How Do I Teach My Four Year Old to Love and Cherish His Baby Sister?

One thing that worked really well with my daughter was giving her special time alone with both my husband and I. She was very jealous of the attention her little brother was getting when he was an infant. At least once a month my husband and I each go and do something special with her. We can usually tell when she's ready for her special time. She doesn't seem to feel threatened by her brother now and they have loving relationship for the most part. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I would do a behavior chart. Most things he is doing is impulsive and to seek attention, even if it is bad attention.
If he can have a visual then he can see how he is doing each day. Rewards for helping and being kind, consequences for bad behavior.
I would also include him in helping with his sister. Make it a huge big boy job to help her with feeding, getting a diaper for you, teaching her to make funny faces.
Then I would put on a calendar special days with just you or just your husband so he has something to look forward to and realizes he will get your time.
Another thing that helped my daughter when her brother came along was getting out the baby pictures and home movies of her when she was that age so she saw I had to take care of her that way too and she was young once too.
You aren't losing him, he is testing boundaries to see if rules don't apply anymore. You have to be compassionate to his feelings however really be hard on him for it being unacceptable to be mean at any level. For the safety of your daughter and for him to learn that it is never okay to be mean to anyone.
I don't think there is a set timeline when a child accepts a sibling. I think each child is different and all you can do is be consistent and let him know that he has boundaries and he needs to stay in them.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi, my kids are two years apart and when I first brought my daughter home, my son wanted nothing to do with her!!! One day a Franklin (the Turtle) cartoon came on where his mom brought home a new baby, and all his little friends were jealous because he was so lucky to have his own new little sister. Right after that cartoon, he came over and looked at her, kissed her on the forehead and ever since then, he loved her. I recommend finding a video that helps them deal with this new little intruder.:) It wasnt any thing I did on purpose it was just great timing. BTW, my kids still get along like best friends they are now 10 and almost 8 !!

1 mom found this helpful

You have to put yourself into your son's position and imagine that wow I am no longer the center of the 'universe' and how dare you bring something home that takes attention away from me and why don't you pay all your attention to me, am I not cute anough or, that thing makes alot of noise and even others are paying it more attention. Maybe if I am louder and......
You get the idea. I'm sure you know this on one level but the reality is the dynamics of the family has permanently changed. I felt the same when my 2nd son was born and my first's innocence was no longer there. You'll find time to spend exclusively with the first born and that time should be held sacred. Find a trusted friend to care for the daughter and have fun. Maybe going out for icecream or to a park.
I have a friend who has a just one child and I might be biased but I don't think only children mature too well with out finding out in a hard way that life things are not just handed to you. Sharing and learning to work well with others really is something to be valued.....

1 mom found this helpful