How Do You Handle the Same Question over and over Again?

Ask HER a question, something that changes the subject.
That IS the cutest caterpillar, what other animals are cute?
Bunnies? Yes bunnies are cute. Are they rough or soft? What letter does bunny start with? b, b, B! What's another cute animal?
Just move the conversation along when she seems to get fixated.

I just tell my kids, Mommy's ears are full.
The thing is, you CAN tell them, enough is enough.
I tell my kids their comments/questions are great!/clever/interesting etc..... But Mommy's ears are full. It needs a break.
I need quiet now.

And along the way, I have taught my kids... that EVERYONE has a limit, to things. And that, THEY need to know their cues too. And if someone says stop or they had enough, respect that.
Everyone.has.their.own.limits.
I taught my kids that.
They know, *my* limit.
It takes a certain look.
Or I just tell them.
Kids need to learn that, too.

You can stay with the caterpillar and go into other things about them - how they change, what they eat, etc. They're just not going to stick with things as long as an adult, but you can roll with it and feed into the area of interest with other stuff.

This is just practice for when your folks get old and start doing it!

If it were a child other than your scripter, mom, I'd just say "Uh-huh" absentmindedly and not worry about it. But your daughter in particular likes to try to manipulate your interactions and that would change my way of dealing with her in regards to her saying the same thing over and over again. Instead, I'd ignore it. When she starts fussing, then I'd tell her that she has said the same thing several times and that's not how people talk to each other.

At some point you have to teach her that she can't push people into this kind of thing. She IS still young, but with all the rest of the problems you have with her, it's something that I think is part and parcel of the same thing with her.

Glad the caterpillar is cute, at least...

sweetie, you really need to read a few books on toddlers. you are spending way, way too much time and energy going round and round with this tiny person as if she were an adult. it's not good for YOU to keep faking patience and being so knotted up inside.
it really is okay to be firm with her when she does this (or the million other things she does that innocently push your buttons.) you can be kind and loving and yet still firm.
'sweetheart, i have agreed with you that it's a cute caterpillar. now i'm tired of agreeing with you. i'm not going to talk about the caterpillar any more. if you only want to talk about the caterpillar, you stay here and work on the puzzle while mommy goes and reads her book.'
stop letting your day get derailed by a toddler.
khairete
S.

I'd answer the same way a few times.
Then I'd get silly.
"Not as cute as THIS caterpillar!" then start tickling her and be sure to include a few tummy flubbies.
When logic fails you, silly will often save the day!

Instead of simply answering her question turn it into a conversation. She says "Isn't the caterpillar cute?" Instead of just agreeing with her you say "Yes it is cute. It is orange and black and furry. Do you know what kind of butterfly it will be?" or "What do you like best about the caterpillar?" or "Remember the time we found the caterpillar in the garden." or "Do you like the story about The Very Hungry Caterpillar?" It just sounds like she is trying to engage you in a conversation, but she hasn't developed the skill yet.

When they ask a question you know you've already answered over and over. Turn the tables on them. Ask them the question. What's the most beautiful butterfly you ever saw. I work with 2 year olds all day and this has worked for me. They will ask whats for lunch. I will reply Mac n Cheese. A little later same question and that's when I reply. What is for lunch. This is a good way to work on memory skills. This stage will pass soon enough.

"How do you cope with the same question over and over?"

Drinking.

Ha ha ha ha ha. ;)

Okay, now that I got that over with, I'd say this: I think at this age, a lot of time they are practicing conversation. (It can't be conspiracy, right? :) They ALL do it. And they get stuck on topics. My son is six and once he gets stuck on something, he can come up with about five different ways to rephrase the same subject.

I'll tell you what a wise teacher told me: ignore it. I call it 'actively ignoring' ... at this age, this is what happens:
Child thinks "I say 'isn't that the cutest caterpillar you ever saw?' and mommy will answer me." You answer the first time, the second time, then the third time. Kids kinda get stuck on success, that's why they do the same bad things we laughed at on accident over and over again. (Apparently mine was spitting out green beans repeatedly because Grandpa laughed about it once.) It extends to their interactions with their parents... she says something, you respond, it makes her feel good. And so she does it again, and again...

And it drives us crazy. Something that can help is telling her "all done talking about the caterpillar." and then refocus, but also ignore her when she repeats that question. You told her you were all done answering. You do this calmly, don't remind her too often that 'we're all done with the caterpillar"... I would try rejoining her conversation when she talks about something else.

Remember too that when you feel like you are starting to go bonkers, it's okay to take a break. Tell her you are going potty, then go in the bathroom by yourself and lock the door or something. Seriously. Doris Day is right, by the way, in that you will be helped if you assert yourself and don't feel hectored. If my son were repeating himself over and over after I asked him to stop while we were doing a puzzle at that age, I'd likely say "I'm going to take a break and go (do a chore, usually), I'll come back later". I think it's okay for parents to physically excuse yourself if they are being nagged repeatedly with the same question over and over.

just to add levity......

I have a 13 year old who has been in her room all day reading a book and listening to music.

I would answer "how cute is that caterpillar" a hundred times right now.

Answer everything you can. Spend every moment you can. Soon, she will grow into her own life.

I answered questions for her when she was little, because I wanted to instill a love of engagement with others. But at some point I would re-direct questions BACK to her.... "what is so cute", "what do you like best about caterpillars" etc.

I agree, your child is trying to communicate with you, but is too young to know how to have a real conversation. Since she had success before with you answering the question, she's going to keep doing it.

Kids will keep doing whatever they've had success with in the past. My daughter is 12 and she STILL is that way. If she got you to laugh once with something, she'll just keep doing it over and over. We used to just laugh to humor her, but then we realized we were just egging her on so we stopped.

