How Do You Handle Stress? - Pittsburgh,PA

Updated on November 10, 2014
D.D. asks from New York, NY
10 answers

Wise Mommas,
How do you keep stress from taking over your life?

A little background: I have a pretty stressful job, mostly because we survive on grant funds, and when the economy tanked, foundations stopped having as much to give as grants, etc. So, this stress is not new, nor is it likely to end anytime soon.

Rationally, I know that all I can do is work hard and plan for possible instability in our family income. But somehow rational thought doesn't help me when I'm lying awake in bed worrying at 3AM.

I know I'm not the only one with stress in my life, because stress and anxiety can come from many sources. How do you cope with stress to keep it from becoming unhealthy?

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

A back up plan--a Plan B--will help alleviate some anxiety.
Getting to the gym several times each week helps. Or walking, or whatever workout you do.
When I'm stressed because of volume--so much to do? I go into a "first things first" mode. I do the most time sensitive thing first, then down the line with the next thing, etc.
AND, at 50, I've learned that the bad stuff people worry about happening, is hardly ever the bad stuff that actually happens. It's usually stuff out if left field that cannot be predicted. Once I leaned that? It became clear that worrying is a complete waste of time, kwim?

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

First thing is to stop worrying about things you cannot control and put a plan in place. Having a back up plan helps relieve SOME of the stress...

But you might have to make changes...and this might mean finding a new job. One that isn't so dependent upon grants.

Make sure you have a to-do list and follow it.
TALK about your stress. I believe your kids are older - they need to understand the stress and what you are dealing with - you know kids can be pretty resourceful and might have an answer you aren't thinking of...

With the holiday's coming up? Set up realistic expectations. Don't go overboard.

Since your stress is financial? I would make sure my money is diversified and working FOR me...make sure your portfolio is spread out - conservative and aggressive.

Exercise - exercise is HUGE in relieving stress...I walk my dog...three times a day - I work from home...I take him out in the morning, lunch and afternoon...breathing in the fresh air and getting away from the computer is a stress relief...

Yoga...
Meditation...
TALKING....

You need to find what works for you. But for me? Having a back up plan in place...having my resume (in your case) updated and ready - heck - even LOOKING for new positions...might help relieve your stress!!

Good luck!!

9 moms found this helpful

E.A.

answers from Erie on

We lost our only source of income -our restaurant - when the economy tanked. I feel your pain. And I have bipolar disorder type 2, so dealing with stress is somewhat of a science to me, because if I don't deal with it, I can get to a point where I need hospitalization.

First, realize that worrying about anything is useless. It's a waste of time. It's like sitting in a rocking chair and expecting to go somewhere by rocking back and forth. Then, understand if you tend to be an extrovert of an introvert, so you can understand where you gain energy and where you spend it. Personally, I need a lot of time alone. I'm in the middle of a Kickstarter campaign to raise the rest of the funds we need to open a new restaurant (we've already made our goal) and with all the stress involved in planning and executing it, I needed a whole day off in bed. Last Saturday I stayed in bed ALL DAY in my pjs and only took care of my self. Daily, I remember to take my meds (not that you need them, but you might). I should exercise more, no one is perfect. I spend a lot of time alone, both by choice and by circumstance. If I don't get that alone time regularly, I'm miserable person.

It sounds like you need to be able to step away from your job and realize it's not who you are, it's only what you do. I agree with trying to find a new line of work, my husband is miserable working for others and we have been working for 6 years toward this goal of ours. And although it will be a whole new line of stressfulness to deal with, it's GOOD stress.

You might need something to help you sleep for a while. Lack of sleep can lead you down a bad emotional path and make your symptoms worse. Talk to someone, a friend or a therapist. Get your resume together and make a plan to at least look for other positions. Reevaluate where you are in your profession, do you want to change directions? Be promoted? Just work elsewhere?

Find joy in every day living. Small things like that guy who let you into traffic, or that woman whole held the door for you. Do things for other people, a kind word to a cashier, an anonymous donation to charity, find ways to be kind and helpful to others without expecting any kind of return for your efforts.

