his own clothes, and putting things away. A 4 year old can fold most any towels, even the very large ones by placing them on the floor (clean or reasonably clean floor) and folding them there...or any surface they can work with and reach. A 4 year old can also hang clothes on hangers, fold tshirts, pants, underwear, if necesary. Pretty much anything that comes out and does not need special attention like socks. A 4 year old can also match socks. Your 2 year old mey be able to fold washcloths, help put clothes away, or (probably the best option) give the 2 year old a rag and spray water on the counter or other safe surface near where you are working...she will be so thrilled to "help". That is how I started my son out helping when he was about that age. He felt like he was contributing and left me to my cleaning as long as he was near me. your 2 year old can put things away for you in a general sense "take this to the kitchen/laundry room/bedroom, etc. and you will find it probably in the middle of the floor, but they can do it. She can also take things to the trash for you. If you use trash, recycling, and compost, make sure to use the appropriate names and not interchange them. I did that without thinking at first and my son was really confused until I explained the difference, showed him what went in what, and I started using the correct words (oops, my bad LOL). Most important, if your husband lives with you, get him to help also...even if it is just makign sure the trash cans get to the road on the appropriate night and emptying the dishwasher, it will help you and make it one or two less things to think about. In my house, my husband does most of the scrubbing/dishwashing. I help when I can, but I mostly empty the trash cans and get them out on time...help with laundry, etc. We share everything.

Bless your heart, Mama! I think we have all been there! I second the motion to try www.FLYlady.net She is amazing! A couple of other things... maybe give your kiddos 5-10 min. of your time. Set a timer, and tell them, "Okay, we can have a little cuddle time for 5 minutes, then I have to get dinner going." Maybe they will want to read a short book or tell you about their day. 5 min. can be precious at that time of day, but so are they. My "baby" is nearly 13 years old and as big as me. She does still come up and want a hug, but the "rocking her on my lap" days are gone. You will never, ever regret spending time with your precious children. Believe me, they will not follow you around begging for your attention forever. All too soon YOU will be the one following THEM around.
I also have stepchildren who, frankly, I didn't think we would ever get custody of. Well, we do now. We have all of our dear ones. So now, when I see my stepson's shoes in the middle of the floor and his dishes on the coffee table, I remind myself that his stuff is strewn about because he is HERE. One day very soon, our house will be tidy... and lonely. My babies will all be grown. Your little ones too, Mama. Love them up while you can! :) God bless you and your dear ones!

V.,

I have an almost 5 year old, and a 17 month old, and they both help me when I clean. If we're picking up the wooden ABC blocks that stay in the living room I'll hold open the bag they came with, and both kids will put the blocks in. The toys that stay in rooms that have migrated get put back, and again they do it (for the most part). I can tell my 17 month old to go put her toys away and they might make it into her room.

Both my kids *want* to help, it's just a matter of finding things for them to help with. If you enlist their help you'll (theoretically) get things done faster, and have more time with your kids. Not to mention the bonding and the sense of self they'll get by being "big kids" and helping Mommy with chores.

My son's been held responsible for cleaning his room for about a year now. There are small things that your boys can start taking responsibility for: putting dirty clothes in laundry, cleaning room, etc.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

I have the same problem. But I gave up. Forget about worrying if your house is clean. In the bigger picture it doesn't matter. Do the basics and keep picked up but other than that, stop stressing. A clean house is nothing compared to happy babies.

My kids help me while I clean. my daughter turned 3 in May picks up all of her toys, makes sure chairs are tucked under the table, dusts the t.v, helps put dishes away organizes the shoes at night... my son who is 16 months old dusts, picks up his toys, puts clothes in hamper...I always like to involve them as much as possible, helps me and teaches them. I usually give them a task in a separate area so I am free of little feet under me but on the occasion I let them help me with the task I currently try and work on. But I do have to say I stay at home and my house is far from perfect and it usually doesn't get cleaned for the day until the end of the day since I like to focus on the kids during the main part of the day.

V.
I can completely relate. I enlist the help of my husband. I play with the kids right when I come through the door and he makes dinner. After bedtime we both clean up. This way I can give my kids my undivided attention right when I get home and don't have to worry about dinner. Then the cleaning goes so much faster after bedtime with both of us doing the work. All in all though, try not to stress about it, I know it is hard to have a messy house but it won't hurt anything.
Hope this helps

i feel for you V.! the only good advice i can lend is to take that half hour after they go to bed. i know it cuts into either your relaxation time or perhaps your sleep, but it;s the best time. that way you can maximize the time you do have to spend with your babies and also probably get the job done more quickly without them hanging onto your ankles. as for vacuuming, which is not conducive to their sleep, since you've cleaned the night before, run the vacuum quickly in the morning before you head out. that's what i do. i hope these suggestions help. it's never an easy job, but the time with your kids is so much more important that the cleanliness of the house. this is a great time to teach them about helping you clean too. they can help by picking up their toys and learning to put them where they belong, ot at least into their room. :o) good luck!

