How Do I Stop the Whining?

I have to agree with Jennifer B's response. When I was little, my mother absolutely refused to acknowledge that I was even speaking until I spoke in a normal tone of voice.(I was a big whiner) My daughter, now 6, does it and, I gotta tell ya, it makes me NUTS! LOL! I use the same tactic on her & it usually works like a charm. When it doesn't, she's the one who gets frustrated...lol...not me. Hope this helps.

Not to be rude but I think the people in your life are giving you the wrong type of advice. Her whining may just be a part of her personality that's just now starting to show. or it may just be a phase. My 3 1/2 year old was a happy baby, but started a whining phase at 2 1/2. We're still dealing with some MAJOR whining to this day. I'm just hoping it's a phase. All I know is focusing on the whining and feeding into that behavior just makes it worse for us. Maybe when your daughter starts whining, just explain to her in simple words the "why" of the situation, like "Mommy and Daddy need a rest for now" or "play time is over right now" and if she continues to whine, either redirect her attention somewhere else or just ignore the whining and hope she will move to a different activity on her own. You may have a long road ahead of you with the whining, so just try to be patient with her. It just sounds like she's going through a phase where she's testing you guys, which is what all kids do, it's totally normal! It doesn't mean you aren't giving her enough attention or that she needs a sibling.

My daughter whines too, but not as much as i'm sure she could. EVERY time she whines I interupt her and say "I don't understand you when you whine, you need to use your polite voice". Or is she says "juuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiccccceeeeeeee" in a whiny tone I say, "no, you need to say can i have some juice please mommy? in your polite voice." I NEVER do what she asks when she is whining, I wanted to cut it before it got really bad. Good luck!

I would suggest giving her something to play with while you and your hubby need a break.
A bag of blocks or something to redirect her attention for a little bit.
My Dh and I would do this after dinner, he would play a bit with ds but then dh would want to watch t.v. so we would get the blocks out or the playdough out right in the middle of the floor so dh and I could be near by and ds would have something to do.
You could also start to let her know in her language " oh no...you are whining...mommy doesn't like whining...use your words and if you know what she is trying to say...help her say it...."you want time with mommy! you want time with mommy" Mommy wants you to play with blocks now. Repeat it a couple times...now your speaking her language and teaching her how to communicate. Whining is normal, my 4 year old still whines at times and I still remind him a better way to ask for something.

My son is now 2/12 yrs. old but I remember going through that at that age ( I think it's just a stage). I think they are at an age where they are really learning so much and kind of think their bigger then they really are. When my son gets whinny I notice that he is getting bored so I try and introduce something new to him, may be go to a new park, or introducing a new toy or just getting out.

Actually I would say the opposite. I don't think that whining has anything to do with attention.
I have seen many theories work with curbing this annoying habit. Kids love attention and love to be talked to. When my son whine I playfully tell him that "I don't understand whining. Can you please speak English?" and then I go about what I was doing and ignore him until he stops. Do I want to pull my hair out somedays? Absolutely. That is when he gets to sit and whine in his room until he can speak properly (my old temper tantrum fixer). Sometimes if I am feeling a little more patient, I'll make him repeat what he said in a normal voice. I make him do it a few times until it comes across as non-whiney. It usually gets really funny but it makes the point that the conversation will go no farther until you speak like a normal person. I don't know if it will work for you but it works for me.

Hello J., to be blatenly honest it will never stop!! They whine now, tomorrow and pretty much through their teen years.. So put on the ear muffs and enjoy your time with your husband.... It will eventually slow down but never end..

My two older kids went through the same thing and now my son is starting it. My kids would cry about wanting something before they even asked for it it was horrible. It seems like it lasts forever.

Here's what I am doing with the youngest and I wish I had done it sooner with the older 2. Maybe you are giving her too much attention. Don't respond when she whines. If she wants something wait until she asks for it properly. When she doesn't ask properly, say, "How do you ask me?" She will soon learn that asking is much easier than whining. So far my 2 y/o is understanding this and the whining is cut to a minimum.

Hope it helps because it lasted for years with my older two, I just about lost my mind.

Dear J.,

Whining is normal, you are giving her plenty of attention, and she doesn't need a bro or sis , at least not right now. The only way to stop the whining is to stop paying any attention to it. Act like you do not hear it. Do not respond in anyway, especially do not reward her if she is whining. They eventually stop, especially when you do not give in to whatever it is that they are whining about. This is simple, but important, you are in the process of establishing your 'rules' for her, and you need to be consistent - both you and Dad. The whining is an attempt to control you, so don't let that happen. You will be extremely sorry if you do, believe me. Please. Just be sure to watch that she is o.k. while you are 'ignoring' her.

One thing that you could do is give her something that you think my interest her just before you quit the attention time. Otherwise, just be patient, and know that you are doing the right thing. O.K.?

Relatives want to help, but they aren't right in this situation. Sincerely, C. N.

It took me up until the 3rd child to find a remedy for the whining. I've chosen to make discilpine as fun as possible. 18 months might be a little early for this technique, as their verbal communication skills & vocabulary or are in the beginning stages of development. So, at this stage I would first check yourself to make sure you are also not whining in order to communicate any of your wants & needs. This was an eye-opener for me, but I am more assertive & throw my own tantrums better! People, especially kids, learn by modelled behavior best. However, it is first important to identify what her needs are when she whines. Then decide if it is something you are willing to negotiate. The key to this is PATIENCE, especially with an 18 month old. Another factor you need to consider is that whining is a natural response to almost anything at this age. So, depending on what it is she needs, you may have to just focus on how to deal with tantrums if what she wants is not available or appropriate. Because if you find you are constantly giving in because the whining is driving you crazy, it's only going to get worse. It is definitely true that he may have a whiny personality & requires more patience. My oldest daughter is almost 5 & is beginning to grow out of her whining stage. It took about 2 years to reach a tolerable rate of how much whining she does & I still have to remind her at times that I don't understand "her accent". Now, it's pretty limited to when she's tired, but she is getting better at checking her ownself in this matter. Good Luck!

hi J.,
when you are done playing with her,do you give her a distraction?our christina is 9 months old and does the same thing..she has my undivided attention most of the time.I play with her alot,shes a happy baby and very smart for her age.as soon as I need a break and want to go in the kitchen to get something or I need the bathroom,she starts whining and crying the second she sees me moving away from her..all I hear is ''mamamamamama''I try to plan ahead and keep a few toys to the side that we hadnt been playing with,then as soon as im going to get up I give her those toys..she gets distracted with the ''new'' toys in front of her,it keeps her busy for a while at least.if shes tired and crabby thats another story..but it usually works..sometimes I have to give her my cell phone to keep her busy and just hope she doesnt call anyone..lol good luck,I hope u can figure something out..I know how hard it is when you need a few minutes to your self.

show her a more productive way of communicating her needs. reward her positive behavior and don't make a big deal about her whining because even though its a negative reaction its still a reaction and that's going to encourage her to continue.