Ok, so my daughter turns 3 in May and I'm thinking about having a theme "fairy" party. I've got several things in mind...a friend who has volunteered to be the "Fairy Queen" and do face painting, and sandbox treasure hunt (outside, of course) blowing bubbles and possibly a little place to take pictures because I'd like to pass out wings & gnome hats or something like that for favors. My question is, how do I include the older siblings & a neighbor or 2 w/out having them "takeover" or steamroll the little ones?? I was thinking about contacting the moms of these kids (there are only 2-3, but they are all very strong-willed kids!) and asking them to be my party helpers and maybe give them characters in the theme party??? Or do I bother to invite and assume the moms are ok w/ it?? The last party I had was her 1st birthday & it was of course an all-family event, last year we just went to the zoo & out to dinner w/ her grandparent & godparents because my birthday is the same week and (for now) I reserve the right to choose what we're doing! So I'm kinda new at the whole party etiquette thing. HELP!
If you're in a situation where the younger kid can't come if the older one can't (because Mom will need to be at the party and she has to bring both kids) then by all means give the older kids a "job" to do.
Otherwise just invite the younger sibling.
I would not do anything other than what you plan for your daughter. If it is a three year old birthday its a three year old birthday so older siblings that are attending are going to participate in the activities or not but catering to everyone is impossible. For my daughter's third princess party a couple of months ago one little girl brought the older brother I think eight or nine and he just walked around taking pictures with his dad's camera and watched the other kids but felt too old to participate. He had fun regardless. Personally I feel its rude for people to bring siblings when they are not invited (unless they ask but this can also be awkward) because it puts extra everything on the hostess.
How old are these older kids? If they are between 2-4 I'd just go ahead and include them in the actual party with the party activities...if they are older than that, I probably just wouldn't invite them.
I'm guessing that maybe you have playdates with these people frequently or are often in contact with them in the neighborhood, etc. and that can be awkward if you don't invite them, but my suggestion is to just casually mention to those parents that you are doing a a party but it's only for her 3 y/o friends and although you figured that they would totally understand, you wanted to mention it. I think honesty goes a long way and if these kids are older than 4, they probably aren't going to be that upset they missed a 3 y/o party unless they are relatives or very close with your kids.
If you have younger sibling of the nieghbors coming over I might send home extra party favors or maybe even a little special favor for the older kid so they feel like they were included and it's a nice gesture, (especially if you see the parent and/or kid often) but other than that, don't stress over a 2-3 kids.
Generally speaking I try to keep the age range for siblings attending the party to 1-2 years older or 1-2 years younger but not more than that. This way the kids are kind of in the same developmental bracket. So for the birthday party for a 3 year old I may consider inviting children up to 5 years old but not much older than that.
It's your party so you can do what you want. Have activiites that interest the birthday girl but may be fun for the older kids too.
The party is for your child who is turning 3.
So I assume, your daughter's friends will be invited or her friends from Preschool. HER age, friends. It is for a 3 year old Birthday party. HER birthday. So you need to keep that in mind.
DID your daughter, SAY who she wants to invite????? It is her party.
How old is the older kids?
Sure, have them be helpers, if that keeps the older kids from taking over the party. But speak to the Mom about it.
But keep the focus on your daughter, it is HER birthday.
You don't have to invite the older siblings.
I have seen and gotten invitations that would state "Sally and 1 parent is invited to Erica's 3rd Birthday party."
Or you only invite guests that are your daughter's peers. HER group of friends.
As long as the other kids, know that this is your daughter's party, and not theirs, hopefully they will have manners about it. Or that their parents, keeps them in line... so that they do not take-over, the party. That would be RUDE guests and kids.
When I have had B-day parties for my kids... (and their friends have siblings), the Mom themselves, only brought the child that was invited. AND if they did bring the other siblings, they always asked me first if it was okay. BUT the Mom, always made a point, of telling their other kids that "This is Erica's birthday party....and your sister was invited..." And they did not expect... to be the focus. They were polite about it all.
I'd set the big kids up w/ some kind of fun craft. Something that will keep them occupied and sitting for a while. :)
I have done this at many parties and it works amazingly well.
Sounds like you have lots of good ideas already...maybe the big kids could decorate their wings. And make wands.
Have fun!
Well, how much older are the older siblings? Are they girls or boys? An older daughter may still enjoy all the same activities as the little girls.
If there is face painting, ask the face painter to bring supplies to do something non-fairy as well (superhero, pirates, etc) For the treasure hunt, have the older ones help set it up or have them lead a group of younger ones around. If you give them specific jobs and make them feel important, they are likely to do what they're asked without taking over the party.
I would say ask them to be helpers. That's what my sister in law did with my oldest son not that they thought he would run over the little ones she wanted him to have fun as well. And keep in mind if you ask them not to bring them the friends might not get to come. I know a lot of times when my kids were younger if I could not bring them both neither could go as I did not drop them off for any partys.
Good luck and God Bless!
I actually planned my son's 4th b-day during the week on a non-preschool day. Most of the moms are SAHM. I planned it because if they had older siblings the moms could come to the party with the preschool aged children and then get the older kids after the party. I do understand a weekday might not work for everyone.
I do not take it personal if we are not invited to a child's b-day party. Especially if it is themed with a certain age/gender in mind.
get your wings here: http://www.haloheaven.com/index.php
while you are at it, buy some wand materials and let the kids make wands! I used sparkly sticky foam and cut out stars for the tops. We wrapped ribbon around the wands....Kids loved it....Bought the boys bow and arrows.
How old are the kids? Have them help the younger ones make the wands.
