How Do You Handle This? *FB Question*

Updated on September 24, 2012
J.A. asks from Whiteland, IN
9 answers

So let's say an ex friend, romantic interest, or spouse has mutual friends with you on FB. Or maybe it's even a family member you're on the outs with. Of course we can all control who sees our profile. But what about comments and such that they leave for the mutual friends? Do you simply ignore it all? Or do you prefer to block that person?

ETA: This is just a general question and has nothing to do with my personal life. And by comments I simply mean that person interacting with the mutual friends. I am not referring to any "drama".

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

You can block or hide that person so you don't see the information. I have a cousin I hate and I blocked her so I don't see her posts on mutual friends' walls.

4 moms found this helpful

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

It depends on how their "presence" affects you. My SIL and I do not speak to each other. We were FB friends for a while, but it turned into more trouble than it was worth. I wasn't free to comment on anything without her and her cohorts scrutinizing it. (Once, I commented that her son looked so cute in a certain photo, and they all jumped up and down about how cute he is in ALL his photos. No one ever said anything directly to me, just talked around my comment. In fact, her cousin immediately called her and asked, "What does she mean by that?!") She would rarely comment on my stuff, and I learned that when I would comment on her stuff, her family and friends held a meeting to determine what my underlying motivation was. It was just too much work to even be cordial with her. I chose to unfriend her and set us both free from each other. She got mad and blocked me. I thought that that was a bit much, but I must say that the peace that I feel not seeing her all over FB has been refreshing. I needed a break from her, and I feel so much better toward her, now. Unfortunately, she is still unable to be pleasant toward me at all, but that's not my issue to resolve, is it?

For the record, I tried to talk with her multiple times and even apologized for what she seemed to think was some offense with the comment on the photo of my nephew. She never replied. The couple of times when she did, she didn't know what I was talking about. Have you ever tried to have a real and meaningful conversation with someone who just looks at you all wide-eyed and says, "I don't know what you're talking about"? She's mad at me about something and has been holding it against me for years, but when I've asked her what the issue is, she says stuff like, "I don't have a problem with you. Other people tell me stuff...", but she can't say what and can't be pleasant when she sees me. When a relative/mutual friend asked her directly what the issue is, she was able to bark out, "SHE knows what she did!" What the hell--a straight up loon, she is! It's all very comical, but I had to put space between us so that it wouldn't stay at the forefront of my mind.

That's how I handle that type of stuff on FB.

PS. I usually find the drama pretty comical, but her stupidity was just getting on my nerves.

3 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

facebook drama makes M. giggle. honestly i dont get how people make comments about others on their or others walls. did we ever get past the maturity level of 10? i cant imagine ever writing on facebook how my ex is annoying or a jerk even if he is. His family is my friends/family on there and honestly if I need to vent I can here or to a few select friends.
i would find it amusing if someone wrote negative things about M. on facebook. i would probably enjoy the entertainment rather than block them. if its bothering you so much you're posting here either unfriend them all or stop going on fb for a little while

2 moms found this helpful

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I have two aunts that deleted me off their Facebook page, and blocked me. I can't see anything they post on other family members pages or status updates. It's quite funny really. There was one status where I asked my uncle (the one aunt's husband) why he was having a conversation with himself. He had posted five separate comments on his status. He wrote back that he was talking to my aunt. I was like "Oh...sorry. I can't read anything she writes, that's why I thought you were talking to yourself, lol!" He thought it was hilarious...she didn't think it was even remotely funny.

I would just ignore it. Or better yet, be cordial. If they make a comment, and you have something to add to it, or something to say (polite of course), then respond to that person. Treat them as though they were a mutual acquaintance and nothing else.

2 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I have been blocked by one person....guess she didn't like it when I asked her why her kids were playing in the busy street.....I can't see anything she writes. I don't know if she can see what I write. I don't care.
So, if I were in this position, as long as the comments weren't hurtful I wouldn't do a thing. But, if they were grating on me then I would block that person.
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Other than sending a happy birthday wish or congratulating someone on a new baby, I basically avoid facebook.

I don't know who says what about who. My "friends" don't engage in that stuff anyway.

It's worked out pretty well for me that way.

I haven't even checked facebook in over 3 weeks.

Just my opinion.

1 mom found this helpful

J.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

I did eventually remove some of my ex-husband's family from my friends, but did not block them. It was mostly because his brother kept making comments on my status updates that was a little inappropriate.

I figure I don't have anything to hide so no reason to block anyone and I just ignore the drama or hide their posts.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't know how FB works, but I can say that it is the center of a LOT of drama.

My daughter and my sister do not get along. In fact, I don't get along with my sister either - we've been estranged for years.

So, my daughter is FB friends with a friend of my sister's. Somehow, and I'm sure those that FB know how, when my daughter sent a comment to the mutual friend, my sister was able to send my daughter a message - it was so nasty and horrible. It caused a huge problem for several family members, most especially me!

Please don't post anything on FB that you are not willing to say to someone's face and please say it to their face first! Seems to me that FB has a bullying effect on people. Not so "social" if you ask me!

A.D.

answers from Alexandria on

You can create lists. And you can control who sees your profile. I have a ton of lists and my security is majorly tight. I control what I post and who sees what. You can even hide posts as you post them, from one person or from as many as you would like to. It's your page, your life. Control it.

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