July 01, 2010,
M.M. asks from Salt Lake City, UT on April 28, 2009
How Do You Hide Your Pregnancy at Work Before You're Ready to Announce???
Hi, I just found out I was pregnant about a week ago and I'm in my 7th week with all of my symptoms coming on strong! I work in an office with a lot of different people crossing my desk and working closely with me everyday. I'm trying to keep my pregnancy a secret until I'm ready, but I'm having a really hard time considering that if I'm not constantly eating then I'm sick, and when I'm constantly eating I have to keep leaving the room because I'm sick or have to run to the bathroom. I keep saying that I think I've eaten some bad chinese food or something, but this can't last forever. What suggestions do you have until I'm ready to spill the beans?
*Side question - my face has also been really red and really hot the past 2 days - anyone else ever had that happen during pregnancy?
So What Happened?™
First of all, thanks to everyone for the great advice! After going to the doctor last week and finding out that I'm really only about 6 weeks pregnant rather than 8, I've decided that I really should wait longer before announcing it to everyone just in case something doesn't go right. However, I did have a few people ask me one on one and I followed your advice by not denying it but saying that I wasn't announcing it yet and they've all been great with not telling. I also told the manager of the department I was helping with the last few weeks (simply because it was REALLY effecting my job) and he was very understanding, and then the ones that I don't see a lot like the guy who joked about it because he saw me munching on pretzels, I joked it off saying I was about 8 months and would need the rest of the summer off of work. So far so good though, and I really appreciate all of your responses and advice. Thanks!
B.H. answers from Denver on April 29, 2009
Well, it sounds like I am in the minority,but I was able to hide my first pregnancy from most until I was almost 17 weeks. With carefully chosen clothes and crackers, the only thing I couldn't hide was how dreadfully tired I was. My close friends I told, but most others were either not too observant or I was not too noticable (wasn't showing much, crackers kept the sickness down and I didn't have to run to the b.room until the baby was big enough that she pressed on my bladder: 3 tri). My sister had horrible sickness and actually wore a motion sickness braclet and she was able to hide hers too. Hope that helps.
M.G. answers from Salt Lake City on April 29, 2009
I wasn't ready to tell my co-workers and managed to hide my pregnancy until I was 14 weeks along, so it can be done. I found sucking on Lemon Heads, doing the unisom/B12 thing and drinking lots of water helped. I told everyone I was trying to be healthier by drinking more water- which explained the bathroom trips. I recommend waiting until you're comfortable before letting the people in your workplace know. Congratulations and good luck :)
K.D. answers from Denver on April 28, 2009
I had the same problem with my first. You don't. Hate to tell you that. People aren't stupid. By the time I told, everyone told me they figured so. You can only throw up so many times before people figure out it wasn't the Chinese food. :) You might talk to your doctor about Phenergan or something like that for the nausea and vomiting. If you explain your problem, they might be able to help out. The plus side is, if you're so sick, at least you won't be gaining weight, so your belly won't give you away! :) You can always say that you're seeing a doctor for the problem, and they're seeing what they can do for you. You can even say you don't have a diagnosis, unless you actually do know the diagnosis for nausea and vomiting due to pregnancy. Congratulations! I would just sit back and look forward to your little bundle of joy. Those hormones making you so sick are a really good sign!
S.R. answers from Salt Lake City on April 30, 2009
I was never able to hide my pregnancies (3 kids now) from my co-workers. I was just too sick. But I really wanted to since I miscarried my first, but statistically you wont miscarry if you are sick. I called my doctor by 8 weeks and told him I needed medication. There are many suggestions for nausea, but I have only one: Zofran takes the edge off and has no side effects.
Note- your nausea peaks at 9 weeks and subsides by 13 weeks for most people, not me, but MOST people.
Congratulations and good luck!
