How Do Working Moms Handle the Sick Days and Sleepless Nights While Working?

What is your Degree in? Could you possibly work from your home?

I only have one child but I have been there. I worked until I went into labor and had to return to work and school when he was only 2 months old. There is a lot of pressure out there and many employers will make you feel like you can't compete with other employees because of your children but you have to know your own value. As long as your performance outweighs your attendance you can be confident in that the company you work for is benefiting by having you as an employee and you don't have to worry about job security.

What kind of work do you do? Maybe you should consider finding another employer during your maternity leave. There are more understanding employers out there, you just have to find them. Be honest about your children when you interview and assure your employer that you more than make up for lost time with quality of work and productivity.

I have worked for employers on both sides of the fence and it makes all the difference. If your employer is closed minded and doesn't feel understanding about your children’s needs and continually pushes you to do more than what you can, it will...and I stress...IT WILL affect your home life and your children. Your stress level will be higher and you will continuously be worried about job security.

My suggestion...Prepare yourself to change jobs and try to find a small, possibly family-owned, company that values good work above attendance and you can move up quickly and still make good money without the stress or lack of security. That's what I did and by being a hard-working dedicated employee that always went the extra mile WHEN I COULD, I doubled my income in les than 2 years and now I have all the flexibility I need because my employer values me and my work ethic.

With another one on the way, you're really going to have to look at your priorities. They are REALLY hard to find, but always keep your eye out for a position that is part time or a job share. Suggest a job share for your current position if things get tough. This doesn't get any easier any time soon, I hate to say it. I have been there too.
Sometimes, if you look at what you're paying in child care, you would not lose a thing by taking something that is part time or reducing your hours because your childcare savings (and sanity) will make up the difference.
Part time and flexible employment is tough to find, especially if you're a professional level (bachelor's degree or higher).
If you have health insurance from your husband's job, sometimes an employer (usually a smaller one) will jump at the chance to have a professional to work for them and not have to pay those benes because you're part time. Keep checking Monster and Career Builder and Career Link for pt opportunities to match your skills and good luck.

I definitely feel your pain and struggle with this all the time. I only have one child but I work full time in a demanding career. It is really hard to find the balance and sometimes the scales will tip one way or the other. I try to be as efficient as I can at work. It helps that I use a home-based daycare that does not require that I keep my son home for every sniffle, just when he is really sick. I have found that sometimes I can't get it all done during the day so sometimes I have to bring some work home on the weekends which I do early in the morning or naptimes. I also switch out with my husband on the sick day thing. He has a pretty understanding boss, where I really do not. This cuts the out of work time some. I just tell my job when I really need to go. My daycare called one afternoon saying that he had pinkeye and I packed it up and left immediately. I still find myself feeling that I never give enough to anything sometimes. Other days I feel pretty good about it. Like someone else said, the key is to stay productive. If you are making money for the company, it is hard for them to say a whole lot. My job however seems to feel as though nothing is too unreasonable to ask. You have to set boundaries. It is hard, but it can be done.

Dear B.,
I have been in your shoes before (except there's no 2nd child.) I have received a lot of flack from my employer over my son's frequent illnesses. I missed a lot of work, but then around 17 months my son had tubes in his ears and had his adenoids removed and he is so much healthier. Unfortunately in our country, women (especially mothers) are not truly valued. We are made to feel guilty as mothers for "abandoning" our children or as "bad" employees. Most people do not have the option financially to stay at home or afford a nanny. My husband and I worked out a system during my son's illnesses. I would stay home in the morning with him (and take him to the doctor) and at lunch time my husband would come home and take over while I went to work. I would work late and this looks good to my employer that I am making an effort to come in. Also if my husband cannot take the day off (or I can't) one of us stays all day then the other stays home the next day. But neither of us is out 2 days in a row. Good luck!! Keep in mind that if you get fired you can file for unemployment. There are so many legal issues also because you are pregnant so I think your job is safe for now through maternity leave.
K.

I feel for you believe me. When my son was that age it was very hard. I took a lot of naps when my son slept on the weekends, my husband helped a lot during that time so the baby and I could rest. If you are able I would take the time out to look for possibly another job while you are on maternity leave. Yes losing your job with young children is very stressful, I went through that last year when I had to live temporarily in Orlando. However, the Lord got me through it and only by his grace and mercy did I make it through. I also ran into employers who are not children friendly so I did the best job I could do and just kept looking for another oportunity. The Lord is with you. Pray and rest in his word.
Have a blessed day in the Lord.

B.,
I wish i had something to say that would really, really help you. Have you looked into other jobs? I know it may seem unrealistic since you are having another in December, but actually, the employer seems to be the big problem. A lot of employers now are getting a lot better about working with moms and there might be one out there you could get on board with. having this extra stress of getting fired is too much. Look at you situation and write down "things you can change, things you can't change" Look at the things you "can change" and talk about them with your hubby. I also take my son to a home daycare, so he only has to stay home with fevers. He always has a runny nose and he doesn't have to stay home for that. There are also hospital programs that will take moderately sick children during the day. Sarasota Memorial has one, I haven't tried it, but I here that it is actualy pretty good. That would be a last resort if you think your employer just won't tolerate one more missed day! I too work 32 hours a week, but I have a wonderful employer. My supervisor has three children himself and I can comfortably miss a whole week of work and honestly not give it a second thought. The people who work with me will help get done what needs to be done. I have a rare situation I know, but not totally unheard of. What work do you do? County and State jobs tend to be a lot more family oriented than anything private or corprate.
Best of luck!

OK B.....im a mom of 3 ages 4 2 and 4 months...i am a full time student, and begining a new job soon... your worries are not off key. but i would suggest getting under the FMLA by takeing a paper to your child's dr and having them sign it when the baby gets sick. And since you will be having a new one soon after the baby make a set nap time for you and the big kid. Lay the baby down and you and jr. take a nap together. thats theonly way i ever got any sleep. I also suggest letting your boss know when you feel like your big kid doesnt feel good. that way if you have to call out to be with him/her it doesnt look bad on you because you have attempted to tell them the kid is sick. Good luck! let us know when the baby gets here

Keep in mind that your employer can't fire you for having children unless your work performance declines.

I definitely know where you're coming from. It's impossible to succeed the same way in your career when you have children so young. I have a 6 month old, and another due in March. I just take each day by day and hope that it will work itself out. I had to stay out today because my son was sick. Luckily, my sick time is not tied into my vacation (I work for a bank.) For that reason, I would agree with the other response here. There are companies that won't require you to use vacation if your child is sick. There are companies that value performance above time spent in the office. Good luck!

You will be fine, I promise you..I have 3 children, and work full time in the medical profession, so I know first hand how it is when you get pressured to work longer hours, and not a lot of understanding when it comes to your home life..The bottom line is, being pregnant is not a fireable offense, and I guarantee your employer is aware of the fact that it is an illegal form of discrimination to treat the situation as such..I am sure that you are in need of the $ , but you are also entitled to 12 weeks of maternity leave , as outlined in the FMLA,without fear of losing your position or rate of pay, so you are covered..Just keep in mind, you were looking for a job when you found that one, and if need be, you'll be looking for one when ya leave..Stay strong..

Protect yoursef with an FMLA, you cannot get fired because your kid is sick. I am not sure what your career is, but there are so many child friendly employers out there. Would working nights while your husband work days be an option for you? This is what I currently works due to taking lots of time off to take myself or my 20 month old to the doctor. Jobs will come and go but our kids are our 1st priority. Good Luck!