31 answers

How Do You Feel About Aging?

I just found out I am going to be a grandmom. Ok It's a foster grandmom, but it still hit home. My foster son is 24 now and I am biologicaly more than old enough to have birthed him. It doesn't matter, I'm gonna be a grandma! I wish they had waited, but I am still happy for them. Bu, it all sparked the aging issue.

I will turn 50 in a couple of days and I am really ok with it. I don't like some of what my body is doing, but hey I in pretty good shape and part of me is ready. Old age does bring some infrmities and other issues, but I see it as a new stage in life where I get to be in that new part. I want to enjoy aging rather than battle it every step.

My friend however, freaked out at me about it the other night. She said I was settling and giving up. She said it was stupid of me to let my hair go gray (its actually not that gray) She said since I no longer go out to clubs and go dancing, that my life was getting sedentary and that staying home with my husband and kids meant I was allowing myself to get old. Frankly, I would raher be home with my husband and kids! I think she is the one with the problem! Why fight it so hard?

How do you feel about aging? I it a struggle for you? Do you think staying home is giving in?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

It is good to hear that so many of us are cool with aging. I think our society makes it hard for women. Men get better looking - distinguished but women just get old. I say hogwash to that and the stereotypes that go with it. When I stay home I am working on our farm raising kids and -well, kids. I think a great time out is hiking with the whole family. The best nights out are sitting around a campfire after a days hike roasting marshmallows and talking to my hubby and kids.
Hubby and I look forward to retirement. We have interests and hobbies that we will get more into and plans, plans, plans. I'd rather save clubbing money and travel!

I think getting older is exciting and getting older with my husband is an amazing gift. Thank you all for sharing!!

Featured Answers

I am 48 and I rock.
I lost 35 pounds this year and am back in a size 2. While I am squishier than I used to be, I love the "new" body that I have.
I have gray in my hair and don't plan on ever dying it.
I have an awesome libido and a great man to share it with.
I have a teenage son who is proud to be seen with me and enjoys my company.

I struggled with aging until this year, to be honest. Then I kinda' woke up and realized that I could hate aging and waste the next 20 or 30 years, or embrace it, and enjoy life.

If you are happy then no one else's opinion matters.

9 moms found this helpful

Getting older is a gift. Every single day. Every single birthday. Embrace it.

But I do think a person needs to get out and be super active or he/she will get the bad kind of old (aches, pains, slow down) as opposed to the good kind of old (enjoying the family and keeping up with all the kids/grandkids, keeping one's body fit and toned). I guess I'd say staying home would not be on my list. As long as I'm at the gym daily (when you get older you have the time) and not sitting around...being at home some isn't bad.

Any hair color you want. YOU are in charge.

4 moms found this helpful

If staying home is giving in, then I gave up before I even got started! I've never been into the club-scene and would rather stay home and snuggle with my husband or play games with me kids than go to a bar filled with loud drunk people I don't know.

What's sadder? A middle-aged woman being happy at home with her family, or a middle-aged woman pretending to be 21?

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I am 48 and I rock.
I lost 35 pounds this year and am back in a size 2. While I am squishier than I used to be, I love the "new" body that I have.
I have gray in my hair and don't plan on ever dying it.
I have an awesome libido and a great man to share it with.
I have a teenage son who is proud to be seen with me and enjoys my company.

I struggled with aging until this year, to be honest. Then I kinda' woke up and realized that I could hate aging and waste the next 20 or 30 years, or embrace it, and enjoy life.

If you are happy then no one else's opinion matters.

9 moms found this helpful

I just turned 50 during the summer. I'm not ready to let my hair go gray, but I think that's a personal decision and not necessarily a reflection on aging. There are a lot of reasons to color or not color your hair. But going out to clubs and going dancing? I think she's the crazy one. I have no desire to do that kind of stuff. Not when I have a husband, kids and dogs at home! I like to go out with my friends for dinner and plays and stuff so I'm not just "giving in." Sorry, but I think your friend sounds like she has some insecurity and/or maturity issues. Wanting to stay home with your family is a family and maturity issue, not an aging issue.

And BTW, I'm not "settling and giving in" in other ways either. I lift weights, work out and stay in shape and stay active. But I'd rather spend time with my family than some strangers in a night club. I agree--sounds like your friend is the one with the problem.

Welcome to the 50s and congrats on the grandbaby!

9 moms found this helpful

Interesting question.