D. :o)

Make the kids help you. They can help by bringing things, taking their laundry upstairs, helping with the laundry. Some of the cannister vacuums actually you can shorten the hose so they can vacuum. Make it fun and/or a game. My kids love to help. Now's the time to teach them to help because when they're older, they won't want to any more.

Have them carry the dishes to you when doing the dishes. they can help with a lot more than you realize. If you work together it's not so bad. They can sweep. They can put away. If you do it with them they are happier than when they are given a task to do by themselves.

Teach them to be tidy now. 2 is not too early. Neither is 4. They can help make their beds. Sometimes I say to my kids in the mornings, "Now let's all make our beds and see who can finish first".

Hi V.,

Thank YOU for posting. I too have a 2 & 4 year old. Messy boys. We're in such the same boat!!!

I have a fantasy (yes, I know, it is a Fantasy) of being a stay-at-home mom with a cleaning schedule, tidy & clean home, weekly meals planned, & just everything ship shape in our fun & loving home.

Yet, working 4 days a week w/o ever 2 days off in a row drives me crazy as I feel like I can't get in a rhythm. My husband has no schedule as he is self employed - so I know he feels a bit chaotic too.

But, I realize two things from reading the other wise posts.

1. I need to enlist the boys help - they both would like to help, to teach them, involve them and keep my sanity.
(my husband & I share almost all duties, so he's ok)

2. know at the same time that they are only young once and they won't always be home - so to cherish these times - I will miss them/ we will miss them.

Also, I have a personal mission to declutter - it will be more healthy to have less stuff being piled up and getting dusty. Clutter is stressful to look at & live in. We're setting a bad example to the boys by having a cluttered unorganized house. So, room by room sending things to craigslist & good will....how liberating!!!

Best of Luck to You too!!!

Hi V.,

I struggle with this, and so do many moms I know. :) Best advice is to do it a little at a time, and slowly clear out the clutter. If you only knew how funny that is coming from me, who was once the clutter queen. LOL My husband is hysterically laughing at me as I type this, and yet so grateful that I am not that way anymore!

Anyhow, if you can afford it, it is helpful to get someone in to assist you and get organized. If not, take the house in sections and it is less overwhelming. :)

Above all, remember that you are a great mom no matter the shape of you house; messy or clean. :) I agree it can be a frustration. :)

Oh, and we came up with a family schedule and house rules that we all made on poster board and created together! We do not always go by the rules daily, but the structure helps us keep things in line. We all had a blast making them too!

Blessings,

K.S.

V. - I don't keep my house clean! HAHA!! I read your question and had to laugh because I have found myself asking my husband that a lot. As a matter of fact, I just woke up today and saw that my house is quite a mess right now. It is sooooo frusturating that I will make my house immaculate and by the end of the week it's a pigsty. But you know what? I have just decided that I don't care. I am too tired during the week to be on my kids to clean and myself to clean, and make dinner, and bathe the kids, and read stories, and maybe throw in a load of laundry. THere is more to life than a clean house. ON the weekends, my husband works on Saturday's, so I make that my cleaning day. Laundry, house clean up, vaccuum, bathrooms. That's when I have the time, and energy. The rest of the week I just make sure I get the dishes done! Don't be to h*** o* yourself. I too, don't get home until around 5:30 or 6pm, and it's hard!! I leave my house at 7:30am, and I don't know when my kids have the time to trash up my house, but they do!
I have decided though, that if my 5 year old ever wants to do anything (play V-Smile, go to the neighbor boys house) that he may not go until his dirty clothes are picked up and his toys are put away, that actually has helped quite a bit.
Good Luck mama!! I know EXACTLY how you feel! L.

V., who has time to clean, really? I just keep the Clorox disinfecting wipes ( or any kind of wet wipes, baby wipes...) in each room and every day I try to wipe one corner or one counter or little bit in each room. That way I don't have a ton of cleaning to do each Saturday, it just seems quicker and easier this way.

Ok, don't faint when I suggest this - have the children help you--- I promise they can do more than you imagine. Set up a little reward chart - and how they '''buy'' the rewards is by ''sweeping'' ( with a broom with the handle cut off or a kid-sized one) - and ''wiping'' ( 2 year olds love to wipe off appliances with wipes -- or a damp sponge-) Children can sort clean clothes out of the dryer- they can put silverware into the drawer-separators - they can put toys ( do your floors ever have toys on them??? oh, mine, too)-- into bins, baskets, etc. --I do know that one of the things you must covet is some down time- but I PROMISE - if you engage your little guys now into being PART of the team that makes your house nice- oh, you will be glad as years go by - when you can say '' we will go to the park when we all have our helping done - '''''Kids love helping - what they covet is knowing they are needed - truly - needed to help with the task of having a good life - I promise ( didn't promise there will be no lumps on this path- but promise it does work)

Blessings,
J.

