Whoops! I don't think this is Love and Logic. L and L says that you do have rules and requirements and if the child doesn't follow them their is a natural consequence.
Have a specific bedtime. The lights are to be turned off and she is to be in bed. You enforce that bedtime and lights off. I suggest that you spend a week end putting her back in bed each and every time she gets out of bed. That is a natural consequence. It may take a couple of nights for her to realize that you mean business and that she will stay in bed.
The second part of this natural consequence is that she gets up at the same time each morning no matter how tired or sleepy she is.
You are the parent. You are correct. She is not a consequential thinker yet. You are teaching her to be one by giving her natural consequences. First you have to make the rules.
She can decide when to turn off the lights. She can turn them off now or 5 minutes from now. She can have private time to play or do whatever she wants the 15-30 minutes before lights off time. You are the adult and the parent. You decide the big things such as bedtime. She decides the small things such as exactly when to turn off the light. As she matures you give her more decisions based on her level of maturity.
When my grandchildren stay overnight at my house they can decide if they want me to read a story to them or if they want to listen to music or a story on CD. They are 6 and 9. It has only been in the last few months that my grandson has been given that choice. He didn't expect to choose.This is Grandma's house and we follow Grandma's rules.
I am much more lenient than my daughter. She thinks I spoil them. I let them choose what to have for breakfast. I don't even list possibilities, tho I'd suggest a mother should do that. Being able to choose what for breakfast from whatever is on hand is a treat. My daughter doesn't allow choices most mornings because there are 4 of them to get off to school and work I do stock many of my grandkids favorite foods.
To have an organized well run home there have to be boundaries. Someone has to be in charge and it better be the adult. You are in charge. Please go back and read your Love and Logic book.
I am glad that you are trying out L and L. It's really a very useful skill that does teach children to make good decisions and have control in their lives so that they don't have to rebel. I think what you've missed is the need to have a basic structure put in place by the parents first. And it's a structure that the parent's build upon, keeping in mind the maturity level of their child(ren).
As a foster parent I've attended a couple of workshops put on by both Foster and Kline. They have a therapeutic treatment center in which children with attachment disorders come to live. Their rules are rigid and the consequences immediate. It takes this sort of consistency for children who have thus far not been able to attach learn to trust.
Parents of children who are attached or bonded do not need to have such a rigid structure but they still need a structure. I did like Neerja's suggestion that you could let her read in bed with a light on if she's not ready to go to sleep. But.....the rule still is that she stays in bed. At this age you don't need to keep repeating that it's because you need private time. That is one reason but it's really the least important one. She needs enough sleep so that she will be healthy and happy.
Actually, I don't think you have to keep repeating reasons. I fell into that trap with my daughter. As long as I gave reasons she felt that she could give reasons for staying up later. What I also learned in these work shops is that yes, it's OK to give a reason, but state it once. Then be a broken record and repeat, "it's time for you to stay in bed." Then the child has no doubt that you mean what you say and cannot be talked out of your reasons. What is important is, "it's time to stay in bed."