I think staying home is more of an introvert/extrovert thing, personally. Some of us really didn't think much of going out to clubs beyond our early 20s. It was a long time ago that I found an evening at home to be more enjoyable than being in a sweaty, smoky room with a bunch of people-- some of whom were on the prowl. Still love dancing, don't need a crowd to do it.

I'll be 43 in a few days and I'm fine with it. I don't color my hair, so I have some gray in it. ( I colored it for years when I was younger and am satisfied that my natural color is just fine.) For me, being intellectually engaged is what 'keeps me young'-- I like to think about things, new ideas, write... I don't like some of what I've been dealing with this year in particular-- tendinitis, back pain, my nearsighted eyes need a new prescription, but if I take care of those things, they will get better.

I will say this about coloring one's hair- my grandmother did it for years, until one day she stopped-- the first time I saw her, I was shocked. Instead of her usual brown she was completely white. Skipped seeing the 'silver' stage.

You know, I guess the thing I love about aging is that I've really come to accept who I am and what I'm about. It's less about worrying what other people think of me and more about considering what *I* think of myself. I know so many women who took time to really pursue things they loved as they got older instead of doing what they were 'supposed' to be doing. They are much happier than the ones I know that are constantly fighting 'being old'. It's a fact-- we all get older. I just happen to think that the folks who spend so much time and effort (and money) trying to look young or hip just end up looking silly or ridiculous. Being healthy and taking care of oneself is fine, but those out there who dress like teens when they are in their forties or who spend loads of money on cosmetic surgeries and such... I wish our culture valued wisdom and age more than it does. I think that's the bigger problem.

9 moms found this helpful

America creates people like your pal. She is not being mean. She's scared. She feels that if she can bring you into her world of hair dyes, clubs, and fad clothes then you will help her feel young.

I'm somewhere in the middle of you two. I am 55. I look late 30s due to being a Dance teacher, having a few nips, tucks, Botox, and enlargements...

I am just getting comfortable telling my age when asked. I don't broadcast it and I hate when others blurt out my age--but I no longer lie about my age.

This is a wonderful question. Be patient with your pal. She's hurting and scared. In our country, it's all about the 20 something. Such a shame.

As for staying home, I go out to malls, meet friends for drinks, but say no to clubs because I really feel old there!

I like staying home on weekends with a good DVD, book or on mamapedia until it's time for bed (11pm).

8 moms found this helpful

I'm 70 and while I am aware my time on earth is limited I'm loving my age. I look back on great times, feel success over difficult times and know I will do what makes me happy for what time I have left.

I was a bit anxious about getting old when I was in my 50's. Getting comfortable with the idea was a many year process. Instead of trying to stay young I looked forward to all that I could do. I wanted to expand my life; not continue with youthful things.

I discovered that I was much less anxious. I could count sucess on so many fronts. I could try new ways of looking at life. I loved spending time with family and friends. I didn't need a frantic life to dull my perceptions.

That is what I see club life like. I went to clubs for a very short period of time to meet others or to cover loneliness. Didn't need that anymore. If your friend is going to clubs because she enjoys the music snd activity and not because she's fighting aging that makes sense. Clubbing does not make us younger. It can be denying who we are, preventing us from maturing in a graceful way.

Do what you enjoy. Embrace your age. Look forward to new ways of thinking and being.

8 moms found this helpful

I think your friend is a nut case. There is NOTHING wrong with getting old. When I'm gray, I will have EARNED every one of my gray hairs. I do NOT see the appeal of a 50-something trying to look like a 20-something. You've been through life, it's time to show off how fabulous you are. 20-somethings just don't have the life experiences of a 50-something.

7 moms found this helpful

Aging - it's not for the faint of heart.
But it sure beats dropping dead.

Clubbing vs staying home has nothing to do with aging.
It's ok to get out of a rut and going out all the time can be just as much a rut as any other habit.

7 moms found this helpful

I suppose I never give clubbing a thought.

I always thinking of the aging super model interview I saw once.
She watched everything she ate, she exercised like crazy, she had all the nips and tucks she needed. She was on the golf course one time, when a young caddie runs up beside her to say some thing. She turns around and he gives a start, like a horror movie and stumbles around and says, I thought you were a teenager... She had her AHhh moment and ask herself Why?

Your gf is not fooling anyone. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin, or have hopes of being, you are fine. I'm a little older than you and my body betrays its age with aches and pains..and wisdom and insight. I'll take that.

7 moms found this helpful

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