M.C. asks from Sheffield Lake, OH on April 19, 2009
How Do You Discipline a 9 Month Old?
Hi Moms. I am a new mother so I don't always know if I am doing the right thing. My question is this: how do you discipline a 9 month old? I know she is just a baby and doesn't understand much. Here is an example...she loves to play in the dogs water dish. I will pull her out of it 20 times a day. I put the dish up at first, but then I was forgetting to put it back down and the poor dog was dying of thirst by the time I realized I forgot to put it back on the floor. So after about 10 times of pulling the baby out of the dog water and telling her NO sternly, the next time she did it I slapped her little hand. Of course she cried, and I felt like the worst mother in the world. It didn't even work because 10 minutes later she was back in the dog water. And also she is biting me. She is teething hard core, I can see the teeth about to pop through. So I know she is only biting because her mouth hurts and she wants relief, but I don't want her to think it is ok to bite people. What can I do? I don't know how to discipline such a young baby. But I don't want a wild child on my hands. Help!
So What Happened?™
Thanks to all who responded! You gave me great advice as always. I know now the I need to redirect her when she gets into something she shouldn't. Thanks again!
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R.S. answers from Indianapolis on April 20, 2009
Its hard because they still seem so young at 9 months, but one of my books said that is the age when you start to discipline. My son loves the water dish too and I had to put it up on the counter many times. You will start to notice that when you tell them NOT to play with something, they will do it to test you. This is how you know they understand at such a young age. We started with time outs. Just try and remove her from the situation, even if its 10 times! I too would sometimes forget to put the water dish back down, but it prevented him from soaking himself!
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M.B. answers from Dayton on April 20, 2009
It sounds like you are doing just right. Of course you aren't using a hard slap like some people have suggested - a slight tap on the hand at this age is fine. Accompany it with a stern NO.
I would always then put them in another room to get them interested in something else; trying to redirect kids without leaving the room can be almost impossible at times. Just to keep your sanity, I would baby proof your house as much as possible that way she can explore a lot and still be safe.
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S.D. answers from Indianapolis on April 20, 2009
Redirection is your only choice. Telling children "no" so young just teaches them how to say no.
We gate off the area so our kids can't get to the pet's water. If that's no an option for you, just keep a closer eye on her and every time she gets close, just move her and set a toy in front of her. And you're right, slapping her isn't going to get you anywhere. She's too young to make the connection, she just knows that mommy hit her all of a sudden and it hurt.
The biting is another issue. Make sure she has lots of teethers. It doesn't have to be toys meant for teething. My first son liked the rubber end of an eye dropper - especially if I gave him a Tylonal bottle and let him chew on the rubber. My second liked the large medicine droppers you get from the pharmacy. You can just go to Kroger's pharmacy and ask for the 2 tsp medicine dropper and they will give you one. Also, get some Hyland's teething tablet and give them regularly. They are homeopathic and can really help with the discomfort of teething.
H.G. answers from Columbus on April 20, 2009
STOP SLAPPING YOUR DAUGHTER! Put the water bowl up or outside. It's up to YOU to keep her safe, not up to her to keep herself safe. A water bowl is a potential drowning hazzard. You need to take the things away from her if you don't want her to have them.
D.T. answers from Indianapolis on April 20, 2009
She's less than a year old. Most dicipline will not work simply because she has zero self-control at this age. The urge to explore is instinct for babies. Of course you can start laying the groundwork and saying "not the water dish" 20 times a day and you'll drive yourself nuts. Just put the dish out of the way. Gate off the room, put it up high, whatever.
The best way to dicipline a baby/young toddler is through distraction and redirection. Since she seems to love water (most babies do), get a water table (remove the legs and put directly on the ground so she can reach if she's not standing/walking). Fill the sink with water and a few measuring cups. Put water in a dishpan and set on the kitchen floor. Then when she goes for the water dish you can say "play with water here, not there (pointing)".
The same thing works for stuff like jumping on the couch (it's coming soon!) or climbing a bookcase. Provide a safe spot (small indoor trampoline, Kangaroo Climber, etc) and redirect her to the areas where it's OK to jump or climb... or play in water.
If she's biting because her teeth hurt... help the hurt go away. Motrin is best because it deals iwth the pain and the swelling. Tylonel doesn't do anything for swelling. Popsicles are a lifesaver for teething... a few minutes gnawing on one will provide a very numb mouth and a few painfree hours. Wet and freeze a dishrag, use teething tablets or give her a toothbrush to bite on.
R.S. answers from Indianapolis on April 20, 2009
Its hard because they still seem so young at 9 months, but one of my books said that is the age when you start to discipline. My son loves the water dish too and I had to put it up on the counter many times. You will start to notice that when you tell them NOT to play with something, they will do it to test you. This is how you know they understand at such a young age. We started with time outs. Just try and remove her from the situation, even if its 10 times! I too would sometimes forget to put the water dish back down, but it prevented him from soaking himself!
J.B. answers from Bloomington on April 20, 2009
Hi there! This is happening in our house as well. My daughter is also nine months and into everything! She has her daddys love for all things electric. My love for shoes. And is always chewing on the coffee table. The girl is constantly told NO! But ten minutes later, she's at it again. I read somewhere that babies are told 300 no's to every yes. But we parents are just trying to keep a little sanity. Recently our daughter was determined to lick our slidding glass window clean. After telling her NO a hundred times, we just let her have at it. (And posted a video of her doinig it on Facebook for all the family to see.) She apprently just needed to get it out of her system because she hasn't tried it since. Maybe you could just let her dive into the water one day herself. She may figure out on her own that it's best to stay away. Good luck!
D.W. answers from Cleveland on April 20, 2009
I agree with everything written. I've always been told that children can't really respond to or understand discipline until they're 18 months. I know it's frustrating saying no over and over and redirecting constantly, but remember that you're not alone that department -- we all get frustrated too. Good luck!
S.M. answers from Columbus on April 20, 2009
My son is also very stubborn, so I feel your pain. At your daughter's age, he was obsessed with trying to unplug things. Redirection never worked, he would shrug me off and run right back to what he had been doing. A light tap on the back of his hand got his attention for a while, but then that didn't bother him anymore. Then a friend told me to use different words, since kids get tired of hearing "NO" constantly. So we started saying "DANGER" or "OUCH" in a stern voice, which startled him a little and got his attention much better. Now he is 15 months old and he will point to things he's not supposed to mess with and say "ouch" and shake his head. Just stick with it, and she will learn eventually! And remember that her being stubborn at this age is tough on you, but will be really good for her when she is older, since she'll be less likely to follow whatever her friends are doing. Good luck!
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