How Do I Tell My Husband?

S.: I would hope that your marriage is one of love and committment to each other. You took the precautions not to get pregnant, but you did. The only sure way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence? Both of you are responsible for the life you carry within you. Life does not always go according to what we plan. Tell him, and the both of your work it out. I wish you the best and I will remember you in my prayers.
Chaplain F. j m

Hi S.,

First, congratulations!! Second, just tell him. Once it's out there, you can talk about it. Usually, what we imagine is worse than what will actually happen. Think of it like this...your kids will have a likely better relationship being closer in age and you can get the baby stage over with before you get too settled in the toddler / pre-schooler part of your life! Also, now you know that if you don't want another one, you may need to change you BC. No method is 100% except not doing it...and we all know that isn't going to happen! (I know someone who got pregnant after she had her tubes tied and again after her huband had a vasectomy.)

Good luck!!

I like the idea of just handing him the test...and then you can say "look what you've done"- blame it on him...women always take the brunt of the problems...it's high time we held them responsibile for something.

Everyone's right- you certainly didn't do this by yourself, so just get it out there~ "I know we talked about waiting, but your little swimmers didn't quite hear us...."

Best of luck-

Uh, just tell him. I know it's easier said than done, but if you just blurt it out, at least it's out there. He helped so you are not to blame. Birth control is not 100 percent effective. I can understand the strain it can have if you all are not in agreement, but it just happened. It's not like you planned to "trap him". It's ridiculous for him to think otherwise.

These situations can be hard, birth control is not 100% and being a grown adult he should be aware. Best thing, Just tell him how it is, although like most men~ he will blame it all on you, "how could you get pregnant when we decided to wait" honey it takes two to tango! I didn't fertilize this egg on my own. Good Luck and congratulations! God works in mysterious ways.

I had gotten pregnant with my 3rd child unexpectedly also and my husband stated he didn't want any more and he didn't want to talk about it for another year as well. He wasn't exactly excited when I sat him down and told him but he was after a day or 2 went by. Your husband has to realize that it takes 2 to make a baby and he didn't exactly help in the birth control. I talked to my husband again a few days after i told him I was pregnant and he said he was happy just scared we couldn't provide. Well it is 3 years later and he is happier then ever because we finally had a boy! I have told my husband that if he didn't or doesn't want any more kids then he should have gotten a vassectamy or atleast now he should. It is easier for them and much less painful for them then it is for us. I am sorry I am not much help on how to tell your husband but in time hun I am sure he will be thrilled.

Congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy. I just took a pregnancy test, and handed him the results when he got home from work. I didn't even have to say a word. My husband actually went out and bought four more tests that night, with the results of all four being the same. He was completely stunned, as we had decided to wait a little longer to have children. Don't let him make you feel bad or make you feel like it was your "fault" somehow. If he really wanted no more children, there were measures he could take himself to insure that that could not happen. That is exactly what I told my husband and that was the end of that! After this baby, you might want to consider another form of BC. I have an IUD and love it. It is more effective than the BC pill, lasts for 3-5 years, and you don't have to remember to take it (which was my problem). Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Both of our kids were 'surprises' and I never had the best time telling my husband. I wish I was able to tell him in a fun and surprising way, but that was not a realistic thing to do in OUR situation. For our second child, I just came right out and told him. I knew he wasn't going to be happy INITIALLY and we just dealt with the surprise and worry (we weren't financially ready for another child) for awhile. But eventually with both of our children, there came a time when we were both thrilled, excited, and felt blessed! My husband is a great Daddy and loving husband, but he dealt with the our pregnancies in his own, slowwww, way. :) BUT whenever that time comes for you guys, and it might not be right away, but THAT's the time to go out and CELEBRATE!! Bring your little boy, he'll be excited to be a big brother! Just be realistic and know it will take a little while for your husband to feel as happy and excited and you want him to be. It doesn't mean he won't love the new baby or isn't happy to expand his family with you, it's just a big adjustment for all of you and the thought takes a little getting used to. Plus, you never really know if he will surprise you and be ecstatic right off the bat! Who knows!
So, good luck... and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

My husband and I married, and he had a child from a previous marriage, 7 years old at the time that I found out I was prego. He didn't really ever act gungho about having more kids, and I was on b/c for 10 years and became pregnant. God makes no mistakes, this baby has a purpose, just trust that, and just know that theres NO way that you husband can look at that baby once he/she is born and deny the love he will instantly feel!

Edit - forgot to add that my husband absolutely supported our pregnancy emotionally, and was very excited when our new son arrived! Life wouldn't be the same with out our latest addition!

Good luck!! Don't stress about it, usually the things we over analyze aren't so bad once we face them.

I went through this with my second pregnancy. I told him over the phone. I burst out crying saying that I was pregnant. He was shocked. I was on the pill also, of course he blamed me for messing it up but got over it.

It was a surprise when 8 weeks later and discovered it was twins. We were extremely shocked but he loves all three of his boys and could not imagine life with out them.

It will be ok. It may take a little time but he will get use to the idea.

S., the best way is to come out and just tell him. you can;t carry a secret like that all by yourself. just sit him down and tell him. you never know you might get the answer you least expect...

Just tell him. You didn't do it alone. You used birth control, so this baby was meant to happen. God dosn't make mistakes.

Just remember this....You didnt get pregnant by yourself. It takes 2. If you were on birth control you were doing your part. He needs to understand that. Its not like you went off the pill and decided "im going to get pregnant" Good luck :)

This one is a tough one. But birth control does fail. Nothing is 100% except abstinence and you can't have that with a husband. Wait for a time when he's relaxed and in a good mood and gently tell him that sometimes birth control fails. Yes, he'll be in shock - my husband was when I told him I was pregnant with our 4th (and unexpected) child. He'll get over it, though. Then, later, bring up the idea of a vasectomy, if he truly doesn't want any more children and you agree on the subject. It's pretty much 100%. And, no it doesn't change a thing. My hubby had it done, he drove home afterward, sat on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch for a day, then went to work the next day. It's really minor and much easier than you having major surgery to have a tubal ligation. Hope this helps.

Congrats!!
I would just tell him..he will get over it..If he doesn't like it then his not that great of a person. That child is half him and half you. Childern are a blessing, and being on birth control God wanted that child here..Good luck, but he should love the idea, i would make my husband

The sooner you tell him the better.

No matter what you think he thinks about more children, don't (especially 3 years into a marriage)underestimate your husband or think you know him so well.

You two are a supposed to be a team...tackle this together.

Tell him!! He may be pleasently surprised....then you will be relieved as well....the fact is that you are already pregnant...and you cant change that......sometimes even the best methods of birth control do not work ( excluding abstinence of course) so congratulations!!!