You could do what we do. If she asks once, then answer. If she asks again, you could answer again, a little differently. If she keeps asking then I would gently said "I already answered you. What do you think is the cutest part of the caterpillar?" and just re-focus her question. I think it IS important to let the child know that you are done answering that same question or she will just keep asking, however, you don't need to make her feel bad about it, so gently guiding her to another similar topic is good. It will teach her how to have a conversation.

We used to answer my daughter with humor when she was younger, but that just made her KEEP ASKING, since the point of her asking wasn't to know the answer, but to engage you in a conversation or get your attention. Letting her know that asking the same question over and over is irritating is okay if you do it gently and then teach her how to get your attention in a different way.

Also, if she's asking a lot, then she does want your attention, so finding a way to give her more attention at that moment is a good way to curb it as well. My guess is she was losing attention with the puzzle, her attention span is only 3 minutes so I wouldn't be surprised if she asked you that question every 3 minutes!!

Yes, turn it around on her and ask her questions about the subject. Make them specific questions, too, so that she has to think to answer them.

In your scenario above, don't just ask her "What do you think?"---ask her "What do you like the most about it?" Then you can discuss whatever feature it is (the color, the fuzziness, the number of legs, the antennae, whatever it is) and ask more questions about that particular part of the caterpillar. It's a great way to expand her mind and exercise her eye for details. :)

I give the same answer over & over again....but in different voices. :)

My 5 1/2 yr old grandson sometimes still does the "Why" questions over and over.....

After a couple of times of explaining, we just respond with "Z"...... And he says, "Don't say Z!"

Unfortunately, that doesn't always work, either..... but sometimes, a bit of humor does help.

Do you know another language? You could answer in another language even "pig latin"
"yes, it is the cutest caterpillar"

"es yay t is say he thay utest cay aterpiller cay"

Or we would tease our daughter and say, what caterpillar?, I do not see a caterpillar, that looks like a horse to me..

I ask him questions in return.

This is hard, I know. If he doesn't allow conversation and demanding with the question, I stop answering. If he is rude, I stop engaging in the activity and explain why, in simple terms.

The more questions of yours I see, the more I relate. My son is a year or two older, but he was a lot like you're daughter at her age. So curious and intelligent, but also learning to test those boundaries!! Hang in there, it's less frustrating as they mature!

Are her questions one sided or do you ask questions and engage her in return? I absolutely LOVE B's answer about being silly! Excellent! Keep YOUR imagination going, and it will be more fun for both of you.

Good luck!

It depends on the question.

Chickpea is kinda anxious and will ask the same question multiple times in order to reassure herself. An example is asking what will happen on a particular doctor visit. I'll answer that a zillion times if it helps calm her.

if it it's a casual question, I'll give a serious answer 3 times. Then, I just start bringing out the craziest responses I can think of.

It sounds like she is trying to learn to engage in conversation. She's 3 so it's not going to be very advanced. Like other suggested, YOU ask HER questions to show her what a two-sided conversation is like. And, it is ok to say, we are going to have some quiet time now or whatever. Just try to enjoy your child.

My kids (4.5 and 5) do this a lot! When I get tired of the same question over and over I usually turn it around and ask, what do you think? Or I just say That's the way God made it.
Both of those statements either redirect conversation to something else or end the repetitive question!
HTH,
A.

When kids that age ask a question, they are doing their best to start a conversation the only way they know how. By answering the question you are effectively ending the conversation, so the whole thing starts over again. Turn the question around to her instead and get that conversational ball rolling: "What is so cute about the caterpillar? What do you like most? Does it have a name? What does it like to do?" Whatever occurs to you. It will spark her imagination and save your sanity. And sometimes the results are amazing. This works with why questions too.

Just tell them that your answer is the same as the last time they asked. If that doesn't work then tell them 'enough is enough!'

You can point out to her that she has asked the same question many times!

Maybe ask her "what would you like me to say in response"? Since you've mentioned that she enjoys "scripting", maybe there is a certain response that she is hoping for?

ES

Have you thought of asking another question back?
Have you thought of saying - "Jane. I've answered your question on the caterpillar. What did I say before?"
What about asking about the butterfly? Does she think that's cute or pretty?

Your child is a NOT an adult. Yes, she has communication skills, but not at the level you are thinking she has. She's still a child, learning her world and learning to communicate - which she's trying to do with you....

Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. It will get easier. Then you'll hit puberty and the teens! LOL!! :) Communicate back to her....ask her questions...redirect her to another part of the puzzle...

"yes i like the caterpillar, how about you? what do you like about it? what is your favorite color on the puzzle? How many legs does it have? etc etc"

This is very normal at this age. Always turn the questions back to her.

This sort of thing is a reinforcement of information they're trying to process. You may be annoyed by it, but it's normal. You "cope" with it by smiling and nodding, and then offering up some information about caterpillars.

I read a few responses and you got some helpful answers. I just wanted to add that you're not alone--my daughter does this incessantly til I am ready to scream. I am talking nonstop almost all the time. I lose my patience because it seems like the more I indulge the behavior the more she does it. In other words, answering her endless banter never satisfies her need for it. I don't mean to sound heartless, but sometimes I just have no bandwidth left. It's REALLY hard to live your life having to be "on" all the time and never being able to take a mental break or switch off the talking. I DO think that, aside from all the developmental "needs" surrounding this issue, need for info, language, etc, our kids also need to learn they are not the center of the universe and cannot always control the conversation. Also, at the end of the day, take your pick: a mom and wife who is healthy and happy, or one who is going to snap or break? Only half kidding there.