I don't know if you have a husband/ partner, but let me give you two bits of advice.

First of all, remember, a clean house is nice, but loving your children and giving them time and attention is even nicer! I struggled mightily with your concern and always wished my house were cleaner. But I did have two very creative, active kids, and they are still the light of my life. Cut yourself some slack.

If you do a husband and partner, he can be very helpful here. Just a half-hour a day giving all his attention to the kids will help them immensely, and it will help you immensely. Also, dividing up the chores so he has half of them will help you both out. Your kids will be healthier too,as they see him sharing the responsibility. They will grow up knowing it is a shared responsibility to manage the family and house! one, this is what I did, and it worked OK: tell him you need to divide up the work, and just do it. This worked on and off to some degree. Eventually, when we had a little extra money, I told my husband that I just didn't have time to do it all, and either he could pitch in or I would hire a house-cleaner every two weeks.

We still have the house-cleaner to this day!

I have read all the responds you have recieved and they all have great advise.
I grew up in a very messy home, but it was clean. Once a week my mom would clean the underneth dirt, Floors, kitchen counter tops, tolets, most with bleach or lysol in the brown bottle(don't know if they even sell it anymore) we didn't have all the cleaners then, that they sell now. Our house was clean, because these were the area of dirt, grim, and greams. The clutter will always be there as long as you have a happy life life. This my mom said plus, company comes to visit us not To care if our house is a mess, because we live in it, They want to visit a showcase, let them go elsewhere.
For 54 years I have lived by that and it has worked wonderfully. I have from the time my childern were old enough to carry their own toys out to play with, when done with the first 2 or 3 they had to take and put them back where they belonged before going on to something else, of couse at first they needed help, but what a good way to teach you child to pick up and make fun with them as your doing it. As for the other STUFF, Childern have fun with fresh clean laundry, trying to learn to fold it and put it away, it also teaches hand cordanation. As for papers, always if you know you don't need it toss it right then, if you think maybe, toss it too, keep, have a place to pile it, at the end of the week go through it, same with everything else.
Quit worry about a clutered house, It is not going anywhere, it will wait for you, But life and your childern growing up won't.

I think there is lots of good advice in the responses that I scanned. I get feel disturbed, depressed, and upset by a dirty/messy house, it just doesn't feel like a good, loved place to me. I work full time, and my husband works part time and is a full time student (and a natural slob! Love him anyway, he tries). The thing that I found saved my sanity was to have a friend's 13 year old daughter come over every other weekend for 3 hours as a "mother's helper". She is just $5 an hour. She plays with my son, while I dash around and tackle things, get organized, whatever. I don't feel like I'm missing too much time with my son, but I feel like I'm able to keep up. My husband also uses the time to clean, so sometimes I can have a couple of hours to do a specific project, while he does floors, bathrooms, laundry, etc. Our son doesn't feel abandoned because he sees us, but is having fun playing.
Good luck, I know it's hard.

You don't say if you are married or not, but if you can afford it, get a housekeeper. That is what I did and it saved my mind.

Otherwise, prioritize the tasks that make you feel your house is clean. Do those first--even if you only do one on Monday and one on Tuesday. Get the kids involved in doing the chores with you, that way they will be with you but. "helping".

You have already received some of the tips I was going to offer, but I also wanted to add a few things I do to make things work. First, no guilt. There is a huge difference between clean and cluttered. And with children, clutter will occur. :)

Everyday when work is done, I turn on some fun music and we make it a game to clean the house. My daughter has been "helping" since she was one, so it's never too early to get them involved. Have them hand you the dishes out of the dishwasher. My daughter loves handing me the silverware! Older children can actually put the stuff away and younger ones, I have them hand their items to me.

Have them help vacuum. They may not do the best job, but it's an exciting job and in order to do it, they must pick everything up off the floor first! (hint, hint) So it's race to put the books away on the bookshelf, put the toys away in the bedroom, pick up and fold the blankets. (All of this is done with Peek-A-Boo games, joking, laughing and being silly.) So they get fun quality time with mom and I get a clean house. They are also learning early on how to help, pick up after themselves, take care of their surroundings and they feel like they are contributing. Great self-esteem builders.

I use Biokleen detergents throughout the house, so I know my children can be right there watching and helping as I scrub a toilet, wash the tub, do the dishes, scrub out a carpet stain, wash diapers, etc. No harmful fumes or chemicals to worry about and they get to really see how things need to be done.