S.S. answers from Cheyenne on April 30, 2009
My first baby I miscarried at 8 weeks, so I had to tell everyone I was pregnant that way...and then nobody knew how to respond to me (we always tell our family right away, so that isn't an issue). Sadly (or maybe luckily as it was not a good place to work), I was asked to leave a week later. I quickly got hired in an MD office full of ladies and I pulled my boss aside once I found I was pregnant again (she knew I lost the 1st and had had preg problems herself) and let her know. She was astonished that I was even considering NOT telling her early (my hubby was worried I'd get fired because of it...had only been there a few months) and said she'd be my support system and helped me tell the other girls (worked in an office with all girls and 1 male MD)...I'm glad I told her early because I did have some early bleeding again and was needing to stay in bed and go to MD appointments lots, so she knew and was able to keep me positive. I guess it depends on the support you will have in those around you. If your boss is a grumpy, non-family-oriented person, then I guess hiding it would be the best (like my 1st job)...but if you work in a place like I did the 2nd time, it was well-worth it having everyone know. They will help cover phones or work if you need to run to the bathroom and help make sure you are not doing things (like lifting heavy thing) that you shouldn't be doing. The only down-side was it made the pregnancy feel like an eternity to them because they knew from about 6 weeks on...
K.B. answers from Boise on April 29, 2009
Hi!! and Congrats!! I am also pregnant and due December 12, and am so excited!. I work in a place that reqiures me to lift heavy stuff so I had to tell my work right away. I was very scared to do so since I was still so early, but it has worked out great! Everyone is so helpful, and I believe too that people to will figure it out soon as well. I had some family I had not told yet and had dinner with them and instantly asked if I was. I have the red checks, lol very fun as well as feeling sick all day as well. I hope for the best for you, and again.... big Congrats!!!!!
K.C. answers from Provo on April 29, 2009
AHHH HAHAHAHHAAAA! So funny! But I've been there too. Let me just say that for you, this is a huge deal, and for everyone else who has been there, they understand the intense time and preoccupation you will have with it. You are probably researching baby seats and thinking about babyproofing your house. :D It's good to be excited and worried and completely natural.
If you let people know, they can help. If you don't then they just have to pretend along with you. But, for the work place, they'll just want to know one thing: what are your plans after the baby.
T.S. answers from Boise on April 29, 2009
Have you tried chewing gum? That helped me quite a bit, also try not taking your prenatal vitamins for a couple of days and see if that helps easy the throwing up. You will find that you do need extras of certain vitamins and minerals but the prenatal isn't the only way to get it. My DR. kept me off of them because I was so sick I was loosing weight. Not a good start. If stopping them helps stop the sickness then just let your DR. know. Plus there are a lot of different ones and sometimes you can just change the type you take.
A.C. answers from Colorado Springs on April 29, 2009
The hot flushed face is probably the extra burst of hormones you've got now. I don't remember a red face, but I got hot flashes while I was preggo w/both of mine. Like the other response said, you probably can't hide it-especially if you've got the yuck feeling all of the time. Avoid Coke-it hurts when it comes back up! And take your prenatals at night w/food-they stay down better that way. *stepping off my soapbox*
Have you ever had a candy dish on your desk? Try stocking it w/suckers & mints now. Or maybe bring in a candy dish, fill it w/M&Ms or something non-pregnant first & "wow, I can't believe it's gone already!" dump it into a baggie on day 2 & put hard candies in instead. Peppermint tea might help w/the nausea too-ginger is kind of iffy from what I've heard. Throw in some lime & mint sprigs & pretend you're having a mojito at work! Maybe that will keep them from catching on too fast. If you're already symptomatic though, just tell the office gossip & she'll take care of telling everyone for you & you can (try to) deny til you're ready to spill!
Don't wear baggy clothes either, if that's not what you're already wearing-that's a dead giveaway. Wear what you've got, let them see you're eating a bit more & try to claim you've suddenly discovered this great place to eat & you've been going there so much you guess it's starting to show.
I went in for a job interview 5 mos pregnant & my manager/interviewer had NO idea I was pregnant-even w/the obvious maternity top I was wearing. Maybe you'll get lucky like that & they'll all be so unobservant..
Good luck Mama!