Refocus your energy to things you CAN change. Redecorate your office or bedroom. Clean out a closet. Put that anxious energy to work for you instead of keeping it all in your brain to wreak havoc.

These are a few skills I have learned to keep my anxiety over stress in check. You'll find a way. And it sounds like you might need a small vacation, are you taking those? Getting away with your husband or kids for a few days? How was your time in Erie this summer? :)

8 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Prayer really helps me. I pray for Peace each and everyday.

5 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

If I don't get outside, in the sun, everyday, I am a crazy woman. It helps me gain perspective and have a better outlook. Also, have a nighttime ritual i.e. a hot bath, hot tea, reading for half an hour before bed, something that brings you peace and do that habitually. I wish you all good things. Take care of YOU!

4 moms found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Exercise. And I am trying to get sun exposure whenever possible.

3 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

We try to have at least $2000 cash in our lock box for emergencies. That way, when something happens, we are not panicking on how we are going to pay for it.

I also pick my battles. I don't worry about much anymore. I'm a Christian and believe that God is with me in good times and in bad. I'm going through some health issues that we can't determine yet what the cause is. It's been going on for more than 2 months and I'm seeing an oncologist. THAT is scary, but no matter what, it will be what it's supposed to be.

I also feel that almost everything is fixable. If you don't like something, make changes to fix it.

I'm also making major changes to our life in general. I have been working at downsizing everything. This is major since I was raised by a pack rat and it's hard for me to get rid of stuff. But I'm learning what my priorities are and it isn't keeping up with the Jones'. So I'm only keeping what we use and need and it's getting so much easier to keep the house clean.

Keep a little notebook by your bedside and QUICKLY jot down what you are stressing about and what's on your mind. Then you should be able to feel like you can go right to sleep and rest.

And continually try to remember the GREAT things about your life and be grateful and thankful for those. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

You need a plan B in your mind so you don't feel like you're balancing above hot lava on an egg shell.

Basically, you have an unstable job. Worse case scenario, funds stop, and you need to get a different job. I live on unstable funds too for the last 9 years when I quit work to have kids one my husband's income. His income fluctuates, and now we're divorced and child support fluctuates, but basically, my plan B is to go back to work if necessary. Meanwhile, I ALWAYS live prudently and below our means, stash a little savings, and I'm ALWAYS ready to cut stuff...

No one's income is 100% secure and MANY people live on tiny budgets. Focus on being proactive and keeping things simple. Being grateful for what you have each and every day is the best stress reliever. While you still DO have your job, be thankful you haven't had to move to plan B and then try to quit dwelling. Easier said than done, but it works!

When I get busy stressing about "when my husband's income will stop, and when child support may stop" I get really scared and miserable. Then I turn it around by saying the mantra, "I am so blessed to have this time with my kids. I don't have to go back to work quite yet. I'm going to enjoy this time while I have it." Then I actively cut some spending to ease my own mind (there's always room to) and actively put some little bit aside to feel like I "did something" and then I DECIDE not to worry about things that are not happening yet.

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband just lost his job, which effectively means our income was cut in half (he makes the same as I do with his military retirement, but without his income also we can't pay our bills), plus it's holiday time! AH! We aren't stressing. We will do what we can, fortunately we have family that can help keep us afloat, and my husband is doing all he can to find a new job. Plus he is going to school so his BAH helps with the bills.

We are taking the time to reorganize the house though. We have been selling things on the FB yardsale sites, which helps with income and cleaning/organizing.

My mom treats us to lunch once or twice a week, which is great because it's out of the house for my husband and makes hm communicate with other adults.

I like to read, take pictures, go for a walk, play a game with my kids, clean, cook, watch TV, nap, etc. Anything that I'm in the mood for typically helps. Honestly though, a nice long walk does the most good for me for the small stresses in life.

For the big ones, I hand it over to God. Prayer is a powerful thing in our household and we pray a lot.

3 moms found this helpful

W.X.

answers from Boston on

Find a new job that has stable pay, even if it pays less.

Find a good pal who will let you talk about the same thing over and over and not tire of hearing it--that will be hard but when you do find her--it will be a Godsend. Older, lonely people have much patience for this.

After you feel better, lend that same listening ear to her.

2 moms found this helpful
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