Anyway, the whole house can be cleaned up in an hour. It takes that long because we are playing and little ones are easily distracted and need guidance.

Then it's time to make dinner. They get to help there. Have you seen the Learning Tower? It's awesome for having little ones right at the counter with you and they won't fall off because they are inside it.

Children love to help. And then when it's time to be at the stove or oven, they are usually ready to do their own thing and I can scoot them out of the kitchen if I am stir frying or needing the oven door open.

Good luck mama! It can be done!
A.

I liked Julie M.'s advice and would say that if you don't want to get up early (or clean for 30 minutes after they go to bed) and/or you can't hire a cleaning service you need to say to hell with your house during the week days - the mess will be there for you to clean it on the weekends. Your little 'uns have been in day care ALL day long where they have almost definitely had to entertain themselves and keep busy for themselves and now they want Mama! Give yourself permission to have a messy house during the week! You are not a cyborg. (And, let me tell you, even stay at home mothers of kids these ages don't have a clean house either! It takes a super hero and/or a full time maid!) You have two full time jobs between your work at the lab and your work as a mom - your plate is already so full. You don't need the added stress of worrying about keeping your house "show ready!"

One thing I've started doing is preparing two-three meals on the weekend. Then they are in the freezer or refrigerator and ready to go during the week. Also, when I cook I try to double the recipe so that it makes more than one meal. A lot of recipes will freeze well for other meals. The time you spend cooking at night (which is a good 1/2 hour to full hour) can then be spent with your kids. Then after they go to bed you have that 1/2 hour or so to pick up. Also, I know this is hard but becoming extremely organized (just do one section of a room at a time) has really helped us A lot! Both of your children should learn to pick up after themselves so they can be responsible for picking up their toys, books, etc...Just make sure you have a handy plastic bin they can put their toys in. My 20 month old always helps clean up her stuff before she takes a nap or goes to bed. I think it's important that she learn to pick up after herself and that she learns to treat her things with pride.

Good luck!

V.,

You ask a painful question. I just blogged about "balance" (http://tristansepinion.blogspot.com/2008/08/balance-unive...) - doesn't matter if your a working mom, stay-at-home-mom or mompreneur, it's all challenging!

Those ages leave it all on your shoulders and they don't understand yet, giving up all that time with you when you're gone working, only to give up more when you're home. Best thing I could offer is to get them excited about doing those activities WITH you. Get a stool that allows them to be high up enough in the kitchen to watch / help - find parts of the job they can do - rinse lettuce, etc. And get some "mini tools" - brooms, etc. Only let them "play" with them when you get home and it's 1/2 hour of "whistle while you work" game! I think you'll be pleasantly surprised - at what they learn they're capable of doing to be helpful to you (and they may be small but they CAN understand what a gift to you and the household it is to have their help in this game) and at what fun it can be, making it a game. If they play that game well, you can promise "special time" after dinner - and don't reneg on that, not even once - give 'em your undivided attention as a reward and they'll be your best helpers, always! Hope this helps - and my best wishes to all of you.

T. B.

Involve them in the house cleaning.They are old enough to pick up light items such as toys, clothes, small books etc. You also need to make it fun for them, turn it into a game and when you are done you will have time to sit and olay or read with them.

I used to have that problem...then I discovered FLY lady and all that changed. Check out the website www.flylady.net. She teaches you baby steps to get your life in order. Its so easy to follow her simple plan. Before you know it, it feels like the house cleans itself!

www.flylady.net

I don't do all of her ideas, but some help my house a lot...she has great ways to get your kids involved, too!

www.flylady.net

Also check out her radio show on www.blogtalkradio.com

It is possible to have a clean house and not miss out on your children's lives. You don't have to sacrifice one for the other. I have three kids. 9,3 and 8 weeks old and my house is always clean (mainly because I never let it get bad). Start off by simplifying things. Get rid of stuff that's cluttering up the place. Get organized! This is a huge help. Then once the house is clean, try to find 5 minutes here and there to do little things to keep it up. Throw in a load of laundry, wipe down the bathroom, pick up the living room, throw a few dishes in the dishwasher. Each of these things takes 5 minutes. When you do things in little spurts it doesn't feel so overwhelming and the house never gets out of hand. I never spend a day doing laundry (but I do do laundry every day). I don't have a designated cleaning day (but I clean a little every day). I just do one thing at a time when I have that free 5 minutes. Over the course of the week it makes a huge difference. My husband does the same thing and my kids help, too. They also keep their toys in the playroom (the only room that's not so neat) so they aren't strewn around the house. This method works amazingly well for us and no one is a slave to housework :) Hopefully you find a method that works for you and your family. Good luck!

V.,

I am a SAHM, and I find my house to feel trashed by the end of the week!! I understand the frustrations.

I have started to do a clean up with the boys (2 yr old twins)usually after dinner and bath. We now have a routine of watching Miss Spider recorded from Noggin before bed and books. They have to help clean the clutter of toys before they get the TV...of course, their brand of help isn't much yet.

Also, as soon as they are in bed, I spend 5-10 minutes in one area...not every night. Just when I feel it most necessary.

These little things are keeping me sane and feeling as if the house is more in order.

Good luck,
T.

I'm a mother of a 1 1/2 year old little girl...and I know how frustrating it is to keep a clean house while working full time and having a little one who wants your attention so bad. This website is wonderful. It has really helped me control the clutter in my house and it helps me to take little steps everyday to clean. When it comes to time, I do it either first thing in the morning (and have hubby get baby ready and entertain her) or I ask him for some time to do my routines. I loved the shine the sink. My sink always looks so good and my family makes sure that they put their dishes in the dishwasher rather than the sink. Definately sign up for the newsletter. It gives you a zone to work on for the week and what to clean in that zone. They also have books (I'm borrowing them from the library) http://www.flylady.net/

Can they help you? Even when my son was two, he could understand to put something away. He loves helping with laundry (I put the wet clothes on the dryer door, he shoves them in), dishes (I wash our hands, then he helps me by pulling dishes out of the dishwasher so I can put them away). Both of my kids have been helping me for years, and it's a good habit for them to start. Now they attack their bedrooms (and playroom downstairs) together, while I clean up the rest of the house. I count them down to the time I'll be ready to vacuum, and they hustle to get the rooms done so I can vacuum. Not only does this show them they need to clean up after themselves, but they get used to a cleaner home (and what that looks like--not that it looks like that all the time) AND I get time to clean what I need to (dishes, bathrooms, floors, etc.) without their driving me insane while I do it.

Now if I could only get my husband to clean up anything, life would be great!

I also have a 2 and 4 year old. And I can't help but smile at your dilema. It's just a fact of life until the kids get older that your house will never be quite at your standards. However, what has helped me is to devise a way to "tidy" each room as I walk through the house in the morning and again just after the kids go down for the night. (I start in the master bath, pick up any laundry, wipe down the counter, move onto the bedroom, make the bed, pick up the other laundry, etc..) It seems easier if I confine the neat factor into just two times a day. Since I have a routine of the rooms, if my kids need something, I can care for them and then go back to where I was in the routine. After getting things tidy, I pick one cleaning job for the day and try to get it done. I also try to incorporate the kids, for example, I can hand the laundry from the washer to each child in turn to put in the dryer or to take a toy at a time to their room from the living room. When they get to "help", they feel involved and get less demanding for attention. When I get involved in my bigger cleaning task for the day, I turn on cartoons just for that 1/2 hour.

I hope some of this works for you. Every mom is different. Oh, and when people stop by and the toys are back everywhere, I just say "sorry about the mess, the kids are having fun with all their toys" and people are too polite to say anything and the moment passes pleasantly.

Jenn

V.:

I think the answer is to involve the kids in helping you keep house. Start with having them help you with dishes. Kids love bubbles and after dinner I'm sure they would love to help you clean and enjoy the time with you.

I have the philosophy that I am a mother, not a maid, and I have had my 2 kids (1 and 4) doing chores with me so I could keep my sanity.

So say the toys are everywhere, tell the kids to "help mommy clean their toys." Make it a game, and always reward them. Make it a big deal that they helped you. The reward can be to put a sticker on a chart. Kids love stickers and rewards. A reward could be you give them a hug, or at the end of the week and after the chart is filled with stickers, you take them for ice cream or they get a new toy, or they can go to the park, etc. Just brain storm ideas and do things kids love to do.

My family got us a 1 year membership to the CHildren's Museum and my kids don't know that, they just know that mom takes them there if they are good. Simple ideas, not tons of costly things.

Get them involved in helping you put laundry in the washer or dryer. Just give them small peices of clothing to add to either one. Then, at times when you can (weekends) clean the bathrooms without them being under your feet (like at nap time). Or have someone take them for a few hours so you can get your chores done (bathrooms, vacuuming, etc.).

The times you spend with your kids they will cherish forever, so remember not to disable them by not involving them in everything you do for the whole family (like chores).

And keep my motto if you like it: "I am not a maid, I am your mother." Stay strong and stay loving your kids. You are their best teacher.

Best wishes,

Kim B.

Sorry this is a late post but I wanted to add a couple quick things that have helped me.

Meals - Each week before I go shopping, I plan meals for the next week and write them done on the calendar. They I make my list so I know I will have all the ingredients for the full week. I try to double or triple the recipe and then freeze meals for later. Having my week planned out saves me so much time and money. In the mornings, I check the calendar and see if I need to pull anything out of the freezer to thaw for that night's meal and so on. I also try to plan one pot meals that take 10 minutes of prep so I can throw it together when I get home and then have the cooking time to play with my son or do a quick cleaning of my kitchen.

Cleaning - it can be done. I was the queen of clutter for pretty much all of my life, now I'm the queen of clean and I still spend tons of time with my son. I spend 15-20 minutes each day and so a speed clean, I walk from room to room with a basket picking things up that don't belong and replacing them when I get to the place they go in. When I am at the sink getting ready in the morning, I do a spot clean on the counters and sink with a wipe, 30 seconds and it looks clean again. Put things back where they go as soon as you are done with them. Just keeping up on the little things makes it so much easier when it comes time to deep clean.

Baby steps, don't get overwhelmed. Set reasonable goals that you can actually accomplish. You can do it!

I know this is a totally late response, but i've posted on this same issue before and got some great advice...

Speed Cleaning is an actual book and system you can read and they also have a video to demonstrate. My Mom, sister and i all trade off speed cleaning each others houses once a month or so. We dedicate two hours to each house and it all gets done. It may be available at the library or google it.

Side-Tracked Home Executives is another home organizing and cleaning system that gets the entire family involved. It is a set of 4x6 cards with every home chore and maintenance item thinkable (each assigned a number of minutes on average to complete) that are organized into daily, weekly, monthly, bi-annual, annual, etc. catagories. Pull a card or two or ten every day for each family member to complete. There is also a set of penalty cards to "ticket" personal items left on floors or not put away. I think its just sidetrackedhomeexecutives.com, may have to google.

You work full time so work a monthly house cleaner into your budget...it can even be a couple of high schoolers you pay 10 bucks an hour to do it. It (an of course my lattes) is my major splurge item. It is an amazing feeling to come into your home when its ALL CLEAN AT THE SAME TIME which never happens as a mom! It gives you extra time to spend with the kids, bake, scrapbook, change lightbulbs, garden, or other projects that are glanced over when toilets are calling.

Most of all, be patient with yourself and your kids. This time with them is so short, enjoy it or it will be gone before you know it and you will have a clean house instead of the memories with your kids!

Good luck!

Hi V.,

Let me start by telling you that "I feel your pain", and I think all of us mothers do. I am the mother of four, they range in age from 5-20, but my first two were two years apart and it was difficult! I work from home, but am the president of a Corporation - so I'm extremely fortunate to be able to work from home, but my house is absolutely trashed as well.

What my husband and I have done is began to minimize. We've sold everything unnecessary on Craigslist for starters, and secondly we give the kids a basket in the afternoons and make them walk around the house and gather everything that is theirs and take it to their rooms. Then I just choose one room a day to dust, vacuum...etc. I am fortunate to have older children who need to earn gas money and money to pay their car insurance - so they are responsible for vacuuming, folding and putting away laundry and keeping the kitchen clean. My two younger children have to empty the dishwasher. Each child is assigned a drawer of the dishwasher and this is how they "earn their keep". Your little ones aren't quite there yet, but it's a good time to help them learn how to empty the dishwasher and it makes little ones feel really proud of themselves. You could limit their emptying to "kids dishes", ie; their sippy cups, their plastic plates & their silverware. It keeps them busy as well, while you are trying to tackle whatever you need to get accomplished for that day.

I hope this helps. We're all in this boat together, I hate housekeeping because it's never done with 3 children still at home...but honestly, it's my 5 y.o. daughter who makes the majority of the mess and she just drives us nuts! (but because we're making her responsible each day to put those toys away, she's starting to bring less and less out during the day).

Good luck,

D. P.

With two young children and it appears you're on your own, I think cleaning your house once a week is enough. Being there for your children these few years when they need you is worth lowering your cleaning standards for a while.
You could get special helper things for the children and have them dust with a duster or sweep with small brooms to be a part of the daily rhythms while you are tidying up.
One solution to making dinner and taking care of the kid is that you try to make meals where they can be apart of helping more. Make it fun to help get dinner together by:
1. Having them set the table,
2.4 year old can cut some vegies with a butter knife
3.Take turns mixing,pouring,or adding something to a recipe.
4. Spreading something
5. Tearing lettuce in a bowl.
6. Mashing something etc...
Try having quick cold dinners sometimes like sandwiches, cereal & milk(every so often), finger food. It will be less stressful for you and more fun to be together. They are clearly needing time with you.

V.,
Check out flylady.com. I LOVE IT! It may seem overwhelming at first, but it's all about changing habits and learning new tricks. I think that it's fabulous.
Good Luck to Ya!
A.

Turn chore time into family time. A four year old can put away silverware, pick up toys, clear his place from the table and put it in the dishwasher... Put on some "kid" music and dance with them while you clean. Give them a rag to wipe of the table (even if you have to finish up the job)
Where are your kids during the day... Are they being watched at your house? Then the babysitter should do a little cleaning with the kids...
Most importantly, relax. Your house won't be really clean again for another 5 years. :) Remember that when you kids think back about their mother they can either think 1)she had a clean house or 2)we sure had fun together.

My mom used to offer to "play with me". Somehow whatever we played turned into a cleaning game. If it was my toys they played themselves right back into the toy box. Sometimes we were playing with her knickknacks with played all the dust right off of them. If it was blankets they began as a tent and somehow got themselves folded. Dishes were something different. She'd wash hers and I'd pull out my kitchen toys to "wash" mine. Somehow those always got put away too.

Ways to help would be to start having your wee ones help. There are ways to have them help and make it enjoyable. Create games and a steady schedule for cleanup times. I have a 5 yr old son. I started having cleanup times...i.e. before breakfast, before lunch, and before dinner. By the time that dinner is finished and over with...all that is left is bedtime routine. Works out great. I also have him help before we leave to go somewhere. I don't reward him with treats, yet I do with LOTS and LOTS of praise. Even something simple as making his bed, I would make a big deal about how nice the bed look and then would praise him for using his listening ears. I used to have a basket in the living room for the few toys that he would take out into there. But as he became older (his room is like the Taj Mahal) I told him that he has to keep the toys in his room. This helped with cleanup in the rest of the house. I taught my son since he was about 2 to put things back where they belong when he was finished and to clean up after himself. #1 rule: Listen to mom. #2 rule: Respect. #3 rule: Clean up after yourself. These 3 rules have come in handy PLENTY of times. Hope this helps. :D

I had 5 children, and worked full-time and had a clean home. It wasn't easy at first, but I got into a routine where I set a timer for 1/2 hour and found a project or play routine for the kids in their rooms that would keep them busy for that long. I took that half hour to clean just one room a night. This can be done before dinner or after (doesn't matter). Then we'd do the regular evening chores, like bath, snuggles, bedtime etc; The nice thing about doing one room a night, is when the weekend rolls around you don't have to spend one whole day (or two) of your days off doing household chores, instead you'll have some time for yourself and go back to work a little refreshed. You can also put in a load of laundry while cleaning that one room, and the next evening fold it. It also helps keep the laundry caught up. Definitely begin to teach the kids to pick up after themselves. I used to stress to my children, that everything has a place, and when you are done playing with it to put it in "it's place".
Give tons of praise when they do this. Hope this helps you, and BTW...you'll be amazed how much you can accomplish in 1/2 hour each evening. It ends up taking 2 1/2 hours off your weekend cleaning.

I agree with Rui R. My house is always messy as I work from home and have a daughter in college. When she was little and I worked full time, I hired a house cleaner. My husband also helped with laundry and dishes. I would say, as long as your kitchen and bathrooms are clean, don't worry about the clutter of toys or books. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, so enjoy your little ones while they are still little.

I liked Julie M's advice. And great tips on flylady.com
Is it dirty or just cluttered with toys & clothes?
When my first born was about 2, I visited a Montessori school to see what made it different. I noticed their bathrooms were clean, the toys put away and the kids quietly singing to themselves while "working" on their mats. I decided to try it out at home. I had bins for the toys, shelves for the games & books and clothes hampers to throw in the dirty stuff. I taught my son at an early age to bring out a mat, bring his toy/game to that area to play, and put it away before starting another project. Guess what? My house was always clean! And now, 2 boys later, guess who doesn't have to clean up after them?!
To make our lives easier and spend more time together, I have a housecleaner twice a month and I do Dream Dinners once a month. I even get to read a novel once in awhile! If you teach the kids early, they will be very self- sufficient teens and adults. You gotta love it.

I think you are in a time of life that is hard. I too have a 2 and 4 yr. old and I feel like I am cleaning up all the time. But you have to work and take care of your kiddos, then you can clean. It will get easier as they get older and can help you!(At least I am hoping:-)) But for now, they are more important than a clean house. Maybe instead of worrying about your whole house during the week, pick an area that you can tidy up in the evenings after they have gone to bed. I usually take a load of their toys upstairs as I go to bed and straighten the living room, and it makes things easier and more bearable in the morning. Also....your 4 yr. old can maybe start helping. Mine loves to help me clean! You can only handle so much, and when you have to pick and choose, I would pick hangin' out with your kiddos...the mess can wait for Saturday!

I work full time (my husband does too) and we have a 5 month old, 20 month old and 11 year old. What I have found is that if I get up 15-20 mins early in the morning I can get a lot done while everyone else is asleep. Also, I can typically do a couple loads of laundry while the kids are up, but I wait to fold it until they are in bed. I am also teaching my 20 month old to pick up her toys before she goes to bed every night, so you may want to try having your kids help out with simple things. Like have a cabinet in the kitchen that is theirs where they can "help" you put away their plastic cups, etc out of the dishwasher. Things like that are fun to them sometimes and it's never too early for them to learn.

Hello V.

I also work full time and I have 2 kids, 3 yr old daughter and 17 month old son. I totally know what you are talking about, I have had many times that I want to scream because there is one me and 2 of them. I turn around and one of them have spilled something somewhere. The SOLUTION that has helped me alot is my kids like the vaccum. First I vaccum or sweep the floor and then I give it to the kids. That gives me time to either mop the floor or clean the kitchen after dinner. After I am done I can sit with them for 10 minutes before bedtime. Having the kids think they are helping me has been the great. Try this it might work for you.

Good Luck!

So many people here have good advice! Yes, kids can help clean. Yeah, laundry is an anytime you are about to start something else chore. And of course, cooking on the weekend, or once a month and freezing is awesome.

But we turned off the cable and used the money to hire a housekeeper to come 4 times a month. This way I don't clean toilets, showers, floors get the ultimate scrubbing not just my spot touching, etc.

If you want that 1/2 hour of cleaning to have busy time to yourself for a sort of zoned-out feeling like you are still doing something important time, go for it. You can still sit them down with a toy in the same room you are in and go for it!

I feel your fustration. I too work full time and my son is 2. I get home by 5 each day and right away start on dinner. Depending what is cooking I may have a little time to entertain him. I try and use my crock pot as much as I can that way dinner is mostly done when I get home. Once we have dinner. I put the food away and then play with him. I used to stress about the cleaning, but he is only little once so I would rather spend that time with him.
About 7:30 my husband give him a bath while I start to pick up. I then put him to bed by 8. Then I have time to finish up the kitchen while my husband cleans the living room. Team work is what helps us.

Durrin the week I worry about the basics. Dinner, kitchen, livingroom, laundry, ect. On the weekend I can do more indeepth cleaning when I have more time.

I know its hard, you aren't alone. Good luck!!

Set your alarm 30 minutes before they wake up and clean then. Or hire a cleaning service to come in for a couple of hours on Wednesday or maybe every other Wednesday. (You can get a free estimate to find out exactly how much it will cost.)

You can also make simple, one pot meals when you get home like: A pork tenderloin, with potatoes, carrots, celery, onions in one covered dish will take about 60 to 90 minutes in the oven (depending on the size of the roast). Prep time is less than ten minutes. You can serve the pork with some applesauce - which is always a big hit in my house. Clean up is easy, too. While the roast is resting (when you take it out of the oven and let it sit before cutting it) - transfer it to another pan. Then stick the dirty one into the sink and give it a quick scrub before the pan cools and the food has a chance to stick. Super easy. Super fast. And a delicious dinner - usually with enough for leftovers!

(I know it can be stressful to have a messy house, but your children are only going to be young (and want to be with you) for a short time. They need you more than you need to clean!)

Budget for a house cleaner. It is worth every dime to be able to spend the time with your children and keep your sanity. You will also be able to release the stress and anxiety that you feel with a messy house and not enough time to clean it.
If that just won't work into the budget, I'd suggest one of two things, depending on the personalities of your kids.
1) Make it a game/incentive to have them help you. Set age-appropriate jobs for them each to do to earn dessert, allowance, extra minutes of staying up late, whatever works for them.
2) The other option could be to build in quite down-time for them each as part of their bedtime routine. Ask them to each go to thier rooms and do a quiet activity for 10-20 minutes and it gives you some time to pick things up.
3) I know it's hard after a long day of work, but the 3rd option is always to wait until you put them to bed. That's when I get everything done.
Best of luck!

Oh mama, we don't! =) I also have two small kiddos, and was feeling so very overwhelmed with the house, feeling like I would take one step forward and three back. If you have a partner, it helped for me to talk to my husband one night when kids were asleep and our moods were good and say "okay, here is my reality. Let's make a list in order of importance of the areas in the house you would like to be a priority should I have the time." That really helped, but what also helped was discovering Fly Lady! It is amazing how with so little, she helped transform the way I looked at my house, and how it looked in return! www.flylady.com Start with the "babysteps" and I recommend signing up for the e-mail blurbs. It really really really helped. So much that I mentioned it in our annual holiday letter! LOL! Hang in there mama, it will improve. And remember, you are essentially working two (if not three or four...) jobs right now. Go easy on yourself;)